A/N - RIP Sulli, please remember how important it is to keep the discussion of mental health active. Talk about it, let your friends talk to you about it. This world is ty enough, talk more and don’t make it tier.

It didn’t feel right to post yesterday.

Origins: Nayeon

Their Appas never found out about the party.

But the damage was already done, nearly all the girls were avoiding certain sisters. Jeongyeon and Tzuyu had been acting frosty with each other, Mina hadn’t spoke to Chaeyoung or Dahyun in days and Momo was furious with Sana. Nayeon herself had survived the party unscathed, partly due to getting drunk early on and hooking up with some guy the rest of the night that she couldn’t remember the name of. Jeongyeon had apparently walking in on them and couldn’t look Nayeon in the eye which, knowing how frisky Nayeon got when drunk, was probably for good reason. Their parents couldn’t understand the sudden cold atmosphere in the usually warm house, they put it down to a petty fight when they were away and assumed it’d all be sorted in a week. And it would, nobody knew that yet but within the next week everything would be all sorted and out in the open.

Nayeon was at that particular moment, laying in her room staring at the ceiling. She would do this whenever she worried about something, shutting off everyone to lay back and organise her thoughts. She was an extrovert and being around people, while she loved it, taxes everyone after a while so a moment alone did her a lot of justice before she craved human interaction again. Today her worry was on her sisters, she was scared that these fights could rip apart the perfect family life they had. It was no secret as to why Momo was uncharacteristically furious, Sana had given into peer pressure and taken something that she didn’t know the name of. The worst part was that she let Mina, who looked up to her, see her in that state. What if Chaeyoung or God forbid Tzuyu had seen her? Those two could be so impressionable and Sana could very easily have placed the idea in their heads. If their unnie did such things maybe they should try it too?

Mina had moved to Momo’s bed for the time being, however didn’t seem to be too angry with Sana. Instead she appeared to have more issue with Chaeyoung and Dahyun, not that either girl truly noticed. Mina was usually quiet and reclusive but everyone else had noticed that rather than sit with Chaeyoung in her phone she’d be sat in Tzuyu’s room or talking to Momo. Nayeon was saddened mostly by this, the duo were especially close (Chaeyoung and Mina) so to see Mina begin to pull away without the shorter girls noticing or caring was heartbreaking to witness. Mina was never one to be open about her anger, she would rather keep it hidden and act fine. Nayeon saw through it though, Chaeyoung and Dahyun had done something that had hurt the resident black swan and the worst part appeared to be that they hadn’t even realised. For them it was business as usual and Nayeon was fighting the urge to smash their heads together.

As for Tzuyu and Jeongyeon? God only knew. Tzuyu had been off for a while now and the family were beginning to become fed up with it. There was teen angst and then there was Tzuyu - sneaking out late, hanging around with people her family didn’t like, skipping her classes mainly science. At some point Nayeon planned to smack the girl upside the head and knock some sense into her. It was getting ridiculous! Originally Nayeon had suspected that Tzuyu was doing what they all had at one point, acted out through resentment for missing parents but sh was going way overboard. Nayeon had that panic before and she was nowhere near this bad!

Though she can admit she didn’t do the right thing about it.

Nayeon took a deep breath in the passenger seat of Yoona’s car.

This was not a good idea, she shouldn’t have even gotten this far. When she left this morning she had been so confident and now all of it had fled in the final moments. The duo were parked by a large gate, behind which was a long winding driveway leading to the most beautiful house Nayeon had ever seen. It was huge with a large door and a long staircase leading to it. It was surrounded by land, the greenest land Nayeon had ever seen with well maintained bushes and trees. It was the life future theatre major Nayeon dreamed of having. A life she could have had if decisions were made differently years ago.

Don’t get Nayeon wrong, she loved her life with Sang and Min-Jun, but there was a always a time that someone would want to know where they came from. Who they were deep inside. When she turned eighteen her parents gifted her the file from her adoption and allowed her to read it. That was the first time she ever found out her mothers name, she had been in care since birth and had always wanted to know why she had been given up. Why would her mother give her up before even knowing her? What had been so wrong with her as a baby that someone would hate her that much? She had so many questions she needed and only one person could answer them.

Which is how she ended up parked in Yoona’s car outside the house in which her biological mother lived.

Nayeon usually prided herself of her confidence, bordering on narcissism, but right now her usual ego and bravado had left her as she sat shaking in the seat. Yoona couldn’t offer any help, she didn’t know how Nayeon felt - she couldn’t know. That made it harder, but she still offered to drive Nayeon to and from so that she wouldn’t be doing it all alone. Plus it could be dangerous, all Nayeon knew was that her mother had been rather young when she had her. The woman could be anyone and having support waiting outside would help her in the long run.

“You don’t have to do this today,” Yoona said after a while, “I’ll drive you whenever you need me to.”

Nayeon swallowed and shook her head, “No it has to be today. I wont get the confidence again.”

“You’re Kim Nayeon…confidence is in your every action,” Yoona told her, “Now get out this car and go and get your answers.”

Yoona was right, she was Kim FREAKING Nayeon. She publicly yelled at a dance teacher for saying Momo’s choreography was subpar, she took the stage with her amateur theatre group every few months without batting an eyelid. She could do this. She squeezed Yoona’s hand for some last minute support and then moved out the car door. She approached the gate and found a keypad next to it with an intercom button and a small camera. Taking a deep breath she channeled all the confidence she could find and raised a shaky hand to press the buzzer.

There was a moment of silence and Nayeon considered pretending they hadn’t been home, retreating to the car again with an empty promise of trying again.

“Hello?”

Dammit…

Nayeon froze, panic setting in - she hadn’t planned this far.

“Hello? I can see you!”

“H-Hi I’m looking for Kwon Boa?”

“Speaking?”

Nayeon froze again wondering what to say next.

“Are you alright, dear?” She sounded kind, that’d make it easier,

Nayeon swallowed, “M-My name is Nayeon…”

“N-Nayeon…”

“You’re my….I’m your daughter.”

Silence.

“I’m not here to ask you for money or anything,” Nayeon rambled, “I just was wondering if I could meet you and maybe ask a few questions---”

“Get off my property.”

It was like her heart shattered in her chest, each scar embedding itself to cause more and more pain.

“P-Please, I deserve answers!”

“I don’t have a daughter, please leave.”

Nayeon felt tears in her eyes, the lump in being held back by sheer determination.

“Okay,” Nayeon said, tears spilling out of her eyes, “I’ll go, but if you ever want to contact me just go to the home where YOU abandoned me and you ask for their number. I’ve tried. Now it’s all on you.”

No reply, just the click of the receiver.

It wasn’t until Nayeon was safely back in Yoona’s car that she burst into tears. She felt defeated and abandoned, like she had done many times before. Yoona listened to what happened and cuddled her until the tears and sobs stopped, then and only then did she drive them home. To Nayeon’s real home, where her real family were waiting for her.

Nayeon never really got over the rejection of her birth mother, she wasn’t allowed the closure. It had left a lasting effect, she couldn’t even date long term for fear they would either reject her upon asking or realise later on that they did not want her. It wasn’t in the way Sana did, the girl would sleep around but she was also a hopeless romantic who just bored easily, when someone one day would keep her attentions then she would settle. Nayeon never allowed herself to even know the names of her one night stands, kicking them out once morning came. It may have made her a or a but she was too scared to do anything but.

However, as Nayeon lay in her room staring at the ceiling she remembered the other side of that interaction. All it had taught her about what family was, families were the ones that cared for you no matter what. When she failed a test her Appas cared enough to help her with the subject she struggled with, when Jihyo liked that guy from the bus Nayeon gave her advice and cuddled her when his girlfriend was discovered, it was when she and Jeongyeon would fight tooth and nail over everything but the second got real they had each others backs. Family were those who stuck around, thick and thin.

She realised she didn’t need her birth mother. Her Appas would cuddle her when she cried, they taught her to ride a bike, they went to every single parent teacher conference, they bought her perfect birthday and Christmas presents every year, they loved her, they cared about her. Those two men were her parents and she loved them. Boa was irrelevant to her and if she didn’t care enough to get to know Nayeon, to find out what a brilliant woman she had grown to be WITHOUT HER then that was her loss. If she did want to contact Nayeon she would need a big apology to her and massive thank you to the two men that stepped up and did what she couldn’t.

All these girls were pushed together, the only thing in common being their shattered and fragmented childhoods. But they were sisters, they bonded and loved each other. Each one would go to the ends of the earth and that, THAT is what family is. Nayeon frowned as she remembered the fighting that was going on and finally got off of her bed. She needed to get them all friends again they were family after all.

Families always had their fights, but above all else they were sisters and Nayeon knew exactly how to get them all back together again.

Who knows you better than family after all?