SIX

‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ Hyukjae calls from downstairs. ‘I’m sorry, Donghae! See if there’s anything that fits you in my wardrobe? I don’t want to make you any later for work.’

There’s a distant chime as another customer enters the shop.

Upstairs, in Hyukjae’s tiny apartment, Donghae swallows hard and wipes his sweaty palms on his pants.

He’s in Hyukjae’s home.

Now that the other man has left, there’s time for Donghae to look around properly. And when he does, some of his heart-flutters and excitement fade.

Hyukjae lives here?

The shop downstairs is tiny, sandwiched in the leftover space between two larger buildings and Donghae has always felt that the cute size is part of the charm. There’s only room for one or two customers at a time, the others waiting outside, with Hyukjae’s counter and the confectionary stands and big, shiny glass jars taking up almost all the limited space. If Donghae were to stretch out his arms, he’d almost be able to touch the shelving on both sides.

The storage room out back had been no wider, although a little longer

And this upstairs room, where Donghae has seen the lights on late at night when he walked home; he always assumed it was Hyukjae’s kitchen for making sweets.

Actually, now he looks around, it seems that the intended use is as a kitchen. The tiled area where he is seated contains a workbench, burners, and pots hanging on hooks. It’s spotlessly clean, apart from where Hyukjae has spilled water trying to get the chocolate out of Donghae’s shirt. Beyond, there are boxes containing packaging and bows, all neatly labelled and stacked according to size. There is a large refrigerator with typed recipes stuck to the front, and all different shape chocolate moulds carefully arranged on a shelf.

It’s in the cramped leftover spaces that Hyukjae’s personal belongings have been squeezed. The sofa bed takes most of the remaining space, although it’s neatly made. There’s a tiny low table at the end where Hyukjae must sit to eat his meals, judging by the empty ramen cup. An old TV sits on a small cupboard beyond that, the dog treats Donghae had bought for Choco sitting on top.

It’s not an unpleasant room by any means. There is a bright and healthy fern perched in the corner, and there are little tealight candles on the built-in shelves by the sofa. There’s a collection of well-read manga and some little figurines.

But it’s-

It’s so ing small.

Excluding the kitchen area, Hyukjae’s living space is about the same size as Donghae’s bathroom, which is by no means large.

Speaking of which-

Donghae looks around and discovers what he thought was a cupboard is actually the world’s smallest wash room – a toilet and a shower faucet and a drain in the floor and that’s it. There’s one of those suction-cup shelves which holds Hyukjae’s toothbrush, washing things, and a cute little air plant. A jar of body lotion, clearly an extravagance, holds pride of place. Donghae peers closer, just out of- uh, academic interest, definitely not like a stalker- to read what flavour it is. Vanilla Coconut – even Hyukjae’s beauty products are sweet.

Donghae refrains from opening the jar and smelling it, instead backing out of the tiny little bathroom.

Again, it’s very neat and clean.

It’s just-

Everything in the apartment is sort of worn out.

Donghae feels a painful little tug at his heart.

Isn’t the shop doing well?

The more Donghae inspects the room, the more he sees how threadbare it is. The only window has been cracked and carefully repaired with tape, and the overhead lighting is neon tubes, glaring and unnaturally bright. There’s a neatly folded towel under the humming fridge to catch leaking water and the cooking equipment, while spotless, looks older than Hyukjae himself.

‘Did you find anything?’ Hyukjae calls, and Donghae remembers he’s supposed to be finding something to wear, not exploring, so he hurries to the open wardrobe.

It’s- it’s very strange to be going through the other man’s neatly folded clothes. Even though Hyukjae told him to do it, Donghae feels like he’s doing something wrong, like he’s finding out too much.

Like how Hyukjae has a collection of accessories and tight, ripped jeans that Donghae has never seen him wear.

Like how there’s a pair of bunny slippers alongside a worn but clearly treasured pair of sneakers.

Like how he matches and rolls his socks alongside his underwear.

Donghae