JISOO'S POV

        Seoul Homes lists the best apartments available in the market, well supposedly, but I’m here staring as vacant as the places listed on my computer screen after crossing all of them out in my head because none of the ‘best’ is good enough.

I groan, my elbows on the table, palms holding the weight of my head, fingers pressing my temples. “Are all the good ones really taken already?”

“Not me, last time I checked.” Lisa has sneaked behind me and whispers in my ear.

“Jesus! !” I jolt hard, my hand clasps on my chest. Lisa laughs like crazy. “I will kill you!”

I exclaim that but my body sinks into her hug like it’s second nature when she circles her long limbs around my neck. She just came back from work and out of the shower. Her wet hair drips cold water through my shirt, and usually, I would be annoyed, but I’m too comfortable to complain right now.

“Oh, you meant apartments,” Lisa says when her laughter dies off, her chin on my head. “These seem pretty decent to me. You’re just too picky, Jisoo. And that’s not a bad thing.”

“Not a bad thing?” I ask, tilting my head up a bit so I can look at her.

Lisa just winks and smiles so wide, her cheekbones pop. “Anyway, enough of that. I’ve got a better plan to spend the night.”

Her lips lightly brush my forehead, so light it felt as though she just breathed on it before she stands straight again and slams my laptop shut. She proceeds to the kitchen and pops a bottle of wine she bought on the way home for no reason.

“You were actually serious? Why?”

“Yeah? Should there be any other reason besides I want to be wine drunk with you?”

Lisa rolls her eyes all the way to the back of her head when I just stare at her with incredulity and amusement. She almost stomps like a little girl, one hand holding the bottle and two wine glasses and the other now grasping my wrist, pulling me with her to the couch.

“You have work tomorrow.”

“I know, but please?”

Lisa huffs through her nose and pouts like a baby, and a smile spreads on my face. She reminds of those underground tunnels I see in the movies where there are different paths to choose from and they lead you to different exits — from the hustle and bustle of the city streets, to a house cradling a family of four, or to the creepy alleyway somewhere no one ever dares go to. It’s so random, each of them a surprise, and that’s what makes it compelling.

Lisa’s personality is just like that. She can be mature. She can be playful and fun. She can be scary and intimidating (oh god, it’s true when they say you should be afraid when nice people are mad). But in the series of her tunnels I’m pretty sure I’ve all already wandered into, there’s one hidden path that I found, that only I can have access to, that she only gave access to me even if she’s maybe unaware of it.

Leaving your home country and family at such a young age to study in another country in which you are not accustomed to the culture, the people, and the language leaves you no other choice, but to be independent. Lisa is no different. Sure she had her guardian to look out for her, but they could only do so much. My best friend learned how to look out for herself at such a young age (it actually amazes me how despite that, she still doesn’t know how to cook).

So when Lisa shows this side of her, when she opens this tunnel where she acts like a baby, like she wants to be spoiled, I still marvel into it as I wander and wonder like it’s the first time, taking careful, slow steps and enjoying the walk, even in the many times I’ve been let in, because I know the multiple and complex locks and clogs of the door to this path only and solely opens for me. Not even her ex-girlfriends, no, because she loves being the mature one.

It’s like my tiny privilege in and of itself and I realize that I find myself always indulging her.

“Jisoo?”

“Hm?” I hum blankly, unaware of how I’ve been carried away by my distant musings and suddenly aware of how I’m not laughing anymore. I clear my throat when I see Lisa looking at me curiously.

“I kinda lost you there,” Lisa breathes out a chuckle, sitting me gently on the couch and setting the wine on the table. She meets my gaze again with the same curiosity not leaving her eyes. “What were you thinking?”

I don’t want to tell her for some reason. ‘For some reason’ is that I’m afraid that if she isn’t, in fact, aware of it and suddenly becomes, she would shut the path down completely because of her pride or whatever. And I don’t want that.

“Nothing,” I brush it off calmly and apparently convincing enough because Lisa just shrugs and reaches for the remote. I pour wine into each of our glasses and hand over one to her, a knowing smirk tugging on my lips.

“I knew you can’t say no to me,” Lisa says. Her big goofy grin occupies almost half of her impossibly tiny face.

That’s exactly what I was thinking to sum it all up. In the spectacle of our dynamic where we are mostly just a couple of chaotic individuals when together, wanting to punch each other’s throat as a norm, I like the usually not directly spoken and hinted with jokes and jabs, but obvious part, where we also care for each other deeply.

I love indulging her even in the littlest ways and I don’t want that to be taken away from me, especially now, because for the most part since I lived here, she’s been the one taking care of me. She rarely ‘opens the door’ and asks for anything anymore. She just gives and gives. And I’d love to give back in any way I possibly can.

I’m not blind. Of course, I notice.

It takes knowing a person for so long and so well to be familiar with the even rhythm of their breathing when they’re sleeping and well it’s Lisa… I honestly don’t know anyone more, so I noticed the uneven ups and downs of her chest when I used to cry myself to sleep because she knows, without me telling her, that I needed space. I noticed how she just looked out for me in silence; how she always welcomed me in her arms and embraced me so securely when I move to her side of the bed when I’ve already cried myself dry and still couldn’t fall into slumber.

How she took the liberty of getting my stuff from Suho’s because she knows how much I don’t want to see him again even if she abhors him too. How she finds time to accompany me when I just want to jaunt around Seoul to keep my mind off of things. How she would hold my hand and squeeze it reassuringly when I suddenly stiffen because I see something that reminds me of my ex-fiancé. How she takes breaks from her work or life in general, just to give me attention and listen to me complain about everything or nothing at all, even though she’s extremely busy.

Lisa is always there, her presence just hovering around or planted beside me, helping and guiding me through my healing process… and even out of it. And if I list those too, then it will be unending.

The thing is Lisa always indulges me too, in more ways than one. I owe her a lot.

“Okay, what is up with you, creep? Why do you keep staring? Is that a habit you picked up?” Lisa shifts uncomfortably beside me and nudges my shoulder hard. When I just smile sheepishly, she points a finger to my face. “Oh, no, No. You’re not smiling your way out of this. You, ma’am, are gonna tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Fine.” I swirl my wine around, taking a whiff of it, and sigh contentedly. “I’m just. Thankful. To you, for everything.”

When Lisa doesn’t respond, I look at her again. Her big, doe eyes are narrowed, but I catch the smile trying to break out of her lips before she manages a disgusted grimace.

“Ew. Forget I asked, I don’t need you getting cheesy on me.”

“Dork.” I roll my eyes fondly, flicking the top of her ear a little too hard than I intended because it reddens instantly at the contact and she winces. I utter a quick sorry and my hand reflexively shoots back to her ear to softly rub the pain away.

Lisa jerks back. It almost looks comical how her eyes widened and how fast she faced front to hide her face from me. She probably thinks I didn’t notice the redness of her ear spread like a plague to her cheeks. A giggle bubbles in my throat as I put my hand back on my lap.

It’s true when I said I don’t know anyone more than I do Lisa, but in certain instances, even after so many years, I still discover something new. Things that shouldn’t be a big deal, but I like them nonetheless. It’s like finding a couple of paper bills in a bag or a pair of pants I haven’t used for so long. It catches me by surprise, then it makes me feel giddy because I found something I wasn’t expecting.

‘That spot of Lisa’s ear is sensitive as ’ is my last thought with a silly smile stuck on my face before I zeroed in on the movie she’s chosen for us to watch.

“Prisoner of Azkaban?”

“Uh-huh, best Harry Potter movie,” Lisa answers, her voice about an octave higher.

Not when you’ve read the book, no, I wanted to say, but I’m not in the mood to engage in another Harry Potter argument with her, so I drink my wine instead.

//

Lisa popped another bottle for herself when we started the next movie. I can’t handle my alcohol that well, so I stopped drinking after the first bottle, feeling the buzz in my head. I’m drunk, mind in a frenzy, world spinning faster than normal, but not too drunk to lose bodily functions and sensible thoughts.

I'm lying on top of Lisa’s lap, her fingers playing with my hair, curling strands of it, and I’m drunk enough not to care about the occasional, embarrassing purrs that leave my lips when she gently drags her fingernails on my scalp. Lisa hears the last one and she giggles, tilting her head down. An easy smile settles on her lips.

“I love you, you know?” Lisa says so off-handedly as if she just said the most obvious thing in the world.

“And you accused me of being cheesy.”

Lisa throws her head back in laughter. “It’s the alcohol talking. Sorry,” she releases a long sigh, then continues to watch the movie.

I love her too, you know. Yeah, sure, we date other people, but we will always be each other’s person. We