I always run away. Whenever my mum gives me a signal I would quickly run away.

 

Must be cliché but my step-dad is an abusive alcoholic. When he is sober, he would be a kind husband and an attentive dad. However, when he is drunk, he would beat us up senselessly. He has been a father figure in my life since I was born. I was beating up since I can remember. I am now 7.

 

My mum would not leave, she always hugs me and explain he did all this because he is not himself. She comforts me after every beating, but to me she is just convincing herself. While she comforts me, she would give me money as bribe.

 

“Don’t tell anyone about this okay Jinnie-ah? Or you will be taken away from us. You don’t want to leave mummy’s side, do you?” Of course, I don’t want to and she knows it.

 

My mum is a beautiful woman with a good paying job. She has many people going after her, but I wonder why she would settle for my step-dad.

 

I always play around outside with my classmates as I never want to be home alone with my step-dad. But I am still a good student, I remember everything that was mention in class as soon as I heard it. Even though I was only in the second grade I already stood out among everyone.

 

I look just like my mum. The neighbour aunties would call me a beautiful child instead of handsome so I don’t like them.

 

 

 

 

Today is Saturday, mum suddenly has to go to work and I was left alone with my step-dad.

 

I received a few kicks here and there. Blood was streaming down my forehead when he threw me against the table. It hurts of course, but I am so numb to this physical pain.

 

I quickly roll away as I see him approaching. I ran to the door and swing it opens. I do what I do best, run.

 

I run and run and run. Faster than normal and further than normal. Until I can’t run anymore and just dropped to the floor. I leaned against the wall and look at the unfamiliar surroundings.

 

I must have run to the next neighbourhood. I can always ask the policeman for direction home. I’m not scared of getting lost. I’m scared of going back more.

 

It is so peaceful here. There was no car or a single passer-by. The only sound that can be heard is my heavy breathing. Suddenly. I heard whimpering and thudding sound.

 

I look around to identify the source. I approach the small noise with precaution. Is it an animal? Sounds like it’s hurt, it’s behind this wall. I keep thinking to myself, debating whether I should go see.

 

I set the big empty trash can in front of one of the house at the wall. I used it as a leverage. My short frame barely made it passes the wall. This is backyard of what seems like a mansion. I can see the house from a far behind all the trees. It was a fancy and well-kept with a small pond and fishes. I was admiring the view until the noise gets my attention again.

 

It was coming out of a storage room it seems like. It was away from the main house, it doesn’t look like something that can exist in this beautiful garden.

 

I jump inside discreetly. My small body landed on the soft grass and I sighed in relieve, if this was concrete it would cost me a few more injuries for sure.

 

I approach the storage room and I see that it was lock from the outside.

 

“Hello?” I said quietly. The whimpering stop. I think it’s a person: “Are you okay? Do you need help?”

 

It was silent. My curiosity got the better of me so tiptoe up and slide open the lock. The door opens with a small creak. It was dark inside, I can barely see anything. I push open the door wider and step inside.

 

There are boxes and gardening tools all around the room. It is messy and mouldy. This room must be locked for a long time.

 

I was turning away but suddenly the whimpering noise caught me by surprised. I quickly turn around and asked in a shaky voice: “Is someone here?”

 

A small figure crawl out from the corner of the room, behind all the boxes.

 

I am very small for someone my age, but this figure is even smaller than me: “Are you okay?”

 

I approach the figure confidently as I now see he is much smaller than me. I can easily fight him off if he’s bad, I thought.

 

I sit down beside him and noticed he’s hurt. He has cuts and bruises all over his small body.

 

“Can you stand?” I gently hold him up and his body is trembling in my arms.

 

I guided him outside of the mouldy room and sit him down by a tree. I make sure we are not visible to the house just in case.

 

“Thank you.” A weak shaky voice can be heard and I quickly turn to him.

 

“Are you okay? Who did this to you?” I asked warily. I can see myself in him.

 

“Mum… but please don’t tell anyone.” He begs with tears start rolling down his small pale face.

 

“I won’t so stop crying.” I paused: “My name is Kim Jinwoo. What’s your name?”

 

“Song Minho.”

 

 

 

 

Kids can become friends just like that. Minho was a clingy friend. He can’t get out of the house so I would sneak into that room to see him whenever I can. He is always there by that storage room.

 

“Do you live in this room?” I asked innocently.

 

“No, I stay here whenever my mum is at home. I would go back in when she is asleep.” He said as he helps me down from the wall.

 

We play all sort of game here. I would bring toys I got from mum, foods and candies. We usually would play for hours and even then, he still doesn’t want to let me go. I always have to promise I will be back as soon as I can, he reluctantly says goodbye with a lingering look.

 

I spent the entire summer with Minho. Until the last day of summer, I come to see him with bad news.

 

“I can’t come as much anymore, I can only come on the weekends.” I told him as we were in a middle of a pretend game.

 

He drops the airplane I brought him and runs toward me. He hugs me tightly shaking his head: “NOO! Please no!”

 

“Stop crying! I’m going to go to year 2 now. I will come on the weekends.” I can still hear his sobbing.

 

“What if you don’t come back?” He cries even harder at this point.

 

“You can keep all my toys. I will come back for my toys, right?” I softly convinced him while his head, calming him down.

 

 

 

 

I have a lot of friends. I was popular among the kids at school. I was voted class president again.

 

I have always been good at studying, I love studying and the teachers at school always called me a little genius. After the first week of school, the teacher would tell my mum my level is much higher than the other year 2, she recommends I should be moved to year 4 since I already passed the test.

 

I proudly look at my mum as she shed a tear. We would skip out of the school happily.

 

“I’m so proud of you my baby.” She said with smiling brightly, I haven’t seen her that happy in so long: “Let’s go get everything you want tomorrow since it is Saturday.”

 

I would spend the whole Saturday with my mum, just us two. It’s rarely like this so I was happy. We would go shopping for new books and stationaries. She took me to see movie and eat ice cream and go to the park.

 

By the time we got home it was dark and I went to sleep with a smile never leave my face. I think I’m supposed to do something today though.

 

 

 

 

The next morning, after breakfast, I ran out of the house before my step-dad starts drinking again. I was in such a good mood I don’t want it to be ruin by him.

 

As I turn the corner to Minho’s house, I can see his little head poking out behind the wall. As soon as he sees me, he burst out in tear.

 

“Hi Minho-ah.” I cheerfully greet him: “Look what I got you.”

 

I said as I jump inside the wall. Minho ignores my greeting and hugs me so tightly: “Where were you Jinnie-hyung?”

 

His cry makes me feel so guilty. So this is what I forgot yesterday.

 

“I’m so sorry Minho-ah. I will come to play with you tomorrow to make up for yesterday okay?” I sweetly persuaded the younger kid: “Look what I got you.”

 

I pull out a small box of crayon and a colour book from the plastic bag I brought with me. He lets go of me a little bit to look at the things in my hands.

 

“Let’s sit down I will show you.” I lead him to sit down under the shade of our favourite ash tree.

 

We always spend our time together like this. I try to make it as normal as possible for him. We pretend like there aren’t any wall around us. We pretend like we have to be quiet at time to avoid his mum finding out. We pretend like there weren’t any bruises on our body.

 

“Have you ever tried to stand up to her?” I said quietly to Minho while we were colouring.

 

“I’m scared… If I talk back she will hit harder.” He paused for a while, I thought that’s the end of the conversation: “Have you tried stand up to whoever that is hurting you hyung?”

 

“No…” I was surprised by his question but he is right. I have no right to encourage him when I can’t even stand up for myself too.

 

“I will grow up fast hyung. Then I will protect you I promised. I want to stay with hyung forever.” He lets go of the crayon and hold onto my hand tightly.

 

I smiled at his innocent. I should be the one who’s protecting you Minho-ah. I want to say that but I’m not sure I can.