I’m pretending as if Jisoo hasn’t woken me up. I know I’m running away, but I’m afraid to face her this soon. Afraid of what feeling seeing her would bring when my heart is already hammering so violently against my ribcage at the simple fact that she’s beside me.

Jisoo shifts endlessly, moving closer and closer like she sometimes does when she tries to subtly-but-not-so-subtly wake me up except this time, every move she makes and every light breath that brushes my exposed skin makes my heartbeat get a little more erratic each time.

“Lisaaa, wake up…” Well, there goes her subtlety out the window.

I fake an irritated groan and turn my back on her, providing myself a little space away before my heart combusts, praying to all the gods that it will be enough to get her to stop pestering me.

But, even the gods hold no power over her because she maneuvers and sits on top of me. Jesus Christ. I wonder how much a heart can take until a person goes into cardiac arrest. Might as well die tonight. Everyone’s going to die, anyway.

“C’mon, I have something important to tell,” Jisoo says, repeatedly poking my shoulders. And, I can see her pouting in my mind's eye.

There’s no point in ignoring her when she’s like this. There’s no way she’s going to stop.

“God, what is it?” I sigh through my nose, opening my eyes to look at her.

“Hi!” Her pout turns into a wide smile but reverses just as quickly. Her delicate fingers reach out and gently caress the baggage around my eyes. “Have you been crying?”

It’s quite ironic that such a pure and sweet gesture can make the emotional turmoil come rushing back like a pack of wild bulls in a rodeo gone wrong; like my heart is throwing up rainbows and sunshine while being pricked by thousands of needles at the same time.

I take her hand away from my face before I prospectively malfunction on the spot.

“Just watched a sad movie is all,” I lie. And, that seems to have convinced her because her smile returns, so bright that it puts the sun to shame. I stare at her curiously, my lips forming a genuine smile of its own at how blissful she looks.

Her happiness has always been contagious… so contagious that it’s all it takes for me to forget the predicament that I’m in. It seems as though her happiness outweighs everything else. Yeah, that seems like it.

“Okay, wait.” I sit up, holding onto her waist, and slide back so I can lean on the headboard. “Damn, you’re heavy. What did you have for dinner? The entire menu?”

“Hop off my .”

“Last time I checked, you're the one sitting on top of me.”

Jisoo laughs, lightly punching the top of my chest. This is already an unending cycle, I tease, she smacks, we laugh, but never has my heart ever skip a beat as it does now.

“Okay, but why do you look so disgustingly happy?”

Jisoo’s smile grows even bigger, making her eyes disappear. It’s the smile of hers that I like the most and I allow myself to bask in it.

Don't get me wrong. Jisoo was undeniably stunning last night, but right now… Jisoo in her pajamas with no makeup on, just her bare face and her beautiful smile… just the beauty in the simplicity of it all, of her all, makes my helpless heart go haywire for the umpteenth time.

And, it may take time to fall in love with someone, to figure out if you are, but one second in a certain moment, no matter how complex, sober or not, is all it takes to realize that you already are.

And, this is my moment. I am, without a single spec of doubt, in love with my best friend.

“That's because I’m getting married!”

An icy shiver runs down my spine. “You’re what now?” I blink, begging the gods that I heard her wrong, but Jisoo reveals the hand hidden behind her back and shows the ring on her finger that glimmers in the light.

And, I can only let my fists clench onto the helms of her shirt desperately, unheedingly as if that will stop her from falling further away from me as if that would stop it from being true. I don’t know what else to do.

If someone told me yesterday that I’d be utterly destroyed when my best friend announces her engagement, I would have still laughed, but here I am now... utterly destroyed and nowhere near laughing.<