"I'm fine." I insisted, wiping my hands on my sweater and ducking to hide the tears on my face. "Come, let's go and eat."

I carted all 3 cups outside and sat down in the benches facing the convenience store, averting my tear-streaked face away.

Baekhyun slid into the seat beside me and there was uncharacteristic awful silence beside us.

I instantly filled it up with the slurping of ramyun. Seafood first. Yummy carcinogens. 

I almost thought Baekhyun had left, because it was never quiet for more than a moment when he was around but then he suddenly muttered, "Wow, you're in luck today. Look who's here."

I glanced up from my mini binge into the convenience store. 

Of course, just the one person I wanted to see in my stupor. Do Kyungsoo. I rolled my eyes at the ironies of life.

He was handsome as ever, with his cute spectacles perched on top of his perfect nose, his serious face gazing at the drinks available. And he picked black coffee, but of course I knew that already. I knew everything about him. And no, I am not a stalker. I am just very well acquainted with his preferences.

"Hoes over bros," Baekhyun muttered darkly, "You're ogling him again."

I immediately resumed my slurping. "Am not." I would never admit it. Not to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun and I belonged to the party crowd in school. The ones who didn't do well in school. The ones who knew how to have fun. That's how we rolled, and we had a lot of fun indeed. Kyungsoo was the school valedictorian, respected by juniors, marvelled over by teachers... and ridiculed by my friends for being a nerd.

"I don't know what you see in that prude. " He snorted. "He's probably done with his homework twice over and this is his idea of a break."

Baekhyun was never nice with his words. But he was probably right. And somehow, I liked that aspect of Kyungsoo. I admired his dilligence and hard work, which was something I lacked. He prioritised his studies over short-term enjoyment and he was striving hard for his future. I wished I could be like that, too. He was my mentor during a senior-junior tutor session, but he has tutored many juniors and he probably doesn't know I'm alive.

And I'm going to be dead pretty soon. That's just fancy.

"Hey, if you like him so much, I'll help you."

I turned to Baekhyun incredulously who looked surprised that I was finally looking at him.

"So you do like him."

I considered his offer. I did like Kyungsoo. And considering I didn't have much time left in this world, honestly, dignity was not an issue anymore. What did I have to lose?

"Well... yes I do." I put down my chopsticks. "I have the biggest blithering stupid crush on Do Kyungsoo."