It had been ten days since Dahyun had found out about her pregnancy, and almost a full week since she had gone to the doctor and seen the scans, the memory of those little fluttering heartbeats still playing back in her mind.

 

She found it strange just how different everything seemed with this newfound knowledge that there was a tiny person growing inside of her.

 

It was like her entire world had been turned upside down.

 

Dahyun rolled out of the bed—Nayeon's bed this time—and hurried to the bathroom, just in time to be sick over the toilet.

 

When she had finished getting sick, she grabbed a wet washcloth, wiped the corners of her lips and then quickly rinsed with mouthwash, fully awake at the tingle of the strong mint flavor.

 

This had became her morning ritual in the last few weeks.

 

At first she hadn't understood why she was sick—attributing it to the anxiety attacks she had been suffering from since what had happened nearly three months earlier—but now that she understood, she simply accepted that it was her cross to bear for the time being.

 

150447982081. in front of the mirror, she took a moment to examine herself, pulling up her t-shirt and turning side to side, checking to see if she looked any different. Of course she didn’t, not really at least. She had only put on a few pounds—some of which she had lost in the months prior due to stress—but she couldn’t help but feel different after seeing the scans.

 

99226400775267. she allowed herself to place a hand on the soft, pale skin of her stomach, somewhat unsure in the unfamiliar action. It was like by putting her hand there—acknowledging the little life growing beneath her fingertips—that she was suddenly securing herself to this reality, and it scared her in so many wonderful ways.

 

"Hey there," Dahyun whispered softly, hoping Nayeon stayed asleep.

 

(She remembers reading somewhere that talking to plants helps them grow stronger and healthier, so it only made sense in her mind that talking to a growing human would do the same.)

 

"I'm your eomma...um, I wasn't really expecting you to come into my life, not like this at least, but I hope you're growing well in there. I'm sorry that it's just me, but I'll take care of you the best I can, okay? Saranghae."

 

She turned to the side again, startled when she noticed Nayeon standing in the doorway, half-asleep.

 

12355. quickly pulled her hand away from her stomach—like she had been caught doing something wrong—and makes herself dizzy when she moves too fast.

 

“Unnie, how long have you been standing there?” She asked, grabbing a hair tie from beside the sink and pulling her hair into a messy bun.

 

“Just got up,” Nayeon mumbled, wiping the sleep from her eyes. “Noticed you weren’t in bed and thought you might be getting sick, so I came to check on you. If I interrupted something I can go.”

 

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m sorry,” Dahyun replied.

 

"What are you sorry for?" Nayeon walks into the room and pushes herself up to sit on the sink counter.

 

"I..." Dahyun looked around the room, pulling anxiously at her shirt. She didn’t have a good answer. "I don't know. I just felt like I needed to apologize."

 

"You were talking to the baby, weren't you?" Nayeon asked, and Dahyun is amazed how Nayeon says this like it’s no big deal.

 

Dahyun nods softly, somewhere between embarrassed and ashamed.

 

"You do know that it's okay for you to be okay with this, right?" Nayeon said, picking up on the younger girls timid actions and trying to reassure her.

 

Dahyun feels tears welling up in her eyes.

 

Stupid hormones.

 

"It's so strange," Dahyun’s furrowed her dark brows as she tried her best to answer while maintaining composure, "I've processed a lot of my feelings about what happened. Therapy has helped with that for sure. But this is so confusing. I hate what happened. I hate him and I hate what he did to me, and for so long now I wished that it never happened…" Dahyun bit her lip anxiously, still burning from the Listerine. "But as much as I feel those things about that, I think about what's happening now and I don't feel angry about this. I don't wish this wasn't happening. I feel like I should be upset but I'm just...not. Because apart from how I got pregnant, he has nothing to do with this. I don't feel sad about this. I mean I'm scared yeah, but I'm actually..." Dahyun trails off, unable to finish the rest of her thought.

 

“Happy?” Nayeon inquired, filling in the blanks.

 

"I am," Dahyun can’t hold back any longer, and salty tears are now freely flowing down her cheeks as she nods enthusiastically. "And I feel so guilty for being happy about this, unnie."

 

Nayeon hops down off of the counter and pulls Dahyun into a bear hug.

 

"You don't have to feel guilty for being happy. You're having a baby Dahyun-ah. Your baby. That can be a happy thing if you want it to be."

 

Dahyun buries her face in Nayeon's shoulder, sobs escaping as Nayeon runs a hand up and down her back.

 

“You guys aren’t mad at me for keeping the baby?”

 

Nayeon pulls away, making sure to make eye contact with Dahyun as she replies, holding the younger girl’s face in her hands. "Absolutely not. Why would you ever think that?"

 

"I don't know. I just don't want to disappoint you all. I know this was never our plan. And I just couldn't stand to think you guys were disappointed in me, or that you guys wouldn't want the baby because of—"

 

Nayeon puts a finger over Dahyun's lips, stopping her from spiraling further. "Plans change.” She replies, a toothy grin stretching across her face, “But we could never dream of being upset at you for this, Dahyunie. It’s all gonna be okay."

 

Dahyun smiles, wrapping her arms around Nayeon again.

 

“Besides,” Nayeon pulls away from the embrace. “You know how much we all love babies, and those are just random babies. This is your baby,” Nayeon stretched her hand gently across Dahyun’s still flat stomach. “We are going to love this little bean so much.”

 

Dahyun placed her hands on top of Nayeon’s, linking eyes with her. She didn’t have to say anything, but Nayeon understood.

 

"Come on, let's go get some breakfast…” Nayeon turns to walk out of the room, "If food is safe to mention now."

 

"I already got sick, food is fine for now." Dahyun chuckled.

 

Dahyun walked out of the room, hand in hand with Nayeon, and for the moment, the future seemed a little less scary.