Yewon and Eunbi take a relaxing stroll in the city after their dinner, silent as they let the bustle of the traffic and the crowd envelop them.

"You know, you've changed a bit," Yewon says, suddenly, yet not out of the blue.

Eunbi wrinkles her nose as she turns to Yewon.

"Not a bit," Yewon corrects herself, "You've clearly changed since Yuna ssi has moved in."

Eunbi gives Yewon a brief smile before turning away. She sits still; her lips now do not show a smile nor a frown, but rest peacefully after a thoughtful breath.

"Has love really changed you so much?" Yewon nudges Eunbi, her tone slightly teasing. Yewon watches as Eunbi puts her head down, running her fingers through her hair briefly. She knows that it's more than that.

"My time with Yuna unnie has really made me learn a lot," Eunbi begins, raising her head, "I don’t think it’s just because of getting to know her? Seeing things happen, perhaps, I don’t know, but something’s waking me up. Before this, I never thought a lot about life; I knew I wanted to do music, so I did it. 

“I always tried to have things go my way. Whenever things didn't go my way, I threw a tantrum, and either waited for a solution, or haphazardly tried to make one for myself. I don't think that is right anymore, I don't think it ever was," Eunbi says. 

"Seeing Yuna unnie grief over her grandmother, I realised how much it means to us as people to have those we love with us. Having tried to be with her in that difficult time, struggling as she tried to come to terms with her situation, in ways that implicated things between us as well, it really made me think how things aren't all that simple. I couldn't simply live by having wishes and making them come true anymore," Eunbi shakes her head, bringing it down again.

“You mentioned how everyone has struggled to get to where we all are, but I don’t think I’ve struggled with a lot. My shoulder condition may be life-changing, but instead of a hurdle I had to overcome, it was more of a signpost leading me to the clarinet, telling me I wasn’t meant to be a pianist. 

"And hearing about how unnie has struggled to come here, it makes me ashamed of how easily I've gotten my opportunities since I was a kid." Eunbi rambles, "Blaming her for her attitude, getting mad at her, when I didn't understand how she was feeling at all, was terrible of me. I forgave her because I like her, but now I've learnt, I was at so much fault too, for acting like I understood her when I didn't." Eunbi wonders if whatever she has just said made sense, forgetting already at least half of her lengthy rant.

“It’s okay Eunbi, you were just trying to care for her,” Yewon frowns, “I think you’re taking it a bit too harsh on yourself, Eunbi.”

Eunbi shakes her head, pushing the corners of her lips into a smile, “I’m okay,” she laughs. “Don’t give me that look, I know I’m okay,” she narrows her eyes at Yewon, feeling the intense concern amidst the glare of Yewon’s eyes.

“Okay,” Yewon laughs, “you should be.”

"But well, something tells me that it's more than this, like, more than finding her as someone important to me. I don't think it ends here. I think it's the start. Like I'm slowly beginning to see things for their actuality. And it feels like I've lost something as well. Or I just lack it, I've never had it to begin with. I don't know. But it does bother me, and makes me want to keep certain reactions to myself, instead of getting mad and behaving like I'm mad- which makes me even madder- and creating a mess out of myself again.

“It’s okay I guess, I don’t let it stress me out. I’m not stressed, I think, just behaving differently because I can’t act all the same anymore, not anymore after having learnt all these,” Eunbi concludes.

Yewon nods as she listens, “Well, I’m glad you can talk it out then, I’ll be here to listen if you need to talk about it again anytime.”

Eunbi turns to her, “Thanks, Yewon ah, I’m glad I could tell you all these too.”

Yewon shakes her head, her hair swaying with it.

“Wah,” Eunbi exhales, “suddenly my chest feels so light, having told you everything.”

Yewon laughs. “I’m glad I could be of help.”

Eunbi smiles, “I think I can face this more clearly from now on, now that I’ve spelled my thoughts and emotions out. Maybe it’s not going to be easy working with this change of outlook, but as I said, I’m not stressed, and life goes on anyway, I’ll just work on things from here.”

“You’re pretty optimistic,” Yewon laughs at the somewhat incoherent speech, with Eunbi jumping between points and using repeated words, but is glad that Eunbi is figuring things out. “It’s been nice listening to your troubles too, I don’t think I’ve ever reflected enough about things like this. And now having seen my sister off, married to live a separate life, I’m feeling this thing about ‘people’ more deeply. People around us in our lives,” Yewon sighs, “relationships are such complex things.”

Eunbi clicks her tongue. “Relationships, you say,” she mutters. Yewon laughs and so does she.

“Ah,” Eunbi breathes, “it does feel good to laugh freely like this. Being cautious is so tiresome, though I couldn’t help it.”

“It sure is tiresome,” Yewon nods, “and I’m pretty sure for those at the receiving end of that caution too,” she selects her words with some wariness.

Eunbi blinks and lowers her head. “Yuna unnie must’ve noticed for sure,” she mumbles. Yewon does not reply and lets the clarinettist remain in thought, as guilt consumes her. So this must’ve been the cause of all the awkward air in the house, she thinks. Eunbi huffs. As much as Eunbi feels sorry for her behaviour, she knows that the solution to the issue isn’t an apology, but action, and wills herself to make an effort. 

“Oh, is this it?” Yewon asks as they reach a bus stop where a bus may bring her back to the hotel. 

“Oh?” Eunbi raises her head. “Yeah, it is.”

The girls take a seat, relishing the night autumn breeze. 

“It feels funny though, we’re twenty-eight and reflecting about things like this, contemplating the meaning of life like university students do in late-night conversations in the hallway of the dormitories,” Yewon chuckles.

“Ah, those days, nostalgic,” Eunbi laughs along. “Hey, I think that’s the bus?” she sees it first.

“Ah, okay, thanks,” Yewon slings her bag on her shoulder and stands up, along with Eunbi. “Well, see you again soon Eunbi, thanks for the day,” she smiles.

“Thank you for the day,” Eunbi returns the earnest smile and gives Yewon a warm hug. “See you!” she waves as Yewon boards the bus. 

“Call soon,” Yewon says while they continue to wave their hands. 

Eunbi watches as the bus leaves, before she turns and makes her way back home silently in the city crowd.

Eunbi freezes upon seeing the title of the email. It had come when Eunbi was in the shower; now, standing in the middle of the living room with water dripping from her wet locks as a towel is draped around her shoulders, she stares at her mobile phone held in her hands with trembling fingers. 

Slowly she scrolls down.

[We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected as the clarinettist for HSE’s…] Eunbi’s jaw drops.

What am I going to do? is the first question that pops in her head. The expression on her face is static; there is not (yet) any sign of exhilaration or delight. 

Her chest moves up and down as she thinks again about her decision. Why did I want to do this? Did I want to do this? Why did I think I shouldn’t do this? As more questions emerge, Eunbi finds a multitude of answers to them that covers a spectrum.

She is jolted out of the debate that happens in her head when the automatic lock chimes. 

“Eunbi! You’re home,” Yuna says when she enters the apartment and removes her shoes. 

“Oh, unnie,” Eunbi mutters, still rather stumped. Her eyes follow as Yuna places down in a designated corner of the living room her bulky cello case, as Yuna walks across the living room and into the kitchen, before hearing the sound of running water and deduces that the latter is having a cup of water.

“Eunbi, why are you standing there?” Yuna asks when she is out of the kitchen and realises that the younger hasn’t moved since her return home. 

“I—” Eunbi struggles to find the words to say. She looks down again at the screen of the mobile phone in her hands. 

Taking a deep breath, Eunbi slowly passes the phone to Yuna. Yuna takes it from Eunbi’s hand with slight confusion at first, before her eyes gradually widen as she reads the text displayed.

“Eunbi!” there is surprise and elation in her voice as her lips spread into a smile. “Eunbi!” she calls again, louder. 

“You did it,” Yuna beams. 

“I did,” Eunbi mutters, as excitement slowly creeps within her. Perhaps I do wanna do this, she thinks.

“You did it,” Yuna repeats, giving Eunbi’s arms a few gentle pats. 

Eunbi brings her head up. Her eyes meet Yuna’s. Her heart skips a beat. When Yuna flashes again a comforting smile on her lips, Eunbi seems to hear the familiar ringing of a bell at the back of her head. Something in her urges to step forward and give Yuna an embrace that carries the overwhelming gratitude in her heart for Yuna’s support that seems to her a limitless source of strength each time she needs comfort from the older girl. She doesn’t, however, but instead stays still and lets her thoughts flow into realisations that present her clarity and certainty. 

I’ll worry later, Eunbi tells herself, and pushes the corners of her lips into a grin, seeing now no need for excessive agonising as she believes having Yuna beside her is all that suffices. “Thank you, unnie,” she pours her heart into her soft words. Hearing her own voice, the reality of the situation finally clicks in Eunbi’s head and heart flutters as she finally accepts the joy of being selected to play the esteemed concerto of her dreams.

“Well,” Yuna suggests, “We should celebrate this.” 

“Celebrate? We’re only going to get even busier after this to prepare for it.”

Yuna rolls her eyes. “Yahh, don’t give that silly excuse. Also,” Yuna her lips, anxious to say what she wants to add, “we’re gonna be working for that together.”

Eunbi can feel the thumping of her heart in her chest. “Yes,” she says softly, “let’s do our best together.”

“Yes,” Yuna breathes.

Eunbi feels determination, excitement and anticipation for the near future grow within her. “Alright, celebrate right? Let’s call for some delivery. Chinese food, you good? I could really do with some tangsuyuk now.”

The resolution in Eunbi’s words takes Yuna aback. Heol, Eunbi has never been so decisive for the longest time ever, she thinks. “Yes,” she nods her head with much vigour, “Chinese food is good!”

“Alright, unnie can go shower while I call!” Eunbi eagerly says and seats herself down on the sofa. Crossing her legs, she opens her browser and begins searching for restaurants.

“Dry your hair, don’t catch a cold,” the nagging leaves Yuna’s lips before she knows it.

“Ah, I’m healthy unnie!” Eunbi doesn’t tear her eyes away from her mobile phone. The lively refrain causes Yuna to feel a pleasant fluttering in her heart.

Perhaps, just perhaps, the old Eunbi is coming back, Yuna says inwardly and rejoices as she does so.

a/n: a longer chapter. i hope the update finds you well! so we’re really getting on the essence of the story now,, after 23 chapters ohmy,,, finally we’re seeing the famed concerto that is the basis of this story hahahahaha also i’m slightly disappointed with the way i handled eunbi’s attitude change and all the past few chapters, but i shall see what i can do about that. it’s like a phase in life where your outlook on things just change… it can really be a huge mess and so hard to be put into words (speaking from experience HAHA damn i sound old. speaking of which i had some activities with some students recently and DAMN i feel the gap now. oh no) anyway, do leave a few comments on how you find the story so far, sorry it’s so slow (and will continue to be so? HAHA omg) and as the end of the year draws near, happy holidays! i'm not sure if i can churn out more updates before 2021 arrives. if i can't, here's some well wishes for christmas and the new year, we all know 2020 hasn't been the best year but there were still certain aspects that was fulfilling, i hope it is the case for everyone. cheers to an amazing 2021!