The moon has already shone hours ago and it is almost dawn when his schedule has come to an end. The darkness of the living room of the dorm is what his eyes caught. His other members were still on their scheduled taping. Others is already sleeping. But some were having their midnight stroll along the street or Han River which they can openly do because they know that no crazy fan will coincidentally met them and no sane person will walk or jog at the middle of the night.

He lazily urge his feet to walk up to his room where he shared with Minseok, known as Xiumin. For the past 4 years since he became a trainee and up to debuting as a singer, he was sharing a room with Xiumin. He is contented in being with him for several reasons.

Firstly, he is comfortable talking with him because they are the only korean members of EXO-M, which is Chinese counterpart of their other half, EXO-K. Thus, making him to rely upon his hyung.

Secondly, he somewhat hates clutter in the room.

Not because he is a clean freak but he just hate noticing a stack of mess or dirt in their dorm. Unlike Xiumin, he is a the real clean freak.

He likes things organized.

He likes everything he see is in order. 

He likes his things is in systematic order.

And that's why he doesn't want to switch rooms with other members regardless coming back and forth from China to Seoul due to promotion schedules. Whereas, Xiumin thinks so too. Kim Jongdae knows Xiumin too well much better than the latter's self. 

"Hey, you still up?" Chen asked his hyung why he is still not yet sleeping. He was surprised that Xiumin, sitting on his bed and watching a movie on his phone. 

"Oh? Chen-ah, you're here?" Xiumin said after he jolted in his bed after he heard his dongsaeng's voice. He unconsciously mentioned Jongdae's stage name, though the younger one is still not used to it even though he is in 2nd year at the entertainment industry but he's getting there to it.

"Neh, hyung. Today's taping is both taxing yet enjoying at the same time."

"Ooooh... that's good to hear."

"By the way hyung, back to my question earlier? Why are you still up yet? Are you supposed to be resting right now because you will have to wake up early tommorrow. Apparently, your the next in line to film your MV remake of Lim Chang Jung sunbaenim."

"Nahh... still not yet sleepy. And I'm waiting for you to make sure you get home safely."

"Oh?? Your waiting for me? Aww... Thank you hyung, your so sweet." zealously said by the younger man.

"Eww... Jongdae!!! Your making me puke. Shoo!! Go away. Go to the bathroom to wash yourself before going to bed. Mind your own business." Xiumin despise the look of Chen because the younger makes Xiumin cringe in horror not because he doesn't like his dongsaeng but because he is not giving a damn on the aegyo look Chen is making at that moment. Which is why he throw his large pillow on his left where it is gone unnotice for the past 4 years until this scenario happen, straight to Chen's face. However, Chen had evade it through twisting his body on the right considering that he already knows his hyung will certainly throw something at him. 

"Ha ha ha.... Just kidding, hyung I do not swing on the other way." Chen said while completely leave their room and went to the bathroom bringing his pajamas along.

Flashback of the scenes of what happened earlier while he is filming the MV remake of BoA sunbaenim's No. 1 runs like a filmstrip in his mind. But there is sometthing that caught his attention. Preferably, someone has caught his attention. The grandma they encountered while his in the midst of taping.

This grandma was speaking profanities and he doesn't know why. He ask for forgiveness from the old lady in lieu of the staff and the director because he thinks they are bothering the silent evening of the old lady and her family. But even though this granny was in the verge of anger or other negative feelings she was experiencing, he found the situation funny. Its not because he is incosiderate or ungrateful but because he remembered his family he left back at his hometown in Siheung, Gyeonggi Province. 

He remembered his parents and they're home-cooked food.

He remembered his auntie who he, surprisingly, went ot their fansign.

He remembered his friends and their memories in middle school and high school days.

He suddenly remembered his old self.

Time surely runs fast. And Jongdae cannot admit to himself that his dreams way back since he reach the age of 7 will come true. The moment his father heard him sing and praised him, that's when he found his talent and that's the day he started to dream to be a singer just like his father.

However, one problem arises. 

He doubted himself.

He questioned himself if he can be a singer.

He feared he cannot enter the top 3 entertainment agency.

He is skeptic if he will be able to.

Yes, he believe he has a talent. He is confident he can sing much better than his father. But its not because of his talent. 

But because he thinks he doesn't look good enough.

He thinks he's look is nowhere to the handsome faces of Kim Joong Ki or his favorite singer, Kyuhyun of Super Junior.

Since then he practiced hard. Attend various vocal lessons for he believed if he improve in singing maybe the probability of entering the entertainment agency will increase.

However, he tries to  avert his focus on his training. There is still some moments in his life were fate were playing games at him. These were the moments, were all of his friends is either have a girlfriend or have line of fans trailing behind them. 

He thinks his friends were much attractive, much stylish, and much admirable unlike him. He thinks he is unlikable and doesn't have the charisma to allure and charmspeak his future fans.

Nevertheless, he still gives his best. He almost sacrficed himself to be perfect. He studied well. He trained well. Which is a reason why he doesn't know how to play games unlike his kids round his age, his friends and his co-members.

And at this present time, he stii cannot believed that all the work and sacrifices he made were paid off. Plus with luck beside him, he enter S.M Entertainment and trained with less than a year until debut.

Yes, he can now say he is totally ectsatic and contented in the achievement he attained. Though his current status and job is a bit demanding and can totatlly zap out all of his energy in his body, but he will not regret that. Because he have an honor in his self. He said to himself that anything he enters or agreed to, he will never ever regret getting himself acquianting to.

However, unaware of the issues and concerns spreading in the online world. He doesn't know, some of their fans were questioning why he was accepted by S.M Entertainment. Some of them were doubting Jongdae's skills and the topic regarding his looks is not forgotten. What's worse is that the anti-fans of his group is fuelling gas to the incoming fire. They were questioning his existences as member of the group. If he is really worth to be under the management of the company of Lee Soo-man.