It was all still a little weird for Joshua, a little jarring, to be laying with Hansol like this: facing each other, fingers loosely intertwined where their hands meet between them, foreheads lightly grazing each other, a lot more skin bared than he’d ever expected the two of them to expose to each other. The thought made Joshua swallow and zero back in on the man—man, no longer the child he once knew—in front of him.

 

Hansol was sleeping, a bit tired out after their...activities from before. The memory played across Joshua’s mind so much it brought heat not just to his face, but his entire body, once again; however, Joshua forced himself to keep those memories at bay for right now. Instead, he mapped Hansol’s features that grew to hold a gentle strength. He trailed his eyes over eyelashes that splayed across Hansol’s cheeks beautifully, a nose he wanted to press a quick kiss to, lips that were still a deep red, smooth skin that harbored soft marks here and there, soft hair that was mussed more than slightly at this point.

 

Hansol was a masterpiece.

 

Joshua swallowed once again, pushing down terms of endearment he wanted to desperately to spill from his lips. He settled for grasping onto Hansol’s hand more firmly, which required a bit of a shift for him, as he wanted to use his other hand, but Joshua was careful not to wake the other boy. Although, the shift made Hansol’s features twitch slightly, and he let out a small grumble before settling back into his comfortable sleep. Joshua smiled fondly as he watched on; Hansol’s settling had him switching angles in the slightest, but the slight difference took away some of the sharp edges from his face and Joshua felt like he was looking back at the same boy he grew up with.

 

That had Joshua sighing. From nostalgia, mostly, but also from the lingering weirdness of it all.

 

Joshua was the one that Hansol came out to at the ripe age of sixteen. It was awkward—Hansol was dancing between surety and denial, but he rushed out his confession nonetheless, taking nothing back. Joshua didn’t have a chance to speak for a long moment; he waited patiently through Hansol’s incoherent rambling, the younger’s confession shocked him, but before he could respond, Hansol then went on another ramble. The younger apologized for springing it on Joshua all of a sudden, then his rambling became incoherent once more, but Joshua clearly remembers Hansol mentioning that he trusted Joshua a lot even though they hadn’t know each other for long.

 

It was a fond memory, because that was the start of a lot more for the two of them. The two definitely shared something that the other members wouldn’t be able to understand, so they became closer, and Joshua became more of an older brother figure for Hansol over the years.

 

At least that’s what he thought.

 

Then all of a sudden, at the even riper age of twenty, Hansol was approaching Joshua and confessing to him. It took Joshua by surprise for many reasons, but the main reason is that it kind of forced Joshua to step outside of himself and really look at Hansol.

 

Hansol wasn’t the same flustered sixteen year old that was having a biual crises; he was so sure of his feelings this time, an easy smile slipped on his face as he spilled out all the ways Joshua made it so hard for him push his feelings away.

 

“But, to be honest, it’s not really like I’ve been trying to,” Is what Hansol told him with a shy laugh. His smile shone to Joshua in a different light at that moment, and though he told Hansol to give him a few days to stop thinking of him as his little bro, Joshua knew exactly how they were going to end up regardless.

 

And how they ended up—very and very in love—started with Hansol singing Joshua a little excerpt of a song he was working on. Hansol’s voice was pleasant, and the feeling that it conjured up inside of Joshua was even more so. Joshua couldn’t help but respond to Hansol’s eager “How was it?” with a kiss that maybe started out a bit too heated. One thing lead to several others—Joshua has never been more glad to have his own room—and now Joshua was here, staring at Hansol and wondering just where did the time go.

 

“You’re creeping me out, Josh…” Hansol’s deep, gravelly voice startled Joshua.

 

“I thought you were asleep.” Joshua replied after clearing his throat. “Sorry,” he chuckled. Hansol huffed out a laugh and pulled in closer to Joshua, wrapping his arms around the older and tucking Joshua under his chin despite their heights being the same. Joshua allowed Hansol to maneuver him, more than happy to cuddle up to the younger’s warm chest.

 

“I think I can get to sleep now,” Hansol playfully exaggerated. “without all your staring,”

 

“Whatever…” Joshua intended for his remark to be sassy, but he got a bit lost in Hansol’s smell. A bit of his cologne still lingered even after all they did; the smell was hypnotizing, and Joshua’s eyes fluttered closed as he got lost in Hansol again in his dreams.