Wendy used to talk to Seulgi about everything. She would tell Seulgi about her internet friends, about the latest songs she was into, about her celebrity crushes, everything. She would call Seulgi’s phone at 3am to tell her something she’s been thinking about earlier. And Seulgi would listen intently, even if sometimes it sounded dumb. Even if Wendy would start rambling anxiously about her looks or weight, she would listen and then tell her she shouldn’t worry, that’s she’s perfectly fine.

But now, Wendy didn’t talk to Seulgi. Not that much.

Seulgi was facing her laptop screen, trying to get some work done when she started thinking about Wendy. The slightly younger girl appeared in her thoughts a lot more than usual for some reason. She thought back about the times they were inseparable, being at each other’s houses all the time, going out to get ice cream every day, even when it was freezing cold outside. Seulgi treasured those moments like they were the most important in her life. For her, the simplicity and lightness of their friendship made their bond special, like she wouldn’t feel this same feeling very soon.

It was kind of difficult to pinpoint where their friendship had changed. Seulgi has been thinking about it for months now, asking her friends, boyfriend and even her parents about it. But now, sitting there, procrastinating, a light shone on her. She sat up straight and looked at her picture with Seungwan, beautifully framed in white carved wood frame. She threw a side smile at it, thinking her best friend was beautiful as ever. They took that photo in a school trip during high school, in an aquarium they went to visit. Wendy was fascinated with everything and a little overwhelmed for some reason, so she grasped Seulgi’s left arm and stayed there for a while. Seulgi thought it was a great opportunity to take a picture, so she did, and the outcome turned out beautiful. Wendy wasn’t looking at the camera, instead she was observing the shark tank, which shone a blue light that colored her face in a way that made her stunning. The picture was just Wendy clinging onto Seulgi, who was looking at her with adoring eyes.

Seulgi always thought that picture represented them perfectly, considering Wendy always clung onto Seulgi over nothing and Seulgi just smiled it off. Their friendship was made of Wendy being clingy and Seulgi just going with it because… well, because it was Wendy.

But now Seulgi was confused. Her friend was not talkative and cheerful as always, instead, since a few months ago, she turned somewhat sad. Seulgi’s sun had stopped shining brightly and her world was now dark, without any kind of happiness. She tried shrugging Seungwan’s behavior off, but after a while, she couldn’t ignore it more. It was ripping every happiness of her, knowing that her best friend was sad somehow and she couldn’t help. Whenever she tried to start a conversation about this Wendy was fast to change de subject. Seulgi was frustrated. She was doing something wrong, but she didn’t know what it was. She was missing something, and she knew it, but couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, leaving her with empty guesses about what that was bothering Seungwan.

 Seulgi was about to dive in further on her thoughts when her phone rang.

jeongin <3

hey baby!!

i got two tickets for that new movie u wanted to see

wanna come? the session is in about 2h so theres time for you to get ready

and we can have dinner together!! waddaya say?? <3

She sighed at her lockscreen that contained the messages and stared at them until the phone turned black again, only to put it back on the table. She didn’t want to answer him. Seulgi had been ignoring him for the past few weeks, replying and going out with him occasionally. But ever since that night that Wendy helped her pick her outfit for her date with him, she felt weird. Seulgi felt as if being with him was a bad choice and felt as if she was betraying someone. She spent the entire date thinking about going home and ending everything with Jeongin, but she thought it was a passenger feeling.

Turns out it wasn’t, and she got sick of him. She couldn’t stand hearing his voice or smelling his perfume. Not even the hugs and kisses she thought she enjoyed had lost all their magic. The feeling she had of betraying someone was, in fact, the feeling of betraying herself. Seulgi had fooled herself to love him, in hopes of forgetting her feelings towards someone very special to her.

Avoinding eye contact, the blushes, the voice tremor...

“Oh my god, I’m such a .” With that Seulgi grabbed her phone once again and opened her messages app and typed a rushed message to her boyfriend.

Me

hey! id like that but can we do something else?

i have to talk to you about something

joengin <3

its fine sweetheart, whatever u want

are u okay?

Me

yeah im fine

its just

i realized something i should’ve earlier