Description

Hyukjae cheats on Donghae.

Donghae gives him an ultimatum.

But will Hyukjae be able to fix their relationship once he finds out what Donghae wants?  And what if Donghae finds faults within himself?

Will it be worth it anymore?

 

Foreword

Inspired by a certain video I watched where Donghae was sad and Hyukjae tried to help him feel better, but gave up in the end because sometimes people just need their space. 

Warning: ANGST.

 

Chapter 1
The beginning

"I cheated on you".

Donghae was at a loss.

"With who?" He asked.

"Doesn't matter. It was a mistake"

"Do you even know Hyukjae?"

Hyuk flinched. The first time in 5 years since they started dating that Donghae called him by his first name.

"What does the name matter for? I'm sorry! I...I..was drunk and-"

"Since when do you drink?"

True. Hyuk couldn't remember, he hadn't touched a sip of alcohol in 6 years, even before he met him.

"So what you're saying is that you got drunk, slept with some person, and now your telling me?"

"What do you mean now? You make it seem as if it happened years ago."

Donghae turned around and began walking to their bedroom.

"What are you doing Hae? Please don't do this." Hyukjae pleaded.

5 years, he never thought for a second before those years that he would ever meet someone as perfect as Hae. The man never drank, never lied, came home everyday at around the same time, cooked, cleaned; the perfect wife.

"Don't do what?!" Hae turned sharply. "Five.years.Hyukjae." He said through clenched teeth. "Half of a decade! You don't get that back!"

"It was a mistake. A drunken stupid mistake. I love you Hae! I've loved you longer than we've been together remember? I was the one who asked you out while you were drooling over that Spencer transfer student and you rejected me. I was the one who took you in when your parents died. I was the one who loved you even when you thought you could never love again and now I'm asking you to give me a chance. The same way I gave you one."

Hyukjae's eyes were overshadowed by his light brown hair with his head hanging low, but choked sobs could be heard with tears soaking into his white button up shirt.

Hae who was rage packing his bag, closed it and dragged it across the bedroom floor. The wheels making angry screeches across the chestnut colored wood. Stopping briefly in front of Hyukjae, who lifted his head up at the sound of footsteps, and slapped his face. A vicious red scarring his face.

"I gave you a chance when I said 'yes' after you proposed to me. But what does a ring mean except wealth or ownership? When did it ever mean love? I'm going to Kyuhyun's house. When you're finally able to tell me what you being my fiance meant, then I'll forgive you. But if you're unable to tell me what our love means, then 5 years a waste this was."

Hyukjae watched Hae through watery eyes as he removed his ring, grabbed Hyukjae's hand and placed the ring gently into his palm before enclosing Hyukjae's hand around it.

"Goodbye Hyukjae."

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"Soooo is this a long term thing? Cause you can move into my room. I'm sure the couch isn't that comfortable. Though that angle looks pretty good on you."

Kyuhyun, Hae's best friend was currently checking out said friend.

"Kyu please. He hates you enough."

Hae flopped onto the couch, his head in his hands.

"UGH! What am I gonna do! What if, what if he doesn't know the answer? What if he can't find an answer? What if he quits! What if-"

"What if I said that I love you?"

Kyu sat next to Hae on the couch who was staring at him open mouthed, so he did the next best thing: Kissed him. After a few seconds Hae pulled away, jumping a few feet away, yelling and pacing a hole into the floor.

"How could you do that! No..no wonder he doesn't like you! You love me!? Kyu we've been best friends since we were children. We're 24 for Christ sake! I'm engag- I am in a complicated relationship." Hae stopped pacing and sat on the couch again dramatically.

"Complicated?" Kyu huffed and crossed his arms. "He cheated on you. That sounds pretty clean cut to me."

"Kyu you don't understand!"

"Understand what?" Kyu was getting agitated. Hyukjae cheated on Hae. How hard could that be to understand?

"I love him! He's been nothing but-"

"A liar."

"No, I meant nothing but-"

"A cheater"

"STOP IT! You don't know anything! He saved me and made me feel complete again."

"Basically, you're saying that you're with him because of some guilt?"

Hae slumped further into the couch. Now he was questioning himself. Was he really only with Hyukjae not out of love, but guilt? To repay back what Hyukjae has done for him?

Maybe their time off was for the best. Both had made a mistake without realizing it"

"Kyuhyun?"

"Hmm?"

"Do..do you really think that's the reason? and do you think maybe he really doesn't care?"

Kyu sighed when he heard Hae crying...again. Before it was how Hyukjae ignored him, or Hyukjae was late, or...there was always something wrong. Maybe this time he might actually have a chance...to steal Hae away. If only he hadn't introduced Hyukjae to Donghae. Then Hyukjae wouldn't have had to save Hae and he could've. Then Hyukjae wouldn't have been able to propose to Hae and he could've. Then again...

"How about we make him jealous?"

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"KYU! What kind of outrageous plan is that! No, no, and NEVER!"

Hae got up in a huff and walked to the kitchen, grabbing himself some strawberry milk from the fridge.

"And that is exactly why he will never find the answer! You need to spice things up, make him green with envy."

Kyu snatched the strawberry milk from Hae's hands and drank it, his face morphing into one of disgust.

"I thought you didn't like milk."

"I don't."

"Then why- anyway, no! I don't want a green husband"

"Hae, you idiot. It's the color that represents- why am I bothering to explain a color. The point is to make him realize what he's missing out on. Let's start with you in a dress."

"Oh no. No. No. No. No. Not after that single ladies one." Hae exclaimed, flailing his arms and shaking his head like a dying fish.

"Exactly. We need something worse than that."

Kyu ran up to Hae and threw him over his shoulder.

"Now my lady, onward!"

"KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Sometime later....

"I hate you. I hope you die. I hope you choke on a bone and-"

"Ya I get it already. Stop chanting that. You look too beautiful to be a creep."

Hae stood up from his seat on shaky legs.

"This is your idea to make him jealous?"

Hae was wearing a gorgeous red dress. It was a little above his knees, strapless and although he doesn't have s, his filled out everything for him.

"Yes now turn around."

Hae turned slowly. His heels making it complicated and his bangs covering his eyes. His dyed blonde hair was naturally long since Hyukjae always said he liked to hold onto something when they make love.

"Damn. I would-"

"AH! Please don't finish that sentence."

" your skin from top to bottom, make you scream my name so many times you forget you were ever with another man. Touch you everywhere and give you so much pleasure your eyes would roll back."

Kyu said as he his lips to emphasize his words.

"Why. This is for you! Admit it! This has nothing to do with Hyuk and all to do with you wanting me in a dress."

"Well..." Kyu stared behind Hae. He could see Hyukjae's face, but since Hyukjae didn't notice them yet, he decided it was time he did.

"It kinda was, Donghae!"

"Why did you say my name so loudly for!"

Hyukjae upon hearing Donghae's name being called, turned just in time to see Hae's face before Kyu grabbed him by the back of his neck and smashed their lips together.

Green with envy he was.

 

Chapter 2
Rage

Hyukjae ran to where they were, pulled them apart, and punched Kyuhyun on the mouth.

"Kyu!" Hae turned to see who the culprit was. When he saw it was Hyukjae, he blushed instantly, but then recalling what happened, and that his best friend was now bleeding, rage filled his thoughts.

"How dare you Hyukjae!" Hae kneeled towards Kyu, trying to soothe his pain.

"How dare I? What about you!? We haven't broken up, we're just...fixing somethings, but that's still no excuse to do this to me!"

"Really, you're one to talk. In case you forgot, you cheated on me. Must I remind you so many times?" Hae said helping Kyuhyun onto his feet.

Hyukjae stumbled backwards. For a second he really had forgotten what he did, and the rage of what he did stained the blood pumping through his body.

"I...I'm sorry Hae. Please just-"

"Just what? Haven't you done enough Hyukjae?" Kyuhyun interupted.

"This has nothing to do with you so back off!" Hyukjae exclaimed, drawing closer to Kyuhun. Hae immediately sensing the tension stood between them.

"That's it. Hyukjae leave. He's just trying to help."

"How? By tearing us apart?"

"You tore us apart when you couldn't tell me why you loved me! Why you were another's name!" Hae's eyes were spilling over and the pure pain shown within them, silenced everyone.

"I can't believe I thought I was guilty. Guilty of thinking my love for you was based on how much you've done for me. Now I realize why I loved you, because you were simply Hyukjae. That awkward dork who tripped on air every time he saw me. The idiot who asked me out in engrish. The moron who...who was the first person to say 'I love you' and the very person I gave everything to. Now look at me, I'm the stupid one who is wearing a dress to make you jealous, and for what? I...I..I'm sorry. I can't."

Hae tried to run away, falling in the process because of his heels. Hyukjae ran to help him, but Hae slapped his hand away, trying to remove his heels when Kyuhyun pushed Hyukjae out of the way, scooping him into his arms. Hae's head on Kyuhyun's shoulders while thick, heavy tears fell down his cheeks.

"Take me away Kyu..."

As Kyu heard, he started walking away leaving a silently sobbing Hyukjae in the wind.

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As Kyu walked, he stared at a sleeping Hae in his arms, tears slowly cascading down his cheeks. He knew Hae was a deep sleeper, an earthquake couldn't wake the man. Sighing he began talking to Hae as if the words would enter whatever dreams he was currently having.

"I admit Hae. I am selfish. I've watched you run into the arms of another man for years while never saying a word. You can't even imagine the speech I had for you that day I was going to ask you out. It was long and silly, but it was honest. Then that bastard came and stole you away. I was...frozen. He saved you. I waited too long to make my move. In your eyes he was perfect, so damn untouchable; until now. Now you've found a flaw and I can't help but to exploit it further. Even if you never fall for me, I won't let another chance pass me by."

As they reached their destination, a hotel to spend the night, Kyuhyun took Donghae to a room and started to undress him; getting undressed as well. Both men left in their underwear. He placed Hae gently onto the bed before joining him.

"You might hate me for this too, since this hotel means more than you might know now, but I love you too much to tell you the full truth."

"Forgive me Hae." Kyu said with a sigh and soon pulled Hae to snuggle into his bare chest.

On the otherhand, Hyukjae stood still in the same spot crying. Hae's words had attached themselves to his brain like little bombs that had detonated when Hae left. He knew he was an in more ways than one.

Finally he knew how much of an impact on Hae he had. What he didn't realize were the exact reasons why Donghae felt guilty. Guilt? Wasn't that his job? Did...Hae....no. No! How could he ever think that!? Someone as perfect. Well, no one's really perfect. But Hae...Hyukjae shook his head, and turned to go to his car, pulling his shades on so that no one would recognize him after all that chaos. Afterall, they were right in front of his company's building: J.H. A blossoming retail store with Hyukjae as it's CEO.

Entering the car, he pulled on his seatbelt, and took off his glasses. Furiously wiping against the newly created tears. With a plan to drive nowhere until he received a text message:

                                                            Luscious Hotel: Room 415

                                                                        ~Donghae

 

Chapter 3
Reasons

Hyukjae's heart sped up when he read the message. Luscious hotel? It couldn't be. That was the place that...he had woken up... with a girl sleeping on his arm. Shaking his head to get rid of the unwanted memories, he soon arrived in front of the hotel. Throwing his keys at the awaiting valet. He ran inside searching for the desk.

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"Welcome to Luscious Hotel. Would like to purc-"

"No m'am. I need a room key to 0415."

The woman checked her computer. "I'm sorry sir but that room is occ-"

"I know that. Please my husband is waiting for me in there. He sent me a text message, see?" Hyukjae pulled his phone out to show her the proof that he wasn't trying to rob or kill anyone.

"Oh well. That's a different story, we have a spare key. And I say, you look very familiar...OH! You were here with that woman the other night. Shame on you! I shouldn't give you this key at all. Cheating on your husband!"

"SHH!" Hyukjae put his finger to his lips, signalling the lady to be silent. "I...I don't know who she was. Okay? I'm trying to get my husband back, please help me just this once?"

The lady glared at Hyukjae. If stares could incinerate people, Hyukjae would be ashes by now.

"Fine." Hyukjae smiled sadly. "The woman was almost carrying you. So much for a good time. You could barely stand. Here's the key, you figure out what you need to on your own. 4th floor, room #15 on your left."

Hyukjae stared at the lady, questions forming in the air between them. But grabbed the key regardless and ran to the elevator, pressing the button harshly.

"Come on, come on." The doors opened, revealing 3 1/2 walls and a door. It was empty. Sighing happily, Hyukjae walked inside, pressing the 4th floor button. Maybe Hae was finally ready to make up, was all he could think of. Maybe they could move past this mess. Over 5 years for 1 disasterous mistake didn't make sense. He wanted Hae. Every fiber of his being craved for Hae every second of everyday. He couldn't lose him. Correction, he couldn't live if he lost him.

Unbeknowest to him was what was waiting for him inside...

As Hyukjae entered the key and turned the knob he heard a moan.

"Hmm so comfy" It sounded like Hae's voice, as he opened the door another voice sounded "I know Hae baby".

Hyukjae's heart dropped. In shock, he slammed the door open, turning on the light when he found it and a loud gasp followed.

"H...hae? and K...kyuhyun? n..na..?" Tears threatened to spill. Just how much more could he take? He knew he was wrong, but he never expected this. Never expected to see Hae snuggling into the arms of another man, that man being his enemy and Hae's best friend.

Hae hearing the noise, moaned some more. He shifted into the bare chest, yawning and mumbling "Kyuu~" and with that, Hyukjae left more heartbroken than ever. Hae might have chose him in the beginning, but the end was for someone who had never done Hae wrong; Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun was awake the entire time, but kept his eyes closed and his arm wrapped around Hae. Slowly he unwrapped his arm from Hae and got up as gently as possible. Hyukjae didn't hear it clearly, but he did. When Hae mumbled, his mouth pressed firmly against Kyu's chest, he had said "Hyuk~" but to Hyukjae who was a few feet away it sounded differently. As happy as he was to be that close to Hae, he was also torn apart on the inside. Especially when he realized how clueless Hae would be when he awoken and how shocked later on, if Hyukjae did anything else.

Without wanting to, he had just pierced the love of his life's heart, his fingers wrapped around the handle marked Lies.

He turned just in time to catch a few sobs flowing out of Hae's mouth with light tears soaking the sheet he had layed his head upon.

It seems his words did reach Hae; in his nightmares.

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FLASHBACKS:

Donghae and Hyukjae met when they were 15. Hyukjae had a girlfriend named Seono and Donghae was single.

Their first meeting was rather dramatic as Hyukjae accused Donghae (over the phone) of seducing his girlfriend, whom Hyuk had learned cheated on him. While Hae just stood silent and took the anger. He never was one to put up a fight.

They had never meet in real life before, all they could do was match a voice to a face and soon they met up at Sungsong Park.

Hyukjae had arrived first and was pacing back and forth angrily. He was going to pummel that guy's face in until he'd become a bloody pulp.

Donghae soon arrived and as he drew closer saw an angry man pacing a hole into the cement. Fear struck him immediately as he realized that 'yes that is Hyukjae and he's going to kill me'.

Hyukjae having heard someone say 'kill me' out loud, stopped and turned his head just in time to see a boy shorter than him with short wavy dark brown hair staring at him.

"Hey! Are you Donghae?" he yelled.

"What's it matter to you?" Hae yelled back.

Hyuk shook his head and thought 'damn this kid's an idiot he just gave away his identity'.

"Will you stop-"

"Could you two be any louder!?" An ahjumma spoke up. All the yelling had awoken her baby.

"Ahjumma, I'm trying to solve-"

"Sheesh you young men and your high testosterone! If you're going to ask him out ya don't need to yell." The ahjumma said while holding her cheeks as if blushing.

"W...WHAT!?" Both of them yelled at the same time. To say they were embarrassed was an understatement as people nearby started cooing at them.

"I'M NOT GAY!" They said at the same time.

"Aww look at them ahjumma, they're already in sync! I remember when my husband and I were like that. Oh I miss my youth." Another woman spoke up staring at them with bright eyes hoping to catch a sneak peak of whatever action they might do next.

Hyukjae angry and now offended, ran up to Donghae, snatching his arm and pulling them away to a more secluded area of the park.

"Hehe these hot blooded boys these days, makes me wish I was youthful too, I'd have snatch them up so quickly, their heads would spin. I have great moves ya know."

The ahjumma loked at the woman, got up and walked away shaking her head. "And they call me erted."

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Soon they reached their destination, a small bridge within the park. It only had about 2 people who were busy walking their dogs.

Hyukjae let go of Donghae's wrist and finally turned to get a good look at the seducer. Too bad Donghae was less than a foot away and their lips gently touched. Startled, they jumped away immediately with Donghae wiping his lips dramatically and Hyukjae standing like a statue with wide eyes.

"You stole my first kiss!" Donghae exclaimed. "I can't believe this. A guy stole my first kiss, someone with the same little guy-"

"My guy is not little. That's an insult." Hyukjae bluntly exclaimed.

Donghae blushed. "I..I.don't care! That's too much information!"

"I'm just saying, yours must not be little either." Hyukjae said, looking directly at Donghae's crotch.

"Have you no shame!? No dignity!? No pride!!!"

"I do. But Seono didn't exactly date me for my intelligence."

Donghae scoffed. "You have brains? They must be full of ."

"You're one to talk"

"Really? I'm not the one who slept with a ."

Hyukjae punched Donghae square in the mouth, knocking him onto the floor.

"1: I'm still a , 2: I realized that when she told me she slept with someone else, and 3: My 'preferences' have changed now."

Donghae pressed his middle finger onto his lower lip which was bleeding. He his lower lip and winced.

"So why punch me if you know it's a fact. I didn't seduce her, she tried to seduce me."

Hyukjae sighed, shaking his aching fist. "Because I've found someone else I like."

"What? Was it one of those ahjummas you creep!"

"No, you." And Hyukjae grabbed Donghae by the collar, pulling him forward into a searing kiss.

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Chapter 4
Echo

Kyuhyun was now fully dressed and eating breakfast from the roomservice that arrived minutes ago. He didn't have much of an appetite after what he had done the previous night, but if Hae were to awaken he'd be suspicious of Kyu, the king of food, who wasn't eating.

From his position on the table on the balcony, he could clearly see Donghae sleeping. To see such purity it brought him chills and agony at the same time. The agony at how Hae will feel later on.

Feeling guilty, Kyu left the plate there and entered the bedroom again. He quickly grabbed his jacket and left afterwards, not even sparing another glance at Hae.

What he failed to realize was that Hae saw and heard everything. He knew if he had awoken, Kyu would play it off as if Hae was simply recalling his dreams.

But Hae wasn't.

He was sobbing because he never wanted anything to come to that point. How could his best friend want him in that way? At first, he thought Kyu just said it to take his mind off of Hyukjae. Yet now, he knew that Kyuhyun was in love with him. Kyu was in love with him.

Even saying the words in his head seemed foreign. How quickly the meaning changed from the love of a brother, to the love of someone who wanted to be his lover.

Sitting up from his bed, his hands in his face, he sighed. He had to call Hyukjae.

As fearful as he was about approaching Hyukjae, the fact that he was now possibly using Kyu, hurt him. He was torn 2 different ways. Torn about his failing relationship and now his friendship. If he made a single error, he could lose both. Losing Hyukjae was like a knife piercing his heart, but to lose Kyu as well? Someone he's known his entire life, was what pushed the knife completely.

Getting off the bed, to grab his cellphone from his right pants pocket, he pressed speed dial for 'Hyukkie <3' 

To say Hyukjae was distraught, was a rough estimate. He was beyond distraught. His emotions were all over the place. After returning from the scene, he drove home and stayed in the living room; never having slept the entire night.

He couldn't.

But he also couldn't leave Donghae like that. If that was his way of getting even so be it, as much as Hyuk's heart was in pain, he was sure Hae had felt the same.

He decided that he would take a shower and go back to the hotel. He was fearful of what he might see again, but he didn't want things to end like that, if they were to.

Seeing the steam float around his body and the heat warming his skin brought relaxation. For just a moment, he had imagined that he had never cheated on Donghae, that Donghae wasn't in the arms of Kyuhyun, and that everything was fine.

But as he heard the phone ring, it wasn't, and reality sunk back in, the steam evaporating, and the water running cold.

Throwing on a towel, he exited the bathroom, making his way to the dresser where he picked up his cell phone. His eyes widened when he saw the caller I.D, it was a number he didn't know.

Answering the call, he heard a woman's voice.

"Eunhyuk? Eunhyuk is that you?"

Hyukjae was lost for words. Eunhyuk? Who the hell was that?

"Um...miss? you have the wrong numb-"

"That's impossible, you gave me this number personally."

"I...my name isn't Eunhyuk, its Hyukjae."

"I know, but you told me to call you with this number just in case your boyfriend picked up for you."

Hyukjae's blood ran cold. Not only was he a cheater, but the woman had his number, and he even told her to keep it a secret. 'I'm...disgusting' was all he could think. 'No wonder Hae ran to Kyu', tears filled his eyes. He tried speaking, but the words caught in his throat. Clearing it, he tried to talk again, to see if she could fill in the gaps.

"Look. I have someone I really love, someone I want to marry. I'm sorry, but what happened last week was a mistake. A mistake that if I could take back I would. Please don't call this number, forget it, forget anything ever happened between us."

"I'm pregnant Hyukjae."

Hyuk went silent. It was over. He could feel it, it was as if the world were telling him to give up. That his dreams of Hae being his wife, cooking dinner for them, cleaning the house, making love on every possible surface was no more. He wouldn't have Hae and they wouldn't get married.

Dread filled him to the very core. Every inch of his body went lifeless in an instant.

Hae would never want him again. His own parents would disown him. It took them some time to get used to Donghae and now an illegitimate child? That would be their death sentence, and at this very moment; his own.

"W...w.wha.t...?"

Hyukjae couldn't form words. Couldn't think properly. His life was crumbling before his feet. Why? Why did he do it? Why couldn't he remember? If he could remember, then maybe Hae would...

"It's yours."

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Maybe Hae would leave him entirely.

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"Hello? Are you still there?"

Hyukjae couldn't speak. Wouldn't dare to speak. He had hurt Hae in more ways than one.

A child? To remind him of the day he lost the best he ever had? He couldn't do that to them.

An innocent baby yet to be born and he already hated it. Loathed it's existence.

He wished he could rip the life from it, but it would never repay his sins, it would never fix what he had already done and so he chose to speak:

"Where do you want to meet?"

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Hyukjae entered the nearby cafe, grimacing at it's location. It was Hare and Tortoise, a favorite place for...when they were together.

He was never one to pray as he felt selfish for the things he prayed for, but right now he was reciting several different ones he had learned from a friend in hopes that Hae wouldn't show up.

With his dark shades on and a hoodie, he hoped he wouldn't be recognized.

Quickly sitting in the booth, he waited patiently for her to arrive.

Would she show up? Who was she? So many questions ran through his head. Until he figured everything out, he didn't want any word of it to spill out.

As the waitress came, he was thankful she couldn't see him, and so he ordered a water for himself and tomato juice for her. 

Minutes later the waitress returned, drinks in hand and set them casually on the table before walking off.

Hyukjae grabbed his water, taking small sips every now and then.

He looked at his watch "12:25 pm" Their meeting time was for noon. She was already 25 minutes late.

By 12:40 he was getting ready to leave, he paid for the drinks, sitting up from the booth and walked towards the door when a young woman entered.

It was Sunri, Kyuhyun's ex-girlfriend.

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"Hyukjae?"

He froze. Could...she be the woman? He still didn't know who she was.

"Ah...yeah. Are you...?"

"Her? Yes. Can we sit down? My feet hurt."

Hyukjae immediately pulled her to sit in the same booth. She saw the tomato juice and smirked to herself. 'Already falling into my plan huh?' she thought.

"So...um...you already know me. But I don't know you."

She pouted. But in Hyukjae's mind, her cuteness was nowhere near Hae's who could frown and still be cute.

"My name is Sunri."

She looked closely, studying Hyukjae's expressions. Since Hyukjae and Kyuhyun were never close, he wouldn't know about her.

"Sunri...doesn't ring a bell."

She smiled. "It's okay. I'm sure you're wondering about this. I...brought the papers from the doctor." She pulled out a folder from her purse.

"It's a DNA test. Before you left, you had brushed your hair saying it was messy and obvious. So I took a hair sample from there." She gave the folder to Hyukjae.

His mind went blank. He always dreamed of having kids, but ever since he was a teenager, he knew it wouldn't come from with a woman. Not after he had seen Donghae.

Examining the folder only brought more heartache. There it was a bold 100 next to his name. Feeling sorry for himself he realized that it was his mistake and that he couldn't let his child suffer for it.

He knew what he had to do, even if it would kill him.

"Are you hungry Sunri?"

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Donghae on the otherhand eventually stopped trying to call. After 3 times, it stopped ringing all together and he knew, Hyukjae wouldn't hear him out.

Instead, when his phone rang it was a different name he didn't want, "Kyu".

"Hello?"

"Hae?" a rough voice spoke.

"Kyu? Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. I've done a terrible thing without realizing it." Choked sobs could be heard on the otherside.

"W...what's going on Kyu? Don't tell me you've killed someone."

"I minus well have!" he shouted. "Please, let me see you Hae. Please."

Hae thought for a few seconds. Even if he didn't feel the same way for Kyuhyun, they were still friends.

"Alright. Let's meet at Hare and Tortoise."

"I'll be there in 10 minutes."

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Hyukjae and Sunri were eating in complete silence. No one had said a word after he asked her what she wanted to eat. Only Sunri would try to start a conversation to which Hyuk would half-heartedly answer or just mumble.

"Hyukkie"

"Hae?" Hyukjae looked up to find Sunri looking at him with curious eyes.

"Oh..I'm sorry Sunri."

"Who's Hae?" She gripped her knife tightly. "That's your boyfriend right?"

"Ye...yeah. We've- we were together for 5 years."

"Ah I see." Sunri scowled to herself. She had to get rid of him, but how? An evil plan formulated in her mind...

 

Chapter 5
Secrets or lies?

Donghae took a cab home. He felt so dirty and needed a shower, and clean clothes.

He put on some black skinny jeans and a plain dark blue shirt, what was the point of trying he figured.

Almost immediately afterwards he received a text message telling him that Kyu was waiting outside of the restaurant. He replied a simple, 'give me 15 minutes' before heading out the door.

Hare and Tortoise was almost a mile away, but he didn't feel the need to take any transportation.

A good long walk would help him clear his mind.

Halfway there he looked at the time '1:45 pm'. He was already 20 minutes late, but he didn't care. He knew Kyu would still wait, and in the mood he was in at that moment, it would be better not seeing him so soon.

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"Can I leave now? You've already finished eating." Hyukjae was impatient. He wanted, no needed to get out of there. He couldn't let Hae see him that way, not until they could talk in private.

Sunri, was instead taking her time and ordered dessert.

"What's the rush Hyukjae? I'm eating for 2 you know."

Hyukjae beneath his shades looked around, tapping his finger on the table.

"Or are you waiting for someone." Sunri's face was expressionless as she looked at him.

It became more of a staring competition rather than love gazes, until the waitress arrived with 2 Strawberry cheesecakes.

"Ah what's this" Hyukjae asked looking at the waitress. "I didn't order-"

"I did. It's okay you may leave."

Hyukjae stared at the plate. He loved strawberries. He loved them more than he loved eating, or pooping.

Staring, he pushed the plate towards Sunri.

"You can eat it, after all you're eating for 2 right?"

She glared at him and huffed underneath her breath. She hated strawberries, only having ordered them to get on his good side.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

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"Donghae!"

He lifted his head as he heard someone calling him. "Kyu!" He ran forward.

"What took you so long? It's already 2pm!"

"I know. I'm sorry, let's go in alright?"

"Wait" Kyu grabbed his arm. "Before that I have to tell you something."

"Can't it wait? I'm hungry. We can talk about it over-"

"It can't wait Hae."

"Well then what?"

"When we were 15-"

"Ah come on, that was over a decade ago. I forgive you for whatever it was."

Kyu merely grabbed his arm, pulling him to sit down.

"You don't understand. I'm the reason why you and Hyukjae met."

"What? No, that was Seono his girlfriend at the time remember? Geez if you're going to make up lies at least let them be good ones."

Kyu started sobbing. "I was the one who slept with Seono. She asked what my name was and I panicked, so I told her your name."

Donghae stood up angry. "Are you kiddng me? How could you! No wonder I couldn't find you for a week!"

Tears fell and made their way down Donghae's cheeks.

"There's more..."

"What is this Maury?" Hae laughed bitterly.

"It was an accident. I...I never planned any of this. It was her way of destroying me for what I've done."

Kyu kneeled in front of Donghae, grabbing his hands, choked sobs full of pleads and desperation.

Donghae forcefully removed Kyu's hands about to leave when the door opened.

Revealing Sunri in the arms of Hyukjae.

Donghae gasped, staring blank eyed at Hyukjae who had frozen when he heard the noise. His right arm wrapped around Sunri's waist, the other holding her left hand to help her down the few steps.

Too bad he didn't catch the glare Sunri sent him...nor the love gaze she sent Kyuhyun.

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"D....don...donghae"

Of all the places they could've met, naturally it would be where they had their first date.

Life really was against him.

Kyuhyun who was still kneeling, rose up when he saw Sunri. His eyes widened, but Eunhae didn't notice.

Sunri of course was beaming. She couldn't be more happier, until she saw Donghae. The scowl tickling the back of had Hyukjae eyeing her.

Feeling out of place, Hae tried to escape. First his lover cheats on him, then his best friend reveals that he used and betrayed him, and now as he saw Sunri with Hyukjae's arm around her waist he knew she was pregnant.

It ripped him apart inside, how much Hyukjae had wanted to have children.

But they had never fully discussed it because he's a man, he doesn't have a uterus thus he cannot give birth. He cannot conceive a child of his own and so the subject was never brought up.

He just knew, after all what kind of man in his mid 20s doesn't want to start a family?

Slowly his mind caved in, the air felt dense and heavy, his eyesight reducing to black spots.

As his body swayed, Hyukjae noticed and he let go of Sunri to grab onto him.

"D...o...n...g...h...a...e." The words were muffled. He couldn't make out what Hyukjae was saying. 

"hnnff"

"W...h...a..t? H...a..e? H.A.E! HAE!"

Donghae fainted in Hyukjae's arms.

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In the hospital, Hyukjae sat near Donghae's bed. He hadn't woken up in 2 days, the doctors citing 'chronic fatigue' as the problem, along with 'stress'.

Hyukjae himself was stressed.

After Donghae collapsed, he didn't think twice to lift him into his arms, get into his car and drive straight to the hospital leaving Sunri and Kyuhyun behind.

But that was the problem. Since he hardly ever left Hae's side, he hadn't heard from either of them.

Not that he cared about them. Yet wasn't Kyuhyun, Hae's best friend? Shouldn't he be by his side as well?

The fact that he knew about Kyuhyun's feelings long before Donghae ever did, got to him.

It infuriated him even though they knew each other long before Hyukjae ever came into the equation.

As he sat there gently caressing Hae's left hand, his thoughts went wild.

He loved him more than himself, that much he knew, but would Hae still love him after he finds out? They could always adopt the child as their own, but would Sunri give the baby up to them?

So many questions rang his head, all of them unanswered.

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3 days had passed before Donghae woke up. As he opened his eyes, Hyukjae was waiting for him. Kyuhyun decided to stay outside.Â

"Hae...are you okay?"

Donghae looked at him, trying to speak, but finding the words never leaving his mouth.

"The doctor says its from the stress. Maybe now we can talk? Or well I can?" he laughed nervously. Rubbing the back of his neck with his hand awkwardly.

"Please. I know what I've done, but hear me out alright?"

Hyukjae spent 2 agonizing hours worth of explaining, screaming, objects being thrown at him, and pools of tears before he was finished.Â

"Are you still angry with me?"

Donghae hadn't moved in 5 minutes, still taking it all in.

"Please do something, throw something, punch me, anything. I'm sorry." He got on his knees. "But don't leave me. I can't be without you, I refuse to. I will do whatever is necessary to get you back."

Tears cascaded down his face.

He was in pain.

In front of him was the air to his lungs, the very reason he existed.

"g...o..."

"What?" Hyukjae's head shot up, his eyes watery, but filled with hope.

"GO!" Donghae's voice echoed throughout the room.

All the hope Hyukjae ever had was crushed by one word. One single word he hoped would be 'stay' or even a short phrase 'I love you', two things he hadn't heard in weeks.

Sighing he responded lifelessly, "I understand" and walked out. He walked right past Kyuhyun who sat on one of the benches with his face in his palms. And walked right out of the hospital emptier than ever.

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Kyuhyun was in deep thought, he was thinking about what he could tell Donghae. As he saw Hyukjae exit the room looking like a zombie, he  knew what to do.

Pushing the door open he found Donghae lying on the floor unconcious.

"Donghae!"

Pressing the button to signal the nurse, they came running in seconds later.

They pulled him onto the bed, injecting the needle for his i.v.

"What happened here young man?"

Kyuhyun was struck on words. He didn't know what happened, how could he not hear the noise?

"I...I'm not sure."

"From what I could assess it looked as though he ripped his iv off of his arm. Do you know where he was heading to?"

"He had a guest earlier. His um...ex-boyfriend. I am not sure if that did anything."

The nurse sighed. "Hyukjae. Poor man."

"What are you talking about?"

"He was here yesterday with his girlfriend, she came to get a monogram."

"Girlfriend? Monogram? So she's pregnant?" Kyuhyun was in shock. He knew immediately. It was Sunri. She had been out to get him ever since he broke up with her, but why bring Hyukjae into it?

"So the child is his?"

The nurse frowned. "I'm not sure. I didn't do a DNA test. That was Jessica."

"I know who you're talking about, thank you. Please watch over my friend."

"Ah...yeah."

Kyuhyun left the room, he had to find Jessica. As far as he knew, Jessica was and probably still is, Sunri's best friend. Â

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Kyuhyun found Jessica in the hospital's cafeteria amongst her other nurses and a handsome doctor she was chatting up.

"JESSICA!" All eyes were instantly on him.

Jessica upon hearing her name, looked up to see Kyuhyun in smoke. He was beyond angry. The aura surrounding him was of pure hatred.

"There you are" He approached her table and she got up, making an attempt to run away. Her guilt was apparent.

He grabbed her by the arm.

"Oww you're hurting me. Please Kyu", she whispered.

The doctor she was chatting up, stood to separate them. "Let Jessica go young man."

"Please do not interfere, this is personal."

"No. I don't believe she knows you."

"Yes she does, do not believe her. I've known Jessica for many years, even I never expected this."

Kyuhyun tugged on her arm while the doctor grabbed his and pulled it off.

"Do not touch her."

"JESSICA!" Kyu yelled. "Admit that you know me. You may not know everything, don't believe Sunri. You're affecting my best friend, he's in a hospital room now, unconscious. Please."

Kyuhyun begged her. He had to do something, if he had the proof he could save their relationship.Â

Jessica looked at the doctor then at Kyuhyun. "I know this man, Doctor Kangin. His name is Kyuhyun, we were good friends once."

The Doctor looked at her unsure. Jessica noticing his apprehension assured him, "It's okay. Thank you though."

Kyuhyun walked forward as Jessica followed unsteadily behind.

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As they entered Donghae's room, Jessica gasped. She saw him earlier as Sunri instructed, but he wasn't in this condition. He had an iv hooked up along with an oxygen face mask.

"He tried to get out and fainted on the floor. When I saw him, he was pale as a ghost and barely breathing."

Jessica looked at him confused.

"I was telling you because you looked curious, and because I want you to know the full extent of what you've done to my best friend."

Kyuhyun walked over to Donghae's side, grabbing his hand and sitting down on the chair beside his bed.

"I'm not sure how much Sunri told you, but I'm sure it was exaggerated. I have my reasons and I know what I did, but they-" He sobbed. "They don't deserve this."

Jessica was speechless. Sunri had always told her about Kyuhyun, but in every story she painted him to be the bad guy. Here, in tears, he didn't seem that way anymore.

"Please, what did she ask you to do? I know Hyukjae. He doesn't drink. No matter how angry he could be at Donghae, he would never resort to alcohol to solve his problems."

Jessica fell to the ground. She was in disbelief. How could she do such a thing? What ever happened to the Jessica that would ask questions first then do whatever was needed?

Kyuhyun heard the loud thud but stood still. If she helped Sunri then he wouldn't help her.

"I...I...I did a bad thing Kyu." Choked sobs echoed in the room.

"Tell me. Help me fix what we've all destroyed."

She covered . She couldn't stop sobbing. Her conscious was tearing her apart. Looking at Donghae and then at Kyuhyun, she had to tell the truth. Even if she would lose her job, the guilt would never leave her.

"I changed the DNA test."

Kyuhyun's mouth dropped. That also meant that she knows the father. How else could you switch it.

"Who's the father?"

Her chest felt constricted. She was being shoved to the point of no return.

"What happens when I tell you and you know the person?"

Kyuhyun shot out of his seat, letting Hae's hand go.

"What do you mean?" he asked, eyes full of fury.

"You."

"What?"

"The father is you, but that's not all."

Realization slipped in. "I'm the father?"

"Sunri's not pregnant."

"She lied!?"

"I am."

 

Chapter 6
Crowd

Time stood still. Kyuhyun suddenly couldn't breathe anymore. In the end, the state of Eunhae's relationship was all because of him.

"Kyu?" She put her hand on his shoulder cautiously. It would be a lot to take in for anyone.

"I-are you sure?" He looked up. On the outside he looked calm, inside his walls were crumbling.

"It doesn't matter right now."

"Yes it does!" He yelled. "How could it not? I've ruined everything, we need to fix this."

"We can show them the test and my sonogram, but there's still Sunri. She's desperate enough to get what she wants by any means necessary."

Jessica looked at him concerned, one hand still on his shoulder, the other gently caressing her own stomach.

"You have to hide. Take a few days off-"

"I can't!" She panicked. "You must, I'll take you to a nice hotel-" "Why!?" She cut him off. Both hands protecting her stomach.

"You're in danger too! She's trying to get back at me and now I know why. So please, just stay somewhere that I know you'll be safe, somewhere she doesn't know. Okay? If not for me, then for your- our unborn child."

Kyuhyun pulled her into a hug. He ed up big time because of his unrequited love for Donghae, by bringing everyone else into his own mess. He needed to fix it and he would have to start with the problem herself; Sunri.

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Hyukjae did nothing with himself except pack up his belongings. Their home, it wasn't his to share with Donghae anymore. He didn't deserve his love, though at this very second, he needed it more than anything. Regret. The only word that clouded his mind.

He searched through the house, looking for something. Donghae's ring. Not the one he had placed in his hand when he left, but the one he was going to give Donghae when he became his wife, husband.

A diamond encrusted silver ring, with a special phrase etched on the inside. He remembered how hard it was to figure out what to engrave on the inside.

But in the end, stuck with 'Monkey <3 Fishy' when at that exact moment, Donghae left him a text message saying 'I'm home monkey~ <3 your fishy~"

Eventually he found it, recalling how he hid it in Donghae's monkey alarm clock when he almost caught Hyukjae with it.

Hyukjae sat on the edge of the bed, ring in hand, lost in his thoughts. Most of him fought to stay, to tie himself to the bed in hopes that Donghae would see and have his way, but the guilty part argued and threw that idea away.

"You're just gonna sit there?"

Hyukjae jumped up in fright, the ring falling onto the floor. "AH! OH NO!" But he was too slow as Donghae picked it up first, reading the engraving.

"Monkey <3 Fishy?" Donghae looked at him with such broken eyes filled with grief, pain and...love.

Sliding his hand behind his neck awkwardly, he replied: "It's yours."

"Mine?" Donghae inspected it and gasped. It was beautiful beyond words.

"I was going to change your ring into a necklace, and give you this one on our wedding day." Hyukjae looked away. As broken as he was, even glimpsing at Donghae brought his heart a magnitude of joy.

'Hyukjae I-"

"Don't please. I know I should leave, I was just packing-" He looked around to find his luggage left by the door.

"Stop." Donghae grabbed his hand pulling him to the bed again. "Listen will you?"

Hyukjae nodded.

"Stay with me." He sobbed. "I need you as much as you need me. I can't let you go. If-if you want we can raise the child together"

Hyukjae could only stare numbly as his brain processed each word.

"We can even adopt. Just-I can't. I've thought about it and we've been together for so long, too long to let something like this destroy us. Next time I'll listen to you, you'll listen to me and we'll work through this like we should have in the first place. I was just so insecure. I thought I wasn't enough, that you were growing bored of me and-"

Hyukjae kissed Donghae gently on the lips. It was a kiss of confirmation, a flame ignited.

"And I love you too. I was just as insecure as you. Everyday it was you and Kyuhyun and it got to me. I should've never went out. I'm so stupid, so stupid, stupid stupid-" He slapped his head repeatedly before Donghae grabbed his hands, kissing them both, then his forehead, then his lips.

"I love you Lee Hyukjae. Remember that."

"I love you too Lee Donghae. Always."

Donghae fell onto Hyuk's shoulders.

"Donghae? Donghae!?" He grabbed his shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"I..I left the hospital. I knew you..you were leaving. I had to...to find...find you."

He collapsed in Hyuk's arms. One hand underneath Donghae's knees and another wrapped around shoulders, Hyukjae hoisted him up.

"Don't die on me now Donghae. Don't you dare!"

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After Kyuhyun bid Jessica goodbye, he called Sunri telling her to meet him at the closest park; Yonghwan.

Waiting patiently, he was nervous as time passed by. He asked to meet by 6:30pm, it was already 7:20. He knew she was usually late, but an hour? Unless she was planning something.

Finally, it was 7:45 and she arrived...

"What took you so long?"

"Oh kyu kyu, I had other plans-"

He smirked. "Were you waiting on someone?"

She scowled. "No. I never wait, people wait on me." She sat down quickly. "Make it fast, I haven't got all day."

"Says the person who made me wait almost 2 hours." She stared straight ahead.

"Why are you angry at me?"

Her calm appearance broke. "Why do you say that?"

"I know about Jessica."

"You know nothing."

He shifted to face her. "Stop it, please."

She looked at her nails as if she could see them in the dark. "The great Kyuhyun begging? What a trade."

"I'm sorry" he bowed his head lowly.

"And he apologizes too. Donghae must've changed you quite a bit, in the place where I couldn't."

"I already have all the evidence needed and when I get back, Jessica is going to talk with them. Your plans are ruined either way."

She snapped. "What are my plans anyway? You think you know them?"

Kyuhyun stared blankly. From her reaction, things would be more difficult, but he had to keep going for the sake of do- for the sake of Eunhae.

"Yeah of course I do." He replied smugly. "You don't use your brains that often."

Sunri scoffed. "Let me guess." She tapped her chin as if thinking. "You think that I did all of this because I want Hyukjae?"

She laughed. "Haha of course you do. But let me tell you something, that boy has rainbows sprouting out his , though I'm positive he tops. As for Donghae, 'he's just a boy, but he's a bottom'" she exclaimed, singing the last part.

"I...what do you want then?"

"You. I did all of this for you. I took Hyukjae out of the equation so you could be happy and then later on, I would've gotten rid of that fish so you would come running back to me like you did the first time he denied you."

"Just because I love that person does that mean I have to have them?" Kyuhyun asked.

"W-what?"

"I would be selfish, I am selfish now because I took the chance that you gave me to destroy what they had. I'm just as bad as you."

Kyuhyun was lost in his thoughts, he now realized that they belonged together. Both wrapped up in their own selfishness, so he came up with the only plan to get them both away from Eunhae.

Clicking the button on his pen, he stopped the voice recorder to say, "Let's go to America...together."

And surely, because she wants him, she agreed wholeheartedly.

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At the hospital, Donghae was given an iv as Hyukjae clung to his side, not believing that they were together again. It seemed too surreal and so even when the doctors told him visiting hours were over, he begged and pleaded to stay. Seeing his reactions, they agreed to let him stay, but that he not disturb Donghae's sleep.

As Hyukjae admired Donghae's face he couldn't help but whisper to him.

"You're so beautiful. Do you know that's what I first thought? I always lied and said that I was too angry to think of anything excepting punching your face in, but that's what I thought. How could someone so beautiful do something like that? I had doubted my uality for years, but when I saw you I figured to hell with it, I have to have you. And then I was given the chance."

He held his hands, gently kissing them.

"I'm sorry. I promise I will pay for what I've done for the rest of my life if needed, but please don't wake up and tell me this is all a dream. That you never returned for me-" Teardrops echoed off of Donghae's pale hand. "-that I'm still sitting on the bed with my luggage by the door. I need you Hae. I always have, always will."

He reached into his pocket, pulling out the gorgeous crystal ring. "Will you marry me Lee Donghae?"

The heart monitor beeped loudly.

"Hae? Donghae!?" he panicked.

"yes" a small whisper sounded.

"Oh mah gawd, I'm dreaming. I'm sleeping aren't I?" he pinched his arm. "OW!"

"You idiot! I don't want to marry a bruised anchovy!"

"Look who's talking ya sickly fish!"

Donghae reached up enough to grab Hyukjae by the back of his neck and kiss him with all his love.

"Ask me again then."

Hyukjae cleared his throat. "Will you marry me Lee Donghae?"

"Hmm..."

Hyukjae elbowed him in the ribcage. "Ouch!" He pouted. Hyukjae kissed his pout.

"Yes, I will marry you Hyukkie."

 

Chapter 7
Beyond

Kyuhyun broke of all ties with Donghae in a mutual agreement between the two, right before he left for America with Sunri.

But karma would catch up as the plane they were in, crashed into the Atlantic Ocean, killing everyone on board instantly.

Word reached Donghae and he was depressed for a few weeks. Since no bodies were found, the funeral had been brief and most of all, empty. Not many people loved either  Hyukjae stood by his side, comforting his beloved fishy each day with soothing words and actions of love.

He made him breakfast everyday, his pancakes with smiley faces made from whip cream. He prepared him a bath with his favorite Strawberry Vanilla body wash. Prepared his clothes, which were mainly for Hyuk's eyes as it was always very tight pants and deep v-neck shirts.

But in those few weeks, Hyukjae was able to repay Donghae fully by staying by his side and taking care of him, the way Hae had taken care of Hyuk.

They had even allowed Jessica to stay in their guest bedroom, until the baby would be born since she had no living relatives.

Hyukjae feared Donghae wouldn't trust him and used to opportunity to re-build what they used to have.

Sadly for Jessica, she had to listen to Eunhae's moans keeping her up every single night. Kyuhyun had forewarned her what a loving couple they were, but until she heard it with her own 2 ears, didn't believe it that much.

So, Eunhae bought her an apartment a few blocks away. Hyukjae citing how loud Donghae could be as Hae playfully punched his chest before Hyuk pulled him in, both with grins on their faces.

As the months passed by, Jessica and Eunhae grew closer. They invited her to dinner and she invited them to dinner on several occassions.

And then came word of the adoption...

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"What do you mean you're giving your child up for adoption?"

They all sat in Jessica's house for dinner, she was 7 months pregnant at the time, when she brought it up after Donghae discussed if she would need help with the baby.

"Well-" She began. "-I was kinda hoping that you two would adopt him."

They looked at each other in shock. Hyukjae spoke first, "What?"

"There are 2 reasons. 1, I don't have the money to support him-"

"But we'd help!" Donghae shouted.

"- and 2, I'm dying."

Forks were dropped as silence filled the air.

"I've known for a long time. That's the only reason I- that I slept with Kyuhyun. I wanted a child of my own, I wanted to leave a part of me here. Call that selfish given that now his birth parents will both be gone, but it won't matter in the future. I've watched you two for a long time when Sunri first told me and I just knew you'd be perfect."

Hyukjae held Donghae's hand in his own. Worry strewn across their faces.

"Are you sure? I mean, we'd love to, but only if you're absolutely positive."

"I am. Can you do me a favor though?"

"Anything" Hae responded.

"Name him Sandeul."

They looked at each other before looking back at her. "Sandeul?"

"It's both fragile and strong at the same time" She giggled. "If that made any sense."

"Sandeul it is." Hyukjae whispered to himself.

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The months passed and on the very day Sandeul was born, Jessica died. The paperwork was all filled out with the names 'Lee Donghae' and 'Lee Hyukjae' as the "mother" and "father".

Eunhae moved to a larger house with a backyard for Sandeul to play in as he grew older. They made a mutual agreement to marry when he would turn 5, as he would be old enough for them to explain their "odd" relationship.

Hyukjae would've never thought in a million years after all that happened, that he would be able to hold Donghae in his arms. That he would be the one who's name Donghae screamed in bed every other night.

But as they lay on the canopy in their backyard, gazing out into the stars with Sandeul in Hae's arms (it rhymes :D) he knew everything was fine, for he finally found his joy.