~ 2 Days Old ~

 

Life had changed so much in the past 48 hours that Dahyun honestly hadn't had a chance to let it all hit her yet. The only thing that she knew was that she was absolutely enamored, head over heels in love with this little person she had made. 

 

Tiny squeaking cries fill the room, pulling Dahyun from her thoughts. She walked over and picked up the girl from her bassinet, holding her close to her chest as she sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. 

 

Haeun instinctively grabbed a fistful of her mother's hair as she began to try and nurse. 

 

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry," Dahyun cooed, "You are just a hangry little dubu, aren't you?"

 

The baby's cries softened and finally ceased, content at her mother's . 

 

"How about you, eomma?" Nayeon asked. 

 

The oldest member hadn't left Dahyun's side since she had given birth. Even when Dahyun's parents had made it to the hospital the day after Haeun was born and offered to release her of duty, Nayeon still refused to leave her sister's side, insisting on keeping watch over her.

 

("You know you can go home and sleep in a real bed? We'll keep an eye on them." Her parents had said, watching as Nayeon cuddled up in the uncomfortable—and ugly—maroon-colored recliner in the corner of the hospital room.

 

"That's okay. I promised her I would stay, so I'm staying."

 

"We're glad she has you, Nayeon. All of you.")

 

"Jihyo just put on some more seaweed soup for you, if you want some. You need to keep up your energy." Nayeon said, leaning on the doorframe. 

 

"What I  need  is a bowl of ramyun the size of my head." Dahyun chuckled softly, trying not to disturb the little pink bundle falling asleep in her arms. "But seaweed soup doesn't sound terrible." 

 

Nayeon smiled and nodded, walking to the kitchen to retrieve the soup for the younger member. 

 

Nayeon was a naturally protective unnie, so she really didn't mind taking care of Dahyun while Dahyun took care of their newest little member. 

 

"You know, you really don't have to keep watch over us like this, unnie." Dahyun said as Nayeon entered the room, a cup of warm soup in hand. 

 

"I know I don't  have  to," Nayeon replied, sitting the cup of soup down on the end table beside Dahyun, "But we all want to help. However we can. Even if we are just making sure that  you  are okay." 

 

Haeun stirred in her mother's arms as Dahyun switched sides the girl nursed from. 

 

"Shh...eomma's got you. Just go back to sleep." Dahyun cooed gently. 

 

"It's still so hard to believe you are someone's eomma," Nayeon said. "You're a natural though." 

 

"I know, it's crazy," Dahyun replied, her eyes unmoving from the girl in her arms, "She is pretty low maintenance though.  I feed her. I change her. She sleeps. Repeat."

 

"I'm serious though. You look like a pro." 

 

Dahyun chuckled slightly. "Maternal instincts I guess." 

 

"Just remember, if there is anything at all you need, just let me know and one of us can do it for you." 

 

Dahyun smiled, looking up from her daughter and linking eyes with her eldest unnie, "Then you know I wasn't kidding about the ramyun, right?"

…

 

~ 3 Days Old ~

 

It was just before sunrise when Dahyun woke up in a panic, unable to feel the soft weight of Haeun asleep on her chest. She found the bassinet empty beside her, so she stumbled out of bed, put on her horn-rimmed glasses and hurried around the dorm. 

 

To her relief, she saw Jeongyeon rocking Haeun softly in the dimly lit living room. 

 

"She was fussy. I just changed her, and I couldn't be much help for feeding her, but I think she just wanted some attention." Jeongyeon said, letting the girl wrap her tiny hand around her finger. "Isn't that right, aga?" 

 

Dahyun had been surprised at just how soft that Jeongyeon had been with her daughter. The older girl was not normally the affectionate type, but her demeanor completely changed around the baby. Jeongyeon looked at the three-day-old girl like she had hung the moon and stars with her chubby little hands.

 

"You can lay back down if you want," Jeongyeon whispered. "I can keep her company 'til you are ready to feed her." 

 

Dahyun nodded, walking over to place a gentle kiss on the soft feathers of hair atop the baby's head before cuddling up on the couch. 

 

"Are you sure you are okay with her, unnie?" Dahyun asked, covering herself up with a blanket. "I don't want you losing sleep because of us."

 

"Yeah," Jeongyeon replied, smiling softly as the tiny girl curled up against her, "I think she just needs some time with her Jeongyeon-imo. Get some rest, because once she's hungry, I'm useless to her."

...

 

~ 4 days old ~

 

Hirai Momo was a nervous wreck, and that was putting it nicely.  

 

Since Dahyun had come home with Haeun from the hospital she had kept her distance, admiring the baby from afar. 

 

"Momo, have you had a chance to hold her yet?" Dahyun asked, noticing Momo's stare from across the room. 

 

“No,” Momo shook her head. “That's okay though. I'm sure she'd rather be held by her eomma." 

 

Dahyun ignored the older member and crossed the room with the baby in her arms. 

 

"She just nursed, I just changed her, and she isn't fussy. This is the perfect time for you to get a chance to hold her, Momo-unnie. Here," Dahyun didn't ask questions, she simply placed the tiny bundle in Momo's arms. "Support her head like this," she helped Momo get comfortable holding the baby, making sure her position was just right. "There. That wasn't so bad was it auntie Momo?" Dahyun said, her voice soft.

 

Momo stood statue-like in the position that Dahyun had put her in. 

 

"Unnie, relax. She's not going to bite you." Dahyun laughed, rubbing Momo's arm reassuringly.  

 

"She's just so small," Momo replied, still stiff as a board. "I don't want to hurt her." 

 

Dahyun smiled softly. "Momo-unnie, she made it safely into this world because of you. If you hadn't have been there to carry us to Nayeon-unnie's car, I would have been all alone when I went into labor. You aren't going to hurt her. I trust you." 

 

The little girl turned her head towards her mother's voice, startling Momo. 

 

"See unnie,  she  isn't scared," Dahyun said, her voice shifting to a higher pitch as she got closer to Haeun. "She's only four days old, how can that be scary?" 

 

Momo relaxed her shoulders, feeling the light weight of the girl in her arms. "Hi there aga, I'm your Momo-Oba." 

 

Haeun blinked her dark monolid eyes up at Momo, making the older girl’s heart completely melt. 

 

"Oh? Do you remember me? We had lots of good talks when you were still in eomma's tummy. You are a very strong kicker." Momo chuckled, trying to comprehend how those strong little kicks came from the same tiny pair of socked feet bundled up in her arms.

 

It was surreal. 

 

"Dahyun-ah, she looks so much like you. She's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen."

 

A few quiet moments passed before Dahyun noticed Haeun squirming slightly in Momo's arms. 

"You want me to take her?" She asked. 

 

"No, that's okay. I think we have some catching up to do." Momo said, her eyes not moving from the little girl. 

...

 

~ 1 week old ~

 

Dahyun was curled up in Sana's bed, trying to rest as much as she could while Haeun slept in the bassinet beside her. 

 

Sana craned her neck to look at the clock, waiting for the of 1am before singing a very quiet version of Happy Birthday to the little sleeping 

 

" Whyareyousinging ?" Dahyun mumbled, half asleep. 

 

"Haeun's officially a week old." 

 

Dahyun opened her eyes, still groggy and smiled at Sana. 

 

"Unnie," Dahyun laughed quietly as to not wake the baby, "go back to sleep. I have to take her to the doctor in the morning for her checkup, and she will be up in about an hour to nurse. We can celebrate in the morning." 

 

Sana was perhaps the most exuberant of the members when it came to Haeun. She loved playing peekaboo, rocking the girl, tickling her little feet and watching her toes curl reflexively—even though at this early age these activities were really only for Sana's own benefit. 

 

Sana had never gotten to be a big sister growing up, but being an auntie to her best friend's daughter was a close second.

...

 

~ 10 days old ~

 

Dahyun had slept for a total of 4 hours across the previous three days. Haeun was hitting a growth spurt, and the tiny girl was not happy about it. 

 

Jihyo was always the leader, so she took charge in making sure that both Dahyun and Haeun were taken care of.

 

From making sure that Dahyun had remembered to eat, to holding Haeun so that Dahyun could shower, to simply keeping the younger member company as she tried her best to rock her fussy daughter to sleep. 

 

"I don't know what else to do," Dahyun said, as tears welled up in her eyes, postpartum hormones in full effect. "I feel like a failure and she hasn't even been here a full two weeks."

 

Jihyo sat beside Dahyun, wrapping her arms around her and the very angry pink bundle in her arms. 

 

"You are doing great. She's just growing. This is just her first big growth spurt outside of her eomma." Jihyo smiled, "I'll go call the pediatrician and see what they recommend." Jihyo said, leaving the room.  

 

After waiting on the phone for 20 minutes, Jihyo returned with a bottle of baby Tylenol in hand,  "They said you can give her..." she trailed off, looking at the younger member. 

 

Dahyun had her eyes closed, fast asleep, still sitting up on the couch, while Haeun was lazily pacify-nursing in her sleep. 

 

Jihyo smiled as she walked over and covered both of them up with a light blanket. 

 

"Sleep tight, you've earned it, Dahyun-ah." 

...

 

~ 2 weeks old ~

 

Dahyun was slowly getting back to her normal self after giving birth two weeks ago. She couldn't count the hours of sleep she had actually gotten since she brought Haeun home, but she didn't mind. 

 

Thankfully, the army of aunties that this girl had been born into had really helped Dahyun in taking care of the girl when she herself was completely drained.

 

"My head is pounding, and I am cramping so bad," Dahyun said, squeezing the bridge of her nose with the hand she wasn't using to hold on to the baby at her . "You know, I really didn't miss having a period these past nine months. Why do hormones have to make you feel like you're dying?"

 

"Why don't you go lay down?" Mina asked, looking to the younger girl with compassion in her eyes.  

 

"I've gotta put her down for a nap and then do some laundry.  Otherwise, I would be asleep already." Dahyun said, adjusting her shirt as she moved the baby to her shoulder. 

 

"Here," Mina walked over, placed a baby rag on her own shoulder, and reached to grab the nearly sleeping girl.  "Let me put her down for her nap. You go get some rest yourself. She needs her eomma at one hundred percent." 

 

"Are you sure, Mina-unnie? I couldn't ask you to do that." Dahyun said, watching as Mina took the little bundle from her arms.

 

"You didn't  ask , I offered. The heating pack is in my room, go grab that and use it while you rest. I've got her." 

 

Dahyun let out a tired and thankful sigh. She stood up and placed a soft kiss on her daughter's head before heading to the bedroom. 

 

"Your silly eomma needs to learn to take care of herself," Mina said softly, sitting down to rock the baby. 

 

The little bundle fell asleep right away as Mina rocked her back and forth, quietly soothing her to sleep with a Japanese lullaby. 

...

 

~ 3 weeks old ~

 

Chaeyoung was the most easygoing of all of Haeun's aunties. She fell so easily into a schedule of spending time with her little niece, that honestly, it didn't seem like there was ever a time when the baby wasn't there. 

 

Dahyun entered the bedroom—drying her hair with a towel, post-shower—to see Chaeyoung sitting at her art table, drawing with one hand and holding the baby steady against her chest with the other. 

 

"She's been out for about five minutes. She fell asleep while I was sketching." Chaeyoung whispered, trying not to wake the girl. 

 

"Maybe she got bored," Dahyun whispered, teasing her younger sister. "You want me to take her?" 

 

"No, she's fine, unnie. I don't want her to wake up fussy anyways. Go have some time to yourself.  I'll let you know if she wakes up." Chaeyoung said, looking down at the picture she was sketching. 

 

Dahyun was probably most surprised at how good Chaeyoung was with Haeun. The normally exuberant strawberry princess was calm and collected as she held the 3 week old girl. 

 

Her daughter truly fit right in with the middle member of School Meal Club.

...

 

~ 30 days old ~

 

It was late one Sunday night when Dahyun was awakened by the quiet sobs of her youngest sister. 

 

Dahyun turned to see Tzuyu, sitting up in bed beside her, her eyes not moving from the sleeping bundle in the bassinet beside of the bed. 

 

"Tzuyu, what's wrong?" Dahyun asked, sitting up and turning on the small lamp beside her. "Is she up?"

 

"No, no she's fine. I didn't mean to wake you up." Tzuyu whispered, wiping her eyes.

 

"What's wrong Chewy?" Dahyun asked, resting her hand on the younger girl’s leg. 

 

"Nothing. Not really. I was just thinking," Tzuyu said, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you.  Both of you . You must have been so scared those first few months after you found out about her." 

 

"I was. But I made it through. And besides, you came around," Dahyun smiled. "You were there for us when it mattered most."

 

"I never even  thought  about what you must have been feeling. I spent so long being angry. At myself. At God. At  her ," Tzuyu nods towards the sleeping baby. "I was heartbroken that she even existed. But look at her. She's just so perfect, unnie." 

 

Dahyun wiped Tzuyu's tears. 

 

"I spent so much time thinking about how I felt, how much I didn't want her to exist, that I never stopped to realize just how much I was going to love her." Tzuyu said, another quiet sob escaping. "I love her so much." 

 

Dahyun reached her arms around the taller girl, bringing her close and embracing her. 

 

"I know, Tzuyu-yah. She loves you too." Dahyun ran her hand across the younger girl's cheek. "We both do. We're family, remember? We're School Lunch Team until we die." 

 

They both sat in silence for around half an hour before Haeun began stirring awake. 

 

"She's hungry," Dahyun said, nodding towards her daughter. "And you need to get some sleep. You have a work schedule in the morning." 

 

Tzuyu picked up the younger girl and placed a kiss on her soft pink cheek before handing her to Dahyun. 

 

"Night Tzuyu-imo," Dahyun said, waving Haeun’s tiny hand at Tzuyu. "Sleep tight." 

 

"Goodnight unnie. Goodnight aga." 

...

 

~ 8 weeks old ~

 

"Who's Haeun-ah's favorite auntie?" Sana sing-songs to the content baby, who is currently laying in her lap. "Sana-Oba? I think so." She nods, smiling at the girl. "Haeun-ah is Sana-Oba's favorite girl. Yes, she is." 

 

Two milk chocolate monolid eyes blink curiously back at Sana, a tiny smile stretching across the little girl's face. 

 

Sana gasps, shocked at the adorable sight. 

 

"Did you just smile at me?" Sana smiles brightly towards the girl. 

 

Dahyun enters the room, happy to be back home after a two hour long session of songwriting with Chaeyoung in the downstairs office. 

 

"Dahyun-ah, you missed it," Sana says, elated. "She smiled at me!" She exclaims. 

 

Dahyun grins, walking over and sitting on the floor beside of Sana. 

 

"Kim Haeun," Dahyun starts in a mocking stern tone, as she looks over to her daughter, "did you smile at Sana-Oba when eomma wasn't here to see it?" 

 

A big gummy smile crossed the baby's face as soon as she recognized Dahyun's voice.

 

"There's eomma's smiley girl," Dahyun exclaims, picking up the girl from Sana's lap. Dahyun truly had missed the girl for every second of the two hours she was gone.

 

"She grinned at me," Sana says, "but her smile was nowhere near as big as it was when she heard you." 

 

Dahyun smiled, not looking away from the girl in her arms. "Well of course. Sana-Oba you are fun to play with when I need time with my aunties, but only eomma can fill up my hungry tummy." She says, pretending to speak for Haeun. 

 

Sana smiled. "She is already getting too big. Today was her first smile, before we know she will be taking her first steps, saying her first words, having her first boyfriend..." 

 

Haeun began quickly and happily nursing at her mother's as Dahyun chuckled her response. "Slow down unnie. She's eight weeks old, not eighteen years old." 

 

"I know, but time is already flying," Sana replied. 

 

Dahyun wanted to say something in rebuttal, but Sana wasn't wrong. In the two months since she was born, the girl had already changed so much. 

 

Time truly was flying. 

...

 

~ 14 weeks old ~ 

 

The nine members were diligently practicing in the dance studio, their center stage on the practice room floor marked by the happy baby, content in her carrier.

 

Nayeon's bad leg had been acting up, so somewhere in the middle of the routine, she fell on the floor—right in front of the baby—and immediately burst into laughter at her own mishap. The other eight members joined in as well, Nayeon's laugh a contagion in the room. 

 

Jeongyeon however, stopped when she heard a tiny but somehow familiar giggle. 

 

"Nabongs, fall down again." Jeongyeon urged, hoping to confirm her suspicion.

 

"Eh?" Nayeon asked, confused. 

 

"Trust me," Jeongyeon continued. "Do it again." 

 

Rolling her eyes, Nayeon obliged, throwing herself on the floor. 

 

The sound of a small chuckle filled the room. 

 

Wide smiles crossed all of the member's faces. 

 

"Haeun-ah," Dahyun walked to the middle of the room and sat directly in front of the carrier. Haeun stared back at her mother, her dark brown eyes lighting up as she recognized Dahyun's face. "Did silly Nayeon-imo make you laugh?" 

 

Jeongyeon chuckles, nudging Nayeon with her shoulder, "if she thinks clumsiness is funny she was born into the right family." 

...

 

~ 3 months old ~ 

 

It was late on a chilly Thursday in December when Nayeon finds Dahyun, sitting on the bed, rocking Haeun back and forth as she engaged in an emotional one-sided conversation.  

 

"...Eomma didn't know it yet, but you were already growing inside of me. I was so broken after what happened...it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I didn't know how I would ever be okay again...but then I found out about  you ," Dahyun smiles down at the little bundle, who is snoring softly in her arms. "And you are the  best  thing that ever happened to me. No matter what." 

 

Dahyun looks out the window, watching the snow pile up outside, the flakes sticking to the cold ground below. 

 

"I loved you from the second I knew about you, aga." 

 

Nayeon quietly slipped into the room, making her presence known to Dahyun, but hoping not to wake the sleeping girl in her arms. 

 

Nayeon sat on the bed, putting a comforting hand on Dahyun's thigh. 

 

"It was today, wasn't it?" Nayeon whispers. 

 

"It was a year ago today," Dahyun confirms Nayeon's assumption, wiping a tear with her free hand. "I didn't realize at first, but then Momo mentioned how many days were left in the year, and I remembered. "

 

"Are you okay?" 

 

Dahyun pauses before answering.  "I'm okay. It's not something I like to think about, but I can't pretend it didn't happen either. I just worry about the future." 

 

A puzzled look crossed Nayeon's face, but before she could ask the question, Dahyun already began to respond. 

 

"One day she's gonna have questions. She's going to want to know why the other little kids have a daddy and she doesn't. I can tell her now because I know she won't remember..." Dahyun breathes in deeply before continuing. "...But how am I going to look at this little face and tell her that the only reason she exists is because I was ?" 

 

The times when Dahyun mentioned what happened to her by name were far and few in between, so Nayeon knew it must have been heavy on her mind for her to say it now.

 

"When that day comes," Nayeon wraps her arms around the younger girl. "She will have eight aunties who will tell her all about how her eomma is the bravest person ever. How her eomma  never once  got mad at her because of how she was conceived. How her eomma loved her instantly, even though she was scared to death. I'll tell her how I watched you count her little fingers and toes  at least  a hundred times in the hospital because you just couldn't believe how perfect she was. And then, eventually, we'll tell her the truth in the best way she'll understand. That she doesn't have a father, but she has an eomma that loves her more than anyone else ever could." 

 

Haeun stirs against Dahyun's chest, adding an exclamation point to Nayeon's words. 

 

"She's the best thing I ever did, unnie." Dahyun gives Nayeon a teary smile. 

 

Nayeon smiles brightly, gently nudging Dahyun's arm. "She is pretty amazing." 

 

~ 4 months old ~ 

 

All 9 members of the group were in the living room of their apartment, chatting amongst themselves while trying to decide what to watch on television. 

 

Dahyun was rocking Haeun to sleep in her arms, the girl now well-fed and content for the night. 

 

"She is getting to where she sleeps through the night pretty much isn't she?" Jihyo asked.

 

Dahyun nodded in affirmation. "Mostly. She wakes up to nurse at about three o'clock, but then she is out like a light until morning. Sometimes she just won't sleep at all unless she's being held though." 

 

"I think you can blame Mina-unnie for that." Chaeyoung chimed in, throwing the older girl under the proverbial bus. "She never puts her down for her nap. She just holds her."

 

"Hey," Mina defends herself, "she is only gonna be this small once. One day she'll get tired of all of our cuddles, so I'm going to cherish every second." 

 

This answer seemed to deflate Chaeyoung slightly.  "Well I was just trying to pick on you, but now I'm just getting emotional." 

 

" Aniya ," Sana said, shaking her head. "If she is as cuddly as the rest of us she'll never get tired of it." 

 

Dahyun smiled, watching as the little girl squirmed in her arms, rubbing her face with her tiny hands. "I just wish time would slow down." 

 

"Just think," Momo speaks up, looking up from her cell phone. "Soon she'll start doing more than just sleeping and eating. We can teach her to walk and talk. She's going to be so much more fun." 

 

This thought makes all nine girls smile. The best days truly were ahead. 

...

 

~ 5 months old ~ 

 

Jihyo was sprawled out on the floor, face to face with her tiny niece, who was at this moment very unhappy to be laying on her stomach. 

 

"I know, tummy time is no fun," Jihyo cooed, trying to appease the angry baby. "But you are getting great practice at holding your head up. We just have to stay like this for a few more minutes, and then Jihyo-imo will give you cuddles, okay?" 

 

The girl furrowed her tiny brow in frustration.  

 

Jihyo let a small chuckle escape at just how much Haeun resembled her mother in this moment. 

 

"She's mad at you isn't she?" Dahyun asked, walking into the room, a tall glass of chocolate milk in hand. 

 

Haeun heard her mother's voice and turned as quickly as she could towards it. This, of course, caused the girl to roll over on to her back.

 

"Did you see that?" Jihyo exclaimed. 

 

Dahyun set down her drink and crossed the room. "I did. Eomma has a little rolly polly now, huh?" She raised the pitch of her voice as she stood directly over Haeun. 

 

Haeun's chubby little hands anxiously reached upward, begging to be picked up by her mother. 

 

Unable to resist, Dahyun obliged. 

 

" Spoiled ." Jihyo chuckled, getting out of the floor. 

 

"Hey, I'm not the only person in this house that spoils her." Dahyun laughed, playfully blowing raspberries on the tiny baby fingers that were currently being shoved into . 

 

"True," Jihyo replied, running her hand along the soft feathers of dark hair on the girl's head. "She's easy to spoil though. She's just too precious." 

 

Dahyun smiled, raising her eyebrows in an exaggerated motion. "She gets it from me." 

...

 

~ 6 months old ~ 

 

"She's not gonna like it," Dahyun laughed, watching as Momo offered a tiny spoonful of pureed avocado to the baby sitting in Dahyun's lap. 

 

"Eh?" Momo asked, almost offended at the thought. "Who doesn't like avocado?" She spooned the food into the baby's mouth, watching anxiously for the result. 

 

Haeun sat in thought for a brief second, before promptly spitting out the mashed avocado, making a mess from her chin to her bib. 

 

"Told you." Dahyun chuckled, cleaning the girl off with a baby wipe. "Since I'm feeding her, the pediatrician said she might be a little picky when it comes to starting real food. She's just now six months old though, so she has plenty of time to get solids introduced to her diet."

 

"But how did you know she wouldn't like it?" Momo asked, puzzled at Dahyun's foresight. 

 

"I just knew. Eomma's intuition," Dahyun smiled, letting Momo stare in awe for a minute before quickly adding. "I'm totally kidding. I tried the avocado with her yesterday and she hated it." 

...

 

~ 7 months old ~

 

It was early one Wednesday morning when Jihyo found Dahyun on the floor of the bathroom, the shower running with hot water, causing the room to steam up. 

 

"Dahyun, is everything okay?" Jihyo whispered, shutting the door behind her as she came in.

 

Dahyun shushed Jihyo, trying not to wake the baby in her arms. "She's so congested." Dahyun looked down at the girl, who was thankfully still asleep. "She just fell back asleep about an hour ago. She was hungry, but she was having trouble nursing because she couldn't breathe through her little nose, and that just made her angry." 

 

Jihyo came and sat down beside Dahyun on the floor.

 

"I called the emergency room and they said to try steam, and that it was probably just from her bottom teeth coming in." Dahyun sighed, wishing she could do something to help her daughter feel better. "I'm still going to take her to the doctor once the sun comes up. Just to be sure."

 

Haeun stirred against Dahyun's chest, a soft whine escaping from her tiny mouth. 

 

"Shh, it's okay baby girl," Dahyun traced a finger lightly over the bridge of Haeun's nose, trying to calm her. "Eomma's right here." 

 

It seemed like yesterday that Jihyo had found Dahyun on the shower floor, a broken shell of who she was.

 

Now she was with Dahyun in the same bathroom, watching the younger girl take care of her daughter. 

 

It was strange to think about how much their lives had changed in such a short time. 

...

 

~ 8 months old ~ 

 

Im Nayeon loved babies. This was a fact everyone knew. However, her overall love for children was somehow eclipsed by her adoration of her little niece. Nayeon treated Haeun like she was the sun that warmed the earth. Currently, that little sun was frustrating Nayeon however, as she tried to coax her into crawling towards her. 

 

"Come on Haeun-ah. Come see Nayeon-imo." Nayeon sat in front of the girl, just out of reach. 

 

Haeun happily babbled nonsensical noises, giggling at Nayeon. 

 

"What? It's not funny. I'm trying to help you learn how to crawl here. Come on." Nayeon patted the ground, making an exaggerated crawling motion, much to the amusement of her niece. 

 

The little girl giggled again, her chuckle a near replica of her mother's laugh. 

 

"She thinks you're playing with her, unnie." Dahyun laughed, sitting down on the couch behind Nayeon. "Nayeon-imo is funny isn't she, baby?" Dahyun smiled at Haeun, the little girl's face lighting up at the attention. 

 

"She is a little ham is what she is," Nayeon said, sitting up, frustrated. 

 

"Does that surprise you at all?" Dahyun laughed, turning on the television set. 

 

A music video from their last comeback happened to be playing.

 

"Oh I can't watch this," Dahyun said, covering her eyes in embarrassment. "Somehow even my face looked pregnant. I don't know how they thought they were fooling anyone with just using close up shots." 

 

"How far along were you when we filmed this?" Nayeon scooped Haeun off of the ground and sat her between her legs, turning to watch the television.  

 

"Seven months. I was determined to do the dancing too, but they thought it would be too controversial. So instead I got these," Dahyun gestured to the closeup shot of her face on the screen as her rap breakdown began. 

 

Excited by the sound of her mother's voice, Haeun crawled from her position sitting against Nayeon, and went forward towards the TV. 

 

"Did you see that?!" Nayeon squealed, scaring even herself. 

 

Dahyun smiled from ear to ear, watching as Haeun sat entranced by her mother's face on the television.  "I guess she just needed the proper motivation."

...

 

~ 9 months old ~ 

 

It was a quiet night in the condominium, the members were all tired from a busy day of activities, so most everyone was asleep. 

 

Chaeyoung had just finished washing her face and putting in her retainer when she entered her and Dahyun's bedroom, expecting to see Dahyun fast asleep, enjoying her first night with Haeun sleeping in her own room. 

 

However, what she found was Dahyun sitting up in the bed, the blue glow of the baby monitor reflecting off of her horn-rimmed glasses. 

 

"Can't sleep?" Chaeyoung cuddled up, getting comfortable beside of Dahyun. 

 

"No," Dahyun whispered, her eyes not moving from the screen. 

 

"You miss her don't you?" 

 

Dahyun nodded, smiling sadly. "I'm afraid she's going to get up in the middle of the night and be scared because I'm not there. Or she's going to wake up and want to nurse, and I'm not going to hear her crying. Or—" 

 

"Unnie, slow down." Chaeyoung chuckled, taking the baby monitor from her older sister's hands. "She's gonna be okay and so are you. She's just across the hall, so you shouldn't even need the monitor to be able to hear her if she cries. But she sleeps through the night most of the time anyway, right?" 

 

Dahyun nodded. 

 

"Look," Chaeyoung continued pointing to the little screen, "she's getting lots of much needed rest. Her eomma needs to too, because she's going to wake up hungry and hyper, and you'll need your energy for both. Let's get some sleep." 

 

Dahyun forced a smile as she adjusted her glasses, swinging her legs off of the bed and letting her feet hit the cold hardwood beneath her. 

 

"You're going to go check on her one more time, aren't you?" Chaeyoung smiled, rolling her eyes. 

 

"Just for a few minutes," Dahyun said, walking out of the room and into the nursery. 

 

About fifteen minutes passed before Chaeyoung went to go see what was taking so long. She walked into the nursery to find Dahyun, dead asleep on the floor in front of the crib. Her hand was propped up in between the wooden slats of the crib, and Haeun was firmly grasping her mother's fingers. 

 

Chaeyoung shook her head, smiling. 

 

The next night, the crib was moved back into their bedroom.

...

 

~ 10 months old ~ 

 

"Come on, oh-ma, oh-ma, eomma." Dahyun coached Haeun, laying on the floor in front of her, making exaggerated motions with , trying her best to get the babbling baby to call her by her name. 

 

Haeun laughed, clapped, and giggled in response to Dahyun's attempts. 

 

"Come on, I know you can do it, agi-dubu. You make all kinds of noises, you can say my name." Dahyun leaned forward, grabbing one of Haeun's chubby little hands and using it to motion between the two of them. 

 

"Aga is Haeun-ah," she placed the little hand on the baby's chest, "I'm Eomma," she placed the little hand on her own face. "Now come on trouble maker, just try it for me.  Eomma ."

 

"Joo...wee," a bright smile crossed Haeun's face. 

 

Dahyun sat puzzled for a brief second. She  must  have been hearing things. 

 

"Can you say it for me one more time? Eomma." 

 

"Joowee!" The girl babbled her response cheerfully. 

 

Dahyun heard a muffled laugh from behind her. She turned to see her youngest sister, standing shyly in the doorway, her dimpled smile lighting up the room. 

 

"You've got to be kidding me," Dahyun chuckled, amused and slightly annoyed. 

 

"Sorry," Tzuyu tried her best to hide her own pride in this moment, but it was to no avail as the room was once again filled with the sound of a tiny voice calling out her auntie's name. 

 

"Joowee!" Haeun continued, raising her hands to be picked up. 

 

Tzuyu walked over and picked Haeun up from the floor, blowing raspberries on her tummy, eliciting a cascade of giggles. 

 

"Kim Haeun," Dahyun stood up. "I carry you inside of me for almost nine months, give birth to you, feed you with my own body, and your first word is  Chewy ? If I wasn't so proud, I would be hurt." Dahyun smiled. 

 

Haeun happily poked her little fingers into Tzuyu's dimples, giggling when Tzuyu would suddenly turn and grab her fingers with .

 

"Don't be upset, unnie," Tzuyu said, "she's getting close to being able to say your name. Watch this. 'Eunie, where's eomma?" 

 

Haeun pointed toward Dahyun with her whole hand, "eob...ababba" she babbled her best attempt at 'eomma', and Dahyun's eyes lit up.

 

"Alright, where's Haeun?" 

 

Haeun put her hand over her face, smiling.

 

"Okay, now where's Chewy-imo?" 

 

"Joowee!" The girl happily grabbed Tzuyu's face with both hands. 

 

"She started saying it yesterday," Tzuyu said shyly. "Don't be mad. I was trying to get her to say Eomma first." 

 

Dahyun smiled, her eyes teary. "How could I be mad, Chewy? My baby just said her first words."

 

"Soon we won't be able to get her to shut up." Tzuyu laughed, her own eyes misty. 

 

"I know," Dahyun's smile widened. "I can't wait."

...

 

~ 11 months old ~ 

 

If there was one thing that was consistently a thorn in Dahyun's side, it was the media. 

 

They would get bored of her for a few months, then run out of slander against other idols and turn back toward her. She was used to it at this point. 

 

But it was easier when it was just about her. 

 

Today's trending topics hit a nerve. 

 

Twice  member  secret love child

 

Dahyun baby secret adoption

 

Is Twice's Dahyun ashamed to have a child?

 

Dahyun's baby daddy from another idol group? 

 

Dahyun tossed her phone to the other side of the room, watching as it landed softly on the couch. Honestly, at that moment she wouldn't have minded if it broke, except for the 500 plus pictures of Haeun she had saved on it. 

 

Ashamed .

 

Dahyun felt her heart breaking at the very accusation of that.

 

Haeun's giggle pulled Dahyun from her thoughts, as she looked to see her daughter cruising along different surfaces in the room. She would be walking in no time, and Dahyun felt exhausted at just the thought of chasing around the energetic baby tofu.  

 

"Meeba!" Haeun called out as Mina walked into the room. She hadn't quite gotten the hang of all of her aunties names, and some of them sometimes came out a little scrambled.

 

"There's my aga!" Mina reached down to scoop the girl up in her arms. "How's Mina-oba's favorite girl? Are you getting into trouble?" 

 

"Always," Dahyun replied, forcing a smile. 

 

"Are you okay?" Mina asked, concern in her voice. 

 

"You saw we were trending didn't you?" 

 

A question for a question. 

 

Mina nodded, putting Haeun back on the floor and walking to sit beside of Dahyun.

 

"You just have to ignore them. It's always something with them." 

 

"I know." Dahyun sighed. "I just feel like I should say  something , you know? I'm not ashamed of her, and I haven't been trying to hide her. I've been trying to  protect  her. But I guess that hasn't worked." 

 

"It's not your obligation to let them into her life, or yours for that matter. You're doing great with her." 

 

Dahyun nodded in agreement, but she still felt a lingering heaviness in her heart. 

...

 

Later that night, Dahyun was scrolling through pictures on her phone as Haeun snored lightly against her chest. 

 

Sana walked into the room, getting into the bed and cuddling up against Dahyun. 

 

"I saw you posted on Instagram," Sana whispered. 

 

Dahyun had posted a picture of the back of Haeun's head, while the girl was asleep on her shoulder. She simply wrote the caption, "Eomma's girl." 

 

"I don't know if I'll ever share our story with them, Sana," she began, running a comforting hand up and down Haeun's back. "Not all of it at least. But I don't want anyone thinking I'm ashamed of her, because I'm not. I got pregnant, yes. Was it a complete and total shock? Yes. Am I ashamed that I'm a single mom? Not for a second. Whatever happened to me, gave me her. And while I might not ever be ready to talk about what happened publically, I'll never be ashamed of her." 

 

Sana laid her head on Dahyun's free shoulder and wrapped her arms around the younger girl, "You're a good eomma, Dahyunie."

... 

 

~ 12 months old ~

 

It's happens on a bright and sunny day in the middle of August. 

 

Eight of the members were happily gathered in the living room, Dahyun holding Haeun in her lap, trying her best to keep the 12-month-old still. 

 

The attention of the room was captured as Jeongyeon walked in the room, birthday cake in hand, candles burning brightly. The nine members joined in, singing Happy Birthday to the tiniest and newest member of the group. 

 

Dahyun blew out the candles, as Haeun was still too young, and the room filled with cheers. Haeun started giggling and clapping her chubby little hands together gleefully. 

 

The group showered the one-year-old girl with gifts, though at her still young age she was more interested in the crinkling sounds of the noisy wrapping paper. 

 

Dahyun smiled from ear to ear as she fed Haeun her first bite of cake frosting. The little girl's eyes lit up brightly, pleasantly surprised at the sweet flavor. 

 

Momo and Sana, the playful aunties, proceeded to sit a large piece of cake in front of the girl, laughing to the point of tears as she smashed the cake between her fingers and all over her face until her inky feathers of hair were white and pink with sugary frosting. 

 

"I hope you guys know you just volunteered for bathtime duty," Dahyun said, her lips pursed in a tight smile. 

 

The older girls glanced at each other and smiled. 

 

Totally worth it.

 

Later that night, as the festivities ended, Dahyun sat on the couch, nursing a freshly bathed Haeun. 

 

"I can't believe she is a year old," Nayeon said, sitting beside the younger member. 

 

"Me either. In some ways, it doesn't seem real, and in some ways, I can't imagine a time when she wasn't here. Does that make any sense?" 

 

"Completely." Nayeon smiled. "Our episode of Music Bank is on in a few minutes, you want to watch?" 

 

The girls had pre-recorded their segment on the show with the knowledge that it was going to be Haeun's first birthday.

 

Dahyun had felt guilty at first, but the other eight members had insisted that they would much rather be spending this special time with their niece than on a comeback stage. 

 

Haeun had finished nursing and was now clumsily waddling around the living room, while all of the members gathered around to watch the television.

 

To the surprise of no one—except for the nine members—Twice's first comeback in over a year had won first place. 

 

As their song began playing on the show, Haeun waddled towards the television excitedly.  

 

Ending Fairy Dahyun showed up on the screen and the girl called out in excitement. "Eomma!" 

 

"Hey unnie," Chaeyoung nudged Dahyun's shoulder. "You know what just happened don't you?" 

 

Dahyun furrowed her brow in confusion. 

 

"She just saw her eomma perform on TV for the first time." 

 

This statement was enough to make Dahyun lose the smallest piece of composure she had left. 

 

Through teary eyes she watched her daughter clapping and babbling at the television while the encore of their comeback played. 

 

Once the program ended, they all settled down for the night. 

 

Haeun was snuggled up against Dahyun's chest, content and sleepy after her nighttime feed. 

 

The little girl looked up at Dahyun, her dark chocolate monolid eyes heavy with sleep. " Eum-ag ?" She mumbled, using a word Dahyun was not aware that the girl had even learned yet. 

 

(She shouldn't have been surprised that one of the first words her daughter would learn on her own would be the word for music.)

 

Dahyun obliged, softly singing a lullaby to the girl in her arms. 

 

It wasn't that long ago she was in this same spot, seven months into her pregnancy, singing the same lullaby to Haeun in hopes that she would stop kicking and let her sleep. 

 

Tzuyu opened the door slowly and walked into the room, wordlessly slipping into the bed beside of Dahyun.

 

After Dahyun was sure the girl was asleep, she put Haeun in her crib and walked back to bed. 

 

"Unnie," Tzuyu whispered half asleep, cuddling up against her older sister. "In case I forget to say, you are a really great eomma. I'm glad we have Haeun-ah." 

 

"Thanks," Dahyun smiled, "I'm glad we have her too, Tzuyu-ah." She placed a small kiss on Tzuyu's forehead before closing her eyes and drifting to sleep. 

 

Dahyun wasn't sure if this was ever the path she would have chosen for her life, but she wouldn't trade her strange little family for the world. 

...