HITOMI'S POV

     Every once in a while, I'd look up and secretly look at the girl in front of me. While the teacher hasn't arrived, I tried very hard to focus on studying to distract myself from the loneliness of being a loner but instead I kept stealing glances at the small girl. I would panic every time and pretend I wasn't staring every time she shifts or moves but I couldn't help myself but stare again.

     I know, it's weird of me to like a girl who treated me nicely just yesterday but it's pretty rare for people to be nice to me without wanting something in return or without turning out to be some evil person plotting some prank on me. I still doubt her intentions but I couldn't deny that I have this little crush on her, just a tiny bit, like her height.

     I swear I tried to convince myself that I don't like her last night but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get her smile, laugh and cute little face out of my head, making it hard for me to sleep. I ended up stalking all of her accounts and saving some of her pictures on my phone. I suddenly feel like a stalker, I'm not, right? I tried to send a friend request too but I'm a coward.

     I suddenly noticed that she was moving too much. I noticed she was flailing her cute lil tiny arms so I looked at her weirdly. She was looking down and she kept on moving her feet everywhere, I was starting to get afraid. But then I heard this faint sound coming from her direction. The sound was probably from her phone but it was too faint, I couldn't recognize what it was.

      After observing for a while, I figured out that she was dancing or trying to learn a certain dance.

     She then scratched her head cutely, probably not cutely but I'm too whipped, all I see is cuteness.

     She then looked behind her, I was surprised but successfully pretended to study. She then showed her phone and increased it's volume. I saw what it was. It was Twice's Heart Shaker. She then asked something but I was disappointed because she wasn't the one she asked.

     "Pssst. Chaewon unnie! Help me. I can't understand how to do this part.", she said while pointing at her phone. I heard Chaewon sigh and saw her look up from my peripheral vision.

     "I can't believe it. The Onces' president, asking me to teach her the choreo of Twice.", Chaewon said jokingly, while she still had her poker face.

     I looked at the phone once again and instantly knew which part she didn't get. Why didn't she ask me instead? Oh right. I can't speak. If only I could tell her that I've already mastered it's choreo but I couldn't myself to tell her. I could've used the opportunity to get closer with her.

     I could only watch as Chaewon stood up and walked to the front of the class, where there was a big space,  while Nako followed her.

     Chaewon looked at the phone for a while before teaching Nako. I felt something tug in between me. I suddenly became angry as I looked at the two of them. It wasn't because of jealousy. It was because for the first time since she came, she let go of her stern expression and started laughing. Her laughter remineded me of the times she laughed at me and embarrassed me in front of our whole class.

     While I suffered for so many years, not being able to forget all she made me go through, did she actually feel regret? While I looked at her right now, it seems like she lived her life normally and without the trauna of the past, unlike I did. She danced gracefully and skillfully, that was what I dreamed of doing since I was young, but she crushed the dream of my younger self.

     After a while, I think Nako has finally figured out the steps. Both of them went back to their seats, doing whatever they were doing before they danced. Nako was doing the dance while sitting and Chaewon went back with a poker face again as she continued reading.

     While making some notes, I accidentally mispelled a word so I looked behind me to grab my correction tape but while doing so, my bag fell. As I was getting it, I saw another hand reaching for it too. I looked up, only to meet the eyes of the person who made me suffer for so many years. Seeing her hold my bag brought back so many painful memories.

     I saw her pick up my bag as it fell from my chair. She was my friend, the only one actually, so I expected that she'd give it to me but before getting it from her, I looked at her and saw something different in her eyes. Chaewon unnie no longer smiled at me like how she usually does but she smiled like she was ready to do something bad. She was smirking.

     Before I knew it, she threw my bag to another person, it was the boy who always made fun of me. I was shocked with what she did and he obviously did too but then he smiled, just like Chaewon did. He then called threw it to another classmate when I was about to get it from him.

     I was afraid that the food I had inside which I prepared for me and Chaewon unnie would be spilled all over my notebooks and paper.

     They laughed while I kept on chasing for my bag, back and forth, they threw it around the room as they laughed. The laugh that hurt me the most was the one who I thought was my friend.

     I looked around, hoping someone would help me, but it was either they were having fun watching me suffer or they were afraid to be involved in this mess so they chose to ignore me. I only got my bag after class, when it was near the trash bin, all stained and dirty.

     I thought that it would be the worst that they could do but I was wrong, it was only just starting.

      Like usual, after our quiz, we would exchange papers. As I was about to exchange with Chaewon unnie, she turned her back on me and exchanged with other students. I looked for another person I could exchange with but it was hard because I can't speak. When one finally decided to exchange with me, I saw her hesitate, when I looked at the direction she was looking at, I saw Chaewon unnie warning her so she didn't do it.

     After a while though, she decided to exchange with me. I thought that she was my friend again but then after my paper was returned, I saw everything marked wrong, my answers were all changed into the wrong one.

     The correction liquid situation was the worst. She sat next to me for a while, before I knew it, I felt my hair getting wet. I saw her laughing as she put correction ink on my hair using a brush, painting on my hair like it was her masterpiece. I couldn't tell her to stop. I couldn't breathe. She called my other classmates and they laughed at me too as they crowded over us two. The only thing I could do was cry as she filled mg hair with the correction liquid.

     "Hitomi!", I felt someone said as she slapped me. Nako, Minjoo and Yuri were looking at me worriedly

     "You hit her too hard!", I saw Yuri say to Nako.

     ". I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I swear. I swear, Hitomi.", Nako held both of my cheeks and made me look at her. I don't know if it's because of her slap or it's because of how close her face is, but my face is getting redder.

     "I was panicking. Are you alright? I looked at you and called you but you just sat there, frozen. You were staring into space and I could see tears falling. What happened?", Nako said. I looked at my bag and saw that it was next to me again.

     "You can tell me, Hitomi. I already told you that I'm here, right? We're your friends right?", Nako asked me. I could only nod as a response.

     "What's wrong?", Minjoo asked me.

     This was the problem, every time someone was there to listen, even if I wanted to, I couldn't say anything. When I need comfort, I can't tell people. When someone asks me the problem, I can only nod or shake my head.

     People hated me because of that, some thought that I thought I was better because I told tell them and because I look like a snob. I really wanna share this pain and thoughts l to other people, but my mouth doesn't allow that. I can only cry while I'm alone. I have a phone but have no one to talk to, in return, I get no messages, I get no calls, and I don't have anyone there for me.

     I shook my head from left to right, telling them it's nothing.

      "Are you sure? Are you okay?", Nako asked.

     I nodded. I wanted to scream for help. I wanted to say that I wasn't but I can't. I really can't and I don't know why.

     They didn't seem to be convinced but went back to their seats, not wanting to push me to say anything too hard.

      I looked to my right and saw Chaewon, sitting as if nothing happened. She had this unbothered look. I wondered if she even has a conscience.

-----

     It was pouring hard outside. As I was walking outside, I realized that I don't have an umbrella. I decided to just wait for the rain to stop but there were almost no students around already as it was getting late but still the rain was slowing down. I didn't know how I was going to go home, Sakura unnie has been very lately.

     I suddenly saw Nako come out of the door. I remembered that she said that we'd walk together so I wanted to approach her but fear stopped me. I wanted to call out her name but I couldn't. I wanted to ask her if she could let me share with her umbrella but my mind was blank and I didn't know how to say it.

     She was looking around, looking for someone. I was hoping that it was me.

     "Nako. Wait! I don't have an umbrella.", I saw Chaewon run to her.

     "Oh...okay.", Nako hesitated and looked around once again but shared the umbrella with Chaewon afterwards. I could only stare as they walked further away. This time, what I felt was envy.

      Chaewon reminded me of what I can't do. I can't speak and have friends, that's something she can do without even thinking everyday. The simple things that are normal for other people, are things that are impossible for me to do.

     I walked home while it was raining, no longer caring if I get wet or sick.

-----

     I was dripping wet when I entered the house.

     "Hitomi, why didn't you call me? You're all wet.", Sakura gasped when she saw me and said. She stepped closer to me but I stopped her.

     "Please. Don't.", I said, my voice about to crack. I then went to my room immediately and showered. It took way longer than usual because I couldn't help it anymore and cried. I cried out, now that no one can hear me.

     After changing my clothes, I saw something on top of my drawer.

     "I know you're sad and I know you don't want to talk to me right now. So I bought these for you. Talk to me when you're ready please. I don't really know how to give advices but I'm here to listen. -Your pretty cousin, Sakura", I saw a note and saw a plastic bag. I saw 2 sausage breads, each one wrapped by plastic. I smiled at Sakura unnies efforts.

     Then I saw it again, from its reflection in the mirror, the painting of a woman. I mean it's as big as a 55-inch tv but portrait, how can I not see it? I stepped closer to it until I was in front of it.

     I stared at her. She looked so real, every detail, from her eyes that were staring like they could see my soul, her skin that was pale and showed no signs of blemishes, up to her lips that were tempting and showed perfection but held no emotion. It was painted so intricately that I felt like she was breathing too. To say that the woman was beautiful would be an understatement, she was flawless.

     I looked around the room to check if I was really alone. My lonely self needed someone to talk to so I sat down on my bed and started to talk to her, even though I knew she won't be able to reply. I only needed someone to listen anyway.

     "I can't speak." I sighed feeling pathetic that I was speaking to a painting but I continued.

     "I- I don't even know why. I just can't. What's even worse is that she's back. I haven't even be able to stand up from where she left me but she's already back, probably to drag me down again. I resent her with every nerve of my body but I can't help but envy her too. She's normal. She has friends she can talk to anytime she wants to and she does it with ease while I can only stare at people while they continue to enjoy each other's company. I want that too, ya know? Someone I could joke around with, someone who I could eat with or walk with, and even just someone who'd listen. I just want someone who'd stay by my side. I just want to have a friend but why can't I do that? And that Kim Chaewon, why does she have to remind me of how much of a loner I am? Why does she hate me so much? She doesn't need to hurt me physically and emotionally. I've been doing that to myself my whole life alrea---"

     "Are you gonna eat that?" Someone cut me off while I was speaking. I was pretty sure no one was with me. I tried to look for where that voice came from but there's nobody there aside from me. I carefully held my sausage bread while looking under the bed.

     "Hey?" I heard it again. It seemed like it was from the wall. I looked at the painting and I swear it felt like my heart stopped beating. The woman from the painting, she's alive.

     "I said, were you gonna eat that?" I was even more shocked when she started to speak to me. The next thing I knew, everything went dark.

-----

     I could feel the soft thing my head was leaning on in contrast to what my lower body feels, hard and cold. I could hear the rumpling of plastic and then I felt bread crumbs falling on my face.

     I opened my eyes to see what's going on. Wait. This isn't my room. I was in a room painted black. I then looked at the soft thing my head was leaning on, it was someone's thighs as she was seated on the floor. I looked up to see the owner. I was shocked to see the girl in the painting, she was eating my sausage bread.

     "AAAAHHHHH!", I screamed as I stood up and stepped a bit further away from her.

     "AHHHHHH! What? Why? Why are you screaming?", she screamed too after swallowing what she was eating, obviously shocked too.

     "Who are you? Where am I? Why did you take me here?", I asked her while turning my hands into fist and putting them in front of me, ready to punch her.

     "Woah- Woah Woah. Slow down. Chill", she said as she stood up and tried to cover her face, afraid that I might punch her.

     "What did you do to me?", I asked her and tried to cover my body with my hands. She laughed.

    "Wha- What did I do to you?", she laughed and put her arm down. I stared at her weirdly.

     "Wasn't it you who spoke to me and just fainted out of nowhere?", she asked.

     "No, I didn't. I was talking to the pretty woman in the painting. And if I did faint, why not just take me to my bed instead of whatever room this is?", I looked at her incredulously.

     "Ouch. This is where I live, you should be careful with yo- You think I'm pretty?", she suddenly asked in between what she was supposed to say.

     "What? You think I'd believe that you were the woman in the painting? Do you think I'm crazy?", I asked her again.

     "Look there. Do you still think I'm lying?", she pointed at something behind me. It was the portraits frame but from the inside, like a window, I was looking through it and saw my room. I slapped myself.

     "Ah shi---!", I reacted. This isn't a dream.  This isn't. Am I really inside a freaking painting? Have I gone mad?

     I stared at the woman again, she was holding my food and was staring at me too, expressionless. I began to get scared. What if she's evil or something?

     I ran to the direction of the frame and tried to escape before she could try chasing me. Then we heard a very loud sound and another one after.

     "Ouch. That hurt.", I said while I laid on the cold floor. While I was running to my room, there was this see-through glass in between the frame of the painting, a very hard glass as it felt like I ran into a wall and landed on the floor. I heard the girl laugh before stepping closer to me.

     "That must've hurt", she said before lending her hand and helping me to stand up,she was still laughing.

    "You think?", I asked her sarcastically. She laughed even harder. I glared at her.

     "Why did you even take me here?", I asked her, annoyance clear in my voice.

     "What? I was trying to help you. I was just asking you about food and then you suddenly fainted. I caught you and that's how you got inside here.", she explained, her face was expressionless again.

     Suddenly, a thought came in my mind.

     "Wait, am I stuck here forever now? I can't escape. Will I be spending an enternity here with you?", I started to panic and looked around the room for other ways to escape.

     "You got me here, don't you know a way for me to get back?", I looked at her and asked.

     "You're making it feel like I'm such a bad person to be with and that my situation is the worst. If I knew how, do you think I would still be here?", she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. I suddenly felt guilty about what I said.

     "I--I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way.", I apologized. While I was looking at her, I saw something meters behind her. A door.

     "Look, a door!", I quickly ran to it.

     "Wait! That's no---", she said and tried to stop me. But it was too late, I already opened the door. It wasn't my room but the place was beautiful, it seemed familiar.
I slowly walked to the park. I felt her follow me.

     "This isn't the door where you could escape, this is the door that leads you to different places.", she explained. I looked at her with a confused face.

      She walked to the middle of the park, on the grass, facing the river next to it, still holding MY food. There was another door at the edge of the park.

     "I mean, if you open that door, it leads to an amusment park, and then there's another door there which leads you to another place, but not to your room.", she said and patted the space beside her. I sat down next to her, still curious.

     I suddenly realized why this park looked familiar, it was one of the paintings in Grandma's art room, the amusement park she mentioned must be the other painting.

     "Is this where you live?", I asked her, she was looking at a distance, mindlessly playing with the grass in front of her.

     "I think so. The room where we came from, that's where I sleep, I guess.", she said, unsure of what she's saying.

     "How long have you been here?", I asked her again, I was afraid I was getting too nosy, she didn't seem happy about my questions.

     "I--- I honestly don't know. All I know is I woke up when you spoke to me, not knowing anything about what I am, but I feel like I've known this place for a long time already.", she said and then looked at me. She smiled at me, it was a sad smile. I suddenly felt bad for her.

     "What about... what about your name?, I asked her.

     "Kang Hyewon. My name is Kang Hyewon.", she smiled, finally, she knew something about herself. I smiled at her and held my hand for her to shake.

     "I'm Honda Hitomi.", I said. She took my hand. We shook hands, finally having a proper introduction to each other. For the first time, except when she was laughing of course, I saw her expressionless face turn into a smiling one. It was a genuine smile.

      I didn't know what to say or ask anymore so we were just silent. It was silent but it wasn't awkward.

     "Uhm... About what you said earlier, are you okay, Hitomi?", she suddenly asked. I remembered what I said to her about myself. The fact that I can't speak, what I felt about being a loner and Kim Chaewon.

      "You can tell me anything. I'm literally always here.", she chuckled and looked down before looking back at me, waiting for my response.

     "I just...I just feel really mad at myself because I can't get myself to speak. I'm mad because Chaewon used that to her advantage.", I told her.

     "Why can't you speak? Are you afraid or something?", she asked, still looking at me.

      "I don't know to be honest. I know it's irrational, but I can't get myself to speak. Perhaps I'm afraid of how people might look at me or perhaps I've been used to being like this. I... I honestly don't know. I just get anxious when I need to speak to people.", I said and sighed. I looked down, I noticed that I was the one mindlessly playing with the grass now.

     "Just speak, Hitomi. Try it. I don't think you don't have anything to be afraid of now. I mean look at us now, you're quite comfortable and fun to be with, you should know that. Stop thinking about what other people think, and just speak. Look at me and remember these words.", she said as she put the bread on top of her thighs and cupped both of my cheeks and me look at her.

     " what they think.", she said. I laughed at her.

     "Don't you think that's a bit weird? Suddenly just cussing out of nowhere?", I said to her.

     "Aishhh! You get what I mean. Okay just change it to 'Screw what they think' instead. Is that better?", she said, still not letting go of my cheeks. She started pinching.

     "It's so fluffy.", she said and then giggled. I laughed at her reaction.

     "I don't know how to speak to them though. I really can't. I don't think I can speak like other people can.", I said.

     "Just start small then. Start with small words. And then after doing that, you know what to do next. Maybe it's a matter of small progress. You just didn't know how to start.", she said and finally let go of my cheeks and got the bread.

     She bit the bread and said, "See, one bite first.". She then put the bread in front of my mouth. I looked at her weirdly.

     "Just bite it.", she said, suddenly annoyed. I laughed again.

      "But you bit on it, why would I want to bite on that part?", I said, teasing her.

     "I was trying to prove a point. Damn it. You ruined the moment.", she sighed and pointed the other side of the bread to my mouth. I laughed at her weirdness.

     "Just bite it.", she said. I bit a part a part of the bread and she bit on the other side too.

     "Shee? You shart wid a shmall bite.", she said and then bit it again.

     "And sthen you bite it again.", she swallowed what she was chewing and then continued, "See? It makes the bite I've made on it bigger?". She bit on the bread again, and she made me bite it too until there was none left.

     "See? Start with something small, until you've fully achieved what you want to achieve.", she explained as she whiped her hands on her dress.

     "You can start with small words. Then after doing that, you can do phrases next. Then before you know it, you can do full sentences already.", she explained. I got what she was saying and smiled at her.

     "Thank you, Hyewon. I'll do that and always keep your words in mind.", I said as I looked at her.

      "Btw, don't think that I didn't realize that you used my bread as an example so that you could eat it.", she then laughed at what I said. We both ended up laughing.

     After that we just sat while there was this comfortable silence around us. Suddenly we heard a sound.

     "We don't have to be ordinary. Make your best---", it was my alarm. I turned it off and put my phone back in my pyjama's pocket.

      When I looked at Hyewon again, I saw that she was shocked. Her eyes were wide opened and was wide opened.

     "What? Why are you staring at me like that?", I stared at her.

     "Wha? What was that?", she said and pointed at my , where my phone is.

     "What? The phone?", I asked her.

     "No. No. That. That sound? It was a weird sound. I've never heard anything like that before.", she said, she still looked shocked.

     "It's a song called 'Life Of The Party', you don't know the song?", I looked at her with one of my eyebrows raised.

     "A song? What's that?", she faced me and said. She looked like a cute innocent puppy. I looked at her with disbelief.

     "You don't know what a song is? You haven't heard of music?", I asked her.

     "Music?", she asked me. Now I was the one who was shocked.

     "Do it again.", she said to me after placing both of her hands on my shoulder.

     "Do what?", I asked, quite amused.

     "W-we don't have to be ordinary!", she tried to sing it but it came out way too out of tune. I wanted to laugh but she was so cute so I didn't want to stop her.

     "We don't have to be ordinary, make your best mistakes, like that?", I sang it for her.

     "Woaaah. You can do it too? You sound way better than what came out of the phone.", She said. That made me look away, as I felt my face get warm. I hate that I easily get flustered. I froze so she shook me because she was still holding my shoulder.

     "Do it.", she made me look at her, and looked at me with a stern face.

     "Fine. Fine.", I said and she removed her hands from my shoulder and clapped her hands like an excited kid. She really is weird.

"I love it when you just don't care
I love it when you dance like there's nobody there
So when it gets hard, don't be afraid
We don't care what them people say
I love it when you don't take no
I love it when you do what you want cause you just said so
Let them all go home, we out late
We don't care what them people say."

     I sang, even though I never really sang in front of anyone, I sang to her because this is the first time I've been comfortable with someone. I saw her smile as she listened and then she froze.

     "Let me touch you.", she suddenly said. I moved a bit further away from her.

     "What? What are you saying?", I said as I tried to cover my body with my hands and arms again. She hit her forehead with her palm when she realized what she said.

     "That's not what I meant, I swear. I just realized that I was holding you when I let you inside my world. Let me hold you, let's see if it works.", she quickly stood up and helped me get up.

     She suddenly grabbed my hand and quickly walked to the door where we went through. I looked at her hand that was holding mine. It was so soft and warm that it made my face feel warm too.

     We went to the frame. She still held my right hand and then looked at me.

     "Now try going through it.", she looked at me expectantly.

     While she was holding me, I lifted my right foot first and slowly walked through the frame. My eyes grew with shock. I looked at her and saw that she was happy that her idea worked. I then put my left foot and successfully stood inside my room. She let go of my hand, and as soon as we lost touch her hand was immediately forced back into the painting. I got sad when I saw that. I missed the warmth of her hand suddenly. I looked at her and she had this sad smile.

     "Thank you, Hyewon.", I said to her and smiled.

     "You should go to sleep now. Look at your clock, it's getting late.", she said to me. I went near my bed and laid on it. I put my blanket over my body.

     I looked at her and she was still there. She yawned. I wonder if she actually slept too.

     "Can you do it before sleeping, Hitomi?", she asked me as she laid her hand and head on the frame like it was a window.

     "Sing?", I asked her.

     She nodded and then said, "I like your voice.". I again blushed at her compliment so I covered my head and face with the blanket.

     "Oh, good night then.", I heard her say, disappointed, thinking that I covered my face with the blanket because I didn't want to. I removed the blanket from my face and decided to sing the english version of Secret Base.

"I'll never forget being with you at the end of summer
With our dreams of the future and big hopes
I believe that ten years later in August, we'll meet again
Such great memories...

We met in a sudden instant at the intersection on the way home
And you called out to me, and said "Let's go home together"
I was so bashful that I hid my face with my bag
But I was so very, very happy"

     I looked at her just to find out that she was already sleeping and snoring lightly. I smiled. She still looks pretty even when she's sleeping. She really looks like an angel.

     I too felt my eyes getting heavier. Soon I also fell asleep, looking at her face before finally closing my eyes.