Time carried on as such: Kai would work for seven days, visit Kyungsoo for three, work for seven more, and visit for another three. It began to take a toll, though Kyungsoo would go on to act as if it didn't. He would say he understood, that this was just the way things had to be for now, and smile at him. Kai knew better than to believe any of that. It was getting difficult for him, so how could the same not be said for Kyungsoo? Maybe his feelings for him weren't as strong as he claimed. Perhaps, he had his mind set on one thing only. The thought crossed his mind a lot.

"Maybe he's just better at hiding his feelings," Moonkyu suggested one day as they made their way through Seattle. They both had souls to pick up there but with a little time to spare. "Maybe he doesn't want to burden you with his feelings because he can't change your circumstances."

"I'm already burdened, though. And he thinks he's good at hiding, but he isn't. I can feel it. In the atmosphere, in the energy around him. It's like that incurable pain you feel when there is tragic passing but worse because it's someone you love."

Moonkyu nodded in understanding. He had his fair share of tragic passings, as all Angels of Death did. None of them really prepared you for the next one, though; they all hurt the same.

"I don't know if this is a crazy suggestion, but maybe tell him the whole truth." Kai stopped instantly and shot the younger angel a look of horror. "Don't look at me like that. You have to tell him at some point. You can't keep telling the same lies forever."

"He'll never believe me," Kai said, letting his head fall as he began walking again. He had convinced himself of this. Sure, there were mortals who believed in or spoke of angels in theory, but to meet one in real life was a different story, an unbelievable one to most; one that could make you lose all trust in someone; one that could make you stop loving someone. "And that will make him even sadder a-and he'll think I'm making stories up because I don't want to be with him when that's all I really want to do."

"A valid concern, but you can't know that for sure. I'm sure there's a way to tell him that he'll understand. And if he trusts you now, he'll know there is no reason you'd lie to him." 

Kyungsoo did trust him, but that didn't calm his anxiety, it added to it. 

"What's the worst that can happen?" Moonkyu shrugged. "He doesn't believe you, dumps you, and then you come back to work. It's better to find out if there's a possibility of having a mortal life with him now than taking a risk later without him knowing the truth. He might get suspicious if you all of a sudden 'quit' your job for him."

"I suppose that makes sense," Kai said. He sighed and told himself he would do it. He'd tell him. He would tell him everything, for the sake of their relationship, whatever it became after he knew the truth. "I'll tell him. I just hope he trusts me enough to believe me."

"I'm sure he will," Moonkyu said, offering a comforting smile. "I've never seen him, but he seems like a kind person. A person who has a lot of love for you."

Kai smiled and looked away. "Not as much as I have for him," he said, mostly to himself, but Moonkyu heard and smiled as well. 

*********

He surprised him two days later, though it wasn't much of a shock since Kyungsoo said he had been counting the days until he could see him again. This made Kai's heart warm, yet at the same time, even more fearful.

"We finally hired someone new at the café, so I was able to take a few days off, which means we have more time before you have to go back. I was looking up things we could do, but then I realized it would probably be better to ask you what you wanted to do, you know, since you kind of are my guest and doing otherwise would be kind of inconsiderate."

He was happy he was here; he could tell by the way he shuffled around the apartment so sprightly, picking up things here and there and wearing a pair of fluffy penguin socks since his feet got so easily cold. Kai smiled and again wished he could take a snap shot of this moment and hold it in his memory forever. Was it possible to feel this strongly about someone? Was it the kind of feeling that could spark a fire that would burn eternally?

Kyungsoo was in the kitchen now, washing a few dishes in the sink as the angel approached him from behind. He wrapped his arms around him and took in the man's scent: a warm jasmine with just a hint of cinnamon he supposed he picked up from work. The elder smiled and let the cup he was holding fall back into the water-filled sink, thinking he could worry about the dishes later. He had more important things to focus on. He leaned back into Kai and let go of a content breath, allowing his eyelids to drape over his eyes.

"I missed this," he whispered, his voice soft now. He laid his hands atop of Kai's bigger ones. "I miss you."

"I know you do. I miss you, too." Anxiety set in again as the angel replied; he knew there was no time like the present to come clean. "I'm sorry it has to be like this. I know it may not seem like it all the time, but if I could be here with you all time, I would."

"I know you would. I've never doubted your intentions, Kai."

"It's not that I think you have the wrong idea of my intentions," he began in response. He exhaled; this was it. He was going to speak the hardest words he ever recalled having to speak. He disconnected from the elder, causing him to turn around and face him. "Kyungsoo, there's something I have to tell you. You may not believe me at first, but I assure you I'm not making anything up."

Kyungsoo's eyebrows raised for a brief second and then furrowed. "That sounds ominous..." he said. "What's going on?"

Kai let out another breath, one that made him shutter more than the others. "The world seems small, but it's actually big and there's a lot out there that people don't necessarily know about or know about in the way it actually is. Y-You know, like they think it's one way, but it's actually a different way."

"I didn't know I was watching a space documentary." Kyungsoo chuckled. "What are you talking about, Kai?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't intend for this to be so confusing." Kai ran a hand through his hair, feeling the pressure he hadn't felt since the first time he helped a soul pass on.

"Well, if you use Korean I can actually understand, it won't be. Just tell me. I'm listening." Kyungsoo gently glided his fingers down the angel's cheek, making his eyes fall shut for only a moment. Kai knew he could tell Kyungsoo anything, so why was he so scared? Oh, that's right, because this information literally defined what their relationship would be like from here on--if they even had one after this.

"You know how some people believe in angels?" he asked. He figured the best way to go about this would to just come out with it.

"Hm." Kyungsoo nodded. "I used to have a pet fish when I was younger and when it died, my mom said it would be my guardian angel. Even back then, the idea of a fish watching over me was kind of odd."

Kai laughed, but only for a moment. "Well, they do exist. Angels, I mean. Not just the guardian class, there are a lot more and I'm o-one of them." The elder stared at him blankly, as if he was still confused. "What I'm saying is, the reason I can't be with you a lot is because I'm an angel, Kyungsoo. I have duties that keep me very busy and some angels would be quite angry to know I'm here right now. They see it as a waste of time, so I'm only allowed to visit for three mortal days at a time."

Kyungsoo was still silent, but his expression changed. He looked annoyed, perhaps, like maybe he couldn't believe this was the excuse he was getting. It could have been disbelief as well, the look that said I want to believe you because it's you but I also can't.

"So, you're an angel and because you're an angel, you can only see for a certain amount of days? That's what you had to tell me?" he finally said. He took a step back now and the panic was setting in. Kai tried to pick up on his energy, but he was so aware of his own fear that he couldn't.

"Yes, a-and I know that sounds crazy, believe me! I've thought of a million different ways I could tell you to make it sound less ridiculous, but..." The elder wasn't looking at him now and he took another step back. "You believe me, don't you? You know I would never lie to you or make something like this up, right?" He was met with more silence; this certainly wasn't playing out as he hoped it would. "Kyungsoo, please say something," he said and as he tried to get closer to him, the elder held his hands up, signaling for him to stop. After another moment, he finally looked at him.

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing with me right now, Kai, but this is ed up. You can't just keep me guessing for almost two and a half years and then show up and say it's because you're an angel. Do you even realize how ridiculously stupid that sounds?"

"Yes, I do, but I swear--" He was cut off by Kyungsoo's hand again, the elder shaking his head, which he was doing his best to keep turned away from him.

"I mean, if you're not out or ready to be in a committed relationship with another man yet, you can just tell me that. Hell, you could say you're married and have a whole other life with someone else and that would make sense. But...being an angel? You must really think I'm stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid. I just wanted to be honest with you because I know how frustrating this has been for you," Kai tried to reason. "I thought if you knew the truth at least, you wouldn't feel as worried or think that I was playing games with you." Kyungsoo still wasn't looking at him and his face had become overtaken with a deep frown. Kai sighed hopelessly. There was no reasoning with him and he realized it at that moment. As much as he adored humans, he hated how stubborn and stuck in their own beliefs they were.

"I...I can't do this right now. This is too much," Kyungsoo said. Kai could feel his eyes begin to fill with tears. "I just...I just need to be alone right now."

Kai swallowed the lump in his throat but managed nod his head. "I understand," he said; it was all he could say. Kyungsoo walked over to the front door, grabbing his jacket and keys on the way. He glanced back at the angel for a fleeting moment, just out of the corner of his eye, before exiting the apartment. The sound of the door closing made the angel jump a little.

This confession of the truth didn't play out as Kai hoped it would, not in the slightest. However, this version always lived in the back of his mind as a possibility. He couldn't blame, Kyungsoo, anyway. He reacted the way any normal mortal would, probably a lot calmer than most actually. He could be grateful for that at least.

He didn't really know what to do with himself. Should he leave? The panic was telling him to, that Kyungsoo wouldn't want him anymore, so it was time to give up. Still, he was compelled to stay. At the very least, he reasoned, he could apologize to him for causing him so much pain and confusion. Maybe even try to salvage what was left of their connection too.

So, the angel sat on the couch and decided he would wait until Kyungsoo returned. It was times like this when he supposed he was glad he didn't need sleep.

*********

Kyungsoo felt stupid. All this time, he was worried he was coming on too strong, but no, Kai was just an angel or so he said he was. What he couldn't figure out though was if he was being honest.

Kai wouldn't lie to him; he never had and even from the very start, Kyungsoo felt he could trust him. But an angel? What kind of bull was that? Sure, guys had told him a lot of pathetic excuses as to why they no longer wanted to be with him anymore in the past, but none were as outrageous as that.

By the time he made it halfway around the block, he convinced himself this wasn't reality. He was definitely dreaming. He stopped in his tracks, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. His heart was racing with anger, sadness, everything one can feel when their boyfriend tells him the reason he isn't around a lot is because he's actually an angel. He exhaled a heavy breath and let his head fall toward the ground beneath him. 

If this was a dream, he really just wanted to wake up. 

But still, he couldn't leave things this way. Even if Kai was lying, which he was fairly sure he was, he still deserved to know for sure that there was no way their relationship would go any farther. It was cruel to take Kyungsoo for a fool who believed in angels, but it was even crueler to leave Kai hanging by an invisible thread. So, he turned himself around and started to walk back to the apartment. 

On his way there, he happened to look over and see someone standing in the middle of the street. The sight startled him, but his first instinct was to get the person's attention. 

"Excuse me!" he shouted as he walked closer to the busy road. "You need to move out of the way! There are cars coming!"

The person turned their head to look at him, seemingly unphased by the row of speeding cars headed toward them. Kyungsoo's panic set in some more as the cars got closer, but before he could do anything else, the person disappeared right before his eyes. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. He looked around and no one else seemed to be as disturbed by what he just saw. In fact, it was as if he was the only one who had seen it. And judging by the confused expressions and low whispering from the people around him, he supposed he was. 

He really needed to wake the up. 

*******

Back at the apartment, Kai was beginning to notice the differences between mortal time and angel time. Mortal time seemed to pass so much slower and it was agonizing, especially since he didn't know if he would still have Kyungsoo when he returned-- if he decided to return at all. The longer he waited, the less hopeful he became. Had he really just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him in the name of honesty? Kai was beginning to understand why humans lied so much. 

Eventually, though, the door was quickly opened and Kyungsoo was suddenly there in front of him again, breathing heavily and looking like he had just witnessed something horrible. 

"Did something happen? Are you okay?" the angel asked as he stood up from the couch and began to walk toward him. Kyungsoo didn't answer, instead, he held his hand out as if to tell Kai to stop. So he did. 

A few moments of silence passed before Kyungsoo finally made eye contact with him again. He began to open his mouth as to speak, and Kai was mentally preparing to be cursed at, thrown out, and told to stay away from him. This fear was never confirmed because in the next moment, Kyungsoo had fainted onto the floor.

A/N

When I tell you I have written and re-written this part so many ing times. I had no idea how I wanted the truth to be revealed or what Kyungsoo's should be so I was trying out different scenarios and this is where I ended up. And honestly, I'm too tired to change it right now lol

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this mess of a chapter and I'll be posting another one again soon hopefully! Thanks for reading xoxo