Jongin was hanging around someplace around the time Tami came home. His feet led him to nowhere useful. He had been muling about what Sehun had said to him and ended up at the top of a hill overlooking the city. This was a lonely place. A light bulb flickered nearby with lots of moths cluttering around. He sighed, folded his arms over the railing and pouted.

Jongin didn’t have the guts to ring Ayoung. She was busy. He knew she was. She always was. The world needed Ayoung to be a better place, hence Ayoung was always busy taking care of something or other. Jongin was a very small speck on that list of priorities. His being there made little difference.

A voice in his head that sounded eerily like Sehun’s chided him.

 Loser, she doesn’t love you. (Although Sehun had never said such a thing to Jongin in real life, not yet, it was only a matter of time until for-your-factual-information Sehun blurted some nasty things claiming it was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth).

 Ayoung doesn’t have time for you in her life.

 Jongin winced. This was a low blow even for his conscience (which he imagined to be Sehun).

 “Shut up ,” Jongin spoke to the senseless voice he termed his conscience.

 “Ayoung loves me, she’s just busy saving the world. Superheroes are like that. They just…” Jongin trailed off. He didn’t know how to finish that sentence. Did everyone dating a hero feel as lonely as he did at this moment? He’d rather there were protests at night, at least he’d get to see his girlfriend.

 He didn’t have the guts to visit her either. He didn’t know if she was at the office or at home or on some secret mission rescuing parentless kids in the middle of the night from adults who wanted to abuse and exploit them.

 People in relationships had to give in sometimes. Jongin had to give up a lot if he wantned to be with Ayoung.

 Marriage.

 His mother was always pressuring him. Look at this girl, look at that girl, isn’t she pretty, she’s got a fancy degree, this one’s a doctor why don’t you marry her? Should I set up a date? Will I tell her mother we’re interested?

 Jongin wasn’t interested. He reckoned he’d only make the pretty doctors unhappy by marrying one. His heart didn’t have space for any other woman but Ayoung.

 Since he was a little kid he’d always wanted to run some small unconventional business, marry the perfect bride and have children. He imagined this family as being not too rich and not too poor, monetary wise, but full of so much love that riches couldn’t buy.

 Reality was not like that.

 Ayoung didn’t want marriage, she didn’t want kids. She didn’t like that kind of responsibility. He kind of understood why. She was working with all these kids who didn’t have a lot going for them. In a way those kids were her family. She hated that these kids lived the lives they did. She worked hard to change their situation. Having kids of her own would be-

Sickening (a word used by Ayoung to describe the idea of birthing children).

Their ideas were contrasting, his and Ayoung’s. Being with her was hard. Harder now that his mother knew of her existence and called her that girl, as if Ayoung was the bubonic plague. 

Most of the time Mrs. Kim pretended her son wasn’t seeing anyone at all. She was always at him about this girl and that girl. The reason for this being that she wasn’t allowed to visit Ayoung, Jongin had forbid it. He feared the day that his mother and Ayoung met. They were both strong willed women and precious to Jongin, he didn’t want either of them getting hurt by the other.

“It’s hard,” Jongin grumbled.

Then there was his best friend who also disapproved of his relationship. Sehun didn’t use loud words but sometimes Jongin wondered, really wondered what Sehun thought about him and Ayoung being a couple. Mr. I’m-always-right-and-you’re-not was always at his throat for some reason or other and most times Jongin let Sehun do what he wanted because things worked out when Sehun orchestrated them.

However, not today. Today, Jongin felt like Sehun had betrayed him, doomed his relationship with Ayoung by sprouting nonsense. The stuff Sehun had said was appalling for Jongin’s ears. Jongin could take on his mother but when his best friend was against his relationship too, well, that hurt.

Jongin pulled out his phone, pressed the home key and watched the screen light up. He drew his password, an A, in the shape of a half-star. He started at the home screen, thought about calling her and left it off. What would Ayoung think of him if he woke her up in the middle of the night? He didn’t want to be needy. Even the idea of it was-

Dopey, you’re being a dope.

He hadn’t called her today. He called her at least once everyday. This was a given. Perhaps he was clingy as Ayoung sometimes described him. If she didn’t use that word to tell him off, he might have called her more.

“I miss you, I miss you so much.”

This was ridiculous. He’d been with her at the protest yesterday. He shouldn’t have been so quick to miss her but he did. He wanted Ayoung to himself, not having to share her with a boat of protestors and zoo animals, just the two of them even if they did nothing but sit in the same room together at her desk.

Telling the sky how much he missed her must have sent a message to a satellite and directed it to Ayoung. She must have heard the forlorn words of her lover because the next thing he knew was his phone rang. Ayoung was calling.

Jongin panicked a little. Ayoung almost never called. Was something wrong?

He answered the phone, planted the phone to the side of his face, his heart racing.

“Ayoung?”

“Did I wake you?”

“No, I’m out somewhere.”

“Is something wrong?”

Jongin shook his head. “I’m okay.” His tone was a little off but there was nothing wrong with him.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to ask Sehun?”

“Don’t bother with him. We’re not talking. He doesn’t know where I am.”

“Did you guys fight about the zoo thing?”

“No.”

“Did Sehun bad-mouth me or something?”

“No.”

“Jongin, where are you I’ll come over?”

“No, it’s late. You have work in the morning. I was just about to head home anyway.”

“Are you going to tell me where you are, or do I have to cycle around the city looking for you?” Ayoung demanded.

"I'm at the date spot we used to visit when you were still a student."

"Where's that?"

"The hill, do you remember?"

"The hill?" Ayoung paused to recollect. "That was so long ago. What are you doing there?"

"Visiting forgotten memories, I guess."

"Will you be long? Should I come over?"

He wanted to say please come but he said nothing about that. "I can see your apartment block from here."

"Wait for me."

He decided to do that, wondering how she could forget this place when it meant so much to him. Was it just him who remembered the past, hung onto it because it was precious only to him?

It took Ayoung about 5 minutes to get there. Jongin was surprised to see how quick she was. Slightly winded, her hair was a mess and her cheeks were pink from the exercise. She hopped off her bike. Left it against the railing on the hill and ran up to him.

"Are you okay?" Was the first thing she said.

"'m awright," Jongin shrugged casually, brushing off the weight of the question.

She tilted her head and gave him a quizzical look, one that was both questioning and disapproving.

"Why did you come here so late?"

"I just wanted to look at the stars." This was a complete lie. The flatness of his tone didn't bother to mask his fib.

He reached out to pat her out-of-place hair down. Ayoung's hair was as soft as silk and abundant, which was why she always complained about it. Her hair grew really fast too. He could swear it had gotten longer since the day before.

"Don't you have work to do?" Jongin inquired, he recalled her complaining about research.

"Stop beating about the bush!" Ayoung exploded. She pinched his arm. "Something is wrong and you're not telling me what that is."

Jongin looked hurt. "I was missing you and then you came. I've nothing to worry about."

"Then why didn't you ring me? You ring me everyday without fail but today there was no call."

"I didn't want to annoy you. You hate getting my calls."

"You know that but you ring me anyway," she fumed.

"I didn't want to be clingy anymore. I don't want you to hate me in the long run."

"I won't hate you. Why would I hate you? It's true that you call me at the most inconvenient time but I'm used to that now. I was waiting for your call all day. You never called so I rang you and you sounded so I don't know, so unlike yourself. I rushed over. Now you won't tell me what the problem is. You're being so frustrating. I left a whole pile of paperwork behind to come and see you."

"I know, I'm sorry. Nothing's wrong. I was just missing the old days when we used to hang out here. I'd sneak out of study to come here and have pot noodles with you, watch you take out your flash cards and try to learn something between breaks you had from your part time job."

Ayoung grinned. "That was tough. I had little over 30 minutes to get away, eat and study. You used to distract me then too."

"I still get in your way, back then and now."

"But it's nice."

"It is?" This was news to Jongin, he always thought he was a bit of a pest and that he irritated her more than anything, being a stumbling block in her way to success.

It was Ayoung's turn to shrug. Jongin was grinning at her and she wondered what she'd said because he was starting to get teary.

"Oh, Ayoung! That was so sweet." He threw his arms around her. She thought she would suffocate in his gorilla arms.

"Get off me!"

He kissed both her cheeks and then .

"I don't care what anyone says, I love you," Jongin proclaimed, cradling her in his arms.

Ayoung flushed under the flickering lamp post. Jongin was delighted to see the red rush to her cheeks. He chuckled.

It felt good to hold her and be alone with her. He hated having to share her with the rest of the world.

"I missed you all day," he told her. "You don't know anything." He pressed his lips against her forehead. "You need to take a day off work, just spend a day with me, alone, just the two of us."

Ayoung flinched. She wasn't planning on doing anything like that. She knew what being alone with your boyfriend meant and she didn't want that, not that she was going to tell the sentimental Jongin that. He'd wear that wounded look that she hated.

"If you missed me, you could have called and come over like you normally do."

"I thought I'd get in your way. I hate being in your way."

"I'm used to having you in my way. You've been getting in my way for years."

"I know, it still feels wrong."

"It's fine, I said so."

Jongin smirked. That horrible feeling he'd left the house with was gone. Now that he was with her, everything would be okay.

"Look at the stars," he indicated to the cloudless, pitch dark sky overlooking the city. Not many lights twinkled now because most of the world was asleep.

Ayoung rolled her eyes. The only stars she was seeing was a load of research papers she had to catch up on. She rested her head against his strong chest.

"You've started going to the gym again," she noted.

"Can you tell?" He flexed his biceps to make a point.

Ayoung rolled her eyes to Heaven. "Yes, Mr. Muscle, I can. You're not squishy anymore."

"I was never squishy!"

"Whatever you say, Jongin. Whatever you say."

"That's so unfair! I know I stopped going to the gym for a bit but I had a business to start and got caught up with work."

"Excuses, excuses."

"Ayoung!"

"It's late, I've got to get back. If you've nowhere to go, do you wanna come with? I still have some things to look over but you're free to stay if you promise not to be too distracting."

Jongin welcomed the invitation. He had to show Sehun that he was still mad at him. Going home with his tail between his legs wasn't an option. Ayoung's place seemed much better than having to crash at a public bath.

They decided to walk. Jongin took Ayoung's bike, insisting that he'd walk it. Normally she would have argued and taken it from him because she didn't believe that men should carry things when women were well able to. Today she didn't argue. Jongin found that strange. Was something wrong w