a is for alone. to others, it simply meant the absence of company. to wendy, it was a familiar feeling, and it held more weight than the word, 'lonely'.

wendy felt alone the moment the plane landed, despite her mother sitting right beside her, jolting awake while wiping the drool from the corner of .

wendy felt alone when the taxi drove past picturesque sceneries from the airport to their accommodation, despite her mother gripping her hand tightly while excitedly telling tales that accompanied every scenery of the country that wendy was born in, yet so unfamiliar with.

wendy felt alone when her mother went back to canada shortly after she had settled down in a tiny apartment with 7 other trainees, and her roommate hadn't even given her any choice but coldly told her in informal speech, "you, newbie, whatever your name is, you're taking the upper bunk. don't you dare let your feet touch my bed or else..."

wendy felt alone because she had been nothing but kind and friendly and helpful to the fellow female trainees around her, yet all she had been receiving were glares that reflected their skepticism and harsh comments that they blatantly made sure wendy heard.

"i don't understand why she's trying so hard to get in our good books, such a faker. even her name-- wendy? please, we're in korea."

"she's overly excited, don't you think? i bet she hopes to catch the attention of those male trainees. look at them, god, did you see johnny just now? OH DADDY."

wendy felt alone lying on the floor of the dance studio, finally taking a break after training non-stop. it was 4am and although trainees were infamous for training into the wee hours, this was considered late, especially since wendy had been training all day-- she didn't bear the burden of school anymore, afterall. wendy had no choice, she was lagging behind immensely in the area of dance. being slow at learning and constantly forgetting the dance moves was one thing, but the way wendy looked when dancing was a whole other major issue. for some reason, she just had to look so awkward trying to coordinate her hands and legs, she looked so painfully stiff doing body rolls that people looked effortlessly y doing, she got easily distracted and missed the starting beat by just a split second--

"WENDY WENDY WENDY! FOCUS! TAKE IT AS ME BEGGING YOU, PLEASE!" the instructor had barked earlier on-- of course, SM would hire the strictest instructors intolerant of the slightest mistakes.

wendy wasn't used to criticism-- she had spent her teenage years basking in glorious recognition of her perfection-- her stellar grades, her musical abilities, her beautiful personality, her popularity, her leadership... wendy finally felt tears fall. at least no one was watching her cry, to scold her for crying, or accuse her of being an attention seeker. 

a twist of the door knob and wendy sat up, frantically wiping her tears, realising she was no longer alone. from behind the door emerged a stoic fellow trainee known as bae joohyun, who happened to share the same dorm as wendy, whom wendy knew was notorious for the ice cold expression that never left her face, scaring every trainee away-- including wendy herself. wendy immediately stood up and bowed more than 90 degrees, "i-i'm sorry sunbae! i-i was just--"

"which part do you need help with?" 

"i-i'm sorry?" 

"i noticed you hadn't gone back to the dorm. figured you would still be here practising for the evaluation that's in a couple of hours. i'm the only help you've got, so take it or leave it." 

did wendy hear her correctly? The Bae Joohyun had noticed that she hadn't gone home AND came back offering to help wendy? 

wendy felt her lower jaw drop, before she hastily her lips and blabbered, "o-oh um thanks so much sunbae i don't know what i've done to deserve this. i'm wendy! you probably already know that because that's the name that reverberates through the building when i'm having dance because the instructor obviously loves me. oh but the other seniors don't seem to like that my name is wendy so you can call me seungwan and um right! i needed help with the dance break of boa sunbaenim's no. 1."

moments passed and joohyun merely stared at her in silence. wendy felt uncomfortable and started wringing her hands. "a-actually sunbae, it's okay--" 

"what are you blabbering on about? i'