It's been 6 months since I finally escaped that hole of a place. It was the night President Jaeshin revealed that everything was a ing scheme for power; that I am just a ing science experiment gone right. The ing conclusion of a hypothesis seemingly unreasonable in the midst of a chaotic downfall. I realized that I didn't want to be a part of that. I couldn't allow myself to assist the same system that took everything from me and from the innocent people just like me.

Leaving behind some simple words, fitting into a disguise, and manipulating the schedule I knew all too well, the process was more a matter of will than difficulty. I already had the medical uniform from helping out every day, and with the strategy I had always used to sneak around the place, I put the shift exchange of government employees up for good purpose. With the president's device in hand, quick movements, and light steps, I ran and I ran until the exit was seconds in front of me. Headed towards the emergency medical employee door, I stopped to take one last look of goodbye to the man I love with all that my small body can. Tears filled my eyes and my chin quivered as a sob choked up in my throat. I let the last short moment sink into my brain, and building up all the strength and determination I needed to continue, I whispered those three words, "I love you," and took those final steps out into the world that is now unknown to me. As alarms go off and red lights flashed from inside, I huffed my lungs and pounded my legs until I was sure there was no hope in finding me. Announcing my last message to the world I just left behind, I pressed send on the device before throwing it to the ground and stomping it into the dirt.

"This is for them. Now go a ing a ."

Chanyeol was really the only thing holding me back. No matter how badly every part of me wanted to run and hide the second I realized that a life without Chanyeol was more than possible, the uncertainty of his fate without me there was enough to put a break to my determination. It wasn't until I realized that if Chanyeol could talk to me, he'd tell me to go; that he would want me to survive, because he'd do anything he could to make sure I was okay, that I knew I had to do this. With that thought in my head and anger running through my blood, I finally did.

Throughout the journey, I've crossed paths with some other people who made it too. Apparently, some others managed to escape just like me. Many are protesters, and some are government employees who's consciences couldn't handle all the evil and scheming of the president. No matter their reasons, they were all driven away by the same evil. They call themselves The Vagabonds, and they accepted me with open arms. They listened to my story and they shared theirs. They fed me and they helped me to survive, and now I try to do the same for them. We stick together, sneaking through the night and hiding ourselves from the eyes of others, merely living this life of survival together in this dark, vast world.

As for everything back at The Headquarters, I don't know what happened to anyone else. I don't know what happened to the few people who have managed to make it that far, The Others, the president, or Chanyeol. I don't know who's alive or if anyone even is alive. I don't know if the president succeeded or if his whole plan came crashing down. I can only try my best to forget it all.

I still have dreams, but they aren't as they used to be. As time goes on, the dreams become more and more of a blur. Some nights I don't dream at all. I can no longer make sense of them, and, quite frankly, I've stopped trying to. I tell myself that maybe whatever experiment caused this to happen is wearing off; that the farther I stray from the evil it originated from, the less that part of me is attached.

My life has become a series of nothingness, survival, and an endless number of questions. I often wonder why I'm still alive. That question kept me up at night and tore me up these past few months. But now, as life goes on, I'm beginning to see the calm in the storm, and maybe everything will be okay. Because I am alive. I am here. I don't know what I am going to do from now on, and I don't know if my existence means anything more than the fact that it's still here. But I'm alive. I made it through what many didn't and couldn't, and even though I lost the things that I considered to be my world, I fought against all odds, defied the laws of death, and I made it to a new one. I've achieved all that Chanyeol wanted for me, and after a long while of fighting against the guilt that pitted inside me, I realize that he would be proud. Hyung would be proud. And part of me is proud, too.

I've made it a goal of mine to always look ahead; to always be ready and determined to fight through anything the world pushes my way. Ive made it this far, and now it's my chance to live my life for those who lived their life for me.

For you, Hyung. For you Chanyeol, the love of my life.