Kim Yongsun had never been in love - or so she thinks. She had seen her sister giggling over a guy she met; but then she had also seen her crying over and over again for the same heartbreaking reasons. She consoled Wheein when she and her boyfriend broke up. She heard about Hyejin's story of punching her ex. She felt Byul's pain over her first love.

Kim Yongsun had never been in love - and she never wanted to.

However, love went to her when she wasn't looking, when she was too busy working, when she was too numb to feel anything. 

Kim Yongsun is in love - and she hasn't realized it. She hasn't realized it until the two maknaes slapped her with the truth.

"Unnie, were you jealous?" Wheein asked her in the middle of their practice. The three of them were the only ones left, Byul had to film something else that day.

Yongsun lowered the music. "Me? Jealous? Of what?"

"Of Byul and her ex-fling." Hyejin said as a matter of factly.

Yongsun's ears and cheeks felt hot. "Wh-what do you mean?" 

Silence.

"No, I am not." Yongsun huffed.

"Unnie, you love her." Wheein's soft voice echoed into Yongsun's ears up to her chest. It felt heavy.

"I love you all."

"You love Byulyi unnie." Hyejin seconded.

Yongsun brushed the maknaes off, pretending that she didn't understand what they really mean. When in fact, she understood them. She knew what they mean. She suddenly feels it. 

---

That night, Yongsun brought home two bags of soju. She wanted to pass out. She wanted to drown everything that she's suddenly feeling.

There's the euphoria - the excitement of being in love. She feels like a high school kid having her first love. Her heart is rushing at the thought of Byul. Her skin aches for Byul. She looks forward to having Byul. 

However there's this pain - the searing pain through her chest. Her heart wants to explode becuase of the hurt. Her mind is boggling with questions and uncertainties. Her mind's telling her that she's not enough; that she is not worthy of Byul's attention. She doesn't deserve Byul. She doesn't deserve love.

She slumped down on the floor and opens up a soju bottle. She quietly thanked her sister for being out of town. She wanted to cry and scream alone that night.

She's never been a good drinker - and with a bottle of soju down, she's a crying mess. She some loud music to drown her cries, she was afraid that the neighbors might think that someone died because of the sounds of her wailing. 

"Byul-ah.." she mumbled to herself. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Yongsun cried once again.

The loud clicking of her apartment's door slightly brought her back to her senses. "Unnie?" she called out, "I thought you were in Busan." she slurred.

"Why is it so dark?" she heard a familiar voice. "Yong?"

"B-Byul-ah?" Yongsun brought herself up from leaning face down on the coffee table. "What are you doing here?"

She saw Byul's silhouette coming to her. "Unnie, what happened? Wheein called me and asked me to check on you. She said you weren't okay during practice."

"Those punks!" She shouted.

Byul sat beside her and held her up. "Unnie you're drunk."

"No, I am not." She swayed into Byul's hold.

"YONG!" Byul shouted and steadied her.

Yongsun looked at the person in front of her - the person she loves - her Byulyi. "Byul-ah." she cried.

"What's the matter?" Byul pulled her into a hug and patted her back.

"Byul-ah. It feels really painful."

"I'm listening."

"How can I not notice? W-why are you like that?"

"Like what?"

Yongsun huffed. "Like.. strange."

"I am strange?" Byul pulled her out of the hug and looked at her eyes.

Yongsun looked at how beautiful Byul is. Her heart felt how beautiful Byul is. "You are. You are making me feel strange things."

Byulyi laughed whilst she touched Yongsun's cheek.  "You make me feel strange things too." The sudden confession and the way Byulyi looked at her made her heart ache - with happiness or pain - she didn't know. Byulyi looked at her so lovingly that Yongsun wanted to confirm if that was it, if that was what they call love. She slowly leaned into Byul's touch, inching and inching closer, until she was met with Byul's lips. Byulyi felt so soft, she felt so good, her stomach was fluttering at the numerous sensations.  

In a matter of seconds, their chaste kiss became fiery. She could feel the and the repressed longing for each other. Byulyi was taking over her. She opened  to let Byul's tongue in. She felt Byul's arms around her waist. The alcohol was making her so dizzy and she just wanted to touch more of Byul.

Her eyes shot up as Byulyi kissed her neck. She felt her body's heat against her. She felt Byul's hand roaming around. She felt her own hand grabbing more of Byul  - closer to her - as if she never wanted to let her go.

"Byul-ah." She called to her breathlessly.

"Hmm?" She pulled Byul up.

Yongsun looked into Byul's eyes. "I think.." her voice trembled. "I-I love you." she almost said it in a whisper.

Byulyi smiled softly. She understood. "I love you too."

"That way." Yongsun added.

Byulyi looked straight into her eyes and nodded. "That way. For a long time now." 

Yongsun was confused at Byul's sudden confession. "W-Why didn't you tell me?" 

Byul's eyes were teary. She understood the complexity of the situation that they were in. "We can't." She was in pain.

"We can't?" Yongsun's voice cracked. She felt her heart crack.

Byulyi nodded. "Not now."

Yongsun nodded. She understood as well. They are on their way to the peak of their dreams and starting a relationship right now is not really ideal. Scandals could break out and ruin everything. They don't want to drag Wheein and Hyejin down. They love them too much.

Yongsun knew that they are not ready. She is too reserved; Byul is young and outgoing. They would just damage each other. She needs more time to open herself up; Byul needs to try more things.

But for now, Yongsun wanted to let go of all reasons and she wanted Byul all to herself.

"I need you. Please have me. Just this once."

Byul kissed her again, "Just this once."

a/n

oofff this came out a little bit angsty... im gonna have a last update for the epilogue.