It was the first full meal she had eaten in days, if not weeks. The little girl wolfed it all down quickly, as if afraid it would be stolen from her were she not quick enough. 

Do well, and you will be rewarded.  

That was what the man who brought them here said. She wasn’t the only one taken to this new place, and surrounded by other equally scruffy strangers, the little girl guarded the food she was given warily, wise to the law of the streets. You take as much as you could get, and keep only what you could protect. Only the strongest got to eat their fill.

Was it to be the same here too? Their first real meal had been sumptuous, by the limited standards of the young street rats gathered there. There was more than enough for all of them, but old habits kept them apart, glaring at each other as if they were latent threats. The little girl was no exception, and she quietly hid food that would keep well in her pockets. One could not be too prepared for eventualities.

After they were fed, all of them were sent for some kind of medical screening, and the little girl was made quite uncomfortable by the scrutiny. Not for the first time, she considered making a run for it, but it was winter outside now and it was hard enough not to freeze in the damp tunnels of the Underground. It was warm in here, and there was an abundance of food. She could stay a little longer, until the weather warmed up. More than enough time to plan an escape when the time came.

They were divided up after the initial screening, by some logic the little girl couldn’t fathom. The group was mixed, with some older and some younger, but a lot less than the initial batch she had seen at the place where they were first gathered. What happened to the rest? She could not know, and in the end, it did not matter. She had made the cut, along with these people. They could stay, and as long as they did as they were told, they would be fed. To them, that was enough.

They were put through the paces after a few days of adjustment, strange exercises and made to run until they couldn’t put another foot forward anymore. The little girl always pushed herself, never letting herself be the first to fall, and was always among the last to collapse, exhausted, on the wintery training ground. 

None of the recruits discussed it, even among themselves, but all of them understood that they remained only by the mercy of their handlers. For the sake of a full belly, all of them took to the training like ducks to water, pushing themselves to the limit. 

Every now and then, some of them would be taken away. Not all of them came back, but those who did return were separated from them, the lowliest trainees, and given better food and living arrangements. The implications were clear: do well, survive, and advance. 

When it was finally her turn to be taken away, it would be a lie to say that she wasn’t afraid, but the little girl was also determined. Winter had long since passed by then, but even she could see what the results of the physical training and a steady diet was doing to her. She chose to stay, because it was the fastest way to get stronger. Only the strong could live in the harsh world outside. She was still too small, too weak. It was not yet time for her to leave.

The place they brought her to was sterile and artificial, all steel and glass and white coated adults with their white gloves, giving her the chills just by looking at them. She had seen doctors from afar before, and though they wore the same white coats, it felt different somehow. It almost made the little girl want to run away on instinct, but she reined it in, eyes alert to find a way out should the need arise.

All the corridors looked the same with their unmarked doors and one way windows -- she only found out they were one way after entering a room and realizing you could see out through the wall, but it had looked solid from the outside. Curious indeed.  

Here she was poked and prodded more extensively than at the first health screening, but she endured it stoically enough, the months of training giving her the poker face she needed to pretend it didn’t bother her. She kept her ears pricked to the quiet murmurs of the adults with their cold eyes and white coats, but the big words they used made no sense to her untrained ears. 

She had been separated from the rest of the tiny batch of trainees that were selected for this trip, but it didn’t bother her. It wasn’t like any of them were her friends, and whatever was to come, their seniors implied that they would have to face it alone. Survive, and they’ll give you everything you ever wanted.

She had passed all their tests so far. She could do this. She would not be afraid. Bring it on.

Still, it was hard not to feel fear when strange lights touched her from head to toe. Scanning her, it seemed. Harder it was not to panic when they strapped her down to the table, a cold-eyed doctor coming to sedate her for the procedure that lay ahead. She may have struggled a little, knocking aside some equipment when the needle came close, but it didn’t matter in the end. 

Whatever had to happen, happened. She was powerless to stop it, and when she woke up again, she was in a tiny cell with aching limbs and a pounding headache, dry as she shivered in the dark. Tiny stitches crept up her arms and sides, the only evidence left behind of whatever had been done to her. 

It was confusing and scary and she had no idea what they were doing to her. After that first night, she resolved not to stay, but first she had to figure out if she was in any condition to escape. The operation had left her weak and dizzy, but it did not hinder her from figuring out the simple lock that confined her to the cell. 

She could not go far in her current condition, but that did not stop her from creeping around to get a better sense of the place. Knowing the terrain was half the battle won. She had an excellent sense of direction, and even if the majority of the doors were unmarked, she knew how to get back before she was caught. Even at that young age, she knew better than to show her hand until she was ready to make a break for it. Getting caught just meant they would keep a closer eye on you next time. She wouldn’t be that fool.

Most of the doors were locked, but she had learned a great deal about jiggling electronic locks open from one of the street thieves she had grown up with. It was amazing what she could do with a simple hairclip or wire. The girl kept a habit of keeping those simple tools about her person, and such things were innocuous enough that no one thought to take them away.

Some of the rooms were filled with glowing specimens and other unusual things, and the girl was careful not to touch anything, filled with a kind of fearful awe for things unknown. In some areas, her hair stood on end before she even entered, and a well developed sense of self preservation kept her from going further. 

The whole place was a maze, but she was getting a feel for the layout as she went. Here, the pantry. There, the employee quarters. The way out was somewhere beyond, but she could sense the guards before she even turned the corner, and froze in shadow as one passed right by her, his eyes seeming to slide over and across her without notice. 

Her heart in , she didn’t move until the danger was passed, but she wasn’t about to press her luck further tonight. Taking a different turn instead, she started making her way back to where she was confined, poking open different doors at random along the way to see if there were any other things of interest she could make use of.

Outside the cell she was confined to, she noticed a different, half-hidden door further down the corridor that seemed to melt into the walls, almost indistinguishable if one did not pay close attention. Interest piqued, the little girl scrambled over to it, exploring the edges with curious fingers to try and find the mechanism to open it.

It took a little while, but a hidden panel sprang open at the right touch, and though it was almost out of reach, standing on tiptoes allowed her to jimmy it open the same way she had with the other locks earlier. The door hissed open quietly into a dark room, and the girl crept in, eyes wide as she took in the sterile surroundings, not unlike all the other labs she had poked her head into earlier. 

With one difference. In the far wall, a small cell not unlike the one she had been confined to earlier was embedded, and a tiny bundle of blankets lay in the middle of it. It was dark, but she had good eyes, and she clearly saw the blankets twitch. Not empty then. Another person?

As if sensing her intrusion, the blankets moved again, a tiny head popping out blearily to peer in her general direction. Sleepy eyes studied her, and the little girl in the cell cocked her head questioningly, as if confused by her entry.

Before she knew, she had wandered up to the clear walls of the cell, hands splayed against the cold glass as she knelt down to get a better look at the other girl. The girl in the cell was smaller than her, younger even, it seemed. Groggy too, rubbing at her eyes blearily as she unfolded herself from under the blankets, revealing a plain pale gown not unlike what hospital patients wore. Bandages covered her wrists and elbows, her veins standing stark against pale skin. 

This close, she could see the subtle scars on the girl’s neck, running down beyond the hem of the gown, and she imagined, even further down the rest of her body. It made her look even smaller and frailer than she already did, like a porcelain doll roughly patched together to look whole. 

Abruptly, their eyes met, and she blinked rapidly at the clear, untainted innocence in those eyes, like rain washing away the dust off the streets of her soul. The restlessness in her veins grew calm under that gaze, and before she knew it, she had already opened .

“Your eyes are so pretty. Do you want to come out with me?”

The girl inside only smiled, clutching her blankets close to her as she considered the offer. 

“Are you here to stay too?”

The cautious reply she got in return. The girl thought about it, nodding once, then shaking her head right after. She didn’t know how long she would stay. Or really, if she would even survive whatever they had planned for her. She was in no shape to escape that night, and it was sheer indulgence to even think of stealing this other girl away.

She didn’t even know her, but she wanted to. The girl with the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. She wanted to keep it all to herself.

Take what you want, but keep only what you can protect.

She was still too weak, and it was almost dawn. She had to go back. The other girl in the cell seemed almost disappointed by her vague answer, but there was no surprise in her eyes, merely resignation. 

“I’ll come see you again tomorrow.”

An impulsive promise, to soothe the sadness away. The other girl’s eyes lit up at those words, reaching forward tentatively to place her small hand against the glass, mirroring the hand the girl outside had splayed against it. Thick glass separated them, but still, it felt warm.

“Promise!”

Perhaps it was because of that simple promise that she toughed out the next few days, not even protesting when they ran her through increasingly odd tests, feeling both oddly weakened yet somehow changed after every session. She couldn’t quite explain it, but from the mutterings of the doctors hovering around her, they seemed pleased by what they were doing. She couldn’t tell exactly what it was they were doing, but it hurt every time, even through the anesthetic.

But the nights made it worth the pain. She visited the other girl as promised, though figuring out how to let her out took a little longer than all the doors she had broken through before. The first time she held her hand, she felt her heart soar, and never wanted to let go again. 

She was maybe eight years old at the time. She couldn’t really be sure. No one ever told her when she was born. By the time she had memory, she was alone on the streets, fighting to survive. She had never known what it was like to have someone close to her, looking at her with undiluted trust as this little angel was right now.

She wanted to run, but she didn’t want to leave the girl behind. There were even more scars on her than she first thought, but the younger girl seemed unbothered. They’ll fade, she says, eyes shining with sincere incomprehension. These new ones will be gone soon.

Gone soon. How many had she already endured by then? Something thumped hard in her chest, a dull aching pain, pulling at her heart strings. 

Will you come with me, she asks one night, and the answer was almost cruel in its simplicity.

What is outside?

She takes the little girl with her to the roof exit she had discovered, showing her angel her first glimpse of the world beyond the laboratory. She does not miss the wonder in those wide, gentle eyes, and for the first time in her life she wants something beyond herself. 

I’ll find you again, she promises, even though she knew she had no power over even that. The experiments were almost done, she had one last operation to undergo, and if she lived, she would be sent back to the training facility. Sent away, and with no real way to come back.

Clear eyes in that small serious face, shaking her head at her empty promise. Her angel knew better, it seemed. No one comes back, she says quietly. Only I remain.

She kisses her then; a clumsy, childish assurance. I’ll come back for you. Wait for me.

Beautiful eyes looking back at her, shining brightly. She took that last sight with her, all the way into the operating tables. Held it close, even when the knives descended, and the screaming began. 

There was a lot of pain, and a lot of loss. By the time they sent her back, she was a shadow of herself, her face a shifting mask no one could decipher. A success, and also a failure. They took her in then, broken, and turned her into a good little soldier. 

A good little soldier needs no past. Only the present. And she forgets.

But she dreams of clear, beautiful eyes some nights, and does not remember why. Chases the shadow of beautiful girls, but they were never what she sought, and she moves on, vaguely disappointed yet not knowing why.

At least, not until she finds a wild girl in the woods, with eyes like the sky after a rainstorm. Clear, beautiful, and exactly what she was looking for.

Come with me, she says then.

No, came the reply. 

She does not give up, and chases the girl until she caves. Kept her close, protecting her like no other, for no more reason than to gaze into her eyes, and find some measure of peace in there.

She does not expect to fall in love. No one ever does. 

But it felt right, and she let it be, cherishing the one person who made her heart beat that way. Jung Yerin was a lot of things, but predictable was not one of them. She was selfish, fickle and more than a little rebellious, but for the first time in her life, she finally felt the urge to settle down.

She couldn’t know how long it would last. She was afraid of herself. Afraid that she would hurt her. But she couldn’t keep herself away, couldn’t let it go.

Take what you want, but only keep what you can protect.

I can protect you now. Can I keep you then?

She does not remember what was forgotten, but in the end, she keeps her promise, and finds her angel again. 

And nothing was ever going to make her let go of her again.