Krystal laughed and then her face fell when Amber continued to stare shyly at her. She replayed the conversation they’d just had in her head, then frowned. 

“Wait...what?” 

Amber looked like she was gauging her reaction before she shook her head with a huff and laughed a little. “I’m bi and I’m totally in love with you.” She rolled her eyes, making it hard for Krystal to know if she were being serious or not. 

“Come on, let’s get inside. This parking garage smells like .” 

Krystal wrinkled her nose and followed behind the older girl, trailing her quietly to her apartment. “You’re in love with me?” She asked once they were inside, taking their shoes off at the entryway. 

“Totally and completely. You’re gorgeous, kind, silly, the perfect amount of prissy and careless,” Amber shrugged, not looking her. “Who wouldn’t be.” 

Krystal laughed again, then squinted at the back of Amber’s head. “Wait, are you serious?” 

“100%. Serious as a heart attack. As serious as Sirius Black. Wait…was he serious? I don’t really know much about Harry Potter. He was in prison for ages, right?” 

She trailed Amber to her bedroom, still trying to determine if Amber was actually into her, or just teasing her because of her assumption after her confession. She chewed on her bottom lip. If Amber were being serious, how was she supposed to respond to that? They were friends and band mates, nothing more. Besides, Krystal liked guys, there was no way this would work. And Amber was a complete goof, except for when she was serious. 

Which was why it was so hard to tell what was going on right now. 

She massaged the bridge of her nose in frustration and flopped down on Amber’s bed, only to be pulled up seconds later and pushed toward the shower. 

“Don’t get your dank sweat on my sheets, thanks.” She dropped down where Krystal had been and propped her head up on her hand. “Let’s watch whichever movie starts at 8 so we can have dinner around 6. I think I’m just gonna skip lunch. I feel down for a nap.” 

Krystal wondered if she should ask Amber to clarify her feelings, but felt like if she were wrong Amber would laugh at her, and if she were right, their friendship would be ruined. As she showered, she considered what she would do if Amber really had feelings for her. 

She couldn’t like her back. Could she?

She shampooed her hair and tried to imagine getting intimate with Amber, if Amber were to kiss her or brush her fingers over her skin. 

She shook her head, the imagining making her laugh. There was no way she felt anything other than friendship toward Amber. 

She toweled dry, slipped into some comfortable clothes, then crawled into bed beside Amber, squishing in next to her because of the hundreds of stuffed animals littering the space. Krystal took a few moments to stare down at Amber’s face, considering her features. She traced a fingertip along the bridge of her curved nose and a little wrinkle from smiling at the side of her lips. 

Amber was too important to her to lose over some misunderstanding, so she would just accept Amber’s uality and not think about the rest. Amber had probably been joking anyway to mess with her about her assumptions. 

Nearly an hour later, she woke groggily and blinked around to catch her bearings. She was warmer than when she’d fallen asleep and found Amber had turned toward her and laid a toned arm across her stomach, her face tucked into Krystal’s neck and fanning breaths against her skin. 

It wasn’t the first time they’d woken up like that together, but it was the first time they had after she discovered Amber liked women, and she hated to be that person, but it really did change everything to know that. She found herself overthinking everything. Every word, every touch. 

She grimaced and gently removed herself from Amber’s embrace, accidentally startling the older girl awake. 

“Is it time to go yet?” 

Krystal shifted away slightly. “No. It’s barely past noon. Hungry?” 

Amber sighed and tossed her arms above her head, seeming to just get more comfortable. “Not really. I could do with some more sleep though.”

“If you sleep all day you’ll only feel more tired later.” 

“Don’t care,” Amber groaned. “I don’t have anything to do today. I’m going to rest as much as I can to stock up.” 

“It doesn’t work like that,” Krystal laughed.

“Then why do you do it?” 

“Beds are just so comfy,” Krystal said, relaxing a bit. She moved slightly and felt her body bump lightly against Amber’s and words just popped out of without thought behind them. “How did you know?” She bit her lip, wanting to take the question back. 

“Know what?” Amber asked, her eyes still closed. 

“That you like girls,” Krystal said on her rush, her breath trapped somewhere in the back of as she waited for an answer. She felt Amber tense beside her. 

“How did you know you like guys?” Amber lobbied back, sounding like she was clenching her teeth.  

Krystal squeezed her eyes shut. “I guess that was a stupid question. I’m sorry.” 

They lay their in silence for a few moments, then she felt Amber’s hand on hers, squeezing it lightly. “I didn’t really realize until later. Boys…everyone was talking about girls liking boys. Hardly anyone was talking about girls like girls, at least not seriously. Kiss another girl to turn your boyfriend on, sure. Play around with a girl until you find the guy you’re supposed to be with. Girls who liked girls had just been hurt by men. All of that was going around. So I would look at a girl and think I was just admiring her; her grace, her style, how she managed to get a figure I could never achieve. But one night, I was in a club, dancing with a girl, her body rubbing against mine in all the right places, my eyes on hers…and everything just clicked.” 

“When?” Krystal asked quietly, glad that Amber was finally talking to her. 

“About five years ago. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it then.” 

Krystal squinted her eyes then nodded to herself. “That girl who-“

“Yeah,” Amber laughed. “She was my girlfriend for a while. We broke up cause I was too busy. Then I dated another guy, then another girl. All the relationships ended for different reasons.” 

“As relationships do,” Krystal acknowledged, having been through a few herself. 

“Sorry I wasn’t open with you.” 

Krystal met Amber’s eyes, squeezing her hand back. “It’s scary. I mean, I don’t know first hand, but-yeah…I shouldn’t have made it about me, even though I wish I would have known.” 

Amber shifted slightly closer to her. “Yeah? What would’ve been different if you would’ve known?” 

Was that a challenge she heard in Amber’s voice? Krystal wondered. “I..don’t know. I guess it just would’ve been nice to know. I always felt you were holding something back from me and it used to make me so angry. We couldn’t have gone on like that for much longer,” she realized. “We were drifting apart.” 

She felt Amber’s thumb brushing against the backs  of her fingers. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

And just like that, Krystal was back to wondering if Amber had been serious with her confession earlier, and what she would do about it if she were.