Two days after my little talk with Mi-chan Taeyong was finally back. Determined to do something about our situation and after our first recording session I approached him.

“Hey, Taeyong,” I said and he looked at me. “Would you like to get some dinner, just the two of us?” The dinner had been a suggestion of Mi-chan's that I planned to follow.

I saw Taeyong's cheeks turning a bit pink. Was that a good sign?

Apparently it was because after a moment or two he said “Yeah, sure.”

---

When Yuta and I left the studio the sun was about to set and gave the sky a nice warm colour. Yuta led me to his car and opened the door for me. I couldn't help but blush even more than I already did. I stepped past Yuta and slid into the car.

What was this about...? I couldn't help but wonder. Was this supposed to be a date or just a friendly dinner between friends? Though I couldn't help but to hope for the former I warned myself not to get those hopes too high. We didn't have much time left with each other anyway and getting my hopes too high would only lead to even more pain.

Yuta got into the driver's seat and started our journey to whatever restaurant Yuta had picked. Throughout the drive I sat in my seat unable to calm down. My hands were sweating and because I was unsure where to look I just stared out the window and looked at the other cars passing ours. From time to time I had the feeling of Yuta looking briefly at me but that could've been my nerves. What was I supposed to do? I was nervous like I hadn't been in ages. Even at concerts I wasn't this nervous.

“The streets of Tokyo are quite beautiful at night, aren't they?” Yuta said. He probably couldn't stand the silence. Absentmindedly I nooded my head. Yuta was right. They really were beautiful. I mean they were very bright, as bright as one would expect from one of the world's largest cities, but nonetheless beautiful.

However in this moment even the beauty of Tokyo's streets at night couldn't calm my nerves. Yuta probably noticed because he didn't say another word for the rest of the ride. Not that it was a long one. Given that it was already quite late, the streets weren't quite as packed as during day time. Because of that I found myself in front of a traditional Japanese restaurant only 15 minutes later.

“Come on,” Yuta said. “This is my favourite restaurant in Tokyo.” I followed him inside, knowing that I was being rather awkward. I sat down across from Yuta, staring onto the table.

“Do you...” he began. “Don't you want to be here?” In shock I looked up. Had I made him feel that way?

“No!” I almost yelled. “I mean... Of course I want to be here but...” Yuta stared expectantly into my eyes, the relief already visible. “We have never done anything just the two of us and I'm a little nervous...”

Yuta grinned his usual toothy grin and I felt the embarrassment rising into my cheeks.

“I see,” he said and laughed. “And I thought I had pressured you, or something.”

I hid my burning cheeks behind the menu. Why did I always have to be so embarrassing?

It was only after our food and drnks came that the awkward atmosphere around us calmed down and we were able to just talk normally without feeling too embarrassed.

“That reminds me,” I started. “I never asked you where you're from.” I had told Yuta about Seoul but I never asked where his home town was.

“Osaka,” he said and grinned. “Ever been there?”

“No, never.”

“Really? You have to go one day! I'll even show you around.” If Yuta hadn't been excited he certainly was now. “You will love it!” I smied at his behaviour. Whenever Yuta was getting excited like this he would show the brightest smile he was capable of. Maybe it was because I was in love with him, but that exact smile Yuta was showing me right now was the one thing I hoped he would never lose. No matter what he faced in life. It was blinding, almost painfully so because I couldn't remember the last time I had smiled at someone that way. The last time I had felt enough excitement to smile that way. And yet, it was also warm and inviting and sincere and it left me hoping that one day, if I only stayed by Yuta's side, I would be able to smile like that again.

“But you live in Tokyo now?” Yuta shook his head as he gulped down the last bits of his drink.

“No, I switch my time between Osaka and Tokyo.” I looked at him confused. “I mean I have an apartment in Tokyo as well as one in Osaka. Most of my work is in Tokyo, but in between I have breaks and the Kansai region is also known for its arts, so I also have quite a few jobs over there, so I live in Osaka whenever I have a break or a job in the area around, like in Kyoto,” Yuta explained and I nodded my head. That did make sense. Then Yuta added “It's the same for Miako, she's also from Osaka,” and I immediately felt the jealousy flair up in my gut. Of course I knew that it made no sense. As far as I knew Yuta and Himura-san were only friends and she had been nothing but kind to me. But whenever I had visited the film studios she was fussing over him, along with Yamanaka-san. Silently I scolded myself for thinking bad of Yuta's friends. Maybe Yuta had noticed my sudden fowl mood, because he changed the topic from him to me.

“What about your family,” he asked. “Do they all live in Seoul?”

I nodded. “Yes, both my parents and my older sister.”

“And what do they do?” Yuta asked further. Just as I was about to answer I was interrupted by a call. Quickly I checked the caller ID. All it took was the name to drain all the blood from my face. 'Thea' was written there on my phone display, in big bright letters. Why would she call now out of all times? She hadn't called since I had the break down, what could she want.

My raging thoughts were interrupted by Yuta who was asking me if everything was alright with a worried look on his face.

“Excuse me for a moment,” I said in stead of answering his question and stood up to go outside. As soon as the front door was closed behind me I answered.

“What do you want?” I tried to keep my voice steady but I knew I failed. The tremble in my voice was clearly audible. Once I realized she wasn't going to answer, I started shaking. What was she doing? I was afraid. Why wasn't she answering, why did she stay silent? I managed to listen to the silence of my caller for about a minute until I finally hung up and went back inside. I knew I was still shaking, I felt it. I knew Yuta had noticed.

Once again Yuta asked me if everything was alright. Swallowing slightly, I nodded and when I decided I could trust my voice again I said “yes,”. I knew Yuta didn't believe me, I knew he wanted answers, but I also knew he wasn't going to force me to answer. Instead I smiled apologetically at him and hoped he would understand.

---

When Taeyong had left I felt worried. He suddenly had become so pale, as if the person calling him was the most frightening person Taeyong had ever come across. And when he had excused himself instead of answering his question I knew it was nothing Taeyong was willing to discuss with me. It almost hurt me to know Taeyong didn't trust me enough to tell me. Almost. Because I could fully well understand that there were topics one did not want to discuss with anybody even if that person was your friend. I just hoped that Taeyong would trust me enough one day to actually tell me. And the first step into that direction was confessing my feelings. I knew that Taeyong and I didn't have much time left together and I planned to at least confess before Taeyong had to go back.

When Taeyong returned I immediately say that he was trembling. Whoever had called him had frightened him enough to make him visibly shake. Just to be sure I asked once again if everything was alright, but when he answered “yes,” I knew he had not changed his opinion. I knew I shouldn't further press into the matter and I didn't.

We tried to enjoy the rest of our dinner, but we both knew that our mood was quite ruined. About half an hour after the call we paid and left the restaurant. We both silently entered my car and I started to head towards Taeyong's hotel. The drive there took way longer than the one from the studio to the restaurant, but just like the one before, it was completely silent. It wasn't awkward, but not exactly comfortable either. Taeyong's eyes were fixed on the outside and mine on the road. Neither of us dared to make any sound.

After about 45 minutes of silent driving I parked in front of his hotel. Like you could expect from any hotel that was hosting a celebrity there were a ton of photographers in front of the entrance, however they didn't seem to notice us, in fact, most were looking as though they were ready to pack up.

“I don't think they will notice you,” I said, shooting Taeyong something that was almost a grin. Said almost-grin however vanished as soon as it came when I saw Taeyong not making any kind of move to leave my car.

“Taeyong?” I asked softly and Taeyong looked up into my eyes. He looked like he was ready to cry. “Taeyong, is everything alright?” I asked again and placed my hand on his shoulder. He started shaking his head and a few tears were actually rolling down his cheeks now. Then he raised his and to clench on my shirt, drew in a deep breath and looked down again.

“Please... Don't leave me alone...” As much as that plea confused me I was ready to comply with everything he wished for. So I offered him the only thing I could think of. “Do you want to come to my place?” Taeyong only nodded as an answer and let go of my sleeve. I immediately started the engine and drove into the direction we were coming from.

I the lights in m apartment and stepped aside to let Taeyong enter. He was looking on the ground and just beside me.

“Shouldn't you call your manager?” I asked and he nodded. While he called his manager I prepared some sheets for me to sleep on. I had decided to give Taeyong my bed and to sleep on the couch. My apartment in Tokyo wasn't as big as the one in Osaka, so I had no guest room he could have stayed in.

I saw Taeyong looking at me from the entrance as I was preparing my bed for the night. He looked at me weirdly. I shot him a questioning look.

“What are you doing..?” he asked as if he didn't see any sense in my actions.

“I'm preparing my bed for the night. I don't have a guest room so I decided to give you my bed and sleep on the couch myself.” Despite his sullen mood he smiled at me. Confused I stared at him as he chuckled silently as if I wasn't present.

“What is it?” I asked, irritated.

“It's nothing,” he said, still smiling at me. “I just think that's really cute, that's all.” I immediately felt my cheeks heating up and the butterflies in my stomach stir into motion. Had Taeyong just called me cute? Where did that shy and silent Taeyong go to? Had he vanished? He couldn't have meant that, could he? Oh my god, calm down Yuta, calm down! While I was still trying to make my steadily deepening blush disappear Taeyong started talking again. “But...” Now his cheeks were darkening as well. I pulled myself together and patiently waited for him to continue. “N-Never mind.” Unsure if I should further push him to tell me or not I let it go. This was all too confusing for me.

I showed Taeyong my bedroom and the bath and then gave him clothes to change into after he took a bath. Then, while Taeyong was freshening up I prepared something for him and myself to dink during the night and placed his drink beside my bed. Then I waited.

About after 20 minutes Taeyong left my bath and I went in myself to freshen up. It was already after midnight when we finally turned off all the lights and went to bed.