“What the are you doing?” Doyoung leans out his window looking at me. My hand was raised, a small rock in my hand. I was in the process of throwing a second rock at his window to get his attention.

“I’m coming up!” I whisper yell, moving to climb up the white fence like thing Doyoung’s mom has against their house.

“Yah, it’s three in the morning!” Doyoung huffs quietly as I climb.

Kim Doyoung and I have been good friends since the school year began this year. So roughly four months. He moved to our school around the end of the year last year so he didn’t have many friends coming into this year. We ended up hitting it off in our study hall class.

Ever since then we’ve been the best of friends.

I reach Doyoung’s window and he slowly yanks me into his window trying to not make a sound. My feet silently hit the floor and I sigh relieved.

“What are you doing?” Doyoung puffs crossing his arms over his chest. Instantly his eyes lower over my attire. I can tell he’s confused.

“Let’s go to a party!” I cheer quietly.

He squints his eyes moving back up my body to my eyes. “I’m going to need you to pull your skirt down before you say anything else.”

“The skirt is supposed to be this short.” I glance down laughing silently.

His eyes move back down to the short hem of the mini skirt. He shakes his head. “It’s like 35 degrees outside?”

I shrug. “So what?” I nudge him. “Come on let’s go!!”

He sighs. “Just this once, alright.”

He moves towards his window. We would have to sneak out. His parents were strict so there’s no way we could just walk through the house in fear of getting caught.

“Whoa, you aren’t going anywhere dressed in your pajamas.” I place my hand on his chest to push him towards his closet.

He rolls his eyes. I follow him into his closet and pick out an outfit for him. “Change into these.” I shove them into his hands crossing my arms over my chest.

He nods and just stands there.

“Are you going to step out so I can change?” He sasses.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Dear god, you prude.”

Doyoung steps out of the closet in the outfit and I smile. “See I’m awesome at picking out outfits!”

“Whatever lets go.” He moves past me to the window.

-

“Doyoung come overrrrr.” I cheer into the phone.

“Are you drunk?” Doyoung’s voice echoes through my phone.

I glance at the two empty bottles of soju on my coffee table over to the two full ones next to them. “Not yet, just tipsy.”

“You haven’t been yourself lately, are you okay?” Doyoung asks seeing right through what I was covering up with alcohol.

He knew me too well. It was sort of a bad thing.

I laugh. “What do you mean? I’m totally fine!”

He sighs from his side of the phone. On second thought maybe him coming over was a bad idea. He was sort of a party pooper when it came to parties and drinking.

“Nayoon.” Doyoung says, I hear him fumbling around on his side of the phone. “I can come over in a half hour, my brother’s game will be over then.”

I shake my head even though he can’t see me doing so. “No that’s okay, I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

“I thought you were drinking?” He asks.

“I was, I mean I am. But I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“It’s seven o’clock?” He hums.

“So?”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Nayoon.” His voice calm.

“Do what?” I lean forward grabbing one of the full bottles of soju.

“You’re pushing me away.” He says, his voice again calm.

I laugh, I pull the phone away from my ear to take a drink. “I’m not Doyoung, I promise. I’m just tired that’s all.”

He sighs. “Fine, you’d better be at school tomorrow.”

“I will.”

“Bye, see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.” I sigh hanging up on him. I chug some more soju before wiping my mouth off.

To be honest I was kind of lonely. My parents were always out working and friends for me came and went. Doyoung has been my longest friend.

Drinking and partying sort of became my thing since they were always happening. They were always there. Alcohol was an escape from my lonely life.

-

I cheer to myself as I poor some more alcohol into my cup. I felt Doyoung’s eyes on me.

I glance at him. “What?”

He pulls the cup from my hands. “This is like your sixth cup in the half hour we’ve been here.”

I squint at him confused. “And?”

His eyebrows knot together like he was slightly angry. “You’re drinking too much. We’re here to have fun not for you to drink until you pass out.”

I laugh lowly. “I’m not going to do that. Besides I am having fun.” I pull the cup out of his hands.

He pulls it back. “No more for a while. Can’t you try not to drink for a while?”

I let out a low sigh. “I’ll try.”

He sits the cup down and pulls on my hand. We reach the back door and he slides the sliding doors open, cold air instantly hitting us.

“Yah it’s too cold! Let’s stay inside!” I whine grabbing onto his arm.

He laughs and tugs me out anyways. I pout to myself as he tugs me to sit down on the concrete beside the pool. The pool cover was over it since it was too cold to swim.

“What’s so fun about being out here?” I hum glancing back at the warm house.

“It’s fun cause I’m out here.” He smiles goofily.

I roll my eyes but snort at him. I lean back against one of the pool chairs. Doyoung lies down letting his head rest on my lap as he stares up at the sky. I too glance up at the sky my hand absentmindedly goes to his jet black hair.

My eyes dart down to his hair. “Wah, your hair is so soft!”

His eyes move from the sky to me. His hand moving to touch his hair. “Is that so?”

I nod, “damn it’s cold.”

Doyoung shakes his head laughing. “Says the person who once wore a skirt so short her was hanging out in 30 degree weather.”

I huff, tugging his hair roughly. “You’re never going to let that go are you?”

He sticks his tongue out at me. “Never!”

My eyes move back to the sky and I hum. I guess this wasn’t so bad. After staring for a while I got bored. I don’t see how people can do this for hours.

I glance back down at Doyoung expecting to see him staring up at the boring sky but he wasn’t. His eyes were on me.

I squint confused. “What?”

He shrugs. “Nothing.”

I let it go but he still stares up at me. “Two can play at this game.” I smirk at him.

So as I stared down at him he did the same staring up at me. I let my finger come up to trace over his eyebrows and then down his nose. My index finger pauses on the end of his nose before I pull my finger entirely off his face.

My eyes are now drawn to his lips. I don’t know if the alcohol was finally hitting me or what but I suddenly felt myself moving forward. He didn’t seem to care or maybe he too had drunk too much because soon our lips were hovering over one another. I place a light peck on his pink lips.

My mind clears a bit and my eyes pop back open to see Doyoung’s eyes open too. Oh man, this was not supposed to happen.

what do I do now? I’ve already made my intentions clear? Do I play it off as I’m drunk and pull back now? Or do I just go for it and play it off as I’m drunk then too?

Doyoung blinks up at me before I felt his hand on the backside of my head. He lightly tugs my lips onto his again. This time his soft lips kiss back with desire. I push the confusion to the back of mind as his pink plump lips lock with mine.

It was odd. I was severely confused. But I really think this was because of the alcohol.

-

The next day I woke up in my bed regretting the kiss last night. It didn’t last too long but it shouldn’t have happened at all. We were friends? Friends don’t kiss.

I end up in my living room running a hand through my hair annoyed with myself. God way to screw up another friendship.

I move into the kitchen opening the fridge up. In the door of the fridge were four bottles of soju.

-

Someone knocking aggressively on my door wakes me up a couple hours later. I was somewhat tipsy after drinking two of the bottles of soju earlier. So I have to lean against the wall to make it to the door.

I open the door up and lean against the door frame. Doyoung stood on the other side his smile turning into a frown at my appearance.

“Oh hey!” I laugh.

“Have you been drinking again?” He asks his voice void of any emotion.

I giggle. “Just a bit.”

He tilts his head to the side and sighs. He moves passed me into my place and I slowly move to shut the door and follow him.

He’s standing in the middle of the living room staring at the soju bottles on the coffee table. “I thought you said you’d try to not drink?”

I swallow glancing at the soju and back to him.

“Don’t you see I’m trying?” I gesture to the two full bottles.

“No you’re not.” He shakes his head. He glances around at my messy apartment and back to my appearance.

“Doyoung, it’s harder than it looks.” I cross my arms over my chest.

He snorts rolling his eyes. “That’s why you ask for help, that’s what I’m here for.”

I stay silent.

“What’s wrong that you just had to down two bottles of soju?” He asks his brown eyes boring into mine.

My jaw tightens. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

He runs a hand through his black hair. “Is it about last night?”

My eyes lower to avoid his.

He hums. “So it is. Are we going to talk about it?”

I stay quiet again.

“Do you regret it?” He asks and I slowly nod.

I hear him lightly chuckle. “I never stood a chance did I?”

“What?” I ask him my eyes moving back to his tall form. His gaze wasn’t his usual soft stare, it was a look I’ve never seen on him before.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He shakes his head.

“Can’t do what?” I move a couple steps forward.

“This.” He points between the two of us.

“What do you mean by that?” I say my heart dipping down into my stomach. This scenario has played out so many times so I figured I’d be used to it by now. But this time around it hurt even more than usual.

“This, us. Whatever we are.” He gestures again between the two of us.

“It’s my fault for falling in love with someone who’s immature.” Doyoung says almost like he was talking to himself, his voice firm and loud.

My heart sinks once again. He loved me?

My eyes widen at the realization.

“I uh-should go.” He nods to himself.

I couldn’t quite get this through my head. Kim Doyoung loved me. Me? How could this even happen? He knows how I am and how I act?

I had realized too late. I had to let him go. Just like I had done to everyone before.

“It’s okay. I understand. You can leave. They all do.” I offer him a small sad smile.

“You’re not going to guilt trip me like you’ve done everyone else.” Doyoung harps, “I know you too well, Lee Nayoon.”

My smile falters. “I’m not, just leave Doyoung.”

He stares at me and we don’t move or talk or anything for a moment before his gaze lowers to the floor. And he takes his last first step out of my apartment.

As he passes me by I resist the urge to grip onto his arm to keep him from leaving. When I hear the door open my heart speeds up.

“Don’t go.” I say quietly. But he doesn’t hear me since I didn’t say it loud enough for him to hear. So the door shuts leaving me alone again.

My eyes fly over to the soju on the coffee table and tears prick at my eyes. I rush to the table and fall to my knees picking up one of the remaining full bottles. Wrapping my fingers around the lid I open the bottle. I bring it to my lips but pause last second.

My eyes flit to the bottle before I slowly sit it back down. I let my head rest on the table as my tears fall onto the glass surface.

-

A week later I sat on the couch as my mom came in from her late shift. She notices me on the couch. “Are you not going somewhere tonight? You’re usually out doing something on Saturday nights?”

I glance at her. “Yeah I’m going somewhere later.” My gaze moves back to the tv where nothing was playing.

She nods. “Alright well I’m heading to bed, goodnight have fun!”

She leaves the hall and I sigh. Jaehyun was holding a party tonight. He usually had one every other Saturday. I guess I might as well go.

-

I walk into Jaehyun’s and for the first time ever I feel out place at a party. I had never attended one by myself. Doyoung was always by my side. It felt awkward and boring.

I move past a couple making out openly in the hall and I have to push past more bodies until I can get into the kitchen. I glance back out into the hall. It’s weird but before I never noticed that all of that was going on. I mean I knew in the back of mind people were here but I never talked to them or even looked since I was usually in a conversation with Doyoung.

I turn back around to stare at the alcohol lined up on counter. I sigh and move forward pulling an empty cup from the stack and pouring some vodka into it. I stare down at the clear liquid for a couple of seconds before raising the cup to my lips.

Once the alcohol touches my tongue I pull the cup back down from my lips the liquid pouring from my mouth back into the cup. I stare down at the liquid again. It didn’t taste the same anymore.

I place my hand on my phone inside my pocket pulling it out. I pull up Doyoung’s contact. My finger hovers over the call button but I let out a low sigh. I move to sit the cup of alcohol down. I pull out a bar stool while I’m at it. I take a seat and glance down at the contact information again.

I click on the message button instead. It wouldn’t hurt to message him once.

To: Doyoung

From: Nayoon

I’m at Jaehyun’s. Do you think you can come? I understand if you can’t since it’s late. I just feel so out of place here by myself. I’m so lost.

I swallow at the sent message. I lock my phone and hold it against my chest.

“Oh you’re by yourself tonight?” A guy comes up to the counter beside me picking up a cup.

I nod. “Yeah I guess.”

He pours himself some alcohol. “You and your boyfriend break up or something?”

I lower my gaze at how he called Doyoung my boyfriend. “You could say that.”

He leans on the counter. “I can keep you company if you want?”

I shake my head and send him a small smile. “No that’s okay.”

He glances back at the alcohol. “You want a drink? I can make a mean gin and tonic.”

I shake my head no. “That’s okay. Thanks though.”

He laughs. “You mean to tell me you aren’t even going to drink?” He leans forward. “I’ve seen how you can drink, you aren’t a light weight. One drink won’t hurt you.”

I politely smile. “I’m not in the mood tonight, sorry.”

“Come on just-.”

“She said no.” Doyoung’s voice interrupts him.

My gaze flies to the side to see him standing with his hands tucked in his pockets. He was here already? He was in dress clothes, which was odd for him. He was more of a casual dresser.

The guy instantly backs up. “Okay okay. I just was just asking relax.” He nods towards us both before leaving.

My gaze moves to Doyoung who stares back at me. He shakes his head and moves to the sliding doors that lead outside. Was he leaving?

The constricting feeling was in my chest again.

“Are you coming or not?” Doyoung says over his shoulder as he steps out leaving the door open for me.

I quickly hop off the chair and move to the door. Tugging my jacket together to keep the warmth inside. I shut the door behind me and I move to find him.

He’s standing down near Jaehyun’s mom’s garden. I move to stand behind him, I take his tall figure, his broad shoulders.

I move closer until I’m inches from him. I slide my arms around him from behind holding him against me. I felt him tense up.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble into his back. “I want you to know that letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever did.”

I could feel his heart beating fast in his chest. Whether that was out of anger or love I’m not sure.

“I’ve always been lonely and drinking was my way of coping with that feeling. And when we kissed I thought it was a drunken mistake on both our parts and that things would get awkward,” I pause. “And that we’d fall part.” I tighten my arms around him. “I didn’t know it but I was pushing you away without knowing how you felt, I’m sorry.”

He stays silent and I bite my lip to keep myself from crying but tears form in the corners of my eyes anyways. “I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore, I agree I was being immature. But I might never get another chance to say this, I love you Kim Doyoung.”

I felt his hands rest on mine as he pulls out of my embrace. “You’re not leaving already, are you?” I swallow.

He turns around to face me. His arms wrapping around me pulling my face into his chest. His chin rests on top of my head.

“Dear god you’re trembling.” He mutters moving to wrap his coat around me.

I wrap my arms around him again this time underneath his coat, holding him against me as suddenly I’m bawling.

I hear him chuckle. His hand rests on my back as he runs it up and down trying to soothe me. “It’s okay, I’m not going to leave.”

He pulls back to look down at me a small smile gracing his face. “I mean I never said I didn’t love you anymore. I just called you immature, even though I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry too. I should’ve stayed and talked things out more.”

I shake my head. “No you were right, I needed this to happen so I could wake up. I needed to see that you were there when no one else was.”

He shakes his head. “You would’ve realized it sooner or later regardless.”

His soft brown eyes bore into mine. He quickly pecks my lips and I suddenly felt a bit shy. He laughs and tugs me back into a hug.

“Why are you dressed like this?” I ask him, tugging at his dress shirt.

“I was at a family get together at my Uncles.” He sighs pulling back again. “He lives down the street.”

I nod, “Is that how you got here so fast?”

He nods our eyes meeting once again. He bites his lip. “Do you maybe wanna get out of here?”

I my head to the side. “Where would we go?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Well there’s no one at my house right now..?”

I giggle at his words. “Are you implying what I think you’re implying?”

He snorts at my giggling. “And what do you think I’m implying?”

“Kim Doyoung, don’t try to turn this back on me.” My fingers rest on the hem of his dress pants tugging him closer to me.

His lips purse. “Are we going?”

I smirk. “Yeah, let’s go.”

-

At Doyoung’s we rush inside trying to get out of the cold. I take in the house once my shoes are off. This was the first time I’ve been inside, I had only been in his room since his parents were strict. I usually just snuck in through his bedroom window if I needed to see him.

He hangs up his coat on a nearby rack before turning back to me. “Do you want something to drink or anything?”

I shake my head. “I’m good.”

“Okay,” He pauses. “Um we can go to my room then, we can like watch a movie or something?” He takes off and I laugh lightly to myself.

I follow him up to his room. He gestures for me to sit down on his bed so I do. He names off a couple of movies for me to choose from before we decide on one. He puts the movie in and shuts the door before moving to sit beside me.

Not even twenty minutes into the movie I can tell he’s bored. He’s moved to lay his head on my lap.

My hand absentmindedly runs through his hair again. I laugh as I notice his gaze is set on me. “Is the movie boring?”

He shakes his head, I smile down softly at his adorable expression. “I can’t focus on it with your damn hand in my hair-mmph.” I cut him off with a kiss.

He leans up into me to get a better angle as he kisses back. His hand moves to the back of my head as he moves to sit up. Once he’s straight up he starts leaning forward causing me to lean back onto his bed. His other hand comes up to cup my hip, one of his knees presses into the mattress between my legs as the other rests beside my hip.

He pulls his soft lips away from mine to catch his breath looking down in my eyes. I take a few deep breaths myself before moving my hands to roam over his clothed chest. He moves back down to plant his lips on the crevice of my neck, planting smaller kisses along the skin there.

His other knee moves between my legs and he runs a hand up my leg to pull it around his hip. His other hand moves to the hem of my shirt. He pauses pulling back from my neck to look me in the eyes as if to ask permission to continue so I smile and lean up to kiss his lips once more.

With that his hand slides underneath my shirt and my hands slide down his chest to his pants. I manage to hook my finger on them and I the button before the door to his room opens.

“Oh god.” A male voice draws us apart. We both whip are heads towards to the door. There stood his older brother, Donghyun. Doyoung flies off me buttoning his pants back up and I sit up crossing my legs pulling a pillow in front of me. I mean it wasn’t like I was or anything but it was still embarrassing.

Donghyun awkwardly waves.

“Is he home?” I hear a female voice down the hall.

Donghyun’s eyes widen. He quickly steps out and closes the door behind him.

Doyoung whips his head towards me and I punch him on the arm. “Yah why did this happen?”

Doyoung awkwardly scratches at the back of his head. “Sorry I didn’t think they’d be home this early!”

The door flies open and an older woman, who was most definitely his mom steps into the room her eyes flying to me. Donghyun sends us a look from behind her and gives us a sheepish shrug like he was sorry.

“Kim Dongyoung!” Her voice raises calling him by his real name and Doyoung immediately stands up lowering his head. “I thought I told you there were no girls allowed in your room!”

“Dongyoung brought a girl home?” Another voice comes from the hall. A man, his father comes into view standing beside his mom.

I move to get up out of his bed to stand beside him. “Um hello.” I bow towards them.

“Mom. Dad. This is my girlfriend, Nayoon.” Doyoung says raising his gaze to meet their’s.

His dad smiles towards him but his mom sighs. “Dear god.”

She shakes her head. “It’s nice to meet you but we don’t allow girls in Doyoung’s room. Especially with the door closed.”

I force myself not to laugh at her strict rules. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

Even though it totally will.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this one! I have posted this oneshot once before on my Vingle account. (my username is Halsyeon on there) Sorry for any mistakes!