Minho comes home from the station completely exhausted. There was no emergency during his shift but every ounce of energy he had went into trying to stay away from Taemin. He was all that the young man could think about. The thought that he had lost him to someone like Jinki was killing him, and it took everything he had to keep going on like everything was normal. 

Everything was not normal.

He comes into his apartment to the scent of grilled sausages in the air. At first he was startled, but it all came back to him when he saw the makeshift room that Kibum had made in his living room. His once barren space was now filled with bright colors and colorful clothes--something that he fully expected from his new roommate with the strong personality. 

"Hey, you're home..." Kibum says, emerging from the kitchen. "I thought we could have breakfast before I headed out for work today."

Minho puts his bag down at the dining table and marvels at how Kibum so expertly moves around in the kitchen. "I don't remember getting groceries..."

"Oh, I hope you didn't mind, but I did it. I get paid daily, remember? I just took the liberty to buy a few things," Kibum says, turning off the flame and picking up the plates of food as he made his way to where Minho had settled down. 

There was sausage and eggs and rice suddenly in front of the younger man and he didn't notice that he was hungry until he sat down to eat. Everything looked delicious. He looks over at Kibum to see a contented smile on his face. 

"You look happy today," Minho says, filling his plate with what he wanted.

"Far from it, actually. But cooking is always a good distraction." The older man watched as Minho filled his plate and wrung his hands under the table. Now that the cooking was done and Minho was back home, he could finally get some answers to the questions that kept him up at night. "How was work? Did Taemin come in at all?"

Minho looks down at his food and pushes the contents of his plate around with his spoon. "No... No, he didn't."

"Oh..." Kibum replies, putting a spoonful of rice into his mouth. It was like everything around him began to shatter... They were together. Jinki chose to be with Taemin, and not him. Never him. It never will be him.

He turns to the side to hide how he wiped the fat tear that came rolling down his cheek. He couldn't be this rude in front of the food, and in front of Minho who had been nothing but kind to him. But there was a strange look on Minho's face right now... Like there was something that was on his mind. 

"Spit it out," the older man says.

Minho takes a sharp breath, surprised that Kibum could read him that well. No one had ever done that, apart from his mother. "Well... Okay. Fine. Why are you really here, Kibum?"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you? Jinki is in love with your Taemin and I can't keep being his doormat for the rest of my life..." he responds, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "That's cruel of you to ask." He never liked it when someone forced him to be vulnerable. 

"Sorry, that's not it..." Minho says, putting his utensils down and giving his guest his undivided attention. "I meant, why did you choose to come here to my place? Why me?"

Kibum finally picks up a fork and starts to pick at his food. "To be honest, I don't know anyone else that's as upstanding as you. I figured, being the kind of guy that you are, you wouldn't turn me away even if you had every reason to... So why didn't you?"

"The truth?" Minho asks, as Kibum answers by nodding his head. "One, this place needs some care. You haven't been here long and already it feels more like a home. Two... I figured you would know a thing or two to help me me get back at Jinki..."

Minho lingers at the last part of his sentence, gauging how Kibum would react. If the older man was at all shocked, he did a pretty good job hiding it because the paramedic could not get anything from reading the expressions on his face. All of a sudden, Kibum smiles.

"Then we can agree," he says, smirking.

"On what?" 

"I'm using you as much as you're using me. You need someone to look after your place, and I need somewhere to stay. You don't like Jinki, and I don't like Taemin. What we have is a symbiotic relationship--natural, healthy, transactional. Finally, we're both not the lovestruck idiots in this scenario. It's quite refreshing, don't you think," Kibum says, as a matter-of-factly.

Minho stares at Kibum, finding it hard to believe what he's hearing. He had never met someone who was quite as forthcoming. He had a peculiar way about him. He was learning that Kibum was the type of guy care for you without letting you know just how much he actually cared. But just as well as the older man could read him, he could read Kibum clearly too. Underneath that feisty facade was a man who felt deeply about his life and the people in it.   

As time went by, Minho could see how much of a decent guy Kibum really is. Maybe he just needs a bit of help to get his act together. The young man vows to do everything he can to make sure that his new ally could get a leg up in life. 

*****

Taemin wakes up, immediately opening his eyes to look for Jinki. There was a figure who was sitting at the opposite end of his bed, but immediately he could sense that something was amiss. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, worry immediately flooding over him.

"I need to give Heechul an answer soon," he answers, under his breath. Jinki was slumped over and his head was drooped low, like he had just endured the biggest defeat of his life. And in some ways, it certainly felt that way. 

"Oh..." Taemin says, rubbing his eyes to adjust to the light. "I see... What did you say?"

"I don't know... I don't know," the older man says, burying his head in his hands. 

"What do you mean you don't know?" Taemin says, sitting up slowly. He tried his best to keep his voice as soothing and gentle as possible. "Are you considering it?"

Jinki heaves a deep sigh. He knew that talking to Taemin about this wasn't exactly going to clear his mind but at the same, there was no one else that he wanted to talk to either. "Maybe... I don't know... It's a pretty good offer..."

Panic comes over the younger man. "Hey... Jinki... We're talking about the rest of your life here. Are you sure you want to do this?" Taemin asks, drawing closer and cupping the older man's face in his hands. "I understand--"

"Understand?" Jinki says, tearing himself away from Taemin's touch. "How could you ever understand, Taemin? Life has always worked out for you. The things that have happened for you don't ever happen for guys like me. This is the best I'm ever going to do. This is my only shot," he says, his jaw tightly clenched. Maybe coming to Taemin was a mistake. The young man was nothing but caring and loving, but his mere presence amplified the very thing that Jinki was scared of about himself for all of his life: He wasn't enough.

The air in the room was starting to grow cold, and Taemin knew how important the next words coming out of his mouth were going to be. He takes a deep breath and steadies himself to be as honest with Jinki as he possibly can. He didn't want him to feel pressured. Taemin just wanted to show Jinki his heart. 

"It might seem that way, but my life hasn't been perfect..." the young man says, carefully. "There's a reason why I became paramedic... I watched my Mother die in front of my eyes because of a car wreck. People who could have helped didn't get there on time, and I had to live life without her. He tried his best but because of all his suffering through the years, my Dad became an alcoholic. He's been an empty shell of a man for as long as I can remember. I pretty much had to take care of him and fend for myself since then. I could have gone down the same road that you did. But I didn't. There's always a choice, Jinki. I just want you to know that you have a choice."

"Do I? This has been all I've known. What else am I supposed to do with my life other than this? You seem to have things all figured out, Taemin. So tell me what I'm supposed to do?" Jinki says, finally looking up.

The emptiness in Jinki's eyes rattled the young man. There was a sense of desperation that he hadn't seen in Jinki before. In this moment, the steely exterior that he had come to know was nowhere to be found. All he could see in his Hyung's eyes was a scared little boy who didn't know what to do. Taemin's eyes get misty at the realization of exactly it was that he was looking at--it was Jinki... Simply Jinki. 

"Stay with me," Taemin says, looking deep into his eyes. The young man takes the elder's hand in his and sits in front of him. "Doesn't this feel right? When we're together, the world seems to melt away. You feel it too, right?"

Taemin can't hold the tears back any longer. They drop gently onto Jinki's hand as Taemin draws it tenderly to his lips for a loving kiss. Jinki melts at Taemin's touch. The older man slowly leans in and abruptly stops himself. 

"It's not that easy," Jinki says, breathless but filled with the concerns that he cannot even bring himself to speak. 

"You won't have to do it alone... I'm here," the young man responds. 

In response, Jinki looks into Taemin's eyes and spoke his heart without uttering a single word. Both of them knew exactly what about to happen: A choice had to be made, and it was going to define what would become of them. The choice was his alone, and there wasn't much that Jinki could do about it. It was one or the other... It overwhelmed him. 

Jinki rises from the bed silently. He dusts off his shirt and looks back at the young man before he goes. In an instant, the Jinki that Taemin had been lovingly staring at had gone. He had shut himself off again and the look on his face was unreadable, just like the first day that Taemin had met him. The older man starts to walk away, slowly gaining the strength to leave with each step that he took. Taemin sat there watching, unable to move from the shock of it all. All he could manage to do was clear his throat until a small voice could come out.

"Jinki," the young man calls out, to no avail. The front door swings open and clicks shut, leaving Taemin alone with nothing but his own thoughts. 

The young man dives into his pillow and lets all his feelings pour out for the very first time since he met Jinki. The confusion, the fear, the guilt... Everything comes down in this moment. But out of all the emotions that threaten to suffocate him, there is one thing that he knows for sure to be true. It was staring him in the face... Love. Muffled cries fill the room as the realization hits him. He loved him. But he also might have just lost him forever.  

*****

Minho wordlessly walks into the station, out of uniform and without even a bag. He stood in the kitchen, like he was in a trance and just stared quite sadly at the floor. 

"Uhh... What's up, Minho?" Jonghyun says, his eyebrows crinkling together as he immediately senses that something wasn't right.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Hyung," the younger man says with a blank look on his face. 

"Huh?" Jonghyun asks. To say that Minho is acting strange would be an understatement. In the two years they had been together, Jonghyun had pegged the younger man's routine down, and the number one rule is that he sticks to that routine no matter what. The person standing in front of him was unkempt, looked like he hadn't had a good rest, and didn't follow any of the usual things that he would have done by now. Something was definitely wrong.

"I made arrangements. People from the other teams are going to cover for me this week," he says, still not registering any sort of emotion. 

"What are you talking about, you never miss work..." the older man says, his concern growing deeper with each passing second. "But hey, I guess we all need sick days, huh? You didn't need to come in for this, you know. You could have texted me. But I'm kind of relieved to know that you're sick... You had me worried there for a minute. You're just sick... Right?"

"Take care of this place, Hyung... Make sure Taemin will be alright," he says, as he walks out of the station as quickly as he came in. 

"What? Hey! Minho!" Jonghyun says. Even before he could make an effort to catch up with him, the door slams shut and protocol prevents him from leaving the station unmanned. He had no choice but to let Minho go. 

Just then, Changmin arrives with a bright smile on his face. 

"Hey, Jonghyun. Filling in today. Is everything okay?" he asks, concerned by the look on Jonghyun's face.

"I don't know... But I hope so."