“No.”

“No?” Quiet amusement, a quizzical curiosity as the childlike face the Spider had taken cocked its head. “Why not?”

Eunha bit down on her lip, fists clenching on the cloudy ground of the dreamscape. Her fingers dug into a solid nothingness, reminding her of the illusion she had tried to grasp earlier. And that was all it was: an illusion.

“I said, I will not,” she repeated her statement, bowing her head as she gathered her resolve, eyes reddening from the effort. 

Lord knows it was tempting. So easy to just say yes, and damn Yuju into a cursed existence, no longer herself, and maybe not even fully human anymore. Even with the honeyed promises from the spirit, how could her conscience survive knowing what she had done? 

I will treasure what is before me. Illusions fade. She was Eunha in this life, not Jung Eunbi, and Yuju was not Choi Yuna. She couldn’t chase the shadows of the past life forever. 

Who do you really love? The ghost of her conscience had asked earlier. Eunha tightened her fists against the ground, shoulders trembling. She wanted so badly to be loved, but she didn’t want it to be built upon a lie. Especially a lie of her own making.

“I won’t strip that choice away from Yuju. She’s her own person, and if I shape her according to my own desires, she won’t be the same person I fell in love to begin with.” Tears began to fall from Eunha’s eyes as she pushed herself off the ground into a crouch, head lowered.

“I won’t do that to her. I can’t. It just isn’t right. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did it.”

“Do you understand what you’re giving up?” The Spider stretched lazily, stepping into Eunha’s line of sight and plopping down on the ground to squint into her face. “Will she even be grateful for your choice? You would end up with nothing this way.”

“She will be safe. She will be alright, and that will be enough for me.” Flames sprung into existence all around Eunha, her skin patterning into iriscident scales as her eyes flared gold, and the Spider yelped as a burst of flame rushed towards it.

“Hey! What’s that for?”

Eunha straightened up, crackling flames swirling around her as she pointed one finger at the singed Spider, who was patting the flames away with an offended expression.

“You’re part of the problem. I’ll figure out how to fix her myself. I will make no deals with you, spirit. Prepare to die.”

“Jeez, you’re aggressive,” the Spider remarked, shifting into a gangly, teenage version of Yuju to match Eunha’s height. The redheaded spirit glanced to one side.

“So does this pass your test then?”

Eunha paused in mid-cast, a swirling orb of fire gathering in her palm as her irises narrowed in the direction where the spirit was looking. Her eyes widened when the air shimmered in place, a ghostly pale version of Yuju coalescing into existence.

It was Yuju, yet not quite it at the same time. Eunha hesitated, her gaze wavering between the crimson outline of the Spider and the ghost-white copy of Yuju that hovered like an incomplete image next to it. 

“I do not understand her altruism, but it is of benefit to me.” Ghost Yuju’s eyes were hollow, devoid of emotion and even basic humanity. There was only a practical cynicism if one dug deeply enough, and Eunha felt her heart tighten painfully at the cold scrutiny in those empty eyes. Something essential was missing from this Yuju, and it felt wrong to see her like this.

“Who are you?” Eunha demanded, her flames still ready around her. The Spider grinned.

“One part of the girl you seek. I found this one early...or rather, she found me.” The crimson spirit shrugged. “I learned a lot talking to her, and she from me. She remembers what happened, at least. Makes things easier.”

“Everyone wants something. Nothing is for free.” The Yuju copy echoed tonelessly, gaze shifting over to the complacent spirit. “Not even you.”

“Hey, I just want to exist. That’s not too much to ask.” The spirit looked a little defensive. It turned to Eunha.

“See, there’s more of her, lurking around like this. All different, all a part of her. I can talk to this one, but the rest… I can’t get close to them.” The Spider shrugged helplessly, then looked directly at Eunha.

“Whether or not you take my offer -- and it’s still on the table just so you know -- you’ll need to find the other fragments of her before we can fix anything. I can’t do it, but you just might be able to.” It grinned.

“Find all the lost parts of her, and then we talk.” The Spider winked, throwing a thumbs up at the somewhat baffled Eunha.

“You might learn a few things along the way!”

She found Sorrow on a green field, digging with her bare hands. All around her, newly raised mounds in tribute to the forgotten dead. Forgotten by the world, but not by the lone figure memorializing them in her mind.

Eunha approached the kneeling figure cautiously, but was ignored by the penitent Yuju copy who still had her head bowed as she sorted the ghostly bones in a pit before her. The mage watched her work in silence, noting how the ethereal bones seemed to slice into her hands as the girl arranged a full set of bones for the next grave. 

The cuts matched the scars Yuju had on her hands in real life, and Eunha covered with one hand, realising that deep down, Yuju had always been mourning the dead, even if she did not consciously remember.

Looking up, the field seemed to stretch endlessly, raised mounds of earth in orderly rows. How long had she been doing this? Eunha could not know, and her heart ached for this side of Yuju she had never known. 

Kneeling down next to Yuju's Sorrow, Eunha reached out and clasped a hand over the scarred fingers. The pale soul fragment looked up in response, eyes mournful and filled with a distant guilt. A survivor's guilt.

"It's more than enough, you don't have to do this forever." Eunha gripped her hands tightly, trying to warm them in hers.

"It's not your fault, it never was."

Pale lips moved soundlessly, large eyes wide and sorrowful. Eunha pulled her into an embrace, trying her best to comfort the grieving part of Yuju.

"I couldn't save anyone…" Quiet words, tinged with regret and self recrimination. "I hear them all the time, crying. Why couldn't I save them?"

Eunha her hair soothingly. "You were trapped too. You were hurt. There was nothing you could have done."

"But I lived, where they didn't. How could I have gone on?" There was a self loathing in her voice. "I burnt it all down, but it was all for nothing."

"So many dead. I hear them all; their prayers, their begging, their hopes and their despair. I heard them die, and I cannot forget."

"If you cannot forget, then don't. But don't punish yourself for something you had no control over." Eunha pushed away from Sorrow, gripping her firmly by her shoulders as she looked into her eyes.

"The dead are in the past. You are here, alive in the now, where they are not. You cannot change what has already happened, but you can choose what happens next." Eunha lifts Sorrow's scarred hands to her lips, kissing them gently.

"You might not have been able to save them, but you can still honour their memories. You can avenge them, if you wish." Eunha tightens her grip, leaning forward to touch her forehead to the grief stricken part of Yuju's soul.

"No matter what you choose, I will be with you. This I promise."

Sorrow's eyes filled with a wary hope. She returned Eunha's grip uncertainly, voice soft.

"Can I really?"

"Yes, you are worth everything in the world and more. Come with me, and we'll fix things together."

Sorrow shimmered like a mirage in the haze, a hesitant smile blooming on her pale face. Eunha tried to hold on, but the ghost faded away like a bad dream. Her lips moved, and Eunha thought she could almost hear the whispered words.

"Thank you, I will remember."

And so along she went, gathering up the pieces of Yuju's soul, offering comfort where she could, and being given a glimpse into the broken places that had torn them apart. 

Rage was found amidst the burning ruins, lashing out at the shadows of tortures past, wrapped up in pain. Eunha took a few scars on her behalf, promised to accompany her to seek out those responsible for her pain. Bloody tears tracked down the bone white of Anger's face, feeding into the crooked smile born from the promise of vengeance.

Fear was found strapped to an operating table, reliving the horrors of being cut open, suffering and powerless, over and again. Eunha wept as she tore the shackles away, promising to protect her from those who would harm her. Never again.

Innocence was caged in a dark room, scrunched up in a corner, no more than a little girl hugging her knees to herself. Even as Eunha coaxed her with little fire puppets to come out of the dark, she never let go of the tattered blanket that covered her lap, clutching onto it like a safety net. When Eunha finally took hold of her hand, it was small and cold and wet with tears. Wide eyes blinked in the light, large and unassuming, with neither hope nor expectation. 

With every fragment she found, Eunha felt like her heart might break. She had no idea how long it took to gather each and every piece. It could have been hours, or just minutes. Perhaps longer? She couldn't know, but it wore on her own spirit, a shard of herself given in promise to console the wounded parts of Yuju each time. How long has it been since she saw the girl smile honestly? Too long. It was precious beyond measure, she knew now, and she would guard it with her own soul.

Courage awaited her at the end of the river, playing games with Innocence as Anger and Sorrow watched. There was a steady presence to it, the closest thing she remembered of Yuju herself before all this, and she approached with hope in her heart. Surely she had found all that which was lost?

"We're missing her heart, bunny."

The sardonic voice of the Spider echoed suddenly behind her, and Eunha whirled around, fire sputtering from her fingers, weaker than it was at the beginning after her exertions, but enough to fight with if it came down to it.

The Spider, outlined in red as always, shook its head somberly, studying the collection of soul aspects with a critical eye.

"I should have known it wouldn't be so easy. I had hoped that your love for her would coax her heart out, but clearly it was never with you to begin with."

Well, that hurt. Eunha glared at the impudent spirit, strongly tempted to set it aflame just on principle. The Spider seemed to sense her irritation, and put on an ingratiating smile to soothe her.

"Most of her is sleeping now, but if we integrate what we have here, it should work. She'll remember what was lost, and be more or less whole again."

"And what's in it for you?" Eunha asked suspiciously. The Spider grinned, showing even white teeth.

"I need her to acknowledge me, in order to fulfill the bargain between us. If she sets me free, I will no longer be bound, and she'll have no need to sustain me. Is that not what you wanted?"

"But you said we were still missing something…" 

The Spider shrugged nonchalantly. "It mustn't have been very important with the way she gave it away…" It trailed off at the glare it got from Eunha. "Well um, I don't have one and you can't find it, and who really needs a heart to keep going anyway?"

"Where is it?" It wasn't quite a threat, but Eunha managed to make it sound like one. The Spider turned to look at Logic helplessly, the serious fragment of Yuju a silent sentinel the entire time the conversation had been going on.

"Our heart was sent to guard another. It was an equivalent exchange, and we have taken our measure when the need arose."

"Oh, you know, that girl she's so enamoured with. Good thing she did too, I needed a power source to save her when she got shot, and I couldn't draw from anywhere else when I'm in here like this." The Spider explained quickly, and Eunha's eyes widened as she put the pieces together.

"She bonded with Yerin?" There may have been a pinch of envy in her tone. Eunha shook her head to clear her mind of unnecessary thoughts, lips straightening into a thin line.

"So what are we going to do now? And before you start, yes the heart is important we're not leaving it out."

"Well I mean it's not like it's gone or anything, just elsewhere at the moment. I could put them together any way you like, you know, like I mentioned before…"

"Keep talking about that and I will burn you out of existence." This was definitely a threat. Eunha glowered dangerously at the Spider, who backed off a bit from the angry mage.

"Well uh, the main problem here is that she broke off all these pieces because she couldn't cope with, oh, everything I guess." The Spider pointed at Courage, who was letting Innocence climb onto her head like a human playground.

"You could try talking to that one, see if it can do something. Honestly, she seems quite happy like this, all things considered. If I didn't actually need her to wake up and feed me, I'd be quite happy to let her dream forever."

"We'll see about that." Eunha sighed, getting up and squaring her shoulders. 

Yuju was better than this. Surely it would be enough to just remind her of what she could be?

"You need to wake up."

Eunha, not knowing what to start with, decided to be direct. Courage looked up at her with some amusement, almost all too familiar with Yuju's usual mannerisms.

"I know what you have done, and I thank you for it. I have not seen the rest in a while." Courage looked down at Innocence, who was but a child and just sleeping with her head in her lap.

"It has been a long time fighting, and we are tired." Courage lowered its head. " I am tired, and I don't remember what I'm supposed to be fighting for."

Eunha sat down opposite the dejected fragment of Yuju, reaching forward to the hair of Innocence, who was snoring lightly in peace. 

"Is this not enough for you to protect? You are worth it, at least to me." Eunha's voice was low, but sincere. Courage looked up at her, and smiled.

"You are very kind. Perhaps it would have been easier if you had been guarding our heart, but we do not choose lightly, and that decision has already been made and gone."

That straightforward admission pricked a little, but Eunha was used to it by now. The fire mage shook her head.

"Even if you didn't choose me, I still have the right to love you as you are. As you say, it isn't something chosen lightly, and I've made that choice for myself. If not, why would I be here?" Eunha's smile was a little bitter.

"Love makes fools of us all." Courage's smile was gentle, and she reached out to wipe the tear stains on Eunha's face away.

"You have been braver than I am in all this. It shames me, to be what I am and yet less than you are here."

Eunha closed her eyes, remembering everything she had seen along the way of retrieving the broken shards of Yuju's memories, and shook her head decisively.

"No, you have done so well for someone who has been hurt so much. I don't know if I could be as kind to others if I had gone through what you had. You are the bravest person I know, Yuju. You've been carrying this alone all this time, but you don't have to." Eunha raised her voice, gripping Courage's hands in her own.

"I know you are listening, all of you, and if you are tired, then let me be your strength. I know your heart has chosen Yerin," her voice wavered a little here, but strengthened after a second of gathering her resolve.

"But I believe in you, and even if you don't believe in yourself, I will still. So does Yerin, I'm sure, and she needs you too. I don't know what she's doing and why, but if you're stuck here like this, you can't go to her when she needs help." Eunha looked at her straight in the eye.

"And if I know anything about you, you will fight for the people you love. Is that not enough?"

Courage shuddered, and all around them, the different aspects of Yuju seemed to tremble in response, with the Spider looking on with interest.

Fear, surprisingly, was the one who spoke first. A broken, keening voice, like nails scratching across a board.

"It hurts...she hurts like we did. I feel it."

Anger came next, a building rage rising behind a dam of bottled emotion.

"Never again, I say. They must pay."

Sorrow's voice was barely above a whisper, hoarse and aching.

"We won't lose anyone else again."

Logic came up to lock gazes with a stricken Courage, the emotionless voice taut with something akin to tension.

"Remember everything we have lost already."

Innocence said nothing, but she didn't have to. Wide eyes, shaking with fear, clutching on for dear life. Courage lowered her head.

"But I am afraid."

"Bravery isn't about not feeling fear. It's about acting in the face of it." Eunha said suddenly, eyes wet with emotion.

"It's okay to be afraid. I am here with you."

Courage smiled wanly, reaching out and pulling Eunha into a hug. It was warm, and Yuju's voice was feather-light and almost imperceptible as it drifted into the mage's ear.

"Thank you."

A soft kiss on her forehead, and Eunha thought she might cry again at the lingering words in the air, even as the world around them exploded into bright light, draining her of the rest of her energy from the effort of holding things together.

I do love you too.

I always have.