Krystal knew Amber knew, but she still tried to hide how much she was analyzing Amber’s every move when they did things together that night and the next morning. It was clear Amber noticed since she was also analyzing Krystal’s every move and didn’t treat her like she used to. 

Krystal watched Amber sitting nervously on the couch and sighed, bringing them both over a glass of water. 

“So…what’s your type?” 

Amber glanced at her out of the side of her eye and bit her lower lip. “Why?” 

Krystal shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to be able to talk to you again. I want to be able to play with you about crushes or set you up with someone maybe.”

That seemed to make her tense up for some reason. “No thank you,” Amber declined. “And you know personality matters to me more than looks.” 

A flash of disbelief crossed Krystal’s delicate features. “Urm, you always talked about bulging muscles and perky butts when-“

Amber blushed cutting her off, “Okay, yeah, looks matter to me, but without a good personality, there’s no point, no matter how juicy the cheeks.” 

Krystal laughed and shoved her shoulder lightly. “You’re ridiculous.” She slung her legs up into Amber’s lap for that added touch of normalcy. 

They watched television quietly together for a little while longer before Amber turned to her, her eyes vulnerable and soft. “Thank you for trying to be cool with this. I know it’s gotten a little awkward and while I kind of regret telling you now, I’m also glad that you know.”

Krystal reached out for her hand and Amber took it. “I’m glad I know too,” she said, brushing her thumb along the backs of Amber’s small fingers.

They settled back into watching whatever was on tv, their fingers intertwined and slowly sliding together in the space between them. She passed her thumb over Amber’s knuckle again and saw her bite her lip out of the side of her eye. 

“Don’t do that,” Amber whispered and tried to tug her hand out of the grasp Krystal had on it. 

“Am I your type?” Krystal asked with a giggle.

Amber glared at her. “Don’t play this game with me, Krystal. You’re better than that.”

“What game?” Krystal raised an eyebrow. 

“The game where the straight girl is curious and too scared to say that, so she plays her gay friend into a kiss that ruins the friendship.” 

“I’m not trying to get you to kiss me!”

“Then let go of my hand.”

Krystal released her hand and folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not curious.” 

“You are! You’re wondering what it is about women that’s attractive to me. You’re wondering why if I’m attracted to women, why I’m not attracted to you since you’re pretty and we’re friends. You’re wondering what at least one kiss with a girl would be like and since I’m right here, you think I’m fair game!”

The younger girl’s cheeks scorched red at the accuracy of Amber’s words. She was curious. She didn’t understand it. She loved how guys were taller than she was, how firm their bodies were. Their wide shoulders, among other things. She didn’t get how a woman could be attracted to another woman. What was so exciting about seeing what you already have?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, pulling her feet out of Amber’s lap and curling into her side of the couch. “I can’t believe I did that.”

Amber gave a jerky shrug and refocused on what they were watching, though they were both completely lost to the plot now and thinking about everything Amber had just said. 

Were girls sweeter?

Krystal shook her head to dispel the thought.

What did it feel like to hold another woman besides her family members as she fell asleep?

She loved hugging Amber because her body temperature was always so warm. Hot even. What would it feel like to hold her more than a few seconds?

“What would it hurt?” she heard herself whispering, her eyes flicking to the girl on the other end of the couch.

“What?!” Amber demanded with no small amount of surprise.

Krystal winced at her shock. “I mean, girls do this all the time right? Practice kissing?”

“Practice…” Amber huffed in disbelief. “We both already know how to kiss, Krystal.  “Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to me. I … I was lying earlier when I said I didn’t have feelings for you. So it just wouldn’t be right for me to kiss you while feeling the way I do.”

Krystal’s heart gave a shaky beat. Feelings… “Why did you lie?”

“Because I was scared of how you might react…or if you might just leave. I value you as a friend. I didn’t want to jeopardize that more than I already have by withholding my uality from you all these years.”

Krystal could understand that. Being honest was scary, with strangers or even with people you’ve known your entire life. They’d known each other ten years and still couldn’t be sure how the other would react to a certain situation. Krystal didn’t even know where her own actions were coming from right now. She just knew she wanted to try something. To see… to see what it would feel like, if they kissed. 

Amber abruptly stood from the couch. We’re out of frozen waffles and I'm kind of craving some. Want to come with me to Walmart?

Krystal recognized the subject change for what it was, though the tense atmosphere hadn’t fully dissipated. 

She stood and followed Amber to her bedroom where they grabbed sweatshirts and their wallets.

“Can I drive there?”

Amber grimaced. “I literally just bought my car.”

She pouted and Amber rolled her eyes. 

“Fine. But of you so much as sent my baby, I will beat you to death with one of my llamas.”

“Woah. Dark. Plus, you think I'm pretty, so you would never.”

She laughed when Am we rolled her eyes and flipped her shirt hair. At least they were back to joking around with each other.

She still sort of wanted that kiss though. She wondered what she would have to do to make it happen.