Sehun wiped a few more dishes, making sure they were completely dry before he stored them in their place.  He seemed satisfied with what he had done for today.  He was working in a coffee shop about two blocks from the university he and Baekhyun went to, and about half an hour away from the apartment he lived in with Baekhyun.  He had been helping there for more than six months by now, had made good friends with the people working there, who clearly did not mind working with someone as young as him. 

           He was not the barista, of course, since to be one, he had to have a good training.  But he was sure with extra effort, he might learn the skill soon enough from his kindhearted senior colleague, Kim Suho.  Ever since he joined the cafe as a junior waiter, Suho had taught him everything he needed to learn patiently, and many times he found it relaxing to share about anything with the man, not only work related stuffs, Sehun often talked about personal matters, too.  Suho displayed an amiable smile at all time, his eyes were always warm, and he had soothing voice that Sehun loved to listen.  Suho had always lent him an ear any time he needed someone to talk to — besides Baekhyun.  He knew Baekhyun was always more than willing to listen to him as well, still there were things Sehun thought it would be best not to share with this boyfriend of his.

           Tonight, he could certainly use some moments with Suho....  craving for an advice that he knew he was desperate to get.  Yet until this moment, he was still unsure how to talk about it or where to begin with Suho....  he was unsure to re-experience the embarrassment all over again.  He remembered Chanyeol’s words fully, and he could not get them out of his head.  He kept telling himself that Chanyeol’s words simply because of the man misunderstanding him, but he could not deny the fact that those words might represent what other people think of him being with Baekhyun.

           That he merely used Baekhyun’s kindness for his own benefit, or worse....  that Baekhyun did make a mistake, choosing him.  And just having this kind of thought swirling in his head, was enough to bring tears back to his eyes.  Because it was horrible...  too horrible, and he could never forgive himself for doing such hideous thing to the one he loved so much.

           It was eight thirty when Sehun finally finished his job.  The cafe was completely closed, because there was no more customers anyway.  Outside was raining heavily — which was actually quite odd in summer season like now.  He called for Suho.

“Hyung, may I have some time with you?”

           “Sure. I’m done with work also.”  Suho smiled.  He always had time for Sehun.  Sehun was like a brother to him.  He knew Sehun’s family background, his school and even his boyfriend.  Of course...  who wouldn’t, after so many hours spent listening to Sehun babbling about his boyfriend every second if he had a chance, Suho wondered if there was really a thing he missed about Baekhyun.  “What is it about?”

           “I-“  Sehun was reluctant.  He did not know where to start. 

“Is it about Baekhyun?”

Oh.  Sehun blushed.  Was he so readable?

           “The only thing you talk about is always about him, so my guess is right after all.”  Sehun could hear the smile in Suho’s voice, and it made him blush even more.  “So care to share?”

           “I-“  Sehun took a deep breath-  “I’m thinking to break up with him.”

           Suho’s eyes were wide in surprise.  That's...  shocking.  “What happened?  Did the two of you have a fight?”

           No.  Sehun shook his head.  They had never had a fight, or problem.  What they felt for each other transcended words and sounds. 

           Suho stared at Sehun intensely now, impatiently waiting for an answer, but it seemed he would not getting any from Sehun.  The boy looked away in distant, in an enormous grief too painful to describe.  Breaking up?  Why the news of aliens invading the world was more believable than a boy named Sehun deciding to break up from his soulmate? 

           “Nothing happened, Hyung.  It’s just—  I don’t—  I don’t think our relationship is going to work out anyway.”

“And how do you know that?”

           Sehun sighed.  “I just find it impossible for us, Hyung.  You know,” he looked at Suho sadly, “we came from two different worlds.”

           For a brief moment, Sehun looked ten years older than he supposed to be.  And Suho was looking at him as though he was crazy.  But it was more than that, and Suho knew it.  “I have no idea why suddenly you could have such a thought, but whatever reason it is, please think of how Baekhyun would feel if he knows you’re giving up on him.”

           Giving up.  That phrase alone shattered Sehun’s heart terribly.  No.  He did not mean that.  He just...  wanted the best for Baekhyun, that perhaps Chanyeol was right....  Baekhyun would be so much better off without him.

Suho sighed.  “Anyway, before we go further, are you hungry?”

           Sehun shook his head.  “I’m fine, Hyung, Baekhyun packed me some sandwiches.” 

           “How thoughtful.”  Suho smiled.  “He really cared about you.”

           “I know.”  Sehun murmured.  “I just feel—  maybe I don’t deserve it.”

           So, that’s why.  The very reason why suddenly Sehun had a thought of breaking up with Baekhyun.  “You know it’s not true, Sehun-ah.”  Suho said, his voice hoarse.  “You love him and he loves you, too.  You both deserve each other.” 

           “But he’s done more than I deserve, and I don’t think it’s fair for him-“

           “Let him decide what’s fair and unfair for himself.  Meanwhile, for you, I suggest you STOP thinking all this nonsense and start thinking what you can do to give Baekhyun the best.”

Sehun muted.

           “If you realize Baekhyun has done so much for you to make you happy, then shouldn’t you try to do the same thing for him?”  Suho said, his voice was stern.  “You honestly think that by breaking up with him, crushing his heart, will make his life happier?  That's what's fair for Baekhyun?  If you do believe so, your brain does work in a very odd way, and if that’s so, yes, I’d agree with you, Baekhyun would be better off WITHOUT you.”

Sehun was completely at a loss of words now.

           “Yet, I believe you still keep your sanity safely somewhere deep inside your complicated mind, Sehun-ah.  So, you won’t be doing anything that could make Baekhyun sad, or will you?”

            No.  Of course, not.  Sehun blinked his eyes repeatedly now, trying hard to chase away the forming tears.

             “You’re a good kid, Sehun-ah,” Suho said, and meant every word of it, “I know you’re thinking you’re doing this for Baekhyun, but trust me, you’re not.”

             “But I’m scared that’s not what people think of me—“

             “But it is you that Baekhyun loves.”  Suho felt sorry for him.  “Baekhyun is in love with you, not with ‘people’, so why would he care about them?  Or is his love not enough for you?”

             No.  No.  It wasn’t like that.  It was enough.  It was more than enough, and he would want nothing else.

             “I know what you’re thinking.”  Suho knew about the problem with Sehun’s family, about his father's death, and everything that followed.  “You’re a strong kid, Sehun-ah, you’ve been through a lot, and you’ve proved that you could stay the way you are and move on with your life.  I know you work to help your mother, even though you have no obligation to do that.  You could just stay aside and focus on your education, but you didn’t.  You’re stronger than you think you are, and if I myself can see that, I’m sure Baekhyun could also.  Because he loves you more than I do, and though I haven’t got a chance to meet him myself, I’m certain he’s a bright person and can see your potential easily.  So stop thinking you don't deserve his love for you, because I know you do, and I know you earn it.”

            Sehun had turned muted again, but Suho knew the boy was thinking of his words deeply at the moment. 

            “I finish my speech now,” Suho grinned.  “It’s getting late, so I suggest we end our conversation and you’d better be going home.  Baekhyun-ssi would be worried about you.”

            It was almost ten o’clock now, and it was still raining outside, though it was not as heavy as before.

“Do you bring any raincoat or waterproof jacket?”  Suho asked him.

           Sehun nodded.  “My jacket is waterproof.  I’ll be just fine, Hyung.”

           “Ride your motorbike slowly then.  Watch out for the puddles, the road can be very slippery.”

           “I understand, Hyung.”  Sehun started to move away, picking up his helmet from his locker, while Suho took out his keys.  He was in charge to lock all doors every nights when they closed the cafe.  He lived nearby, that was why the owner of the cafe entrusted him with the opening and closing — that, plus his trustworthy characteristic.

“Hyung,” Sehun called him again.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.  I really appreciate it.”  Sehun bowed his head at him.

           “Anytime, Sehun-ah.”  Suho said softly.  “Have a good night.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

           Sehun smiled.  They bid farewell, and Sehun walked slowly out of the cafe into the silent night.

***

           Baekhyun was waiting for Sehun in the kitchen, at the dining table where dinner had spread wide across the small table.  He had been saving some food for Sehun, knowing Sehun would come home late from his part-time job.  He knew Sehun had to go to work in order to help his family financial, though he was worried Sehun would be stressful and exhausted, but he knew very well also that he could not stop Sehun from going to work.  Sehun's family needed him.  Still...  

            He glanced at the clock on the wall, it was ten o’clock already.  Where's Sehun?

            The food on the table was surely getting cold.  Baekhyun reached for his cellphone, maybe he would try to contact Sehun.  Again.  He had sent some texts, but Sehun apparently failed to reply him either.  Was he riding his bike?  Or his cellphone practically running out of battery?  Either way, it made him worry more…  and a bit upset also, to be honest.  Baekhyun sighed.  Truth to be told, Sehun often could act very selfish, and this was one of many moments he should be complaining to that boy.  Sehun could at least send him a text, telling him that he was going to go home late...  or anything....  Geez!  He pressed the speed dial, and waited a few seconds only to hear-

//The number you’re dialling is temporary out of reach.  Please-//

           He pressed end.  There was nothing more he could do for sure.  Baekhyun placed his cellphone on the dining table, and seated himself.  What to do now?  Staring at the food in front of him….  It was so quiet here without Sehun.  When the boy was around, time seemed to fly so quickly.  They had laughters, he loved watching videos with Sehun, watching the boy trying to comment on every single show or impersonating the actors, talking to him for hours before both of them felt sleepy and too lazy to move into the bedroom, piling on the couch and in the end, sleeping there until the next morning came.

           Now that Sehun was not here yet, it was...  So quiet.

           And it made him very sleepy.  Perhaps, he should just close his eyes for a few minutes.  He was sure Sehun would be back in no time anyway, entering that door with a wide grin on his face.  He could picture Sehun trying to act cutely so he could get away from his scoldings.  Well…  Baekhyun would make sure Sehun would not get away that easily this time.  Not after he made him worried and made all these delicious dishes go wasted.

***

The door clicked and awakened him.  

           Baekhyun woke up with a jolt, feeling disoriented for a brief moment, before he realized that he had been falling asleep at the dining table. What time was it now anyway?  Did he sleep for hours already?  He glanced immediately at the clock, and notice it was almost midnight. And his mind brough him back to--

Sehun!  

Where's that boy? 

           He turned his head toward the doorway, and to his surprise, he saw Sehun standing quietly in front of the door, under the dimmed light.  What the hell?  He was angry for real now.  Of course, he was!  He had been waiting for this boy until he was drifting off, and there he was, standing in silence, doing nothing, not even coming in to greet him, and how on earth could he still expect an apology would come sincerely from that boy's mouth??  How long had he been standing there anyway??  Did Sehun really believe he could get away by giving him a pair of puppy eyes??  Oh no.  Not now.  Not this time.  Baekhyun wanted more than only a pair of cute eyes.

           “What time do you think this is, Sehun-ah?”  Baekhyun snapped at him, raising from his chair.

           He could see Sehun staring back at him with an expression of… surprise?  Oh, of course he would be surprise.  A furious Baekhyun was indeed a very rare phenomenon in life. 

            “You better explain to me why that you fail to contact me, informing me about your lateness, and why you also fail to give my messages a reply.”  Baekhyun moved toward the boy in quick pace now, making Sehun widen his eyes more.  He was very, very surprised to see Baekhyun coming at him fast.

            “And you better choose your words wisely.  Because I can always tell if you’re lying to me, and if-“  Baekhyun paused in a sudden.  There was something in Sehun that looked completely different.  Sehun looked… so pale.  //Oh my god!//  Suddenly he remembered--  It was raining hard just now.  Did Sehun go through that heavy rain to come home?  He reached out to hold the boy’s hand and noticed the iciness.  So, it was true then.  “Sehun-ah!  Your hand is so cold.  Are you wet all over?”  It was hard to tell, because Sehun was wearing all black.

              For a moment, Sehun was speechless.  Motionless, even.  He could only stare at Baekhyun…. in disbelief?  “Hyung, you can see me?”

              Baekhyun frowned.  Of course he could see him well.  What was Sehun talking about?  “You think I’ve gone blind??  Of course I can see you.  If you meant to sneak in without me noticing you, then I’m afraid, you’re not that fortunate, young man!”  He pouted.

Sehun turned silent.

Baekhyun was about to open his mouth again, when-

“I’m glad I could still see you, Hyung.”

Huh?  Baekhyun frowned once more.

           “I just want to tell you that I want you to be happy.  And-  And please believe me that I love you, I really do.  Wherever I go, whatever I do, I will always carry your love in my heart.  It is your love that gives me hope and makes my hard life bearable. Your love becomes my faith, and reminds me that I am not alone.”

“Wh-  What are talking about, Sehun-ah?”  Why so sudden-

           “Hyung,” Sehun smiled at him — a smile so blissful, yet so wistful, “I just want you to know that I’m so glad to have you in my life.”

“Sehun-ah—“

            “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” tears began falling freely from Sehun’s beautiful eyes, “I wish we have more time.”

            “Stop this, Sehun-ah,” Baekhyun felt he wanted to cry also, for a reason he did not understand.  What happened anyway?  “Stop this.  I’m not—  I’m not mad at you—“

“I’m sorry, Hyung—“  Sehun sobbed harder.

“Enough, Sehun-ah—  Don’t cry anymore—“

A buzz.

His cellphone buzzed.

Baekhyun was surprised.  What was that?

Another buzz.

Who’s calling??  By the time like this?? 

           Baekhyun felt his head spinning, that he stirred, instinctively reaching for Sehun only to feel his… absence?  Wait.  What??  He was right here.  Standing before him, and then—

            A soft thud brought him back to his consciousness, and Baekhyun opened his eyes anxiously, looking around the empty kitchen. What had just happened?  He was still sitting on his chair at the dining table, the food was still on the table, untouched —

And Sehun!  

           Baekhyun swiftly glanced at the doorway…  only to find the door was still shut, and there was no sign anyone entered it before.  That was… confusing.  Did he fall asleep for real on the table?  Was it all just a dream?  Was Sehun coming home only a dream?

            Another buzz, but this time it was louder than before…  because it was coming from…  Baekhyun gazed down.  His cellphone was on the floor.  He must have dropped it from the table just now when it buzzed for the first time.  Someone was calling him.  Was it Sehun?  But as he picked his cellphone up, he did not recognize the caller ID at all.  Who was it anyway?

            He pressed answer, and heard someone spoke even before he said his greeting.

“Is this Bun Baekhyun-ssi’s number?”

           “Yes.”  He did not understand why, but he felt his heart pounding faster.

“Do you know anyone by the name of Oh Sehun?”

           “I do.”  Baekhyun’s mouth suddenly went dry.  “He’s—  he’s my best friend.  What’s—“

“I think you should come here at once, Sir.”

What?  Why?

            “Apparently your number was the last number Sehun-ssi has dialled, that’s why we managed to contact you, Sir.”

“I—  I don’t under—“

“Your friend, Sehun-ssi has been killed.”

Baekhyun felt faint.

“It was an accident.”

As if it was on cue, tears silently streamed down his face.

//I just want to tell you that I want you to be happy.  Wherever I go, whatever I do, I will always carry your love in my heart.// 

//And please believe me that I love you, I really do.// 

//It is your love that gives me hope and makes my hard life bearable. Your love becomes my faith, and reminds me that I am not alone.//

//I wish we have more time.//

What happened after that was a total black.

For Baekhyun.

***

TO BE CONTINUED~