Right now, I'm at our classroom hearing this blurry voice speaking about functions and numbers I don't get. While everyone or maybe some of my classmates who actually care are listening, I was busy staring outside our room's window. 

     I couldn't take my eyes off the orange tracksuit girl who's busy jumping rope at such a quick speed, I could hear the sound of the rope even here, while her ducky and hamster friend were busy sitting or flirting on the grass. She must've noticed someone staring at her faraway. She looked around until she eventually  saw me staring at her. She waved and smiled. Damn it. I felt like I needed to cough again.

     Right now, it's much worse than ever, I feel like I can't hold it in anymore. I could feel it brushing through my throat and I felt this sudden urge to vomit. I kept coughing and coughing, so everyone looked at me. I ran outside quickly, without even asking permission from my Math teacher. It was too unbearable, I even found it hard to breathe.

     While I ran, I heard footsteps following me to the bathroom. I could hardly care as the burning feeling in my chest and throat didn't stop. When I reached the toilet in the first cubicle I could reach, I immediately threw up those wretched things that are always trying to escape from my mouth. 

     They tasted familiar to a scent I've smelled before. When I looked at what I threw up, I was shocked. It was no longer just a petal, it was a whole flower. It was a whole damn rose that came out of me. I couldn't understand what was happening.

     "WONYOUNG?!", I heard someone gasp. When I finally recovered, I looked at the girl behind me who saw what's happening. It was Nako unnie and I could see how her eyes were wide and filled with shock and worry.

     "Unnie, let me explain. I don-", I tried to say while standing up and facing her but she beat me to it.

     "Hanahaki." She said, shock still written on her face. Now, we're both shocked. 

     "U-unnie. H-how did you know?", I asked her.

-----

     As we sit on the swing I and Yujin unnie usually sit on, I waited for Nako unnie to start speaking about what I have. When I stared at her though, I couldn't help but giggle when I saw her feet dangling, her short legs failing to reach the ground while sitting on the swing.

     "My- Uh- my best friend had Hanahaki.", my attention was back on her face when she started speaking. I was shocked. I wasn't the only one who had this.

      "At first, when she told me, I thought it was all just a prank, ya know? I mean who the heck would spit out flowers." I saw her laugh at own words. But then she got all serious, it scared me.

     "But then it started getting worse. From a petal, to a lot of petals, then it became whole flowers. We were so afraid at that time.", she said. I could sense the sadness in her voice. It was like she's on the verge of crying.

     "We looked for doctors, and all of them couldn't understand what was happening. We were so hopeless and about to give up. But we received a call from a doctor in Japan, our homeland. We flew all the way there to solve whatever she was experiencing. It really was getting worse and worse." I felt her clutching the metal chain of the swing.

     "It was one-sided love. And the only way for the flowers to stop growing and coming out was if the feeling became mutual. But I didn't know who she loved. I told her to confess to whoever it is. But she was stubborn, telling me it was impossible. One choice was left. Surgery. But if they manage to get it out and if it was a success, all the feelings she had for the person she loved would disappear and never come back." She stared at me. 

     "Wonyoung, do you wanna live?", she said, facing me and holding both of my hands, a tear slowly falling from her right eye. I could feel the desperation in her voice and the way she held my hands.

     "Yes, unnie. I- I do." I said, suddenly feeling desperate and afraid too. I never knew this was this serious.

     "Then confess to person you love." She said, her face saying she was serious.

-----

     I kept on calling Yujin unnie but it was always left on ring. After hearing Nako unnie yesterday, I couldn't get the thought of the possibilty of me losing her or dying. I decided to just tell her how I feel, hoping maybe she'd feel the same way. 

     I was clinging on the memories of how she stared or smiled at me. Maybe they hid the same feelings that I had for her too. Just maybe.

     Right now, I've decided to look for her in our usual spot. I looked at the playground, but no one was there. She isn't answering my calls. Where is she?

      I should check in her room then. When I arrived in front of her room, I decided to call her first, hoping she'd atleast check her phone but she still isn't answering.

     I suddenly heard this faint sound of a ringtone. It was her ringtone. It was her phone. She must be inside. There were only a few people there now since it's lunch time.

     I looked at her desk but only saw her phone lying on top of it, with no Yujin sitting on it. It was until I noticed the pair sitting closely to each other at the back.

    It was Yujin unnie and Minjoo unnie. With Yujin holding the phone in front of them, they were watching something. They were sharing Minjoo unnie's earphones. With Yujin wearing the left earpiece and Minjoo unnie the right.

     I wouldn't have been jealous if it was just that. But why did she have to put her arm over Minjoo unnie's shoulder? She never did that to me.

     Why did she have to smile at her like that? Like she was genuinely happy, genuinely happy without me. She never smiled at me like that.

     Why does she continue to stare at her like she's the only person she sees, like she's the only one who matters. I've been here the whole time so why doesn't she stare at me like that?

     I saw her whisper something to Minjoo unnie's ears and then Minjoo unnie smiling before hitting MY best friend's arm playfully. Then they both laughed while not leaving each other's stare.

     Even when I left the room, she still didn't notice me.

-----

     Seeing her like that with someone honestly hurt but I can't get myself to think of having to remove whatever I feel for her. It was like deep inside, I was still hoping. I endured all the painful flowers trying to escape, even when right now they felt rather acidic and felt like they were really burning my throat. 

     Perhaps if I naturally fall out of love, this disease will leave. Perhaps if I try to forget her, my body will forget hurting myself too, not just physically but emotionally. And the only way for me to move on, is to stop being by her side.

     Right now, as everyone starts to leave, I contemplate whether I should go outside or stay here, knowing that she'd be outside that door, waiting for me to come out.

     My stomach grumbled. I'm really hungry. If I continue to be like this, I'd die of hunger instead. So I just decided to say to hell with it. I started to walk quickly to the cafeteria.

     Then it was that hand again. The hand that tried to pull me everyday and decide to hold me so that we could eat together, the hand that I've been used to holding everyday since we've met. I still couldn't look at her, so I just stood there not facing her.

     "Hey, are you going to leave without me again? If you're mad about me not answering the phone. I'm sorry, I was too busy, I didn't notice it was ringing.", She said, from the sound of her words, I know she's pouting again. Yeah. Busy with Minjoo unnie. I still didn't wanna look at her. 

     I pulled my hand away harshly, knowing her grip was strong and left quickly. If I stood any longer, I wouldn't be able to resist myself from falling deeper. I tried very hard to avoid her eyes, even if it hurt deep inside.

      "W- Wonyoungie? What's wrong?" I heard her say while I was leaving, and I heard her voice which sounded like she was about to cry but I didn't bother turning around and continued walking. 

      I was hoping I'd hear footsteps following me, telling me to stop but no, she didn't come to stop me. And my dumb self misses her already.