THIRD PERSON POV
       "Hey, are you really okay?", Nako asked the girl behind her but she got no reply. Hitomi nodded a bit but didn't even look at Nako. Nako decided to stop asking now, afraid that she might be annoying to Hitomi for asking her for so many times now. Hitomi's friends noticed how she's been quiet lately, like how they first met her but she looked more down than how she was.

      Hitomi just went back to listening to music and looked out the window, too sad to move and interact with people. It's like everything became dull to her now. Waking up and getting out of bed are much harder for her now and the things she liked to do became things that bother her. She thought of Hyewon again. She remembered how she made her leave, how she screamed at her, how she pushed her but the things she remember most were how she made Hitomi change and how she made Hitomi happy, now they were just memories she can't go back to.

      Someone entered the room and went to Yuri's front first.

      "Hi Yuri.", Hangyul said and waved to Yuri. Yuri just awkwardly smiled at the guy who took Yena away from her. Hangyul then went to Hitomi.

      "Uhhh. Hitomi. You're Hitomi right? Chaeyeon said the one with the biggest cheeks, right?", Hangyul awkwardly asked Hitomi. Hitomi removed her earphones from her ears and waited for Hangyul to speak.

     "The President wants to see you.", Hangyul said making everyone in the classroom look at him weirdly.

------

      "Hi Hitomi!", Chaeyeon said as she stood at the center of the dance club's room. All the other dance club members now left the room for lunch except for the three of them and Chaewon who just stood at the corner, practicing something. Hangyul too went outside of the room but waited by the door because he waited till Chaeyeon was done speaking to Hitomi.

      "You're wondering why I called for you,  aren't you? I'm sorry, by the way, Hangyul probably did it again, called me the president. What he meant was the dance club's president. I just wanted to clear that out because I'm tired of all the misunderstandings that that dork caused.", Chaeyeon said before laughing awkwardly since Hitomi seems to be way more serious and a lot more quiet than usual.

      "Okay. Let me go back to the topic then. Do you want to be a member of the dance club? The school needs you for our school's festival.", Chaeyeon asked her or more like pleaded.

      Her breath hitched when she heard what Chaeyeon said. Hitomi always wanted to dance but she never told anyone that so it was shocking for her to hear that from Chaeyeon. She could feel her heart race as she felt like she was given such a great opportunity. But she also felt so afraid since she doesn't know if she's good enough. She's afraid that she'll ruin their performance. She didn't know what to say.

      Her hands went cold as sweat formed on her forehead, she doesn't know if she should say yes but she truly does want to join.

      "But don't you need auditions for things like that?", she asked, when she suddenly thought of it.

      "Oh. We've already seen the video of you dancing. And to be honest, not a lot of people wanna join.", Chaeyeon said, her voice almost as loud as a mumble at the last sentence as she was embarrassed.

      "V- video? What video?", Hitomi asked, not having any idea about any video of her dancing.

      "Oh. Chaewon didn't tell you? She sent us a video of you dancing Heart Shaker. You should've told me that you're awesome at dancing.", Chaeyeon explained.

      All the excitement Hitomi felt was now replaced by anger. She could feel her jaw tense up and then she formed her hands into fist because of anger. Chaeyeon sensed how Hitomi's mood went sour so she quickly made an excuse to leave the two alone.

      "Uhhhh. Hitomi, I'll be going now, Hangyul must be waiting for me.", Chaeyeon said and quickly ran to the door.

      Hitomi waited for the footsteps she heard to completely fade away before she turned to face Chaewon.

       She quickly walked towards her and harshly held Chaewon's collar with both of her hands. She then pushed Chaewon towards the wall and looked at her with so much anger in her eyes.
 

7 YEARS AGO
      Hitomi is nervous as she waits for their turn to dance, hands are on her lap, fidgeting as she sat down. She could feel how cold her hands are now and how quick her heart is beating. She couldn't think carefully and is now afraid to go up.

      "Hitomi. It's fine. We'll do great. Just do it like we practiced. We'll do great, I promise.", Chaewon said as she held Hitomi's hand while she was seated beside Hitomi.

     Hitomi's breathing gradually came back to normal as she closed her eyes and remembered the memories with the owner of the warm hands of the girl who is tightly holding her right now. They were in bad terms but dancing made them at peace again.

      She remembered how hard it was to break free from all the fears she felt. She remembered how nervous she was to start dancing. She remembered how she felt so insecure because she didn't even know the basics but she was brave enough to choose dancing as her performance on the school's festival. She was so afraid that she looked for a hidden place to practice and even felt down as she stared at herself through the mirror when she saw how awkward she was as she danced.

       She cried in her room, not having anyone to help her or at least tell her that she can do it. She covered with the back of her hand as she cried, afraid that her father will scold her for something so petty for him. She cried as she thought that everyone will laugh at her while she's performing on stage, all alone with no idea what to do.

      The next day, as she was hiding under the tree behind her classroom, she tried to practice. But then she heard a twig break as someone stepped towards her making her freeze from what she was doing, embarrassed because she was caught.

      "Why'd you stop?", Hitomi heard the voice of her former friend and current bully. She was even more afraid now. She slowly faced the other girl but unable to face her so she looked down at the ground. She began to feel like it was hard to breathe.

     "Why'd you stop? You were doing great.", Chaewon said as she held both of Hitomi's shoulders to try to assure Hitomi. Hitomi looked around to see if this was a prank. Hitomi looked around to try and guess what Chaewon's evil plan is but no one and nothing was there.

     Hitomi now finally looked at Chaewon, she was full of doubt and fear but all that disappeared when she saw how Chaewon genuinely smiled at her again this time. She was just young and naive, so she trusted her old friend again that easily.

      Chaewon hugged Hitomi tightly, surprising Hitomi.

      "I'm sorry, Hiichan. I truly am.", Chaewon said. Hitomi couldn't see Chaewon's face but she felt the tears on her shirt as Chaewon started to cry. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Hitomi patted the other girl's back, finding it ironic because she's the one comforting the girl who hurt her physically and emotionally.

      Chaewon let go of the hug and held both of Hitomi's cheeks. She took a deep breath and said what she wanted to say.

      "I know you're afraid but I'm here now. We can do it together. Will you let me? You know... perform with you?", Chaewon asked with hopeful eyes.

      Hitomi  just hugged Chaewon again. She truly missed her.

       They spent the weeks left before the festival practicing the dance. Hitomi was still felt afraid but it didn't matter when she was Chaewon because she enjoyed dancing when she's dancing with the other girl. There were instances when she wanted to quit so bad, when she wanted to rest because she was so tired but because Chaewon was there to cheer her on so she didn't.

      Hitomi heard their name get called by the host so she nervously stood up and took a deep breath. She walked up the stage amd hoped for the best. She's nervous but she knew she had Chaewon with her.














 

      But she was wrong.

      When she looked behind her, no one followed. Hitomi looked at the audience to find Chaewon but she wasn't there. Hitomi waited for Chaewon to come up the stage too but she didn't come up. She looked for her backstage but she was no longer there.

      "Ms. Honda?", her teacher called for her, telling her that she needs to perform now. She went there with her head down, unable to look at the audience again. She could feel her knees weaken as she walked to the center and her breathing getting heavier as she did. Her hands were cold and shaking as she waited for the song to start.

      When the song was played however, she froze. She looked at the people who stared at her and was unable to move, feeling like she was being judged by everyone.

     She felt her knees give up as she fell down on the floor, she just looked at the floor and cried. She heard how everyone around her was whispering. She heard how the students laughed at her. She looked at them one last time, hoping she'd find Chaewon but she wasn't there. Her vision was getting blurry because of her tears but she desparately looked for a certain girl from the crowd.




















 

      But she wasn't there.

 

PRESENT
      "What makes you think I'll fall for this again? Wasn't what you did enough? Wasn't all the years of hating myself enough? Why are you doing this again? What did I ever do to you?", Hitomi looked at Chaewon and said with gritted teeth, trying very hard not to cry and trying very hard to show that she's strong.

















 

But she's not.

      "Why, Chaewon? Why?... Have you not hurt me enough?", She said as the first tear fell from her eye. She couldn't help it anymore and continued to cry. Chaewon couldn't muster up the courage to look at her. She wanted to just let Hitomi hurt her so she didn't even try to fight back as Hitomi's grip on her collar got tighter. She knows that she deserves to receive back all the pain that she's given Hitomi.

      "D-do I deserve all of this?", Hitomi said, her voice cracking as she continued to cry. Her grip now loosened as she looked down and sobbed. Chaewon sunk down on the ground the moment she let go and started to kneel in front of Hitomi, even if she felt like her body was about to give up, she stayed on both knees. She just looked at the floor, fists trembling as she did.

      "I'm sorry. I...I didn't want to do it. I swear. I swear, Hitomi please believe me. I didn't.", Chaewon said as she stopped herself from crying. Her heart felt like it was so heavy as she surpressed how she felt for so long, especially now that she's trying to stop herself from crying and breaking down.

     "What? Are you saying I forced you to hurt me?", Hitomi asked her as she looked at the girl kneeling before her.

      "N-no. It was all my fault."

      Chaewon then started to explain what happened.

 

7 YEARS AGO
       A 12 year-old Chaewon sat at their dining area looking at the empty plate in front of her, not having any idea what to do. She stood up and looked for food in the cupboard and in the fridge but she found nothing. She held her stomach, feeling weak with no food in it.

       She heard how her stomach grumbled but it was overshadowed by the shouts behind the door of her parents' room. She looked at the direction of the door and felt guilty because it was all her fault.
 

-----


 

      Her father was a smart man, known in his school and even in the whole town as he was always 1st even if he had no parents to take care of him. He had to take care of his siblings all alone and study at the same time. He endured so many years to become a doctor but all that he worked hard for turned into dust...
 

      Because Chaewon came into his life.
 

      Her mother was also from a poor family but she was beautiful and bright. She was always in pageants and competitions making everyone admire her. She was hard-working too. She would walk to school with only old worn-out slippers and compete with the people who had perfect shoes and a complete set of notebooks. Her mother didn't mind not being able to eat and eventually met a man who loved her as she was, but...

 

      Chaewon came into her life, a daughter from another man.

      Now her father had to stay up all night as a teacher to get paid from doing other teachers' works. He would walk to his office, shoes almost worn-out, as his co-workers greeted him while they were in their cars, obviously looking down on him. His head always hurt but he couldn't sleep as he had all the debts to pay and Chaewon's tuition fee which was due yesterday but he asked for an extension till today.

      Her mother now only stayed at home, tired from cleaning old house that they rented for such a cheap price. It was old and dusty every time, so it gave her no rest. She couldn't even buy clothes for herself as she counted all the bills she had to pay. She decided to wash her worn-out clothes along with her husband's and daughter's while she thought of her friends. Today was her high school reunion but she didn't have the face to show her classmates. She didn't have anything to wear, she couldn't even afford to buy a pair of new slippers and new underwear. After doing the laundry, she watched the pictures of her friends enjoying themselves. She looked at the mirror and saw how much she changed, from having a  pretty and young face she turned into a skinny and weak woman.

 

-----

 

      Chaewon was shocked to hear another sound, she knew exactly what it was. Another fist on her mother's body, she could imagine it as she bit her lip to stop herself from crying it. She couldn't do anything. She thought that they would've been happy...

 

      If she wasn't born.
 

      Hours after that, Chaewon prepared herself to go to school. She was going to tell her mother that she's leaving now but her mother was staring out the window again. Her mother would do that every time she had no idea where to find money anymore. She'd do that when she remembers her friends and how successful they are while she stood there, with an empty stomach. She'd stare at the houses outside, remembering how she could've had that house but instead she doesn't have one. She'd stare out into space when she felt hopeless and tired.

      Chaewon could see a tear fall from her mother's eye so she kept quiet and walked with light footsteps so that her mother wouldn't hear her, knowing very well that her mother didn't like it when Chaewon sees her crying.

      She started walking to school, pretending that it was near, pretending that she had breakfast. She would hear her stomach signalling her to eat but she ignored it. Her feet were now sore because of walking too much but she walked and walked. She had to.

      She studies so hard just to show her parents that her existence didn't ruin her parents' lives. Her father would show off her grades and medals to his co-workers. Her mother would make feasts and invite her friends and she would show Chaewon, her smart daughter, to everyone.

      Chaewon saw how happy they were because of her achievements. Her father sat at the couch with her mother, a satisfied and genuine smile on both of their faces. Even if they were poor, Chaewon wanted to make sure that she'd work hard so that they could escape that. She desparately wanted to make her parents happy. So she worked hard and consistently became on top of her class.















 

      But it wasn't until a girl was accelerated from the lower year to hers that her life crumbled.

      Chaewon watched the new girl enter their classroom. She observed and noticed how different she is from the others. At first, people would approach Hitomi but later on they gave up, annoyed that the girl didn't speak to them. A lot of words became the girl's nickname: snob, loner, weirdo and many more negative words. She was always alone and inside the room, just studying. She wouldn't even look at people, her eyes always on the ground or on her feet.

      Chaewon found the fluffy-cheeked girl quite strange so it made her curious.

      When there were only two of them left in their room because it was recess time, Chaewon approached her.

     "Hi!", Chaewon enthusiastically said as she sat next to Hitomi. Hitomi only continued to eat her sandwich, her eyes avoiding Chaewon's.

      "Oh", Chaewon said and awkwardly laughed, she realized what her classmates meant when they told her about the new student.

      Chaewon still didn't leave even if it was quite awkward. Hitomi would steal glances but would look away when Chaewon catches her. Hitomi continued to chew on her food, while Chaewon thought of what to say. When Chaewon saw how Hitomi bit on her sandwich, she saw Hitomi's cute little chubby fingers making her smile.

      "Aweee so cute.", Chaewon said without thinking making Hitomi stop from chewing. Chaewon then hit her own head with her fist when she realized what she said, punishing herself for being so weird. She cursed herself again and again as she closed her eyes while looking away.

     Hitomi felt her lips tug upward. She was unable to stop herself from smiling because of how funny the other girl seems to be. She then quickly stopped smiling when she realized it.

      "Hey! I saw that! I saw you smile.", Chaewon said with wide eyes. Her hand covered as she gasped. Hitomi then scooted away from her a little bit, embarrassed that she was caught.

       Everything went silent again as the two of them sat there. Suddenly, Hitomi heard a weird sound. Chaewon quickly held her stomach as if it would stop the sound of her growling stomach, her action only confirmed what Hitomi thought.

      Chaewon shyly looked down, embarrassed because of the sound her stomach just made but then she saw something from her peripheral vision. She looked up to see the chubby little fingers pushing her container with a sandwich in it towards her. She looked at Hitomi but she was still looking away as she pushed her food towards Chaewon.

      "Oh it's fine. It's fine.", Chaewon told Hitomi, waving her hands in front of her, telling the chubby-faced girl that she's fine. Chaewon then pushed the container back towards Hitomi but Hitomi stopped her making Chaewon look at her. Hitomi pushed the food towards Chaewon again while Hitomi still continued to look away, to afraid to look at Chaewon.

      "Uhhh. Okay then?", Chaewon slowly took the sandwich from the container. Hitomi followed the sandwich with her eyes and saw how Chaewon bit on it. Chaewon ate it quickly, obviously hungry. Hitomi smiled as she saw how Chaewon was enjoying her food. Hitomi didn't have friends so she had a lot of time to observe things and the people around her. Hitomi has noticed Chaewon before and she knew from her shoes and from the fact that they're always the only ones left in the classroom during recess and lunch, that Chaewon wasn't that well-off. She noticed how Chaewon didn't eat during recess and lunch time.

      "You shmiled ashjgain!", Chaewon brought Hitomi back from her trance. Hitomi looked away again, making Chaewon laugh at how embarrassed Hitomi looked.

      Hitomi was now walking to school with an umbrella over her head as it was raining. It was quite peaceful until she shrieked when she felt a finger suddenly poking her cheek out of nowhere. Chaewon laughed at her reaction and then walked beside Hitomi to share Hitomi's umbrella with her. Hitomi rolled her eyes but deep inside, she was quite happy that the friend she met a few months ago is now here with her.

       The two were a perfect match. Hitomi was quite quiet and Chaewon was so talkative, so Hitomi was quite happy to have a friend that trusts her with things and Chaewon was quite happy to have a friend who is always listening to her and is always beside her.

      As they walked, Hitomi listened to Chaewon's rants about her favorite TV show. Chaewon never runs out of things to talk about but Hitomi wasn't complaining as she liked it that way.

      "Hi weirdoooo!", someone suddenly said behind them. Chaewon and Hitomi turned around and saw Ren and Paul making fun of Hitomi.

      "Yeah. Weirdo bleh!", Ren said before sticking his tongue out at Hitomi.

      Chaewon looked at Hitomi and asked for permission. Hitomi tugged on Chaewon's shirt to stop her but Chaewon was quite stubborn.

      Chaewon quickly picked up some stones and threw them at the two boys. Ren cried and ran away while Paul stayed to get some stones to throw back to Chaewon. As he bended down, Chaewon kicked his making him fall face first on the ground. He, too, ran away as he cried.

      "Mooom! She kicked me.", the 12 year-old boy cried out after standing up and running away.

      Chaewon laughed while Hitomi looked worried, afraid of what the two boys would do afterwards. She was worried but she felt happy too. She stared at her friend and looked at her as if she was some hero. Chaewon, too, was happy that she made friends with Hitomi. Together, the sad young girls didn't feel as lonely as they were without each other.

       After classes, the two of them sat under the tree behind their classroom. Chaewon laughed as she looked at the girl sleeping beside her. Hitomi was leaning her head on Chaewon's shoulder, lips partly open as she let out soft snores. Chaewon poked the sleeping girl's cheek making Hitomi wake up and glare at her. Chaewon laughed even more when she saw Hitomi's cute little fingers trying to remove Chaewon's index finger from her chubby cheeks.

       "Stop sleeping! I need your help here.", Chaewon said and pointed to her notebook. Hitomi sat properly and waited for Chaewon to start writing.

      Chaewon took out her pen and started writing but no ink came out.

      "Oh. Oh. Ooooooohhhh.", Chaewon weirdly said as she continuously tried to write using her pen even when nothing came out to make Hitomi smile again. Hitomi suddenly remembered what she was supposed to give Chaewon. She took something from her bag and brought it near Chaewon's face.

      "What?", Chaewon asked Hitomi. Hitomi then just put it on Chaewon's left hand. Chaewon looked at the pen with a peach-colored eraser and saw her name written on it.

      "F-for me?", Chaewon asked quite touched. Hitomi nodded cutely. Chaewon then hugged Hitomi tightly making Hitomi fall on the grass. The two of them laughed after they fell on the grass. Chaewon then helped Hitomi to sit up again.

      "Hey Hiichan.", Chaewon called Hitomi and turned serious. Hitomi waited for her to speak as she wiped the grass and dirt from her dress.

      "Can we promise each other something? You know... Like those promises on TV where they link their pinkies together.", Chaewon asked Hitomi. Hitomi nodded immediately, quite excited to have her first pinky promise, and held out her pinky so Chaewon linked hers with Hitomi's.

       "Promise that we'll be friends forever?", Chaewon said as she smiled at Hitomi, her pinky now linked with the other girl's.

      
       "Promise.", Hitomi softly said, making Chaewon widen her eyes as she now heard Hitomi's voice. Chaewon then hugged the other girl tightly, making them fall on the grass again.














 

      Their young and naive selves promised to each other, happy and unaware that promises are meant to be broken.

      Chaewon sat at the couch, fingers fidgeting as she waits for her father. She continued to look down and stared at the hem of her dress as she listens to her father's heavy footsteps. She flinched and bit her lip when she heard her father throw something on the table. She then heard her mother's light and quick footsteps follow. Her mother sat down at the couch beside her, her hands shaking as she feared what would happen.

      "I've worked so hard to raise you and this is how you repay me?", her father's voice boomed across the living room making Chaewon grip on the hem of her dress tightly. She then saw something drip on her lap.

      "I'm-", Chaewon tried to explain but her father cut her off. Chaewon looked at the papers her father threw at the table. She bit her lip harder, afraid to let her father her cry. Her heart felt heavy as she stopped herself from making a single sound. She quickly wiped the tears continuously forming on her eyes.

      "I can't understand how a mute girl who's younger than you beat you!", her father said as he now stood in front of her. Chaewon could feel the heavy stops in front of her as he walked closer.

     "HOW. CAN. A. MUTE. GIRL. BEAT. YOU?", Her father said with his gritted teeth, his jaws tensed and his hands formed into fist.

      "Dad, I... I'm...sorry...I'm sorry.", Chaewon still couldn't form a proper sentence. Her bottom lip now shaking as she tried to let the urge to cry die down.

      "We worked so hard and suffered...", Her father paused and walked towards her. He held her chin up so that she'd look at him directly in the eyes.

      "Just because of you.", her father said to her, his hand still holding her face tightly. She couldn't stop her tears from falling anymore so she cried. She thought, all of these suffering are happening just because of me...





 

Just because of me


 

Just because of me



 

Just because of me




 

Just because of me

 

      Those words continued to ring in her mind.

      "I... I...t-tried my best, I really did. It's just tha-", Chaewon tried to say.

      "Stop making excuses. If you worked hard enough, then this wouldn't have happened.", Her father said.

       "ing useless.", her father said as he let go of her face and turned his back to walk away. Chaewon heard it again. The word she hated the most.

      "Yeah, I'm useless, aren't I? Even if I tried very hard to make you feel proud of me, I'm still useless. I've never been enough for you, have I?", Chaewon said making her father turn around and face her. She looked at him with no emotion, even if tears were falling. She was too tired to even feel sad. She was too tired to feel sad again. Again and again.

       Her father quickly walked towards her with so much anger in his eyes. He started to raise his arm so Chaewon closed her eyes as she waited for the pain to hit her cheeks. But nothing came.

       She slowly opened her eyes and saw her mother holding back her father's arm. Chaewon's eyes widened. Her mother never tried to stop her father when she was the one on the receing end because she was afraid. But right now, while tears also fell from her eyes, she stopped Chaewon's father.

       "Stop. Please just stop.", her mother said as she pleaded to her father.

       Her father came back to his senses and slowly put his hand down. He then walked out of the house, unable to meet his daughter's and wife's eyes again because of guilt.

       Days after that, her father taught her so that she won't be beaten again.

      As they sit in the living room, in front of the table, Chaewon felt her eyes getting heavier and heavier at each second that passed. Her father continued to speak but Chaewon couldn't take in anything anymore, too tired and sleepy. Her eyes slowly travelled to her watch as she discreetly positioned her arm in a way that she could see it.

1 am.

       Chaewon felt like her body was giving up as it, too, felt heavier and harder to control than usual. Slowly, even if she was against it, her sight gradually became darker as her eyelids are giving up. Her head bobbed up and down as she slowly let go of every sense.

       "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?", her father screamed at her making her wake up and her heart beat unusually and painfully faster because of the shock.

       "Why aren't you listening? You're not working hard enough.", her father said before hitting the table with his fist making Chaewon flinch and sit straight up. Her father glared at him so Chaewon looked at the papers in front of her again.

       Her father continued to speak. Chaewon felt like the words coming out of her father's mouth as he explained are becoming more blurry to her now, the letters on the paper are now so blurry because of the drowsiness she's fighting again.

       She gulped and was shocked to feel something warm falling from her eyes. She was too sleepy and was forcing herself to wake up too much that tears now came out of her eyes. She felt the drowsiness coming back again as she forced herself to sit up and continue listening, making her back hurt and her breathing unusual in the process. Her mind was dizzy but she was so afraid that her father might scold her for not trying hard enough again.


 

       Chaewon walked inside of their classroom, tired and hungry. Her eyes instantly looked for her fluffy-cheeked friend as soon as she stepped inside.

       Chaewon smiled and walked towards her but stopped when she saw Ren sit behind her. She couldn't hear what he was saying she knew it wasn't good. She saw how Hitomi held her pen tightly and how her face showed how uncomfortable it was. Ren laughed and wrote on her paper. It made Chaewon angry so she continued to walk to their direction but then she froze in her spot.

      What her father said came across her mind.

"We worked so hard and suffered...













 

Just because of you."

      Chaewon froze on her spot as she looked at the girl who continues to beat her even if she studied so hard, even if she can speak.

       She saw how Hitomi couldn't concentrate on her studies because of the bully beside her. She saw how Hitomi was unable to continue and write anything as the boy spoke words that probably hurt her. And then she saw a tear fall on Hitomi's paper as she cried.

      Chaewon felt hurt when she saw it but she fought the urge to go near them. She turned her back and turned a blind eye as she pretended to not see anything. Her hands formed into fists as she tries to hide the guilt she feels deep inside but she didn't do anything and just walked away. She could feel the guilt making her heart feel so heavy but she didn't do anything as her father's words continue to resonate inside her mind.

 

-----


 

      As Chaewon continued to write on her notebook, she heard a loud thud. She looked beside her and saw that Hitomi's bag fell on the floor. She bent down and took it to help Hitomi but then she stopped as she remembered what she's supposed to do to beat the other girl in class.

      She forced a smile and saw Ren looking at her. She then passed the ball on to Ren, shocking him but then he smiled at what Chaewon did. Ren passed the bag on to someone else but Chaewon didn't even care enough to know. All she saw know was how betrayed and broken Hitomi looked. Her hands became cold and her chest suddenly felt painful as she saw how Hitomi's eyes looked, she looked like she was about to cry. She saw Ren look at her and forced a laugh, it was a laugh that's empty. She then saw Hitomi looked away from her and saw her quickly wipe something on her face.

       After a quiz they had, Chaewon couldn't even get herself to look at Hitomi. Chaewon felt mad at herself so she looked for other people to exchange papers with. She stole a glance at Hitomi and felt guilty as she saw how the other girl looked lost with no one to exchange with her. Chaewon then saw Paul motioning the girl on Hitomi's left to take Hitomi's paper as if she's exchanging with her. Paul had this mischievous smile again making Chaewon's blood boil. She then looked at the girl to whom Paul is telling to take Hitomi's paper and warned her not to do it. She looked at the girl with anger in her eyes, telling her not to give it to Paul.

      After another quiz, Chaewon decided that it won't affect her and Hitomi if she jusf exchanged with her. She exchanged papers and was ready to check the other girl's paper but then Ren, the boy beside her, took it from her. She struggled to take the paper back from him because he was much taller and had longer arms to use to stop Chaewon from getting near the paper as he wrote on it. When she was successfully able to get it, her teacher said that it's time to return the paper to the owner.

       She looked at the paper and saw what Ren did to it. She stared at it, not knowing what to do. She then saw Hitomi's chubby fingers slowly taking it from her. She looked at Hitomi and saw how she looked so sad because of what happened to her paper. Chaewon shook her head, saying that she didn't do it but Hitomi didn't look at her anymore. Not once after that did Hitomi look at her ever again.

      After a few days, Hitomi still hasn't looked at her. Chaewon felt like they went back to strangers. She was like any other person in the room now as Hitomi didn't look at her now too. Hitomi's fear of having eye contact with her came back as Chaewon broke her trust.

       As Chaewon used her correction ink to cover her erasure, Chaewon saw Ren and Paul sitting together from her peripheral vision, looking mischeviously at Hitomi. Chaewon's eyes widened when she saw what Ren was trying very hard to hide. It was a jar full of worms, something she knew Hitomi fewred the most. Chaewon knew that they were planning something again.

      As she stood up to stop the two, Chaewon accidentally put some ink on Hitomi's hair. Chaewon saw how Hitomi flinched and was about to apologize when she saw Ren and Paul getting closer. She panicked and then did what first came into her mind. She used her brush to paint even more and screamed.

      "HEY GUYS! LOOK AT HITOMI!", Chaewon screamed and got her classmates to look at them. Ren and Paul stopped walking towards them, knowing that it would be dangerous if everyone found out that they put worms in her bag. Other students went nearer to Chaewon and Hitomi to see what happened. One student accidentally brushed passed Ren's shoulder making him let go of it. The jar fell and broke on his feet and the worms escaped everywhere. Ren and Paul then tried very hard to chase the worms away from the room so that their teacher wouldn't scold them when she finds this mess, their plan was now long forgotten.

      Chaewon looked at Hitomi and saw what she did. She heard Hitomi cry so loudly making her mad at herself. She didn't know if embarrassing and putting on white ink on Hitomi's hair was better than the worms about to be put in her bags. All she knew was she was the worst person ever. She hurt her best friend and left her alone to suffer. She badly wanted to hug the other girl to let her know that she's sorry and that's she's still here for her but her fear stopped her from doing so.

       Chaewon quickly went home after dismissal and closed the door. She leaned on the door and sunk on the ground. She stared at the pen her friend gave her and held it close to her heart as she cried, her other hand covering as she did. She closed her eyes and remembered how Hitomi looked and cried. She remembered that she's the reason why she's hurt. She remembered what she did to her, all because she's selfish and afraid. She cried and wanted to just stop breathing because she hurt friend just so she could at least be appreciated by her parents.

       "I'm sorry, Hiichan."

     After a few months, their teacher announced that their school will have a festival and a performance was mandatory. Chaewon saw how students formed their respective groups, she too was invited by a group of students but all she could see was Hitomi who was still seated on her chair, all alone. She looked around, hoping someone will want to be in a group with her but no one came. Hitomi just looked down and doodled on her paper, bottom lip trembling as she fought the urge to cry.

       While everyone was practicing in the room, Chaewon saw Hitomi walk out of the room. Chaewon followed her and saw that she went to their usual hangout place. She smiled at the sight of Hitomi being under the tree again.

     Hitomi then played something on her phone and then put it on the ground, making it stand by letting it lean on the tree. She looked around to see if someone is around so Chaewon quickly hid behind another tree. After a few moments, Chaewon peeked out from the tree to look at Hitomi.

      Chaewon could see how anxious Hitomi was but when Hitomi started dancing, it's like everything disappeared. Hitomi studied the dance on her phone for a bit and instantly got the dance. She moved flawlessly, like dancing was that fun and simple for her. Chaewon smiled at the sight of the girl dancing skillfully.

      Chaewon was so immersed that she forgot that she was hiding. She stepped closer so that she can have a better view. She went back to her senses when she accidentally broke a twig, making a sound that caught Hitomi's attention in the process.

      She quickly tried to look laid-back even when she's clearly panicking before Hitomi could turn around and look at her. Chaewon cleared before speaking.

     "Why'd you stop?", Chaewon asked her. Hitomi turned around and had this suprised face when she finally looked at Chaewon. Hitomi just looked away. It hurt Chaewon to see her friend like this. She could sense the fear that Hitomi felt.

       "Why'd you stop? You were doing great.", Chaewon said as she held both of Hitomi's shoulders to try to assure Hitomi. Chaewon felt hurt when she saw how Hitomi looked around to see if this was a prank, it was now clear that Hitomi doesn't trust her anymore.

      Hitomi now finally looked at Chaewon, Chaewon saw that Hitomi was still doubting her so she smiled at younger girl, hoping Hitomi would see that it was a genuine one. Chaewon looked at her chubby-cheeked friend and felt happy, now that she's able to be this close to her again. Chaewon couldn't take it anymore and hugged Hitomi tightly, surprising Hitomi.

      "I'm sorry, Hiichan. I truly am.", Chaewon said as her voice cracked. Chaewon finally let out all the pain she wanted to let out and cried. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Chaewon felt comfort when she felt Hitomi patting her back.

       Chaewon let go of the hug and held both of Hitomi's cheeks. She took a deep breath and said what she wanted to say.

       "I know you're afraid but I'm here now. We can do it together. Will you let me? You know... perform with you?", Chaewon asked with hopeful eyes.

       Hitomi just hugged Chaewon again. Chaewon felt so happy that Hitomi gave her another chance and smiled.

       Chaewon is nervous too as she waits for their turn to dance but pretended to be confident for the girl beside her. She saw how her hands are on her lap, fidgeting as she sat down. Chaewon took and held Hitomi's to make her calm down.

      "Hitomi. It's fine. We'll do great. Just do it like we practiced. We'll do great, I promise.", Chaewon said as she held Hitomi's hand while she was seated beside Hitomi.

      When their names were called, they stood up and walked to the stage but before Chaewon could even step on stage, someone harshly pulled her by the arm.

      "What are you doing? Shouldn't you be studying for the entrance exam tomorrow?", her father hissed as he held her arm tightly.

       "Dad. I have to perform. I--I have to...", Chaewon tried to say but her father pulled her to the direction of the school's exit.

      "Dad! Please just let me. Please!", Chaewon pleaded, her father was holding her so tightly now.

      "Dad!", she cried out, her arm feels so painful as her dad continues to pull her with him as he walked. She tried to remove her father's hand but he wouldn't stop.

      Chaewon heard the song starting now.

      "DAD PLEASE!", Chaewon screamed but it was like her father heard nothing.

     When they were about to exit the school, Chaewon heard the crowd laughing. She felt sorry for Hitomi for leaving her.

      "HIICHAN!", she cried out but no one could her now as they're now out of the school's campus.

       After a few weeks, Chaewon sat inside their classroom. She could feel the painful bruise on the side of her lips as she remembered how angry her father was last night when she failed the exam for the most known science high school in the country. Even her mother couldn't stop him, anymore.

      "You fail and lose one more time, and I won't ever let you inside this house again. You hear me?", her father said after hitting her.

       Chaewon then heard Ren laughing loudly. She saw how both Ren and Paul were standing behind Hitomi, who is only seated on her chair. Hitomi was writing something but then Ren push her head making Chaewon stand up from her seat.  She saw Paul pushing her head and then laughing as Hitomi just continued to write using her old pencil, having a sharp metal edge because she bit on it so that she could still use it by squeezing out the eraser, even when the two boys continued to make her head bob up and down. She could see how Hitomi bit her lip as she stopped herself from crying.

       What the two boys were doing made Chaewon enraged. She walked towards them, hands closed tightly into fists. When she was about to punch Ren, the thought of her mother getting hit because she wasn't with her in the house anymore made her freeze.

       "Hey Chaewon. Come look at our toy.", Ren said as he pushed Hitomi's head again. Chaewon stood there frozen, not knowing what to do.

      "Oh come on. Are you a coward?", Ren said to Chaewon making her even more mad. Chaewon just glared at him.

       She was completely unaware of what Paul wanted to do. Paul took her left arm and made Chaewon's hand push Hitomi's head. Chaewon pushed Paul while he continued to laugh at what he just made Chaewon do. Chaewon went to push Ren too but when Chaewon saw how terrified Ren looked while looking at Hitomi behind Chaewon, she became worried.

       She could see blood on the sharp metal end of Hitomi's pencil. She then saw Hitomi holding her right eye, with a bit of blood on her fingers. Hitomi started to cry, it was the loudest cry people have ever heard of her making everyone in the room look at them.

      Chaewon's eyes widened at the sight. She had no idea what to do and panicked. She went to step closer but her classmate pushed her away.

       "Isn't this too much, Chaewon?", her classmate stared at her with so much anger in her eyes before she helped Hitomi get up from her seat and guide her to their school's clinic.

      "I...I didn't..I...", Chaewon couldn't speak and wanted to follow the two but her classmate stopped her

      "What are you doing? Don't you think you've done enough? Don't go near her ever again!", her classmate hissed.

       Chaewon stood there as she watched Hitomi and her classmate walk out of the room and towards the clinic.

       Minutes after it happened, Chaewon still couldn't sit still. She bit her fingers as she continued to wait for Hitomi to come back. She looked at Hitomi's desk and saw some traces of blood left on it. She felt so afraid of what might've happened to Hitomi.

      "I can't take this anymore.", Chaewon stood up and decided to run to the clinic.

      When she entered, only the school's nurse was there.

      "Ms. Where's Hiichan?", Chaewon asked the nurse, still out of breath.

       "Oh they just left, dear.", the nurse said apologetically at the young girl.

      "She'll be able to come to school tomorrow, right?", Chaewon asked the nurse again, hoping.

     "Don't worry, she's fine. She was lucky to have her eyes closed at that moment because if not, the damage would've been worse.", the nurse explained to her making Chaewon sigh in relief.

      "But I don't think she'll come back here anymore.", the nurse said to hear making Chaewon worried again.

     "Why not? What do you mean, Ms.? Where is she going? Where is she...where is she?", Chaewon stuttered and felt like she was about to cry upon hearing the news.

      "I think she's moving to another place but I don't know where it'll be, I'm sorry.", the nurse told the young girl making Chaewon lose hope, not having any idea how to find her now.

     "But they just left, I think you can still catch up to them.", the nurse smiled at her and held Chaewon's shoulder.

      Chaewon then heard an engine being started so she ran without even thanking the nurse. She ran as quick as she can out of the building and looked for the car.

      She saw a car moving towards the gate now and instantly recognized Hitomi at it's backseat. She chased for the car, running faster than she ever has.

      She ran and ran but the car was too fast. The car now successfully left the school and was now speeding up as it was now on the road. Chaewon ran and now exited the gate before looking left and right to look for where the car went.

      She saw it going to the right direction so she started chasing for it again, her heart beating so loudly and quickly now. She felt weaker and it felt hard to breathe now as she ran but she continued to run anyway.

       "HIICHAN!", Chaewon screamed before falling on to the ground. She looked up and saw that the car is far away now but she didn't want to give up. She stood up again and felt so much pain on her left knee, making it hard and impossible for her to run.

      "HIICHAN!", she screamed again, hoping Hitomi would still hear her but it was hopeless now. She stopped chasing for the car and just sat there.

      "Hiichan, I...m I'm sorry", Chaewon cried out as she stayed there and watched the car leave. She didn't even have the chance to talk to and apologize to her friend one last time.

PRESENT
      Hitomi didn't know what to say because she felt angry, pity but most of all she felt hurt because of what Chaewon told her.

      "I'm sorry, Hiichan. I... I really am.", Chaewon held both of Hitomi's hands as she still kneeled in front of her.

      "Don't ever call me that", Hitomi looked at Chaewon and said as she tried to remove Chaewon's hands from hers but Chaewon didn't let go.

      "Did getting hurt give you the right to hurt me?", Hitomi said as she felt more tears falling on her face.

     "I...I'm s-sorry. I was just dumb and desparate, I didn't know what to do.", Chaewon said but was still unable to look at Hitomi.

      "You were the only one I trusted...











 

      But you chose to hurt me too.", Hitomi said making Chaewon finally look at her. Hitomi could feel Chaewon's grip loosen gradually as Hitomi's words sinked in Chaewons mind. Hitomi pulled both of her hands away from Chaewon's making Chaewon's palm fall flat on the floor as she kneeled.

     Hitomi then walked away, leaving Chaewon all alone in the dance club's room. Before Hitomi could completely leave, she heard Chaewon finally break down. Chaewon cried without caring if someone heard and saw her anymore, she  just cried. For the first time in her life, she let herself cry without any restrictions because she's been that for way too long now.

       Hitomi cried quietly as she stood by the door, listening to her old friend's sobs. Years of thinking that Chaewon was evil was now replaced by the thought that Chaewon was suffering too.