4 months. It's been 4 months since he woke up in a hospital with Baekhyun and Yixing by his side. It's also been 3 months since he last properly talked to Minseok.

"Han, stop the 3rd person narrative and go change your clothes."

He doesn't pay any attention to his only real friend's words and just keeps sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, a blanket thrown across his lap and his eyes wide open in concentration as a bead of sweat rolls down his neck.

I must not sweat. I must not sweat. I must not...

Right then, the only person who cares about him in this world, his favorite caretaker Junmyeon comes up to him, eyes narrowed and all of a sudden the sweatshirt he's wearing is being tugged off.

"Hey! Stop that- Junmyeon, stop that!" he yells as he tries to fight back. Junmyeon stops and leans back, hands on his waist.

"You idiot, it's too hot inside to be wearing a sweatshirt and sitting with a blanket! Now take that off before I kick you out of my house!"

Luhan looks at Yifan with pleading eyes but he just shrugs and goes back to whatever he's doing on his laptop.

He doesn't want to be kicked out because this is where he's been staying at since he got out of the hospital after burning his house down three months ago. 
He remembers feeling empty and clutching to Yifan's arms as if he's his lifeline as they took him to their house.

Oh right, I should really talk to my houseowner about the repairs, he thinks as he takes off his sweatshirt to wear his favorite grey t-shirt (5 years old and ripped under the arm) instead.

As he leaves the guest room, sound of a cheery yell fills the house, a deep laughter sounding right after.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun are here.

He enters the room and takes a seat on the armchair farthest away from them. He doesn't really have a reason to do that since he didn't even like Baekhyun that way but still... he's been feeling lonely and he'd rather not see any couples at all, Yifan and Junmyeon are cheesy enough.

After he fainted at the coffee shop, the first thing he saw after waking up was Baekhyun's anxious face and the first thing he heard was him telling Luhan about how he thinks their relationship won't work because he's fallen in love with Chanyeol already. Wow, no one could guess that, he remembers saying. Though it could be worse, he could wake up to Yixing confessing how he told everyone about Luhan liking Minseok.

Which happened right after Baekhyun left the room.

He shakes his head and starts observing as he always does these days. Yifan gets up, grumbling about having to go pick the wedding invitations by himself and drops a kiss on Junmyeon's cheek who's chopping some vegetables in the kitchen then leaves.

Luhan feels lonely.

Then he looks at Baekhyun who has his head leaning on Chanyeol's shoulder, both of them watching the TV.

Oh wow, Luhan feels even lonelier somehow. Who's next to come here, Sehun and Zitao?

As if sensing his thoughts, Chanyeol turns his head to look at him with pity in his eyes. Luhan doesn't want any of it, it's his fault for falling in too deep with his best friend and panicking and burning his house down after Minseok messages him for the first time in a whole month, asking him if he'll be there for Kyungsoo and Jongin's wedding.

"Hey dude, stop that brooding. Look, you'll find someone else, okay? You're kind, polite and handsome. Who wouldn't want you?"

For some reason, his thoughts go to Minseok's words about his bad habits. Oh how much I wish I could go back to those days...

"Oh my God, Chanyeol, you made him cry! Luhan, don't cry!"

He wipes the tears from his eyes. "I just... I miss Yixing!" he lies. Well, it's not a complete lie since he stopped contacting Yixing after he told everyone Luhan liked Minseok.

"He misses you too! He's been playing only sad songs about best friends leaving without a goodbye on his flute nonstop since you stopped talking to him!" Chanyeol cries out in frustration.

"He still plays that stupid flute?!" Luhan yells, just as frustrated.

"Yeah, he does and he got ing good at it." Baekhyun chimes in, taking a bite from the muffin Junmyeon just placed in front of him.

"I always had faith in him."

Luhan takes the muffin Junmyeon placed in front of him too, thanking the smaller man as he sits down.

Junmyeon clears his throat.

"So, you're coming to the wedding, right Luhan?"

Oh yes, Junmyeon and Yifan's wedding. Of course he'll go but he's not sure he's ready to see Minseok again after the what happened at Kyungsoo and Jongin's wedding.

"Yeah," he says dryly.

"Okay but make sure not to get drunk that much again, it was a pain taking you home the last time."

"Seriously Chanyeol, can't you be a little more sensitive?"

Chanyeol just looks at Junmyeon confusedly. "Why, what did I say?" he asks, his words muffled from the muffin in his mouth. He gets no answer.

Luhan tunes them out and focuses on the fact that his life is so empty. If only I chased after my dream of being and idol, he thinks, I'd be the most adored person in China.

China...China! Of course, I should move! I haven't gone back to my hometown in three years and I only came to Korea for a university I ended up dropping out from and for my idol dreams that never came true anyways!

"Guys, guys! I have an idea!" he blurts out loudly, effectively cutting off the others' conversation and making them turn towards Luhan.

"What is it?"

"Well, maybe I should move. I'm tired of just sitting around and moping, I want to find myself again!"

Baekhyun and Junmyeon share a look. Chanyeol just leans back on the couch and crosses his arms. "And how are you going to afford moving? You don't even have a job."

Well, he makes a valid point, a voice in his head says.

"Uhh...I was thinking you guys could help me out until I get a proper job? I'm thinking of taking the exam for university again too, I'll work double jobs to afford and pay you back! Also, I've been a burden on you for too long," he explains, this time directing his words at Junmyeon.

"Oh my God, I think he's coming out."

"What do you mean coming out? He's already out!"

"That's not what I meant Chanyeol, coming out as in coming out of his depression thing." Baekhyun slaps Chanyeol lightly on the chest.

Junmyeon nods to himself slowly and Luhan knows he's processing what he said. So they wait, and wait, and wait...

"Junmyeon, are you there?"

"...hmm? Yes, yes, I was just thinking." he says as if coming out from a trance.

"You're never a burden to us, Luhan, we love you-"

"I love you too!" Luhan interrupts, sending a heart with his hands to Junmyeon.

"...but I think it would be good for you to go to somewhere new, well old but you know what I mean, and get yourself... a life."

Luhan's smile drops off his face. "Wow, thanks." he grumbles.

"Don't take it the wrong way. You'll still come to the wedding right?"

"Of course." Luhan sighs. Chanyeol takes a look at his watch and stretches, giving a look to Baekhyun.

"We'll help too Luhan, and we're leaving." Baekhyun says as he takes his jacket from the couch and they make their way to the door. Junmyeon gets up and follows after them to see them out.

"Goodbye."

"See you." The door closes. It's already nearing 8 p.m and Yifan will probably be home soon.

He decides to eat his dinner early and just go to sleep. So that's what he does.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 weeks before Yifan and Junmyeon's wedding, Chanyeol brings up this bright idea to go camping. With everyone. For five days.

Lu Han doesn't want to go, doesn't want to see Yixing and especially Minseok (and possibly his boyfriend) again. He packs anyways, in the morning with Junmyeon watching him to ensure he's not planning an escape because he needs to get out and face his problems, say goodbye to everyone because he'll be leaving the day after the wedding.

When did my life turn into this? he asks himself as he zips up his jacket and leaves out the door.

They're gonna meet everyone else at the camping place so he still has a couple hours to ready himself for facing two of his favorite people.

Lu Han knows the moment they see each o