It seemed to Kai more people died in the passing weeks than he had ever witnessed in all his time as an angel. Or maybe that was his mind deceiving him into not thinking about Kyungsoo and how helpless their situation was. Or perhaps his mind wasn't deceiving him at all and he just wanted to believe that more souls needed him so he could avoid seeing Kyungsoo and being reminded about how hopeless they were.

But keeping busy wasn't the hard part; in his profession, there was no shortage of work to be done. The difficult part was not thinking about him, which happened all the time; on his way to and from missions, the rare moments of rest he got, all the times in between and around. This was especially true whenever he visited the man's home country. His almost instinctual urge to go see him, even if it was just peeking into the window like he did back before all this started, seemed to get stronger the closer he was to him.

Kai hated it. Even more, he hated denying it.

Still, that was no excuse for him to sulk and be lazy and Xiumin made sure he knew that. He told him it was a sign it wasn't meant to be and to spare himself the agony and move on. Kai wanted him to be right; he knew he was even. But putting his words into action proved to be harder than anticipated.

It was relieving to see Jonghyun on gate duty when Kai arrived with a soul. The atmosphere always felt a little calmer when he was around, which was most likely why he was assigned to this class. He welcomed the soul and thanked Kai. There was no break for him afterward, though, as he received another calling. Maybe it wasn't his mind at all; maybe humans really were dying more.

He sighed and went off again to collect the next soul.

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Kai finally had a moment to rest, yet he couldn't even seem to close his eyes without seeing him. He sat up and laid his face in his hands, distressed. He questioned why he was even being like this. He could simply explain to Kyungsoo that their relationship could never go beyond the friends label. Surely he would understand. He might be mad, of course, but if there was one thing Kai was good at, it was calming down scared and upset souls.

Just as his confidence began to reach the service, Kai frowned and sank back down. He didn't want to be just friends with him and that's why he was so worked up over this. He wanted to hold Kyungsoo's hand, kiss him, hold him, and show him just how in love with him he was. But how could he help souls if he was too busy fulfilling his own desires? He groaned and laid down. This was definitely not as simple as he wanted to be.

----------

The exhaustion was really taking a toll on him. How many was that? 60? 70? 80? Maybe it was closer to 100. He lost count honestly. Doing this job was his first nature; he was created for this purpose and this purpose only. So, why was he so tired?

"Thank you, Kai," Jonghyun said, his smile kind as always. He wondered if he ever got tired. If he did, he never showed it. Maybe Kai should aim to be more like him. "Are you feeling well?" he asked him next. Kai turned around, surprised. The Angels of Death and the "Welcoming Committee", as the other angels liked to joke, never really had any other interactions besides words of gratitude. "I only ask because I've noticed a change in you lately."

"Ah..." Kai didn't know what to say. He had never been asked such a question simply out of observation. "Yes, I'm fine, hyung. There's just been a lot of death lately it seems. I suppose these are the times having the fewest number of angels is an inconvenience."

Jonghyun chuckled lightly. "It does seem like that, doesn't it?" he replied. Kai nodded. "Perhaps you should consider taking a break."

"You mean going into mortal mode?" This whole interaction was bringing up more and more surprises than Kai could have ever anticipated. He never considered a break, mostly because he didn't think he could. His class of angels never really took breaks because of their high-demand work.

"Yes, I would think that's the only way your class can take breaks." Kai looked away hesitantly. "Don't feel guilty, Kai. Even angels get tired and need time to rest. Besides, you are part of one the most respectable classes. I'm sure they'll be able to go on without you for three days."

Their eyes stayed connected for a while, until Kai turned away again. He knew they could, but that wasn't where his worries laid.

"Just think about it, okay? It hurts seeing a soul as pure as yours look so tortured." Jonghyun's eyes were soft and deep with concern.

"Thank you for your concern, Jonghyun. I will consider it," he said with a smile. The welcoming angel nodded and returned his smile. Kai left just as another soul arrived.

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Keeping his word, Kai thought about it. Hard. He weighed the pros and cons, but each time ended up at a crossroads. Therefore, he broke it down into two sides according to the consequences of each action.

Would it be the end of the world if he took a break, if Earth had one less angel to help souls pass? No.

Would it be the end of the world if he did take a break to spend time with Kyungsoo (where he'd inevitably end up), fell deeper in love with him, and then was faced with the harsh reality of having to choose between him and his duties? Possibly. Especially if he chose him and he ended up regretting it.

But he really had no other choice at this point. He just had to take that chance because if he didn't, he would regret it, too.

So, without telling anyone in fear he would change his mind, Kai left for Korea. When he got there, time paused around him, he stood there for a moment. He questioned what he was doing and if any of the trouble he was putting himself through would be worth it. The pessimist in him wanted to say it wouldn't and that he should just turn back now, but Kai's more optimistic side was telling him he would end up with more remorse if he didn't at least give this situation a chance to go right.

With that, he made his final decision and switched into mortal mode. Time resumed.

It was strange, unfamiliar almost. He hadn't done this since the last he visited Kyungsoo, which felt like so long ago. He didn't know where to go, and looking around at all the people who did know where they were going didn't help him. All he knew was that he had to find Kyungsoo. Then everything would be clear.

Miraculously, Kai found his way to the café and was relieved when he saw the elder man cleaning off tables. The place was empty and it was dark outside now, which led him to believe they were closed. Maybe he could still go in, though. Kyungsoo wouldn't turn him away, would he?

He walked up to the door and raised a shaky hand to the handle, pulling it open. "I'm sorry, but we're closed." Hearing his voice was also weird, but it was still familiar and made Kai feel a sense of peace. He kept walking toward him anyway, letting the door close behind him. "We are open from 7 am to 10 pm every day, so you can come back tom--Kai?" Kyungsoo looked shocked to see him, rightfully. The angel smiled.

"Hi," he said bashfully. "I'm sorry for bothering you. I-I just saw you in here."

He didn't reply for a while. Instead, he just stood there with that same surprised yet hurt expression.

"What--where--w-why are you here?" he finally said, eyebrows furrowed. "I haven't seen or heard from you in weeks."

"I know and I'd like to explain to you why that is...if you'll let me."

"I can't believe this." Kyungsoo huffed and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. That's when Kai noticed how it was almost completely grown back now. "Fine, but you have a lot of explaining to do. I won't go easy on you," he said, his response making Kai burst into a smile.

"I wouldn't want you to," he said. The two exchanged looks for a moment until Kyungsoo exhaled.

"Well, let me just finish cleaning up," he said. "I only have four more tables left."

"Want me to help?" Kai asked. Kyungsoo looked at him again. He could see he was hesitant to say yes and that pained him.

"Sure. You can have this rag." Kyungsoo left the white cloth on the table and went to go grab another one from behind the counter. Cautiously, Kai walked over to the table and picked up where Kyungsoo left off. He just hoped he could do that with him, too.

A/N

I honestly have no more excuses for why I can't update in a timely manner, so I won't even bother lol.

I'll just say thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I start another semester of college soon, but hopefully I can pump out another chapter before then! Much love and until next time XOXO