And Baby Makes Ten

Nayeon sat in the doctors office nervously.

It had been a few weeks since Momo and Tzuyu had recovered from their cold and she was still spewing her guts out every morning. With the new serious virus going around her appas had begun to worry and so Sang had booked off work to drive her to a doctors appointment. Just a little check up to make sure it wasn’t serious. He had gone with her, Nayeon had never really liked hospitals. There was no deep reason for it, she just didn’t.

She hadn’t been feeling well at all; puking, exhaustion, needing to pee every half hour and her…chest had begun to feel quite sore. Nayeon was a little concerned. Originally she hadn’t been, instead choosing to enjoy the time spent with her sisters in quarantine. But when the other two began to get better and she didn’t they found that cause for alarm.

Hence why she was there. Sat on the cold examination table after having done a number of tests. The blood test had been her least favourite, she had gripped her Appa’s hand the whole time. Though having to pee in a cup wasn’t too thrilling either. Her Appa was not there for that one. She was glad the poking and prodding was over but now she could only await the results. Appa Sang stood behind her, hands on her shoulders for comfort.

“Right, Ms Kim!” Dr Song smiled as her walked in, “I’ve got the results from the urine sample.”

“That was very quick.” Sang noted,

“Our hospital is Korea’s leading medical professional specialising in plot convenience.”

“What?”

“What?” Dr Song continued, “Anyway Ms Kim, I have your results here as well as some news.”

“Good or bad?” Nayeon asked nervously, her Appa holding her shoulders tighter,

“Depends how you take it.”

Nayeon looked at her father who shrugged, he didn’t know what that could mean either.

“Right so, what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong, necessarily my dear,” The doctor smiled kindly, “You’re six weeks pregnant.”

“I’m….what?” Nayeon felt sick,

“She’s….what?” Sang ALSO felt sick,

“Pregnant!” The doctor did not read the room very well, “Congratulations!”

Nayeon’s hands flew to her stomach. Pregnant? How could she be pregnant? She hadn’t been with anyone since…the party! How could she be so reckless? There was a little life inside her, the whole way out to the car that was all she could think about. It was as though she could feel it, growing inside her. Her Appa asked her if she knew who the father was as they drove home and Nayeon saw the flash of disappointment go across his face when she told him she didn’t know.

That she had been wasted.

When they got home Sang asked Min-Jun to come into his office with them to talk, ignoring the concerned looks the girls had. Nayeon kept her hands on her stomach as she sat down, still stunned. There was a life inside her, a BABY. Sang filled Min-Jun about the situation after which there was a silence.

“So what do you want to do?” He asked after a moment,

Nayeon looked up, eyes glassy, “What do you mean?”

Min-Jun grabbed her hand, “About the baby, no matter what you choose we’ll support you. But it has to be your decision.”

“What are my options?” felt dry,

“Well,” Sang spoke up, “You could keep it, we’ll help where we can and you can move back here full time. Or there’s adoption, we know enough to find a nice home for them. Hell we could probably find a couple to adopt before it’s born. However, if you don’t want to continue with the pregnancy---”

“I’m doing the pregnancy.” Nayeon was adamant,

She had nothing against those who wished to terminate their pregnancy for whatever reason, but for her that was not going to happen.

“And you’re right,” Nayeon continued, “We do know the system. But I…I can’t put them through that. I don’t want my kid growing up not knowing where they’re from or who I am.”

“That leaves one option.”

Nayeon sat back and thought for a moment. Could she really do it? Could she really raise a baby as a single parent? It would mean no more college, her future would change. No more parties or late nights out. It meant growing up, growing up fast. She would have someone relying on her. Nayeon didn’t know the first thing about being a mother, she’d never had one. Her own mother had completely abandoned her and refused to explain why.

But could Nayeon do that to her own daughter?

No. No she couldn’t.

She had an opportunity now to do things differently. To be the mother she had never had. She could raise her son or daughter from the day she was born in a loving and kind house hold. They would never have to suffer in the cracks of the care system. They would never lie awake at night wondering why their mother didn’t want them. Sure, they hadn’t been planned. Sure, the situation wasn’t ideal. But Nayeon owed it to this unborn child to step up and accept responsibility for her actions.

Besides, it wasn’t like she was completely alone.

She had her Appas, her sisters - they would all help her. She wouldn’t rely on them, Nayeon was aware that she’d have to do most of it herself but it still meant she had support. Briefly she wondered if her own mother had had these thoughts, had weighed up all her options the same way. But Nayeon couldn’t dwell on that, not when she finally had the chance to make up for that woman’s mistakes.

“If I keep it…will you be ashamed of me?”

“Of course not!” Sang told her,

“We’ll support you however you need.” Min-Jun added,

“We’ll probably be frowned upon…”

“So what!?” Sang laughed, “We’re gay parents with 9 kids, some of whom are themselves queer, a daughter who gets brought home by the police every week and another who was once in the paper for winning a hot dog eating contest and throwing up on the judge. Our reputation is screwed either way. What matters is how you feel.”

Nayeon swallowed, “I’m scared but…I don’t know, it feels worth it. I owe it to the baby to give it a good life.”

Min-Jun smiled, “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Oh God!” Sang suddenly shouted, “I’m going to be a Granddad…I’m not ready to be old!”

Her Appas began arguing over who would make the better grandparent and later, when they told her sisters the news, another argument broke out over who would be the best aunt. Nayeon smiled, hand still on her belly. Watching her family get excited at the prospect of a baby in the house made her tear up again, but the real tears fell later when she was in bed and it all finally sunk in.

But she could do this.

She owed it to the baby to do this.

She owed it to her child.

And Kim Nayeon would always pull through.