“Ah…” Hoon stuttered and felt his hands tremble more than ever. He was busted. No, he thought it was too early for that, so he didn’t try to come up with some kind of explanation. He simply crouched down and took his bottle, putting it back inside his bag. “I’m leaving first. I’m tired and we have a tight schedule tomorrow.”

 Hoon hurried to the door behind AJ’s back. The rapper still tried to question him, but the door was shut while he was mid-sentence. He could have blocked Hoon’s path, but sensing something was very wrong (plus everything he has studied about psychology in Columbia ) he felt like letting go. For now. He would need to pay more attention to his friend.

Perhaps… also, let their leader know what he just saw.

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Life was busy. UKISS barely finished their Standing Still promotion and soon began to prepare for a new Japanese tour. Daily rehearsals, interviews, photo shoots, and variety programs. Nothing new, except for a certain vocalist who was struggling more than when he got into the group. While most of the boys had a good night sleep, Hoon would stay up late, sneaking to their provisory dance room at the hotel and singing and dancing all over again. Each and every music, the same routine every night. It felt like the old days when he was a trainee. It never seemed enough. He had to memorize everything.

Obviously, this affected his mood during the day and deviated him from the others. The members sensed something was wrong with him, but nobody dared to say anything unless they wanted to receive a scaring glare from Hoon. Keeping quiet about that, especially after hearing from AJ that Hoon was hiding something suspicious, only made Soohyun more nervous. He felt like being eaten from inside by something very insane. He wanted to do something.

He had to do something.

He wasn’t sure of what, but he needed to improvise after Dongho bluntly accusing Hoon of being a pain in the for the group with his dark mood and never-ending tiredness. Eli and Kiseop had to hold back a very angry Hoon from replicating a scene from Holyland where he kicked hard the maknae. It wasn’t like Hoon to act like that, which only made everything more terrifying.

This is why, without thinking much, Soohyun grabbed Hoon’s hand and pulled him for somewhere outside.

And this is why, half an hour later, both were sitting at a table inside the leader’s favorite restaurant: TETSU.

“I’m not hungry…” Hoon mumbled, wanting nothing more than running away.

“Yeah, but I am, and extra super-sized combo noodles can’t be eaten by just one person.” Soohyun grinned, trying to unsuccessfully lift the mood.

“This… doesn’t even make sense” Hoon frowned, finally looking at the older one. Their eyes met for a second and they hold their breaths. The unwavering warmth they only had for each other. A silence secret hiding deep inside their hearts. Both knew what were those feelings, however, neither had the courage to say out loud.

As Hoon was about to avoid the leader’s eyes once again, Soohyun spoke in just one breath.

“I saw you rehearsing last night. And all the other nights.”

The younger one’s eyes wavered in fear. He tried to maintain a blank expression, but in front of Soohyun, this was a very hard mission. If there was someone who could read him perfectly it was Shin Soohyun.

“Dongho was being unfair. You train hard every night while everybody sleeps. It’s exactly the same from when you got in our group years ago. You don’t want to bother anyone, so you do whatever it takes to appear flawless. Except, that time you were shy and quiet almost all the time, and then you became as talkative as I am. Hoon… the you of now… I don’t understand. I don’t know what’s inside your mind or…“ Soohyun bit his lower lip, fumbling and looking for the correct words. “Your heart. But I know something isn’t right. Please, Hoon. Please, tell me.”

“Soohyun.” He started, but there was so much pain in his voice, that the older one flinched. “I can’t. I know you are worried. Everyone seems to be. But, don’t ask any questions. I’m not ready. I…”

“Got it. That’s fine.” The leader said, again trying to smile. He couldn’t force Hoon to speak, right? He would eventually open up. “Let’s eat now.”

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Sweet memories aren’t ones we can plan. They happen without us realizing, like a warm sunrise that tickles our eyelids and stays there to brighten our day. Then, even when the night falls, the feeling remains for some time. It can disappear, but it can also become a melody for an evening lullaby. Perhaps a promise of a new sweet memory for tomorrow.

Soohyun and Hoon should have returned to their dorm, but they decide to take the risk for just one day. With practical covers, like hats and masks, they went to a Game Center in Ikebukuro and played for a couple of hours. Rounds of a basketball game, a zombie hunt, punch bags to test one’s strength and even a photo boot. Later, bowling and karaoke.

Hoon was beaming with smiles and laughs. Even if was for just a few hours, Soohyun was able to make him happy. They acted silly together. It was easy to make funny faces, laugh, hug. They were the best of friends, and nothing seemed out of place. Yes, being in U-KISS was their life, but being with just each other… Was there a name for that? They didn’t know, and they also didn’t care.

Everything was perfect and they would make sure to have the best Japanese concert ever without any worries.

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For some days, they had peace. The strange atmosphere was over and they weren’t uncomfortable anymore. Since the day of Hoon and Dongho’s fight, nothing more happened. The two of them were in good terms, especially since Soohyun made they have a good talk – and a friendly and not so wanted kiss for peace. Moreover, Hoon seemed better. He talked and joked more, being the strange guy everyone knew and liked.

Actually, to be honest, Soohyun was already missing him, and he was away for just one day! Hoon had to go back to Korea to film an episode of Dream Team. It would take only two days and then he would come back to Japan to reunite with the members for more shows. While warming up to rehearse for one of U-KISS’ choreographs, the leader thought of what kind of places they could go together to have some fun after wrapping up the tour. Perhaps, Sapporo? Hoon would love to go snowboarding!

“Where are those guys? We agreed to be here at 6 pm.” He looked impatiently at the clock, already reaching for his phone. However, the screen barely lighted up and the whole group entered the practice room almost at the same time. They were breathing hard and all looked livid. “What…? Did something happen?”

“Hyung…” Kevin started, but Dongho cut him out.

“Hoon is at the hospital. He passed out and hasn’t woken up yet.”

Soohyun’s cellphone slipped through his fingers and crashed hard at the floor.