FOURTEEN

For the first time in years, Donghae does not get up at 5am to go to the gym before work. Instead he wakes before his alarm and resets it for another hour so he can snuggle back deeper under the covers, wrapping himself around Hyukjae’s warm, sleepy body. The other man murmurs something, not really awake, and shifts until his back is against Donghae’s chest, knees bent so Donghae can fit up against him.

Donghae’s heart jumps, and another part of his anatomy does too. It’s hard not to react, not when he’s spooning the object of his affections, it’s still dark and warm, and he can feel every inch of the other man pressed against him. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands; it’d feel so comfortable to rest them on Hyukjae’s hips, but he doesn’t quite dare. Instead he keeps them unnaturally still and stiff against his own sides like a soldier, tense and fidgeting until Hyukjae gets annoyed and reaches back to grab him, pulling Donghae’s arm over himself as if he’s a blanket, keeping their fingers entwined and nestled comfortably against his chest.

They- they already agreed to cuddle the previous night, so why is Donghae feeling so many butterflies fluttering around in his stomach? It’s not like he’s never shared a bed with anyone before. He and Siwon slept together almost every night for several years, and Siwon was as clingy and invasive as it was possible to get. Donghae loved being cuddled then, but it did not feel like it does now; with Siwon his whole body wasn’t tingling, he didn’t feel like every inch of his skin was electrified from where they touched. For ’s sake, even his toes feel prickles of delight when Hyukjae’s bare foot brushes against them.

‘You ‘kay?’ Hyukjae asks, slurred and sleepy, and Donghae squeezes him in response.

‘Yeah,’ he says.

Understatement of the century.

He has to bite back a groan when Hyukjae moves a little to get comfortable. The way Hyukjae’s holding him means Donghae’s weight has shifted so he’s resting more heavily against him, and Donghae’s so aware of how his own crotch is pressed up against Hyukjae’s . Even the slightest movements are giving his body the wrong idea, and he bites his lip and tries to think of uny things like Mrs Kim telling him off for being late, and the taste of cough medicine.

It doesn’t work.

His mind somehow warps it into Hyukjae scolding him and telling him to get on his knees, and it’s Hyukjae he’s longing to taste, and before he knows it, he’s helplessly . He bites his lip and prays Hyukjae doesn’t notice, can’t feel how his heart is hammering. Donghae’s only wearing sweatpants and the thin fabric isn’t going to hide or restrain anything, but he can’t stop thinking about how Hyukjae kissed him the previous morning, the softness of his lips, the way he moved, the way he felt-

Hyukjae shifts in his arms.

‘Hae?’

He does not sound nearly as sleepy as he had a few minutes ago.

‘Uh,’ Donghae stutters. ‘Uh, I- I’m going to go shower. Just- just so I’m not late for work!’

He rolls out of bed and hurries for the door before he can explode from love and lust, hearing the sheets rustle as Hyukjae sits up.

‘Donghae?’

‘Back soon!’

He’s pretty certain Hyukjae knows exactly why he’s rushing from the room.

He showers and hopes the noise of the water masks any of the little sounds he can’t stifle as he relieves some of his pent up tension, eyes squeezed shut, thinking only of Hyukjae, Hyukjae, Hyukjae.

Then he brushes his teeth, twice, with several different brushes, until he’s minty fresh and feeling increasingly embarrassed.

Hyukjae is sitting on the sofa watching TV when Donghae emerges. He gives Donghae a quick look, and he seems a bit flushed and flustered himself, and for a moment Donghae wonders if he also- if he-

No.

‘Good morning!’ Donghae says, as normally as possible for someone who kind of, sort of obviously ran out of his bedroom to . ‘Are you hungry? I’ll make us smoothies!’

‘Sure!’ Hyukjae says, equally brightly, although when he looks at Donghae there’s something unreadable and searching in his dark, almond-shaped eyes. He comes over to the kitchen counter and watches as Donghae assembles ingredients.

‘On second thoughts,’ he says, after a moment. ‘I might pass on the smoothie. Is that mashed potato?’

‘No,’ Donghae says. ‘It’ll taste nicer than it looks, I promise!’

‘Why don’t we just get something to eat on the way to work?’

Donghae checks his watch. They’ve got plenty of time.

‘Alright,’ he says, and reluctantly puts the kale and other things back in the fridge. He feeds Choco and takes her outside while Hyukjae showers and gets dressed.

It’s not until they’re in the elevator, side by side with Choco between them, that Hyukjae brings it up.

‘That’s the second time,’ he says.

Donghae turns red and then gets confused.

‘S-second?’

‘That you’ve ran out of the bedroom.’

He’s looking straight ahead, not at Donghae. Donghae swallows hard.

‘O-Oh?’

Donghae’s mind is racing. Had Hyukjae been offended by his obvious physical reaction when they were cuddling? Was he going to suggest one of them sleep on the sofa after all? Did he regret the kiss the other morning?

‘I just wanted to tell you,’ Hyukjae says, ‘That you- that you don’t have to.’

‘I don’t have to what?’ Donghae whispers.

‘Leave,’ Hyukjae says. His cheeks are pink.

The door pings and slides open but Donghae is staring at Hyukjae and doesn’t notice, because the implications of that- the fact that Hyukjae doesn’t want him to go when things seem to be heading in a more physical direction-

Hyukjae glances at him and gives him a small, slightly nervous smile. His fingertips just brush over the back of Donghae’s hand.

‘Come on,’ he says. ‘Breakfast?’

Then he and Choco have exited and the shiny elevator doors are closing, nearly whisking Donghae upstairs again before he comes to his senses and hurries after the other man.

He’s smiling so hard it hurts.

They stop for breakfast at a little café near Hyukjae’s shop. It’s not the nicest or the cleanest place Donghae’s ever been, but with Hyukjae on the opposite side of the table he honestly doesn’t care. Mindful that Hyukjae doesn’t have much money he orders extra for himself so that they can share and lets Hyukjae pay for his coffee in return.

They enjoy their food in companionable silence. Hyukjae eats both shares of French toast (Donghae allows himself just one mouthful so Hyukjae doesn’t feel bad), and they watch the commuters stream by on the pavement outside. It starts to get late, but Donghae lingers over the last of his espresso (the third one, he's starting to feel rather jittery), loathe to end the meal and their time together.

Finally he sighs, checks his watch again and starts to gather his things.

‘I better get to work,’ he says. ‘Will you be okay?’

Hyukjae nods and they walk the short distance to the sweet shop together. Donghae still doesn’t feel very happy leaving him by himself.

‘I’ll pick you up after work,’ he says. ‘We can catch the train back together.’

There’s a wordless understanding that Hyukjae will be staying with him again. Hyukjae smiles, Choco under his arm as they stand outside his boarded up little shop. Donghae almost- almost- leans in to kiss him on the cheek before he leaves.

It feels so natural.

He kisses Choco on the top of her little orange head instead and quickly walks away. There’s now nine hours between himself and Hyukjae and it’s going to feel like a lifetime.

‘Wait!’

Hyukjae’s voice stops him and he turns, anxious something is wrong as the other man runs to catch up.

‘What are you doing for lunch?’ Hyukjae asks, breathless.

‘Um,’ Donghae says. ‘Nothing?’

‘Then let me make you something,’ Hyukjae says. ‘To repay you for breakfast, and dinner too. If you want to meet me somewhere I can just drop it off, I won’t hold you up-’

‘I’d love that!’ Donghae feels like the sun has just come out again. ‘Meet me at my work?’

It’s Hyukjae’s turn to look uncertain.

‘Your work?’ he says. ‘But- but isn’t that where…’

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but rubs at his neck awkwardly. Donghae is already fishing around in his bag for a business card.

‘I’m not- I’d rather not meet you there,’ Hyukjae says, but he takes the card anyway. ‘I can just drop off some food if you- if you already have plans.’

Donghae suddenly remembers Hyukjae’s aversion to dentists.

‘We can meet somewhere else!’ he says. ‘Sorry, that was thoughtless of me. I’ll wait by the mall entrance instead?’

‘Yeah,’ Hyukjae says. He doesn’t seem as happy as before, so Donghae bends and kisses Choco’s soft head again, scratching her ears as she wags her tail.

Mrs Kim looks up as he enters, and glares at him as usual.

‘How’s your friend?’

‘He’s gorgeous,’ Donghae says, having spent the rest of the walk there thinking dreamily of how they’d spent the whole night cuddling. Then he realizes where he is.

‘I mean, he’s doing really well!’ he stammers. ‘Thanks to you and your husband!’

He bows deeply, a bit nervous to see what expression might be on the older woman’s face but she just hands him his mail.

‘Your third client cancelled,’ she tells him. ‘And there’s a team meeting this afternoon.’

‘Thanks,’ Donghae says, and flees to his chocolate and candy scented office.

For once he’s not late. He pulls out his phone and finally checks his messages. There’s one from his mother that morning, complaining about his lack of contact over the last few days, and then there