Hyukjae groans as he struggles to get himself to his feet. His knees are sore and wobbly, and there is a dull pain in his lower back. He throws a dirty look at Donghae, who is sleeping fitfully on his side of the bed.

Bastard, Hyukjae curses mentally. He winces as he puts a foot forward, and he staggers to the bedside table. He whimpers, his eyes squeezing shut. “,” he hisses.

Donghae immediately wakes up at the sound, a little dazed, but he starts laughing at Hyukjae when he saw him leaning on the bedside table, his white legs trembling in a struggle to carry his weight.

“Yah!” Hyukjae screams. “This is your fault, so carry me! I need to go to the bathroom!”

Donghae hurries to him, laughing loudly. “Okay, but it’s also your fault for coming up with all the ideas.”

“It was your fault for even considering!” Hyukjae shouts, glaring at the elder with disbelief.

Donghae hauls Hyukjae into his arms, and plants kisses on his face. “Awww, baby. You’re so cute and small like this.”

Hyukjae pushes Donghae. “Urgh, you’re older. Stop indulging my every whim.”

“I just can’t say no to you,” Donghae reasons, landing another kiss on Hyukjae’s swollen mouth.

“Good,” Hyukjae asserts. He leans forward to lock his lips with Donghae, and shoves his tongue through his mouth. Donghae moans into the kiss, his hand clutching the back of Hyukjae’s neck.

~

“How are things?” Kyuhyun asks through the phone.

Hyukjae looks around, covering his mouth slightly to speak. He hears Donghae turn on the shower. “Good. It seems like we’re back to normal.”

“Hm,” Kyuhyun says. “Good. So no more of that past stuff?”

“Pretty much, we haven’t talked about it since then,” Hyukjae said, throwing a glance towards the bathroom door. “I do feel like we’re always running out of time though.”

“Are you sure that it’s not because that we’re about to start a new semester? We’re about to graduate,” Kyuhyun suggests helpfully. “We have a lot of papers to do.”

Hyukjae sighs. “That might be it. I’m just being my anxious self.”

Kyuhyun snickers. “I’m glad you notice.”

Hyukjae looks to their window, noticing soft, white matter raining from the gray sky. “Merry Christmas, Kyu. Thanks for being my clutch.”

“Well, you’d do the same. And congratulations on your engagement, you .”

Hyukjae laughs out loud. “I’m sorry!”

“You didn’t even tell me! It’s been two months! I can’t believe I have to find out from Donghae.”

“It was spontaneous.”

“Why? What happened?”

Hyukjae lies down on the bed and stares at the ceiling. He lowers his voice again. “I said it out of nowhere, but he was the one who told me that whenever I’m ready, he will get us golden rings. He already gave me a silver ring-”

“Oh, so that’s what it is.”

“Yeah.”

Kyuhyun hums. “Are you sure you’re not getting married to him because you’re afraid that he won’t stay?”

Hyukjae swallows.

“Hyukjae,” Kyuhyun sighs. "Don't marry him for the wrong reasons."

“I’m fighting for him,” Hyukjae whispers. “I’ll do whatever.”

Hyukjae can sense Kyuhyun rolling his eyes.

“Okay, you can love with all your heart and all that sappy , but you’re losing your mind, Hyuk. At least, hold on to some rationality. Donghae needs professional help,” Kyuhyun continues. “You’re not exactly...or anywhere near professional.”

Hyukjae sighed. “I know, Kyu. The two of us will get there.”

~

Hyukjae giggles and leans his weight onto Donghae’s steady walk, and they zigzag out of the straight path as they fight to keep their balance. The snow had come in earlier, and it’s still pouring on them, touching the trees and the ground, falling on their hair and eyelashes. Donghae brushes a pile of snow away from Hyukjae’s hood, and they continue to make their way towards the crowded mall. They are going to see the lighting of the Christmas tree tonight.

“You seem okay now,” Donghae comments, pressing his lips together. “Were you just pretending so that you can get whatever you wanted?”

Hyukjae pushes Donghae, but ends up slipping a bit.

Donghae catches him immediately, steadying him.

The younger glares at him. “You’re an idiot. Pain doesn’t go away immediately.”

Donghae grinned, and tightens his grip on Hyukjae’s waist. “No, seriously. Are you okay?”

Hyukjae’s face starts to heat up. “It still hurts, but I can manage.”

Donghae kisses Hyukjae’s temple. “You want me to carry you?”

Hyukjae scoffs. “No.” He folds his arms petulantly.

“Does my baby want to be carried? Yes he does!” Donghae cooes at him, his voice changing.

Hyukjae breaks away. “Yah!” He shouts. Random people passing by shot them looks of annoyance.

Donghae laughs out loud. “Calm down.”

“I really hate it when you use that voice on me. It’s creepy!” Hyukjae protests.

“I can’t help it, you’re too adorable.”

“Remember a time when I was cold to you?” Hyukjae brings up. “You better stop before I bring back those times.”

Donghae shuts up at that, but his eyes twinkled in good humor. He grabs Hyukjae’s hand, and they continue to make their way towards the Christmas tree. The dark sky made the snow glow, and with the Christmas lights all around, it gives the world an aura of magic-that anything can happen, and that prayers can be answered.

Donghae pockets his hand that was enclosed around Hyukjae, warming his cold hand up.

“I’m cold,” Hyukjae mutters, pressing himself closer to Donghae’s warmth. “Let’s get drunk after.”

Donghae chuckles. “Are you sure? I have too many videos of you drunk singing, and I get secondhand embarrassment.”

“Well, drunk singing and my retardedness are what you are marrying.”

Donghae laughs. “I guess.”

Following the throngs of people, they slowly make their way towards the giant unlit Christmas tree.

Hyukjae turns to Donghae and bites his cheek affectionately. “What time is it?”

“Eleven forty-five. Fifteen more to go,” Donghae replies, giving Hyukjae an amused look. “You’re way too lovey-dovey right now. Are you really okay? Do you have a fever?”

Hyukjae shakes his head, his eyes lighting up, brighter than any of the golden lights around them. (Donghae reckons.)

“I’ve always been lovey-dovey. You’re just an annoying puppy that’s way too clingy that you overshadow my affections.”

“But you’re marrying my clinginess, so you’re stuck with it forever,” Donghae sings.

Hyukjae laughs. “I’m really cold. Go grab us something warm to drink. You know what I want,” Hyukjae says, pushing Donghae to get him going.

“Me?” Donghae suggests, slowly backing up.

“Yeah, you, but we’re not exactly in the right place to get warm,” Hyukjae counters sarcastically.

Donghae smirks at his dirty implications, and walks up to him to give him a deep kiss.

Hyukjae stares at Donghae’s retreating figure, a little breathless and a little bit more in love.

~

Hyukjae bounce on his toes, looking around for Donghae’s face, but he has not appeared yet. The Christmas tree is now lit, dazzling a sea of faces with its white light, but in Hyukjae’s opinion, it looks more like a blur to him.

Where is Donghae?

Hyukjae pulls out his phone and presses call.

The number you’re trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please call-

Hyukjae frowns and he tries again.

The number you’re trying to-

Hyukjae growls in frustration. And he calls again.

Finally, the other line picks up.

“Yes?” Donghae snaps.

“Donghae! Where the hell are you?” Hyukjae shouts into the phone. Panic rises up his throat.

Silence...then, “Who are you?” Donghae asks, his voice hard.

Hyukjae takes a deep breath. “What? Donghae?”

“How do you know my name?!” The voice demands.

Hyukjae winces. He sounds too rough. Too angry. “Donghae, where are you?”

The latter hangs up, and Hyukjae whirls around wildly. His heart thunders against his chest, beating to get out. He runs to any direction, blindly and without strategy.

Donghae, please. Stay where you are.

Hyukjae runs around the whole compound, pushing people aside and scanning their faces. The snow from the sky starts to turn into icy rain, but Hyukjae cannot give up.

He retraces back his steps, but still, no sign of Donghae.

“Kyu!” Hyukjae shouts into his phone.

“Ow, what?”

“Donghae’s gone!” He cries hysterically. He grips his hair in panic.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not-I can’t find him!”

“Okay, Hyuk, calm down. Have you called him?”

“He said he doesn’t know me!”

Hyukjae bends over his knees, trying to catch his breath. This is too much for him.

“Okay, Hyukjae, go home. If he can’t find you, then that’s the place you two will meet,” Kyuhyun says in his calm voice.

Hyukjae hangs up in frustration. He didn’t have the strength to continue explaining. Kyuhyun doesn’t know.

Donghae’s gone. His Donghae.

The icy rain pours on him, but he didn’t care. He crouches down and he cries his eyes out. He screams into the night, ignoring the looks that people shot him.