Sana has thought about how that moment would play out at least a billion times in the past three and a half years, but when it finally comes, it’s nothing like she expected. Sometimes she imagined she’d scream, sometimes she imagined she’d cry, but not once did she think they would just share a loaded look from across the room and then avoid each other altogether, but that’s exactly what they do.

Seeing Jihyo sitting at the dinner table hits Sana a lot harder than she’s prepared for. It’s striking how having Jihyo there doesn’t seem strange and out of place at all, in fact, she’s fitting right in, having what seems to be an amicable conversation with Tzuyu and Mina about Tzuyu's college struggles as if the past three years and a half year never happened and she’s been there the whole time. Sana feels like she’s seeing a ghost.

She could probably convince herself she’s watching an old memory from her past rather than the present day reality if it wasn’t for how different Jihyo looks. She’s wearing a soft-looking black and white striped sweater over a tight pair of pants and boots, her hair cut just above shoulder-length and falling loosely around her face. She looks older, a lot older than the three and a half years that have passed by, especially around the eyes. The smile she flashes Tzuyu seems tired but genuine, and Sana can’t help letting her eyes lingers on it for a moment.

(It’s been a long time since she last saw Jihyo, but it’s been much longer since the last time she saw her smiling ).

Finally, Jihyo pulls herself away from her conversation and notices Sana’s staring. Their eyes meet and Jihyo has that soft bur crushed look she remembers so well from their teenage years. It’s the same look she gave Sana when they were twelve and she accidentally broke Sana’s favourite mug, except this time she’s broken a lot more than that and they both know it.

“Babe, are you okay?” Eunha asks, squeezing Sana’s hand gently.

Sana scolds herself as she tears her gaze away from Jihyo’s. For a moment she completely forgot Eunha is standing right beside her.

“Of course!” She replies a little too eagerly, planting an exaggerated kiss to her girlfriend’s lips. She notices the whole dinner table is staring at her now and realizes that it probably looks like she did it just to spite Jihyo, which isn’t the case. She’s just trying to set her own head straight. “C’mon babe, let’s sit down.”

She’s thankful to find that her friends have left available the two seats as far away from Jihyo as possible, so she and Eunha settle down there, sitting between the edge of the table and Nayeon.

“Sana, honey? Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

“Yeah, right.” It hadn’t even crossed Sana’s mind that Eunha doesn’t know anybody at the table except for Mina. She stretches her arm out and points around the table, reciting the names as she goes along. “This is Nayeon, you already know Mina, that over is Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, Dahyun and Tzuyu, this is Mina’s sister Momo and that…”

She stops as she reaches the complete stranger sitting next to Jihyo. Was he sitting there the whole time? Sana didn’t even notice him before, too busy staring at her ex to acknowledge him.

“Jackson.” He smirks, using his thumb to point to Jihyo at his side. “I’m her plus one.”

Eunha looks to Jihyo politely, waiting for her to introduce herself. Sana is sure Jihyo is just going to leave Eunha hanging until she finally speaks, her voice barely audible and her cheeks clearly flushed. “I’m… Jihyo.”

Thankfully, Sana’s girlfriend doesn’t seem to notice the awkwardness. “Nice to meet you guys! I’m Eunha.”

The table goes painfully silent, everyone’s eyes darting from Sana to Jihyo as if one of them is about to explode. Sana is not entirely sure they’re wrong.

“So, Jihyo…” Chaeyoung clears . “How was the trip to Seoul?”

“It was… eventful.” Jihyo visibly stiffens at this and Sana feels an old urge to reach out for her, to soothe her. She reminds herself that’s not her place anymore, but her stomach still twists as she watches that guy Jackson grab Jihyo’s hand reassuringly.

“We had a little problem with airport security back in Busan.” He explains.

“A little problem?” Jihyo seems positively enraged. “Those security guards literally asked him to take his prosthesis off!”

“Whoa,” Mina utters incredulously. “There’s gotta be a law against that!”

Jackson just nods patiently. “There is, and I told them that and they backed off.”

“They still insisted on testing your leg for explosives like you were some criminal or something.”

“They were just doing their jobs, darling. ”

( Darling ??)

She realizes that Jihyo’s wariness must mean she really cares about this Jackson person, and Sana feels the most inappropriate twinge of jealousy running up her spine. She even lets him call her darling. Park Jihyo. Darling. It’s unbelievable.

“More like s, but okay,” Jihyo grumbles angrily.

Sana knows that side of Jihyo all too well, that fierce protective streak that had gotten her into trouble so many times in the past. Jihyo was never really the most approachable person, to begin with, but if anyone so much as looked at her friends the wrong way she would bite their head off with no hesitation. It was one of the things Sana loved about her. Jihyo used to make her feel so safe like she would never let anyone hurt her.

(Ironic, huh?).

Jihyo is not at all shocked to find that Sana is still the most beautiful girl in the world. She looks almost exactly as Jihyo remembers her: blonde hair tied back into a braid and big bright brown eyes, wearing a light blue sundress underneath a thin white cardigan. If warmth was a person, it would look like Sana. Hell, even her fake smile is stunning.

Sana’s girlfriend Eunha is not too shabby herself. Jihyo shamelessly looks for reasons to hate her, but can’t find a single one, she’s been nothing but sweet and polite ever since they arrived. Jihyo definitely wouldn’t be able to meet her girlfriend’s ex with such grace.

They try to dine with as much normalcy as possible considering they’re in an unavoidably awkward situation, and things go well for the most part. Jihyo can tell Sana is uncomfortable and she wishes there was something she could do to make it better. It all feels so strange. For most of their lives, they were inseparable, and now they can’t even address each other directly. Not knowing how to act around Sana, Jihyo decides it’s easier to avoid her altogether, focusing on catching up with her old friends.

Tzuyu seems to be doing great at college. Jihyo is still having trouble processing the fact that Tzuyu is now an adult, even though she has always been their little group’s most mature member.

Jeongyeon tells Jihyo all about how she was devastated she didn’t get into the college she wanted and had to move away to go her second choice. She and Mina have been dating long distance for nearly 4 years now and she’s close to finishing her degree, excited to move back to Seoul as soon as she graduates.

Mina goes on and on about how much she adores the Seoul National University Political Science program. She has recently taken up an internship at one of her professor’s political campaign, and she’s completely overworked but loving every minute of it, knowing that she can help bring real change into the county.

Nayeon is quiet for most of their conversation, listening attentively but not really participating in any meaningful way. Jihyo wonders if that’s her fault, too. Sana isn’t the only person at the table she has hurt.

“Hey, Nayeon.” She starts, trying to not sound as nervous as she is. “What about you? What have you been up to?”

She shoots her a strange look, clearly surprised she’s even talking to her in the first place. She feels herself getting tense but she smiles politely shortly after. At the very least she doesn’t seem to hate her. “I’ve been studying fashion design, and it’s just as awesome as I thought it would be. I hope I can launch a runaway soon.”

“Nabongs,” Jeongyeon interjects, and Jihyo has a feeling she’s not going to ask about her degree. “Did you finally get that cute girl to date you?”

Nayeon tries to conceal a smirk. “Her name is Jennie and yeah, I did. We’ve been going out for a few months now.”

“Why isn’t she here, then?” Momo asks immediately. “We need to know if we like her or not. No one’s allowed to join our group without approval.”

She shrugs. “I invited her, but she couldn’t afford to miss class for a whole week.”

“Hey, Momo?” Jackson chimes in. “Do I get approval?”

“ Of course !” She replies excitedly.

“Please feel free to bring Jackson over more often,” Mina adds, and Jihyo is actually glad to know they’re expecting her to start visiting them recurringly. She’d like that.

She catches Jeongyeon rolling her eyes and can’t help but laugh. She missed this. Missed them.

“How about you, babe?” Eunha nudges Sana. “You’re being so quiet...Aren’t you gonna tell Jihyo what you’ve been up to?”

Eunha doesn’t seem bad intended, but her words still make everyone at the table exchange awkward glances. Sana’s cheeks are so flushed she looks like a particularly ripe tomato. Jihyo knows she probably doesn’t look too different.

“Uhm, sure I…” She keeps her eyes on her plate as she speaks, her voice trembling. “I’ve been going to Hanyang University for a while now, and I finally declared my major it’s in business studies. Also, I moved out of my parent's place so I have my own apartment near campus now, it’s pretty cool.”

“I must mention that she has not yet invited me over to said apartment even though we live in the same town and I’m a little offended.” Mina scoffs.

“And I will definitely make that up to you, promise…” Sana’s voice drifts off and she directs her gaze at Jihyo, still looking nervous. “What about you, Jihyo? What’s happening in your life?”

To an oblivious bystander it might seem like Sana is just making small talk, but it’s the first time she speaks to her directly and Jihyo knows it’s such a loaded question. Jihyo wants to tell her everything, every little excruciating detail of what the past three and a half years have been like. She wants Sana to know about university, about the kids… But she’s scared. Suddenly it all feels too intimate to be shared from across a table full of people, even if those people were once her closest friends.

“Yonsei University. Social Work.” It’s all she manages to squeeze out.

Jihyo prepares herself for a disappointed look in Sana’s eyes but all she does is nod slowly, her expression completely unreadable.

Thankfully, even though clearly no one’s satisfied with her 3-word answer, none of her friends presses her any further. They know her well enough not to.

“Do you go to Yonsei University  as well, Jackson?” Dahyun asks.

“Yeah, I do, I met Jihyo in freshman year.” Jackson seems happy to be included in the conversation. Talking about himself is his speciality. “I’m majoring in Robotics, it’s pretty cool. Also, Jihyo and I have just finally left dorm life behind and rented a place, so that’s kind of exciting even though we have virtually no furniture.”

“We do have a VR kit, though. Priorities, you know.” Jihyo adds.

(Sana doesn’t send a glance in her direction for the rest of the evening).