If there was one thing Sooyoung absolutely hated about her heat, it was losing herself.

She’s aware that it’s just a biological thing. It’s like a built-in software; their need to bear children and to have an alpha take them. She hated that it had to be like this violent and brutal and self-agonizing. She hated that she becomes a -crazed fiend, only wanting to be filled with an alpha, not thinking about anything but I want to be filled, I need to be filled, I want an alpha. 

Sooyoung wasn’t like that. She hated being pushed into the role that she wholeheartedly despised.

She can’t rely too much on suppressants to dampen the effects of her heat if she wanted to have children. She knew, without the influence of her being an omega, that she wanted children when the time (and right person) comes. Sooyoung was a proud omega through and through, but whenever her heat comes around, she couldn’t help but despise it.

So when she wakes up like her body was right under the sun, she started cursing the world for making her an omega. It felt like her insides were burning with a phantom itch inside her. The omega inside her was screaming to get out, to find an alpha, to be filled and claimed and taken.

Sooyoung could only writhe in pain, eyes closed, and felt herself starting to lose consciousness. She knew that if she were to pass out, the omega in her was going to take over. She dug her nails against her palms, hoping that the pain was going to keep her awake.

The heat suddenly intensified when something came in contact with her shoulder, shaking her softly. Beneath hers, Sooyoung picked up a familiar woody-musky scent and a voice calling out to her. “… wake up.”

Sooyoung used all of her strength to open her eyes. A silhouette was standing close. She felt tears forming in her eyes when she couldn’t see her. “Unnie?” she called out. “Unnie?”

She knew that Seulgi replied but she couldn’t hear anything. She focused all of her strength and willpower to really look at the person before her. Seulgi was illuminated by the light from the lamp on the nightstand, monolid eyes filled with worry. Her clothes and hair were disheveled. There was a worried frown on her face and Joy couldn’t look away.

God, why is she so beautiful?

Sooyoung reached out her hands, grabbed Seulgi’s collar, and the next thing she knew, there were already soft lips against hers.

And, just like that, Sooyoung out.

Another thing that Sooyoung hated about her heats was losing consciousness.

Not in the literal sense, of course. She’s conscious and she’s aware of it but she’s not Sooyoung. She’s omega Sooyoung, the -crazed version of herself. If omega Sooyoung was a person separate from her, Sooyoung wouldn’t hesitate to give her a good smack on the face.

Sooyoung would always barely stay conscious for the first two days of her heat. She couldn’t even remember her thoughts or if she’s thinking at all. To Sooyoung, it felt like being underwater. You know there are lights and sounds and everything but, at the same time, you can’t see or hear anything. Sooyoung didn’t know how to exactly explain it because the last time she tried, Hayoung, her stylist who was a beta, looked at her like she grew two heads.

A goddess’s thoughts are hard to comprehend by mere mortals, she remembered thinking that to comfort herself.

Whenever she was conscious, she always wished she wasn’t. Nobody wants to wake up on stained sheets with sticky clothes and scorching hot body (but not the scorching hot body Sooyoung wished for).

The omega braced herself when she felt herself getting conscious, like swimming to the surface to get air. Imagine her surprise when she realized she was dressed in clean pajamas, was sleeping on clean sheets, and wasn’t drowning in sweat.

But before she could wonder who, what, why, and when, Sooyoung faded back to unconsciousness.

Sooyoung spent the first two days in and out of consciousness, and always in a new pair of pajamas and clean sheets.

For all omegas, the third day was the worst.

It’s the time when the hormones come rushing down and the phantom itch starts spreading all throughout her body. No matter how much she touched and tried to relieve herself, the phantom itch never went away and simply intensified with every attempt.

If the first two days felt like being submerged in water, the third day felt like being completely blanketed with total darkness. She knew that her omega side was taking full control of herself, doing all things that she would never normally do under all circumstances. But she couldn’t do anything. Not when she’s stuck in this darkness with nothing but her thoughts.

One thing was for sure: she was going to apologize to Seulgi after everything.

She wondered how the alpha was fairing. They already agreed not to do it and Seulgi was the one to keep her promise. Or, at least, that’s what Sooyoung has seen so far. She knew better than to believe an alpha blindly. Sooyoung already learned that the hard way.

But there was something about Seulgi that was just making her want to trust the alpha. Maybe it was because of her dumb, bear smile, or how she always bought her chicken or how she respected Sooyoung or how she’s been showing nothing but kindness even if Sooyoung was acting like a total .

Deep inside, Sooyoung knew that she already trusted Seulgi. Trusted the alpha enough to let her take care of her in her heats. Trusted that she was going to respect her, just like what she showed these past days.

Not even her one and only alpha best friend, Wendy, has seen or taken care of Sooyoung in her heats. Wendy always visited after though, only when Sooyoung was sane again and not constantly looking for an alpha to screw her.

She knew this was dangerous. Seulgi was dangerous. Little by little, Seulgi was destroying the walls Sooyoung carefully built around her heart. Her stupid plan to act all y was backfiring all because Seulgi had to be kind, gentle, generous, and dumb rather than the she expected her to be. She never retaliated, and always understood and respected Sooyoung.

She’s such a strange alpha, she thought.

Was it bad that Sooyoung didn’t want her to stop?

The fourth day was the same as the first and the second, although she stayed conscious for much longer hours.

It was 8 in the morning when she woke up. The effects of her third day were terrorizing her body, starting from the dull ache in between her legs, sore body (especially her hands and arms), and a non-existent sense of balance. She looked down and saw herself wearing a new pair of pajamas, patterned with adorable, cartoon bears. 

Sooyoung couldn’t stop herself from smiling. The pajamas smelled like Seulgi and lavender fabric conditioner. Kang Seulgi was an adorable person.

Sooyoung felt her stomach rumble. She knew that she’s been eating nothing but bananas since she could still taste the aftertaste. She forced herself to get out of the bed, even if her legs were protesting in pain. Ignoring the tremors of her heat, she went out of the room.

“Unnie?” she called out. Her voice was hoarse and dry. Sooyoung cleared . “Seulgi-unnie?”

No one answered. Sooyoung looked around and realized that the penthouse was deserted. Where’s unnie? 

She hummed in wonder as she walked towards the kitchen. On the counter, there was a bowl covered by a lid with a yellow sticky note on top. Sooyoung took a banana from the fruit basket and chewed on it as she read the note.

i don’t know if you’ll be able to read this but i read that omegas usually get conscious on day 4… i’m not sure. btw! i’ll be buying groceries! and i left tteokbokki… do you like tteokbokki? hehe i’ll be back! –seulgi

Sooyoung shook her head, giggling to herself. She didn’t know why but she could hear Seulgi’s voice when she was reading the note. Everything about the note was just so Seulgi, especially with her personal signature above her name. 

The omega grabbed a spoon, threw the banana peel, and sat on one of the bar stools. When she opened the lid of the bowl, she was greeted with the familiar scent of sweet and spicy sauce. Sooyoung’s stomach grumbled and wasted no time to gobble all the food down.

Why does this taste familiar? Sooyoung wondered three spoons later. She checked the label of the bowl and, to her surprise, it was from her favorite tteokbokki shop. It was the one in a narrow alley near Seulgi’s office; a small shop but with high-quality tteokbokki. She remembered?

Sooyoung was so engrossed with eating and thinking that she didn’t notice the door opening. She jolted with a yelp when she heard the door shut loudly.

“Joy?” Sooyoung heard Seulgi from the living room.

“I’m in the kitchen, unnie!” Sooyoung said as she hurriedly finished eating the rest of the tteokbokki. She didn’t know why her heart was fluttering and why she seemed anxious all of a sudden. Effects of the heat, she reasoned, even when she knew it wasn’t. 

Seulgi emerged from the living room. She was wearing her go-to bomber jacket – the one that boggled Sooyoung because Seulgi was just wearing it casually when it was a Saint Laurent. It should be illegal to casually wear a jacket that expensive and look so damn good with it.

The alpha placed the paper bags she was carrying on the counter and looked at Sooyoung with a smile. “I’m sorry I took so long.” Her smile turned sheepish and Sooyoung’s chest bubbled. 

“It’s okay, unnie.” The younger woman smiled back. It almost felt like just seeing Seulgi’s smile washed away all of her exhaustion from the past days. Almost. “I just woke up.”

“Are you hungry?”

Seulgi looked so hopeful, so something, that Sooyoung didn’t have it in her to say no. Besides, she really was hungry. “Yes.”

Seulgi’s smile turned so bright Sooyoung swore she was going to get blinded. She immediately sifted through the bags, taking out the things she brought. With sheer amusement and half terror, Sooyoung realized that everything Seulgi bought was the expensive ones. “Do you want to eat ramyun?” 

“Sure.”

Sooyoung watched idly as Seulgi skipped towards the shelves, taking out a golden-colored pot, humming to herself. Before the older woman started cooking, she took off her jacket and – oh.

Sooyoung’s throat went dry.

Seulgi was wearing a white muscle tee.

As a model, Sooyoung has worked with various types of bodies. She has worked with extremely skinny models and men whose bodies looked straight out of a Greek sculpture. However, Seulgi was far from those. So why was Sooyoung drooling at the sight of those biceps?

She didn’t know why she couldn’t take her eyes off those lean biceps when it wasn’t even half of those bulging muscles of the men (and some women) she worked with before. But the more Sooyoung stared, the more obvious it became that Seulgi worked out a lot, judging how well-formed they are. She was just curious that’s why she was staring. Definitely not because she finds it hot or something. Definitely not.

I wonder, a more sinister version of her voice said, how it would feel like if it’s wrapped around your body as she fu—

She felt a familiar, hot coil in her stomach and she unconsciously let out a moan.

Oh no.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?), Seulgi mistook the moan she let out for something else. “Joy?” Seulgi turned off the stove and turned around, eyebrows knitted in a worried frown. Sooyoung finally had a view of Seulgi’s prominent collarbones and toned arms and—why is it getting hot? “Are you okay?”

“Don’t!” Sooyoung yelped as Seulgi tried to move closer. Her nose caught a whiff of the alpha’s smell and she felt tremors in the back of her spine. “Um, m-my heat is back. I have to go back to the bedroom.”

And her legs just had to give out when she’s getting off the stool.

Crap, crap—

Just like in the scene from that cheesy soap opera Sooyoung often watched with Wendy, Seulgi swooped in and caught Sooyoung before she crashed on the floor.

“Let me help you,” Seulgi said. Sooyoung almost didn’t hear what she said with the way her heartbeat echoed loudly in her ears. Her senses were quickly overpowered by everything Seulgi, and she could feel the threads of her sanity snapping as the seconds passed by.

Then, the cherry on top of the situation, Sooyoung felt smooth arms dropping behind her legs and her back. In one swift motion, Sooyoung felt Seulgi lift her up—

“Unnie!”

—and found herself in a bridal carry in Seulgi’s arms.

“It’s okay.” Seulgi chuckled breathily, warm breath against Sooyoung’s cheeks, sending pleasant shivers down her spine. “I won’t let you fall.”

Sooyoung could feel her cheeks flush and she wasn’t sure if it was because of her heat. Feeling her heart drum loudly against her chest, Sooyoung threw away her pride, hesitantly wrapping her arms around Seulgi’s nape and hid her face on the crook of the alpha’s neck.

Seulgi’s scent enveloped her like a warm blanket on a rainy day. The omega that was clawing against her chest seemed to calm down at the scent of the alpha. Sooyoung took an experimental sniff, the now-familiar scent washing down like a calm wave.

If Seulgi knew that Sooyoung was sniffing her, at least she didn’t say anything. 

She tried to distract herself. Tried her damn hardest to keep her mind away from the scent of wooden musk and honeysuckle and jasmine, the feel of tense muscles beneath her legs and back, and the vibrations she felt against Seulgi’s throat, telling her that Seulgi was actually talking to her (not that she could hear). But, even if she counted sheep or visualized a pooping dog, her mind always diverted back to Seulgi.

With a little grunt (that wasn’t hot—no, her were already drenched beforehand and it was definitely not because of that), Seulgi softly placed her down on the bed. Sooyoung was still frozen, her mind trying to keep the omega at bay at least until the older woman gets out and processing what the actual hell just happened.

“Do you want me to lower the air conditioner?” 

“It’s okay.”

“Do you want to eat ramyun later?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Seulgi nodded, more to herself than to Sooyoung. She stood up, fidgeting awkwardly. “I’ll cook it later so it’ll still be warm when you wake up.” Then Seulgi showed her that soft, eyes-closed smile that made her cheeks puff, and Sooyoung thought that maybe she was melting a little bit inside. “I’ll see you later, Joy.”

Seulgi walked away and out of the door, closing it with a soft click.

Sooyoung rolled to her stomach, buried her face on the pillow, and screamed.

The last day came. Sooyoung woke up feeling significantly a lot better than the past few days. Sure, her hands were cramped and both her arms and legs were sore, but at least she was always clean (as clean as an omega in heat could get) and alive.

But then her stomach grumbled and an indescribable craving to eat chicken took over her urge to get ed.

Bok Chicken, specifically.

“Unnie, please,” Sooyoung whined, not even caring that she was looking like she’s a spoiled brat. She was Park Sooyoung—model extraordinaire, heiress of the Park Group, wife of the Kang Seulgi, ultimate chicken lover—and she was going to get whatever the hell she wanted.

“No,” Seulgi answered. Her lips were on a thin line but it was clear in her eyes that her resolve was breaking. Who could resist Park Sooyoung when she acts all whiney? Maybe Wendy but that's mostly because the small alpha already saw Sooyoung at her worst state. “Joy, your heat isn’t over yet. It won’t be good for you to go out.”

“But, unnie,” Sooyoung whined again, latching on Seulgi’s arm for good measure. She ignored the small gasp that came from the alpha, even if her inner omega was beaming with pride. “I want chicken.”

“W-We can just get it delivered.” Seulgi looked away and slowly pulled her arm out of Sooyoung’s reach.

Sooyoung pouted. If it was because of the denial of her rights or her source of heat slipping away, she didn’t know. “It’s different! The atmosphere, the background of people talking, sitting on those wooden seats, the smell of food in the air – it makes the chicken even more delicious, unnie! Trust me, I’m a chicken connoisseur.”

An amused smile made its way to Seulgi’s lips. Sooyoung took it as a sign of her approaching victory.

It was time to bring out the big guns. Sooyoung moved close to Seulgi and stared into her eyes, pouting her lips, and said with the cutest voice she could muster, “Please