That Seulgi died a long time ago. I don’t know the girl who’s standing in front of me and I owe her nothing. She just couldn’t figure out how some words could haunt her that much. She hadn’t felt guilt o regret in years, so she couldn’t understand how those words, from someone she had sworn to hate, were able to torture her. It wasn’t actual guilt, intrusive thoughts at best. They creeped into her head in every moment and became deafening, until she lost her breath. Then they disappeared. When she finally felt peace she didn’t think about them that much but she had to admit they were starting to stress her out more than needed.

She loudly slammed the door of her office. It was early afternoon, late November. Jongin had kept himself out of her way, from what she had heard he was the first one to arrive in the morning and the last one to leave when evening came. He spent his time in the practice room waiting for his hiatus to end, keeping on rehearsing to always be ready. She hadn’t come across any member of Nebulae for many days and she was in a great mood. She had just booked a trip to Maldives, where she would have spent Christmas, New Year’s Eve and from which she would have rely in the second half of January, when she had received a call from her secretary. Her father wanted to talk to her. If it was something important he would have personally contacted her and he surely wouldn’t have reached her secretary. She hated the idea of being summoned like that and she had tried to call him but he hadn’t answered. She had nothing better to do anyway, that’s why she had gathered the little patience she had to leave her office and go to see her father.

I was working, surely a foreign concept to you, what do you want? — she stated while entering the room, making her father’s secretary jump while pouring him a cup of tea. The woman looked at him to ask him if she had to leave them alone and, after being invited to do so, she put down the mint tea in front of the man and got out. He stared at his daughter for some seconds before taking a sip.

I want to know why, the day of Jongin and Doyeon’s sentences, you tried so hard to get Jongin fired as well… — why was he asking now, after days, that question? She tried to read his face but he was too busy sipping his mint tea to reveal anything else if not, maybe, that the drink was too hot. She crossed her arms right under her chest.

Because it is an unfair treatment — she marked her words again. She had to give him an explanation, she didn’t want the ghost of her misdeeds, which she was sure would remain unpunished, to come and haunt her again.

At this point it would be better to get back Doyeon rather than firing our best artist, don’t you think? — what was implying with that rhetorical questions and with that sudden, unexplainable curiosity was a mystery to her. Maybe he wanted to tell her that he had changed his mind and that Doyeon would come back under the Dinasty label… all of her work would be vain.

No, I don’t think so. She broke the rules and you above all, who always talk about how everyone should follow them, should have made your favorite pupil follow them. Or maybe he’s above them? — thinking was extremely hard, the air seemed crystallized and full of mint scent. She was feeling strange, as if her head was spinning, but she was perfectly aware it was just a side effect of the anxiety which was rising inside her and which she was trying to ignore. Her father sipped his tea. He looked thoughtful. What could be haunting him like that? She wanted to ask it, she wanted to know if she had something to do with it, but she didn’t want to sound suspicious. She watched him falling back on his chair.

I need to take into consideration also the company’s own interests and he’s the best artist we have. — Whatever was haunting him like that would torment her too if she couldn’t get any answers.

Rules are rules, father. Everyone must follow them. You have always told me so, here’s the proof that I listen when you speak: first what’s rational, then what we feel — she stated. Actually she had learnt that when she was way young, because in the last few years she had stopped listening to anything he said, she found everything an unnecessary waste of time. Recalling that old lesson could only do her good. He straightened his back.

You’re right. I’ll do it then — he nod looking convinced and smiled at her. She couldn’t believe it.

You’re going to fire him? — she blinked incredulous at her luck. The man put his elbows on the desk and barely smiled.

I think I need to reconsider my decision — he run his hand over his chin and phoned his secretary, dismissing Seulgi who left the room light as a feather. That was the best Christmas gif her father could give her. And yet… something had risen doubt in him. Maybe, more than something, someone. And she knew exactly where to find him.

To Jongin what entered the room seemed an hurricane rather than the daughter of his employer. Seulgi walked towards him so fiercely that for a second he actually feared he could be punched in the face and the girl enjoyed watching him backing off.

What did you tell my father? — he stared at her surprised, as if he had no idea what she was talking about and as if she was crazy.

Don’t look at me like that, as if you didn’t know what I mean or as if I’m out of my mind! — she said threatening him and taking some more steps towards the young man.

You’re acting like you are crazy — Jongin heard the sound before he could feel the pain. Seulgi’s left hand had crashed on his face causing a loud snap and she had raised it ready to do it again. Jongin used one hand to protect his face, the other ran to his cheek. It was burning and tingling. Seulgi was staring at him with her hand still in the air and pure rage on her face. She pointed her left hand’s index finger at him as a threat. Her lower lip was shaking.

Don’t you ever dare calling me crazy again — any other girl he had met would have probably burst out in tears in such a situation, but he had learnt that Seulgi was one of a kind and there was no reaction which could be predicted. She was staring angrily at him and she felt full of grudge, but her action hadn’t been caused by something in particular. She wanted to do it. She had done it. The young man seemed to understand that it had been a reckless gesture and that she knew it too. He felt comfortable enough to lower his hand from his face.

If you’re not crazy — she gave him a death stare — why did you just do that?

Boo-boo — Seulgi mocked him — will you cry now?

She was furious with him and she would have gladly punched him, but she had no idea why. Even the simple fact that he was standing in front of her staring at her with that usual kind look on his face, even after she had slapped him, made her even more angry. He shook his head, incredulous or discouraged. Maybe both.

You arrived here furiously babbling stuff about your father and you slapped me, I would say I have the right to cry or receiving an apology — Seulgi laughed forcibly, shaking her head and putting an hand 0n her stomach. The more grotesque she could appear, the better.

I owe you nothing. You, on the other hand, owe me an explanation! — she plumbed him with her eyes while he was staring at her. He looked sincerely confused on why she was there, and yet she couldn’t trust him. She trusted no one, not even her father, but most of all she had learnt not to trust artists. They acted on stage most of their time, nothing could prove they didn’t act even in real life. Once again the young man shook his head, but he also opened his mouth.

Bzzzz. Bzzzz.

First they heard the vibrations, then a jingle and his telephone started to ring. He glanced at her, as if we was deciding what was more important, but once again Seulgi saw herself being surpassed by something else. She massaged her temples while Jongin was moving away to answer the call. She had to stay calm if she didn’t want him to call her crazy again. He stared at her, his phone in his hand, and made a gesture to ask her to leave the room. She raised her middle finger at him and didn’t move of an inch. She heard him sighing, but instead of leaving the room he answered. She took her telephone and checked her social networks. She managed to completely forget about Jongin, who was taking at the other side of the room, and she lingered on some recent candids of her. It was funny and almost ironic how someone like her had fansites. And yet being the most chatted daughter of all Korea and maybe of all Asia had its advantages. She was lougly laughing at some comic sketch when she had a chocked scream, as if it was being suffocated. She raised her face just in time to see Jongin throwing his phone at the wall. Her father had probably delivered him the news of his dismissal. She took some steps laughing softly.

And I would be the crazy one? — then she got scared. He turned to face her, as if he had just remembered that she was there, and marched towards her. She stepped back, for the first time in her life sincerely terrified, but she found only the cold wall of the room. She closed her eyes, ready to feel the impact of his fist, but she only felt his hands on her shoulders. He barely shook her. He was shouting at her.

It’s your fault! — she had to be completely terrified because he immediately let go of her and she slid down the wall. A hand on her chest, she had lost her breath. Jongin had lowered his face and was leaning towards, his hands on his knees. He was trembling. If she could she would have crawled out of the room, but not only the young man was at a few centimeters from her and she was afraid he could catch her again, her legs were shaking so hardly that she wasn’t sure she could even stand. Not too surprisingly her voice was trembling as well.

What have I done now? — except making him fired? Absolutely nothing. But a part of her was telling her that would not have been his reaction if he had been called to be fired. Also, her father would have summoned him into his office, he would have never given him the news by telephone. She lost her breath once again when he stared at her. Tears were streaming down his face and his eyes were puffy and red.

It’s…It’s my father, Seulgi… — and she got it even before the guy could finish the sentence. Her stomach tightened and she closed her lips while he was starting to trembling even more in an attempt of making her understand what had happened.

Author’s note:

Hello friends, and welcome to another update!

I want to state that writing this chapter was… Very hard for me. At first i wanted to write about something else, to not exploit and use this topic just for some narrative purposes. At the end i decided to go for it, but i want you guys to know that i’m perfectly aware that this isn’t an easy-going topic. I totally understand your points, i won’t invalidate how you may feel about this chapter and narrative choice. Every reaction to it is totally okay, and i want to tell that if anyone of you will feel hurt or outraged by it i’m deeply sorry. I wrote stories for many years now, and somehow, at this point, writing this story, i wanted to prove myself that i can talk about real-life situations and still being respectful. That’s what i tried to do while writing this chapter and i hope my purpose to talk about it while being respectful was achieved. I think it’s also important for me to keep myself accountable and i’ll understand every single response that my decision will cause.

I don’t think i should add anything more than the usually wishes for you to be healthy and happy. If you liked the chapter give it a thumbs up, comment anything in the comment section down-below and i’ll see you soon on the next chapter~ ♡