High notes, low notes. Without a compass or pattern, the notes echoed at an innocent flow from a child's heart. It wasn't important whether the melody was correct or not. What really mattered was that little boy who was enjoying himself through the music he was creating. That music didn't exist or was composed by a famous songwriter. It was more a bunch of random sounds.

"Hoonie, time to go to bed" Lee Jung Sook called, appearing at his back. Not getting any response from him, she tickled his ribs, gaining the desired reaction. Little Hoon laughed and turned to hug his mother.

The women took him to her embrace and together they went to the little one's bedroom. Jung Sook put him on the bed and then sat beside him.

"Mommy, why do people sing?" Hoon asked, curiosity sparkling in his eyes.

"Oh my dear, what a question!" She laughed, but soon answered, "Music is the voice of our souls. People sing to show this voice, to show their feelings".

"So the lullabies are inside voices saying goodnight?"

"No." His mother said sweetly. "They are..."

They are voices reassuring you that your memories will be turned out as dreams while you sleep, engraving in your heart so you'll never forget what is truly important.

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"...oon! Hoon! Hoon-ah!" A loud voice called for him, suddenly waking him up. As soon as Hoon slowly opened his eyes, he met a pair of dark ones gazing at him. "You have dozed off again. Come on, it's our turn."

Hoon nodded and got up, a little dazed, looking at the mirror a couple of times to make sure his make-up was in order and his hair wasn’t messed up. He entered the elevator with the leader and breathed heavily, feeling more tired than normal. Soohyun, on the other hand, was making some warm-ups for his voice since they would start with their duet song and then sing U-KISS’ newest song with the rest of the group.

However, soon the silence turned to be very uncomfortable. Usually, Hoon was very cheerful, but now it felt like all his colors faded out. It was their first comeback performance since AJ had returned. Shouldn’t he be more cheerful? Soohyun didn’t understand. Since their last conversation back in Japan, he noticed how Hoon seemed more and more distant. Even though there was a time when he would cling a lot with Kiseop and interact less with Soohyun himself, now it seemed the blond one – Hoon decided to dye his hair for the newest comeback – was retreating into his own space. In a suspicious way, Soohyun had to point out. The leader didn’t know if the other members have been noticing since Hoon was faking all his actions pretty well, but Soohyun sure had. Actually, to be honest, he was enough.

“Hyung” Hoon broke the silence “Do you think there is something more painful than pain?”

This caught Soohyun off guard. He tilted his head a bit, thinking about an answer that was good enough. In the beginning, it seemed like there was none. Then, he remembered something.

“Yeah. To lose someone you really love, but without yours or their choice.” Soohyun said in a quite bitter tone, narrowing his eyes.

Hoon immediately understood what his friend had meant, and felt sorry for bringing that subject up. It wasn’t a good moment to make Soohyun remember his taken dad.

“Ah, don’t make this face. It’s okay. I prefer to save the good memories in my heart.”

“Memories?” Hoon echoed in a whisper tone. Then, he commented in a loud voice. “To have such beautiful memories is a great thing, right?”

But to forget them… Even the new ones wouldn’t fill the space of the lost ones… Lost memories can’t be brought back.

“But there are the eternal ones. Like U-KISS! We have to make sure people will never forget our group! These memories nobody can erase. They’re eternal.” Soohyun said with that paternal tone of a concerned leader. He put a reassuring hand on Hoon’s shoulder, trying to believe in his own words. As long as someone believed that something is true, that thing will never fade away. Isn’t that what Hoon himself taught him a long time ago?

Surely, the other boy noticed this. Now, things were going the other way around. Hoon had always been there when Soohyun needed the most. Still, the leader didn’t have his confidence high enough yet… Perhaps, it seemed he was giving a try, only to help the one who held his heart and all his tears the most. If Hoon was to break now, Soohyun would have to ignore his own scars to not let his dear friend’s heart shatters anymore. 

Somehow, this filled Hoon’s being so greatly that a smile formed on his lips. At first, tiny. Then, it grew.

The elevator’s door opened and Hoon was the first one to step out. When he turned to Soohyun, though, that shadow was gone.

“Let’s make this the best comeback ever, Hyung!” the blond-haired exclaimed excited and made a ‘v’ sign.

With a mysterious smile, Soohyun nodded.

“As always.”

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“That was amazing! Have you guys seen how they were screaming?” Eli shouted in excitement, taking a dry cloth to clean away all the sweatiness.

“Dude, I’ve missed this so much!” AJ said, taking a bottle of water for him.

All the boys gathered inside the waiting room once more, sharing their happiness and thoughts about the performance despite all the tiredness. Smiles and jokes filled the air with promises of a brand new hope. Even if it was being difficult to top on the music charts, they would never lose faith in themselves.

“Don’t go back to Columbia, then.” Dongho teased, earning a mischievous smile from the rapper. Then, all of sudden, he was caught into a playful headlock from AJ, making all the others laugh.

“So our maknae is the one who missed me the most, huh?” the rapper teased back, grinning.

As always, a big mess. They would fool around until some cordinoona shows up to ask them to change or until the manager tells them to go home to rest. Well, when there’s time to rest since sometimes more work would be awaiting in their tight schedule.

“Where is Hoon?” Soohyun asked while looking around. However, before anyone could spot Hoon out, the leader saw him in a corner. He was reading a paper and his hands were… shaking? Not that was something unusual, but again there were those eyes full of fear. Soohyun made a step towards his bandmate, but his manager called to inform him about some schedule changes.

Minutes later, Hoon wasn’t there anymore.

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“WAIT! HOON, WAIT!”

“NO!”

“Let’s talk, you can’t run away like this!” Soohyun attempted to grab the younger’s arm, his face full of concern.

“ OFF, HYUNG! I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.” Hoon tried to pull his arm back, completely ignoring the fact he was screaming in a corridor. “I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO ANYO—” He was interrupted when a pair of arms pulled him to an embrace. A warm embrace. Soohyun’s arms. That was the ultimate trigger to make Hoon break down and cry. Kevin and AJ approached in silence, also trying to soothe Hoon in their own way. 

Everything went wrong. At least was what Hoon thought.

The four members of U-KISS were at a variety show promoting the group and playing on some silly games with many other idols. For the most part of the show, things were going perfectly. The problem started when they had to sing a song from one of their sunbaes. In the middle of the song, Hoon stopped singing. It didn’t matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember the lyrics or the melody. Until then, it was okay. The other members and even the MCs joked a bit, bringing some laughter to the audience.

However, later, he’d forgotten the lyrics of his duet with Soohyun. His own duet. A U-KISS’ song. He had forgotten his own song. This was totally unacceptable, totally unforgivable. The shame was unbearable. Therefore, when the program was over, he left without saying a word or looking back.

“You were just nervous. All of us are exhaust from our schedules. This can happen to anyone. It wasn’t your fault. Really, it’s okay.” Soohyun did his best to take away the guilt that was eating Hoon alive, but it wasn’t much effective. When Hoon said he needed to go take his belongings in the dressing room, Soohyun felt like a failure. He wanted so badly to do something to cheer Hoon up, but it was a waste of time. He didn’t have this power. He… He was nothing.

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Hoon was so pissed with himself. What others would think of him? That kind of mistake would only bring U-KISS down. He didn’t want to ruin the group’s image. He had to protect the group’s name. Also, he couldn’t make the other members worry about him. He couldn’t make Soohyun worry about him.

“Stop crying…” He whispered to himself while looking for something inside his bag. It was there somewhere and… He found it. He took the small bottle full of pills and opened it. Just one would be enough and…

“What are you doing?”

A strong voice right behind him made Hoon drop the bottle, almost making its content spread on the floor.

“Hoon, what the hell are you doing?”