Kim Yongsun has always been a loner. No, she didn't chose to be, the universe seemed to choose for her. She only had a few friends during high school, and they were more of acquaintances than actual friends. Sometimes Yongsun asked herself what's so different about her, why couldn't she have a normal group of friends like the rest of the girls her age. She always tries to reach out, but they seem to move farther away. Once she graduated from high school still being 'friendless', she stopped questioning.

She had always thought that she would lead an ordinary life. She would graduate from high school, take the college entrance exams, go to a reputable university if she's lucky, and become a flight attendant, if she's even luckier. However, the universe loves surprising her. The universe didn't want her to have friends, and it didn't want her to become a flight attendant either.

-

She catches her breath after five straight hours of practising. This was one of the few moments where she asks herself what the heck is she doing and why is she here, when she could've just gone to her college entrance exams instead to an audition more than a year ago. She remembers hearing a two-hour lecture from her parents on how training to be an idol wouldn't give her a bright future, but she fought for it. Yongsun still doesn't know why and how a random 'talent scout' from a random bar where she decided to randomly sing could make her change her mind about her future. She has been so bent on having an ordinary life and she asks herself why did she steer away from the security and comfort of being in the ordinary.

Her thoughts are interrupted by rowdy laughters and a door opening. She saw three of her fellow trainees laughing amongst themselves and Yongsun couldn't help but wonder what's so amusing in their situation. They are dying from hunger and exhaustion - and yes, she is still very much friendless. 

"Hey, unnie."

She senses someone sitting down beside her on the floor. Yongsun looks up and sees her least favorite person in their company. 'Oh now you call me unnie', she wants to say out loud but she settles for a casual, "Yes?"

"Do you want to eat together? It's past dinner time." The annoying girl smiles with too much of her nose muscles.

Yongsun looks at the girl bewildering, "Are you asking me to eat with you?" she snaps.

The girl seems to wince at her words. "Y-Yes. I want to apologize for last time." She sees her fidgeting. "I was disrespectful and I heard you liked tteokbbokki so I thought-"

Yongsun stops the rambling girl by suddenly standing up. She wants to laugh at the nervous girl - a total opposite of how cocky she was when they first met. "Let's go then."

The younger girl has clearly been taken aback but Yongsun swears she saw her eyes lit up in response.

-

"Byulyi. Moon Byulyi." 

Yongsun looks at the girl on the opposite side of the table. "I know your name." she tooks a bite of her favorite dish.

She notices how the girl starts to fidget again, "I- Ah I- haven't introduced myself properly."

Yongsun puts down her chopsticks and looks at the girl with amused eyes. "Kim Yongsun." She offers her hand out.

Byul looks to her, at her hand, then back to her. 

"Are you going to refuse my handshake?" Yongsun says curtly, stopping herself from laughing at the somewhat adorable nervousness of the girl in front of her.

Byul scrambles to find her hand, the right hand, and brings it up to meet Yongsun's. The latter shuddered from the touch of Byulyi's hand, she feels so soft. It makes her wonder when she last held a hand on her own. 

"Nice meeting you, Yongsun-unnie."

She replies with a friendly smile.

-

Byulyi is clingy - more than she should be.

Yongsun is not used to being too close to someone, to say the least. Since she hasn't had proper friendships in her lifetime, having Byulyi in her life is such a new feeling, a new learning for her. She doesn't know how to become a proper friend, but Byulyi doesn't seem to mind.

"Unnie." She heard the younger whine from her couch. They are in Yongsun's home and Byulyi has developed the liking to show up at random days and at random times. 

"What?" Yongsun looks up from the stove where she's trying to fix a meal without burning their house down.

"Come here~ watch a movie with me." She sees the younger girl pout. Cute.

"Can't you see that I'm cooking?"  

"But it's sad to watch a movie alone." She watches as the sulking girl comes to the kitchen counter with her shoulders hunched in defeat. "Why are you always grumpy unnie?"

Yongsun chooses to ignore the question and pushes a plate of food in front of Byulyi. "Eat."

"Eat with me."

Why are you so clingy? "I can't, I'm on a diet. I'll just watch you."

"Eh?" Byul picks-up her chopsticks. "Unnie is weird."

"You are weird." Yongsun chuckles and leans on the countertop.

"Hey, I made unnie laugh!" Byul says with a spoonful of rice in .

Yongsun laughs at the sight, the younger girl looks like a hamster. "Eat with your mouth closed, Moon Byulyi! You're disgusting!"

"Only for youuu~" Byulyi hums and winks at her.

"Ugh, greasy and disgusting!"

That has been the start of Yongsun learning how to laugh with a friend.

-

Yongsun isn't used to such loud crowd - even though there are just four of them in a barbecue place. The three younger girls are laughing their hearts out too loud while she sits there awkwardly. She only knows how to be a friend, to be Byulyi's friend to say the least, and she still hasn't learned how to be a friend in a group. It was Friday night and Moon Byulyi dragged her out of her apartment despite her protests. The younger said that her friends slash their fellow trainees - Wheein and Hyejin - also want to get to know her. Yongsun is hesitant, she isn't used to people having interest on her. Moon Byulyi comforted her with the words, "Don't worry unnie, I've told them nice things about you." and Yongsun couldn't help but wonder what are those nice things.

"Hey unnie, why don't you take a shot?" The youngest, Hyejin, hands her the shot glass spilling with soju.

Before Yongsun can refuse, Wheein and Byul both started to chant, "YONGSUN UNNIE! YONGSUN UNNIE!"

Yongsun has no choice but to take the shot glass and drink the alcohol which spilled at her fingers. She feels the alcohol burn  and warm her stomach. She drops the shot glass with a hiss and a collective cheer erupts from the three girls.

A few more drinks later, Yongsun is too red and Wheein suddenly looks like a puppy in her eyes. She looks at Hyejin who seems to be telling a sad story, based from her mellow tone, to Byulyi who politely listens. Yongsun looks at the three girls in front of her and she wonders how she now finds her situation amusing. Having friends? Is this how it feels?

Wheein then turns to her and asks her in a too loud and too slurry voice "Yongsun unnie, where are your friends? We haven't seen you hang-out with anyone."

Yongsun knows better than to be offended, from the moment she and Wheein were introduced, she kind of knew how kind and soft the girl is. "I just don't have them."

"What do you mean?" Wheein asks as she blinks a few times, forcing her small eyes to stay open.

"I just.. I don't have friends." Yongsun says as a matter-of-factly.

A sudden bang on the table surprises them, "What about me? I'm your friend!" Byulyi protests with her hands on the table.

Hyejin chimes in, and raises a hand, too tipsy to form straight sentences now. "M-me too, u-unnie."

"Me too!" Wheein sits up straight and looks at her with serious puppy-like eyes. "We are your friends."

Yongsun looks at Wheein, then Hyejin, to Byulyi who seems to be studying her face. Byulyi smiles at her and somehow Yongsun understands what it meant. She smiles back.

Having friends, so this is how it feels like.

-

It seems like the universe isn't done surprising Yongsun. A few months ago, the CEO of the company has decided that the four of them would form a group and debut. Having friends, debuting, and debuting with her friends felt too surreal to Yongsun. She doesn't know if she's still in reality.

However the euphoria has worn of as soon as the hardships start. They have to train more, eat less, sleep less, and rest less. Their living arrangements also isn't helping. Since their company is small, it only has the budget for a rooftop apartment which is too tight for four people, and sometimes has cockroaches in it, but they manage. Yongsun would sometimes stay up late and look at the three of her members sprawled on the living room's floor after one of their movie nights. She has been appointed as the leader for being the oldest - and she wonders how she could be this lucky to have these three rascals with her. Her stomach churns at the thought, from being too happy and from being too scared of not being able to take care of them well. The three of them has taken care of Yongsun more than they have known and Yongsun wonders how she could ever return everything that they have done for her. 

"Unnie." She hears Byul mumble, rubbing her too sleepy and tired eyes.

"Hmm?" 

She watches as the younger girl sit up and face her. "Why are you still awake?"

Yongsun shrugs. "I can't sleep."

"Come here." Byulyi pats the empty spot next to her on the cramped mattress.

Yongsun doesn't know why but Byulyi looks so vulnerable at that moment and follows her. Byulyi pulls them down and she lets Yongsun nuzzle on the crook of her neck. She feels Byulyi wrap an arm around her waist. She's too close to Byulyi that she can smell the sweet musky scent of her skin.

"Stop thinking too much and sleep, unnie."  

Yongsun doesn't know why but she succumbs to Byulyi's embrace. Yongsun hasn't felt this vulnerable.

a/n:

this should just be a one-shot but here we are... it needs another or two more parts haha

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