The trip to Wal-Mart had been completely uneventful. Amber had barely spoken to her. She could understand why Amber might still be angry, but all she wanted was kiss. Amber had kissed and more with all of those other girls, so how would it change anything? She already knew Amber had feelings and Amber already knew she didn’t. All that would change is that their lips had touched and Krystal would...know. 

She couldn’t explain the hard knot in her chest that was making her insist on acting this way. Everytime she thought about Amber having a secret from her for five years, what had been a tiny pinch had formed into a large band of anger around her heart.

Is she just going to ignore me? Krystal wondered, crossing her leg so her ankle brushed against Amber’s calf. 

She scooted in closer and felt Amber tense further. For some reason it made her laugh. How much more could she freeze? She would be a statue soon. 

                                                                                         ___

Amber was angry. It wasn’t often she got this angry with Krystal. How could she just ignore her feelings and keep treating them like they were nothing. It had taken her a lot to be honest, not just about her uality, but her feelings as well. Her feelings had been the hardest to admit. To put herself out there like that and now to be treated as a curiosity? 

“Oh my god!” Krystal laughed, flinging herself even more into Amber’s personal space. “Did  you see that?” she gasped, pointing at the television screen. “That’s completely impossible in real life!” 

When she felt Krystal’s against her arm, Amber finally had enough and rounded on her friend, bringing their faces so close she could feel each breath from the other girl against her lips. 

“You are seriously pushing it,” she ground out, folding her arms across her chest and forcing her eyes to stay on Krystal’s rather than drifting down to her rosy lips. 

“What am I doing?” Krystal asked innocently, the fakest pout Amber had  forming on the lips Amber had sworn with herself not to look at just seconds before. 

Amber snarled. “You know exactly-” 

“So why don’t you just do it!” Krystal challenged, her eyes flashing dangerously, somehow nearly as angry as Amber was. What gave her the right to be angry?

“Our friendship-”

“Can survive this,” Krystal said easily. 

A little too easily in Amber’s opinion. Krystal didn’t have her same feelings. She didn’t understand how Amber felt at all. Not even a little bit. If she did, she wouldn’t be doing this and that hurt almost more than anything else. 

“We’ve been friends for more than ten years,” Krystal argued.  “If you believe one little kiss-”

“It won’t be so little and meaningless to me!” 

“-will break us,” Krystal continued as if she hadn’t heard her. “Then how strong was our friendship anyway?” 

“You just-”

Amber broke off as Krystal  leaned in closer, her pretty face and sweet scent overwhelming Amber. 

“Kiss me,” she whispered. 

The command was so soft, but so powerful. How could Amber resist? She found herself leaning in against her will, and before she knew it, their lips had touched. Warm skin against warm skin. She could have drowned in the feeling of those soft lips if it weren’t for the voice in her head questioning everything Krystal might be feeling. 

So it ended before she could properly feel it. 

Her eyes opened to find Krystal pulling away to focus on the movie they were watching. 

Amber wanted to ask her what Krystal felt, what she thought, how she now felt about her, if anything changed…

She ran nervous hands through her short hair and sipped at her water to keep from saying something stupid. 

She wanted to do it again. She wanted to grab her and kiss her and press her back to the cushions of the couch. She wanted them both to feel the kiss properly in every inch of their bodies. 

She felt Krystal’s head fall against her shoulder and nearly jumped out of her skin, but remained still out of shock. 

“This movie is kind of boring.” 

Amber couldn’t even remember what movie that had on. “Yeah…”

Krystal tilted her head back. Amber was too scared to look down. She swallowed hard and focused on anything else but the girl on her arm. 

“I’m bored.” 

A fingertip traced the inside of Amber’s arm and she tried to give herself the willpower to move away. 

“You want to kiss again?” 

Amber’s brows shot up. She couldn’t be sure she heard what she thought she heard and didn’t want to look too eager. She decided to go the safe route of total and complete confusion. “Uhm...what?” 

Krystal’s shoulder darted against hers in a shrug. “It’s been a while since I kissed someone. It was nice.” 

“Nice?...”

“Yeah. Your lips are firm, but kind of soft. And it wasn’t that awkward.” 

Krystal shifted around and took the glass that Amber had been holding onto with a death grip out of her hand. She placed it on the coffee table then pressed herself back to Amber’s side. 

“I want to know what it’s like.” 

“What what’s like?!” Amber was truly becoming alarmed at this point. It sounded like Krystal might be suggesting...

Krystal put her lips to her neck and Amber’s breath nearly stopped. A hand settled on her waist and pulled her closer. She shivered, releasing a helpless little gasp when a tongue brushed her skin. 

“T-This isn’t a good idea.” 

Krystal tossed one leg over Amber’s knees as she pulled back and looked up at her through her thick, black eyelashes.

“It’s just fun. Come on. You’re the one who’s done this before.” 

She kissed Amber’s chin. 

“How many?” 

“W-what?”

“How many girls did you sleep with while thinking about me?” 

Amber’s blood went hot and she shoved Krystal away before she realized it and ran to her room, slamming the door closed behind her before locking it and sinking to the floor, brushing the tears from her eyes. She heard Krystal pad to the other side and bang on the door. 

“I was just playing around with you. Come on!”

“What’s wrong with you?!” Amber shouted. “Do you have any idea what I went through to tell you? How hard it was to keep it from you?” 

“You should’ve just trusted me! I can’t believe you lied to me for years!” Krystal screamed.

“WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS ALL ABOUT YOU?! I was scared! I didn’t want to lose you?” 

“Funny, it’s not about me” Krystal snarked from the other side of the door, “Funny how that didn’t matter when you were pushing me away and lying to me for FIVE YEARS! Funny! When it’s me you claim to have feelings for and you acted like a dead fish when you kissed me!” She heard a thump that must have been Krystal’s foot connecting with the wood. “Funny how you barely even talked to me but trusted those random girls not to spill your secrets!”

Amber trembled as the anger continued to spill out of Krystal and stood to slowly opened the door to find her on the other side, still screaming and crying. 

“I just want to know why!” Krystal cried, falling into Amber’s arms when she held them open and pressing her face into the side of her neck. 

Amber pulled her close, gently enfolding her arms around her. 

“Why what?” She whispered hoarsely. 

Krystal shook in her arms. 

“Krystal?” 

She just shook her head and clung on tighter.

“Krys?” 

The dam broke and her shoulders slumped. “I don’t know. I don’t know.” 

“I’m so sorry, Krystal.” 

“You shouldn’t be apologizing. You were scared.”

“But you’re right. I let other people in my life, but I only did that because the stakes were so low. And because-“ 

Krystal angled her head back so she could look up at Amber, crystal tears clinging to her lashes. “Because?” 

Amber gently brushed the back of her hand against her cheek and let her thumb chase away a tear. “They weren’t you. If they left because they couldn’t accept me? Fine. If the relationship fell apart in the end, I could deal with that. But you...I was too scared to do anything to risk losing you.” 

A fist thumped against her chest. “By lying to me?”

“We’ve been over this. I was stupid.” 

“I keep getting mad,” Krystal cried, her lips pinching together. “Every time I think about how long you haven’t been honest with me I just want to-“” she made a violent gesture with her hand. 

“But you still wanted to kiss me?” 

Krystal’s eyes flicked away. 

“Why?” 

“Just kiss me again and this time don’t half it.”

Amber’s eyes scanned her face to be sure Krystal really wanted this, but her face was unreadable, so Amber leaned in, and kissed her again, taking her lips firmly and passionately and sliding her tongue into the warm depth. She at again and again, squeezing her tiny waist against her own flat stomach and running her hands up Krystal’s graceful back. 

“Uuuummm.” 

The soft moan snapped Amber out of her fevered advance. “I-“ 

She was going to apologize, but the look in Krystal’s eyes stopped her. 

“Looks like we both made a mistake.”