a/n: not proofread
Lie To Me

- C

Chaeyoung isn’t sure what she’s supposed to say.

It had been a normal day at work thus far – the regular morning meeting discussing today’s goals and plans, what they were to prioritize and what to do later. Then when they had gotten to work, Chaeyoung being the one going back and forth with coffee orders and taking notes about what had to be done. Her boss, who is one of the top art curators in Seoul, had been extra snappy that day by leaving some snarky remarks, but Chaeyoung decided to ignore the comments and just get the job done. The museum’s newest exhibit was one of the largest ones this year and needed extra attention due to how well-known the artist was around the world. Her boss wanted the exhibit to be nothing less than perfect and they were expecting many rich moguls to bid for their work.

It was only a little while after lunch when her stomach felt a bit queasy. At first she blamed it on the leftovers she brought to work, she should have just brought something fresh and probably not have had five cups of coffee on top of that.

Her boss called her name as she was overlooking the plans for the exhibit, Chaeyoung turning around to lock eyes with the middle-aged woman. “We’ve got a problem,” she begins before taking away Chaeyoung’s papers and handing her a fresh bunch of other papers. “The invitation to next week’s exhibit has the wrong dates, you need to fix this and the information on our website now,” she continues before scurrying Chaeyoung away, saying she’ll work on the layout in the meantime.

It wasn’t the first time invitations to special guests had contained incorrect information, but it was stressful, nevertheless. Chaeyoung makes her way to the computers by the entrance to prepare new invitations, as the computers in the office were down for maintenance. Her fingers fly through the keyboard, looking back and forth at the papers to make sure they got the correct date and time this time.

As she keeps on typing and updating the information on their various sites, she looks up a bit just to give her eyes some rest from the bright screen. The gray clouds hanging over the city made the light a lot less intense and more soothing than anything else, hovering over the buildings and people in black coats walking around the pavement.

It was only when she noticed a familiar figure walking by, that her eyes were fixated on said person. For a second Chaeyoung was about to wave, even if Jennie wasn’t looking over at her direction and would pass the building soon enough. Jennie knew that Chaeyoung worked there, she had visited her there during several occasions, but given the situation Chaeyoung knew she was just passing by and not out to see her. She was okay with that; it wouldn’t make sense for Jennie to visit her at work anymore. However, Chaeyoung wasn’t prepared to see somebody else walking beside her.

He was a tall man, slightly tanned with jet-black hair that almost seemed too dark to be real. Chaeyoung couldn’t see too much of him, mostly because they were on the other side of the road and he was wearing shades on his face with a thick scarf around his neck. Jennie and the man seemed invested in some sort of conversation, and something he said made her laugh by the way opened, and she looked to the side, something she always did when somebody said something funny. She then nudges him a bit, both of them pausing a bit to chat about something Chaeyoung would never know what was. They weren’t holding hands or looking especially intimate, but they were standing really close together.

Was he a friend?

They hadn’t seen each other since the last time she came in the middle of the night to her apartment, which had already been three weeks ago. A few texts here and there were shared, but other than that it was silent on Jennie’s end. Chaeyoung had to admit to herself she wondered why she had been so quiet. but judging by her walking with this guy down the streets, she understood why then.

It was just a brief moment when Jennie looked up from the ground that their eyes met, and even if she was a good distance away, she felt something stir inside the pit of her stomach. It left her feeling heavy, as if something was weighing her down, and the dryness of made her want to cough. The expression on Jennie’s face was neutral, it didn’t really give away anything special one way or another, before she swiftly turned her gaze away.

The whole ordeal only lasted for a minute at most when they both disappeared from her vision, but it still left Chaeyoung with something alike a sting in the back of . Something that used to occur whenever she felt emotional, and though she wasn’t really anywhere near crying, she felt a heaviness around her chest, nevertheless.

Jennie hadn’t looked back during their brief eye contact, only seeming to look ahead or at the guy she was talking to.

Taking a second to calm her thoughts down, she put her gaze back towards the computer. Jennie looked happy, she even smiled a bit towards her now that she thought about it, so it wasn’t all bad. After all, they had broken up and Chaeyoung wasn’t exactly not seeing anyone else either. However, at this point she knew that her and her coworker weren’t anything serious and that it was more of a rebound than anything else. She wasn’t sure if Jennie was seeing him to forget Chaeyoung or if it was because he had something Chaeyoung didn’t.

She tried to keep her gaze away from her wrist, not wanting to dwell anymore into the realization that her ex was probably seeing someone else. Though she knew Jennie was never alone, she never seemed serious with other people. She had seen her ex hooking up with people in the bar only for her to forget them a couple of hours later deep into the night, but it felt different this time. Just looking at her laughing and talking to this guy made her feel that it wasn’t a person she would forget as fast.

No, she couldn’t dwell too much on this now. She had to do her job at least, she could think about it later when she got home.

The hours passed so slow that it felt as if she had been there for days. Her eyes felt droopy and her muscles were fatigued by all the walking and planning, writing and adjusting things left to right. At this point she figured she wanted to go home and just lie in bed without moving a single muscle.

Though when she had put on her coat and gotten her bag, greeting the fresh and crisp autumn air that evening, she felt more settled down. Not exactly happy, but less tired. When she got home she heated up some soup and sat by her desk, looking down at the paper of her newest sketch. On the side she did some artwork for commission. This time of year, requests were slow, as she only had this one thing and nothing else lined up. It wasn’t until the Holidays people would begin requesting stuff for gifts. Her client luckily enough didn’t need it right away and was patient enough to let Chaeyoung work at her own pace. However, she did feel like she probably should finish it soon as she had been postponing it for a long time.

Taking the last spoonful of her soup and putting away the dirty dishes, she walked back to her desk to gaze at the sketch. It was over halfway done, but she felt it would still take at least a few hours more of work before she could call it complete. It wasn’t even going to take long if she put in more work, but her eyes began to go further down until she almost saw black.

A sigh escapes her lips as she snaps her eyes open again. As she puts down the pencil, her gaze looks up at the window by her desk. The sky is clear, not a cloud in sight, only the dim moonlight escaping through her living room as she turned off the lights one by one. It wasn’t more to do than go to bed, she thought, and dragged her heavy limbs toward the restroom. Taking off her face of makeup and brushing her teeth, she couldn’t help but wonder about Jennie earlier. She hadn’t checked her phone in a while, but she hadn’t heard a single sound or gotten a buzz from it. It was pretty clear that she wasn’t going to call, and maybe that was alright for now.

She plopped into the familiar sheets on her bed, only removing her pants and shirt. The moonlight was still glowing throughout her room, what used to be their room, she thought for a brief second. A moment passes by, the glowing red numbers on her clock illuminating the room as well, and she should sleep. She should just close her eyes and let the day thus far wash away.

Then, as her vision embraces the darkness, she suddenly sees a bunch of tall buildings. Not the ones like in Seoul, but rather bright and filled with decadent features from decades long passed. Neon signs blended together with bright streetlamps, windows from apartments filled with yellowing lights from the people still not asleep. The concrete feels light on her feet, her moves feel rigid and slow, and for a moment she swears a drop of water hit her face.

She had been here before. Chaeyoung knew exactly where this place was. It didn’t take long before she began moving, seeing the fog in the distance turn into more defined silhouettes of people with nameless faces passing by. All of them being people she had never seen before, never bothered to pay attention to, all except for one.

There she stood, her dark hair moving with the wind with her pale blue dress. Rosy cheeks and pink lips forming into a smile, her laugh mesmerizing everyone around her. So much that people always seem to look at her twice, the petite woman in her heels, walking around New York City as if it was her own runway. It was a good night, one that would change everything they both knew. For a second, Chaeyoung wonders why she’s back here, but at the same time she has a feeling in her bones that the image was there for a reason.

That night wasn’t supposed to happen.

Chaeyoung was supposed to be back in Melbourne, probably working on her music or her art.

Jennie was supposed to be at a club with her friends, probably dancing and drinking the night away until the sunrise.

Had things turned out that way, Chaeyoung is pretty sure that things would be way different than they are now. If she wasn’t in New York to visit her sister, walking around with a heavy suitcase and her phone trying to find the way to her hotel, maybe she never would have been there to begin with. She could have called her sister to pick her up, but she wanted to surprise her at work the following day, so that would defeat the purpose.

And, if Jennie wasn’t an exchange student in New York trying to learn from the best through an unpaid internship for Vogue, maybe she wouldn’t have been on that specific street either. If she’d decided to stay in the club and not go home, maybe she would’ve taken the same path, but Chaeyoung wouldn’t be there and they never would have made eye contact.

Chaeyoung believes in a lot of things. She believes that fate puts you at the exact time at the exact place where you are supposed to be. However, she doesn’t believe that fate decides the outcome. She likes to think of fate as a steppingstone to something greater, but it doesn’t guarantee anything.

It was late, probably pushing midnight when they crossed paths that night a few years ago. Suitcase heavy in her hands, cool wind on her face and a bit hangry from the entire ordeal, she just wanted to get inside. Maybe that’s why her steps were so rushed, the wheels sounding like they were crushing the ground beneath her. Her phone told her that she was only ten minutes away from her destination, but she still felt lost after walking around for nearly half an hour. Soon enough, though, she’d be there… Maybe.

In time she decided to think screw it and use her money on a cab because her legs felt as if they were sinking to the ground any second. She probably should have just taken a taxi from the airport to the hotel to begin with, but thinking she could save a dollar or two, she wanted to use public transportation – which ended up terribly, as one could guess.

She decided to stand by the pavement, looking out for the famous yellow taxies. Her hands were stretched out in the air, but it seemed as if every cab kept turning their lights off. Nobody seemed to notice her in the sea of people walking past her underneath the tall buildings and city lights. It drove her nuts, even if only a couple of minutes had passed.

The second she looked away from the streets and towards people walking around in the city that never sleeps, she spotted a rather interesting figure standing by the corner of a streetlight. Everybody was walking by, not paying any attention to the woman who was at the time a stranger to Chaeyoung. And she thought to herself, that even if she wasn’t really doing anything extraordinary, it was something about her that made Chaeyoung just look at her. She does recall her steps losing their rushed pace, not by a lot, but still noticeable.

The woman was down at the ground, as if she was searching for something, her hands probably shivering from the cold air as she ran them through her dark hair. Her eyes darted around everywhere with such a concentrated gaze, as if she just stared hard enough, she would find what she was looking for.

Maybe she needed help, Chaeyoung had thought. However, for all she knew the woman could be a psychopath. Still, she found herself walking towards the woman in the black coat and dark hair breezing through the midnight air. She hadn’t really thought about what to say, but she didn’t really think anything through at that moment. “Do you need any help?” she had asked then, eyeing the slightly bent woman who was still staring at the ground.

A moment passes, she gains eye contact with a pair of heavily smoked eyes covering rather almond shaped, dark irises. Chaeyoung notices how her mascara was finding itself running down her cheeks instead of staying put on her lashes, and looking down for just the slightest second, how her nose was glaring red beneath her foundation.

“Does it look like I need help?” the woman asked her then, a bit passive aggressive in her tone. However, as her noses scrunches up a little to let out a sniff and the edges of her coat seem to try away the falling mascara, her gaze softens.

Chaeyoung swallowed then, just now realizing the woman was crying and not looking for something. It made the situation probably ten times awkward as she just stood there with one earphone placed snugly in her ear and the other dangling towards the ground, phone in one hand and suitcase in the other, asking a stranger if she needed help. She scrambled to think about something to lighten the mood, yet seems to speak before she can let her answer be thought out. “I thought you lost something,” she said then.

The woman shrugged then, putting some of her long hair beneath her ears to stop it from blowing onto her face. “Who says I haven’t?” she retorted mysteriously, but she doesn’t add anymore to that statement. Her short frame then looked away towards the street, Chaeyoung not exactly towering over her, but the woman did fall somewhat underneath her shadow.

This was a bad idea, Chaeyoung heard herself thinking, wondering how she could exit this conversation without making it too abrupt and awkward. She was the one who started it, she should probably end the conversation with the clearly upset woman.

However, for some reason, she didn’t have to come up with an answer. “Where are you from?” she had asked Chaeyoung, for some reason.

She briefly replied she just got there from Melbourne. “Is my accent that heavy?” she had asked then.

The other woman let out a shadow of a smile. “I could tell you weren’t from here the moment you talked to me, nobody seems to do that here,” she explained then. It didn’t surprise Chaeyoung at that point when she accurately guessed she was from Australia either. Before looking around the city again, cars passing by through the night. “Let me guess, you can’t get a cab?” she continued then.

Chaeyoung let out a sheepish smile, awkwardly admitting so.

The woman however, only told her to wait a second before walking towards the edge of the pavement. Her hands don’t reach out towards the street immediately like Chaeyoung tried earlier. Instead, she let out a huge whistle before her other arm then was extended, instantly gaining the attention of a yellow cab pulling up towards them.

It wasn’t that extraordinary getting a cab, yet she was still in somewhat of an awe how a crying woman just minutes ago acting a bit cold suddenly managed to appear cool and collected. It was as if they were in a movie at that point, the way her elegant hands hailed the cab as her dark hair fell into place. Chaeyoung stood there for a second just thinking about it, but her thoughts were quickly interrupted. “Where are you going?” the woman asked while already having opened the door, her body halfway inside the car.

Chaeyoung simply mentions the name of the hotel she was staying at, the woman nods before asking the driver if he could help her with her suitcase. As the man gets out and takes Chaeyoung’s items to the trunk, she was surprised to find herself sitting beside said woman. “I’m going the same way, if you don’t mind,” she explained, as if she could read Chaeyoung’s expression. A small chuckle escapes her list. “Relax, I’m not going to stalk you,” she said then, still wearing a slight smile on her lips. Still, she offered to catch another cab if it did make Chaeyoung uncomfortable.

That, for some reason, reassured Chaeyoung more than it should have. She had to admit though, the woman next to her didn’t look intimidating in the sense that she could harm her. “If you say so, I’ll trust you,” she replied to the stranger jokingly. Hadn’t it been for the fact that she found her teary-eyed, she would have thought she was a fierce businesswoman who would boss and demand everyone around her. Yet, she seemed innocent enough. Chaeyoung decided to trust her instincts and calm down, hoping she made the right choice in trusting a stranger.

They sat there for only a moment before the driver came back. The woman said there was going to be two stops, the hotel and an address Chaeyoung didn’t quite pay attention to. He simply nodded before they drove away.

It was only going to be a short ride, they were fairly close to their destinations anyway, but New York traffic wasn’t exactly light, even this late. The cab stopped by a red light, popular music coming from the radio as the driver taps his fingers to the beat. Chaeyoung didn’t say a work, not knowing what to say at all. She did have many questions, but she didn’t want to pry into a stranger’s life, even if she was sharing a cab with them. It was then she realized that she didn’t know her name or who she was at all despite trying to figure out who she was in her mind.

Suddenly, Chaeyoung spotted a hand reaching towards her from the corner of her eye. It’s petite yet not as dainty as her own hands with freshly manicured nails and stylish rings gracing her fingers. “I’m Jennie,” she said then.

Chaeyoung found herself accepting the sudden handshake, finding it in her to smile despite her body wanting to sink into the leather seat. “I’m Roseanne,” she introduced herself with her English name. She could tell Jennie was of Asian descent, but if she was Korean or if she even knew the language, she couldn’t know. Therefore, she didn’t introduce herself by Chaeyoung. It didn’t really matter, it wasn’t as if they would meet again, Chaeyoung had thought at the time.

They break contact as the car keeps on driving. It was still a bit awkward, but also strangely comfortable as the seconds passed by. Maybe Chaeyoung was too tired to overthink for once, which probably make the situation easier in a way. It made her judgement a bit cloudier, but she was still alert despite not having the feeling that Jennie would do anything against her.

“If you were wondering why I was crying,” Jennie suddenly says as they sit in the backseat. “It’s because I get emotional when too many shots of tequila have been sent to me,” she very openly admits. Chaeyoung didn’t strike Jennie as an open person, but she figures that it was probably the alcohol making her say it. Her speech was still fairly stable, but there was some dragging around the vowels of her words that did give it away now that Chaeyoung thought about it.

Chaeyoung nodded. It was understandable, she could become a crying mess too after a lot of alcohol. Though, it wouldn’t surprise her if there was something deeper going on. She didn’t decide to pry, even though she was very curious. “If it helps, I once cried at a party because the pizza was really good,” she mentioned then. She didn’t really understand why she said that.

Jennie let out a chuckle then, the sound surprisingly chirpier than her rather serious tone earlier. It slowly progressed to a small laugh, her hand covering her lips ever so slightly. “That must have been a very delicious pizza,” she retorted then.

They looked at each other then, Chaeyoung only smiling a bit by the exchange. She was about to say something, but Jennie looked away as the car slowly came to a halt underneath a well lit building with tall glass doors. The driver announces they are by the hotel, before asking if Chaeyoung needed help with her bags. She was about to say no, but her arms didn’t want to move, so she found herself accepting the offer as he got out to retrieve her stuff.

“Thanks for hailing me a cab,” Chaeyoung said then before reaching towards her wallet.

She was about to hand Jennie some money for the rest of the ride, but the other woman just placed her hand on her wrist before shaking her head. “It’s okay, I got it,” she said then before probably realizing she was holding onto her hand. She slowly let go but didn’t break eye contact.

Chaeyoung could sense something tingling at edge of her chest, but she wasn’t sure if it was from her being tired or something in the way Jennie looked at her. It left her so confused at the time she could only mutter a “thanks” before the driver opened the door for Chaeyoung. She wasn’t sure if that was normal behavior for a cab driver, but he probably got sick of waiting for them to stop chatting. She grabbed her stuff, but she didn’t want to end their encounter on that note.

In retrospect, she wonders if Chaeyoung just shut the door and left, if everything would be different.

Instead, she found herself lingering by the open door, pretending to check her phone even if there was nothing interesting on it. She could hear Jennie mention to the driver she would pay. She tried to think of something to say, anything, because she felt as if she didn’t want to stop talking to her. “I hope you’re feeling better now,” she found herself blurting, standing by the door towards Jennie who then leaned her head towards Chaeyoung.

Jennie gave her a surprised look, but she seemed to hide it fairly quickly by relaxing her eyebrows. “I am, actually,” she replied, her voice a lot steadier and her white teeth showing from another smile. For some reason, it made Chaeyoung smile back in an almost relieved way. In a sense, she felt that she did something right by talking to Jennie who was just a stranger a few minutes ago.

She didn’t know why, but she felt as if she wanted to get to know Jennie. To become friends maybe, even if that was a far stretch. They didn’t know each other, and she didn’t want to creep her out by suddenly pushing boundaries. She didn’t even understand why she wanted to continue talking to her, even if they didn’t know each other, but for a moment it was as every fiber in her being was ushering her to do something. Chaeyoung hadn’t felt like this in a long time, wanting to know somebody this much, and she still to this day can’t fully understand why Jennie made her feel this way.

The taxi-driver was already back in the car, ready to drive. There was limited time left, and she wasn’t sure if she was going to let the moment pass or not. Her hand was holding onto the top of the car door, and the other was tightly gripping the handle of her suitcase. What was there to say? The unwanted, heavy silence hung in the air as a layer of anticipation and expectancy ran surrounded Chaeyoung’s thoughts.

“It was nice meeting you,” Jennie broke the silence then. For a moment Chaeyoung was about to be disappointed, though she wasn’t going to show it. Instead, Jennie asked her if it was okay to add her on social media.

Chaeyoung couldn’t help the smile that graced her face then, almost feeling her fingers trembling as she probably too eagerly gave away the username to her Instagram. She spotted Jennie go onto her phone then, looking enormous between her small hands, clicking around on the illuminating screen until a buzz was felt between Chaeyoung’s fingers. She looked down her own phone, to see the notification of a new follower with a request of a direct message. It simply said “Boo”, which made Chaeyoung laugh for some reason, even if it was pretty dry.

She was quick to follow Jennie back and accept the message request. With that, the two said good night before the door closed and the yellow cab drove away into the night. Suddenly, she felt her hand reach forward into the flashback, as if she could stop her from leaving.

The red, green and yellow lights began to blur in that moment by the fading memory of their first encounter. Suddenly, the colors illuminate onto her eyes so brightly and forcefully that it made her tear up. A loud ringing echoes through her ears, the heaviness of her chest becoming more apparent by each second. It was as if she was trying to reach something that wasn’t there anymore. Jennie’s voice began to echo out words she could barely comprehend.

Suddenly, she wasn’t in New York, she was blinded by lights, the only guide from the madness being the sound of past conversations between her and Jennie.

Did Jennie ever love Chaeyoung?

It was an uncomfortable question that once arose between them a long time ago. Probably a few days before their breakup, and for once Chaeyoung didn’t want the truth. She could hear the words from that memory echoing through her head.

Suddenly the blinding lights morph into a more familiar setting. On her bed, where she sat in the middle of the night, but she wasn’t alone. Jennie sat next to her, fingers intertwined with each other as if a child who had just got scolded was thinking about what she did wrong.

“Why are you asking me this?” Jennie wondered as they sat on their then shared bed. That night it had been raining, but looking out the window, the only thing that could separate this dream from reality was the fact that the sky was red.

Suddenly, Chaeyoung finds herself staring at herself. As if her entire being escaped her body and placed itself on the wall. “Just answer me, Jennie,” she could hear her own voice pleading, tears already falling onto her cheeks.

Jennie’s expression shined with confusion then, her own hands untangling from each other as if to reach out to her. A sigh escaped her lips. “You know I do,” she replied then.

But looking at herself, she could see how she didn’t react to it well. “Then why do you keep doing this to me?” Chaeyoung asked Jennie, her voice cracking from the tears the more she spoke. “Why do I suddenly wake up with you being gone for days, sometimes weeks without telling me?” she continued and only stopped to dry her ongoing tears.

The image is so vividly, that hadn’t Chaeyoung been having this out of body experience and known better, she would have thought she was back in the past.

Jennie didn’t reply to that, only looking down at her lap. Chaeyoung didn’t know it back then, but judging from it now, Jennie was probably looking for the words to say. However, Chaeyoung in the past seemed to react to it differently. Her tears kept running down her face, and for a moment Chaeyoung wondered if she always looked that puffy, but it was quickly forgotten as she watched herself speak. “If you really don’t love me,” she then said after a sniffle. “I want to say tell me, but honestly, I don’t know if I want to know,” she continued then. She recalled wanting a lie rather than the truth.

There was more to this memory, but as a mirror that suddenly shattered, everything seemed to fall into pieces that made no sense anymore. She could feel the memory fading away, the intensified sensation of her losing herself into nothing.

With a sudden force, her eyes flew open as her lungs gasped for air, as if she had been holding her breath for a long time. It made her entire upper body leap from the comfort of her mattress and land her into a seating position. Her skin felt drenched to the touch from sweat, even if the room was fairly cold, and her head promptly landed back onto her pillow. Catching her breath with quick inhales, she tries to calm down by the sudden memory of their beginning and their ending.

When she regains energy, she looks at her phone which shows that it’s way too early to get up. However, she knows that she can’t fall asleep after that. She still keeps on recalling the conversation that sparked these heavy emotions within her.

She knew then that if Jennie truly loved her, she wouldn’t put her through what she did when they were together. She wouldn’t have given her such amazing highs yet miserable, almost unbearable lows. It should have made sense to her and make everything easier. Even now, when she knew Jennie was probably with somebody else and clearly moving on.

Her eyes kept their gaze fixed at the ceiling, watching the shadows of her curtains change direction for what felt like forever. The moonlight was slowly fading with time until the sun began to peak through the windows. She didn’t want to think about how she felt so broken even if she shouldn’t. For a moment she thought, if she was still enough, everything would disappear.

After what must have been a minute, she finds herself scrolling down her phone. She knows this is a bad idea, but she doesn’t listen to herself. Instead of forgetting, she falls into a cyber-hole of old conversations, cute pictures and old memories between them. Songs dedicated to each other.

Somehow she ended up on Jennie’s Instagram page, trying not to register how she had deleted posts of them together. She understands that it is what it is – should she really expect her ex to have images of them holding hands and going on dates? It’s natural. Chaeyoung had deleted the pictures of them together too, still, she can’t help but notice how the heaviness in her chest doesn’t disappear.

Yet, she knows that not everything was lost. At first, she doesn’t believe her eyes, but there she sees two familiar wrists showcasing their tattoos somewhere in the middle of unrelated images. Chaeyoung knew instantly when it was – the day they had gotten their tattoos. When Jennie was so proud of herself for handling the pain, despite nearly crushing Chaeyoung’s hand during the process.

Just minutes after they had paid, Jennie had insisted they go outside to take a picture. She smiled brightly that day, she remembered, as they held their wrists close together to snap the moment forever.

However, Jennie had deleted the caption, as it used to say something along the lines of “The queen loves her roses”. It isn’t surprising that is has been deleted since, though she’s not sure why the post is still there.

Looking at the date, she suddenly realizes it was exactly two years ago today.

She knows she shouldn’t, but for some reason, she finds herself sending the post to Jennie. Even if she probably is asleep or could care less about the image, Chaeyoung couldn’t help but wonder if Jennie even remembers that day herself.

Trying to get her mind off everything, knowing her alarm was about to ring any minute, she gets up from her bed and gets ready to start her day.

She hears her phone buzzing in the distance, and when she gets around to checking it, she finds herself puzzled by the reply.

@Jennierubyjane: I was just thinking about it actually, lol

Chaeyoung is actually surprised and doesn’t really know what to say to that. Still, she opens the message and thinks about what to say. Maybe she seems desperate for answering so quickly, but what does it matter anyway?

@roses_are_rosie: You were?

She doesn’t know why she begins to get her hopes up, even if she’s not sure what she wants in that moment.

@Jennierubyjane: Of course, how could I forget?

A minute passes as Chaeyoung watches the typing notification on her screen. She looks away from her phone to grab some clothes for the day. As she gets dressed, she peeks over to the screen.

@Jennierubyjane: It’s not as if it’s not stuck with me for life… or you, for that matter

She’s not sure how to read into it – if Jennie meant that the tattoo she had also was permanent or if Chaeyoung held a permanent part in Jennie’s life.

Her eyes gaze out to the rising sun and the beginning of another day. She wonders again what she was supposed to feel. Maybe anger, sadness, regret…

Still, a smile forms onto her lips, despite knowing that it didn't change anything that was happening. Still, she decided to ignore that, lying to herself that maybe everything would be alright.