Four months. 

Four months of torture, loneliness and sadness.

It's been four months since I last saw her.

Talked to her.

Held her.

She's my girlfriend...at least I think she still is.

When she left for tour, I sent her text messages everyday, but she wouldn't even read them. I tried my hard to be patient. Until one day, 127 days after. I got tired and told myself that she'll just come back whenever she wants.

Everyday, I write her messages, like what I am doing right now. But just like every other messages I wrote, they'll stay in my drafts.

Gyuri,

I feel like you're fading away. I feel like my feelings for you are fading but is it really? I keep thinking that you're the one, but my friends think otherwise. They say you can't fight for us, I said you're scared. They say you don't love me anymore, I said its not true. I see you whenever I go, I think of you wherever I go. I just can't seem to stop. I get pushed out of my own limits. I can't handle it anymore. I want to go and talk to you. To tell you that we're strong, beg you to keep fighting. Beg you to hold unto our love. But... I have no courage. I want us to get close to again. I want to hold your hand again. But I can't seem to speak a word. No one understands me, I can't seem to tell anyone about these stupid feelings. I'm scared of us fading away. I feel li