Jongin leans back onto the backrest of the chair, hands clamping up with sweat as his grip on his folder tightens even more. There’s only about six candidates’ turns more then it’s his. It was only by his horrible luck that he lost in rock-paper-scissors to Sehun, resulting in him being interviewed first between them two. Jongin honestly thought the interview was going to take place in a small room with only one candidate at a time. No. When Renjun started fussing over both Jongin and Sehun, he blubbed on and on about how everyone’s going to watch them.

Now, with all the candidates from every department pinning their eyes on the candidate at the front, Jongin can see how it could seem like everyone’s watching. The professors are seated in a row before the stage, and the candidates who aren’t being surveyed are seated in a row behind where the speaking candidate stands. You look to the front and there’s people watching you, you look to the back and there’s people. It’s pressurising, and Jongin may just barf at the thought.

Three down, three to go. They’re all from Law, and after them is Jongin. One of them does quite a good job, answered all the questions that mattered and seemed confident enough. But that’s bad for Jongin.

“Alright, will Kim Jongin step up, please?” The Head of the professors speaks into the microphone once it’s Jongin’s turn.

Jongin stands up, slowly and gracefully, and he saunters to the front at a relaxed pace. He wants to show them his confidence, he wants to show them a good front to impress them. Most of the other candidates were obviously nervous, habitually picking on their nails or the microphone stand so Jongin wants to be one of those confident ones that professors would vote for.

“Please introduce yourself,” Renjun speaks in a tone he’s rarely used, the one full of authority. There’s a fleeting thought running past Jongin’s mind then; even if he’s younger than his students, his power is still above them.

“My name is Kim Jongin from the Linguistics department.” Jongin thanks the Heavens his voice didn’t come out as too soft or too loud.

“Alright, Kim Jongin. We would like to know a few things about you,” Renjun says.

“Of course, Professor.” Jongin smiles.

“Let’s start with the basics. Like I’ve asked all the other candidates; what motivates you to go on every day?” Renjun clears his throat, then he places the microphone down.

All eyes are on Jongin now. It’s his turn to speak. Jongin hums for a short second and breathes in once before he speaks in a calm and collected manner. He tries his best to be natural, because it’s obvious when someone’s forcing themselves to keep their cool. Jongin ponders for a split second, but he already has half of his answer laid out. He’s gone through a similar question with Chanyeol as a preparation, and he’s pretty confident that he’d answer it just fine.

“I wake myself up every day because… because it’s the only way for me to achieve my dreams. My motivation is the future.” Jongin pauses. “I honestly haven’t thought about what motivates me that much because I feel like if I recognise the one reason that makes me stay, I’d unconsciously lose it. But because of this Representative matter, I’ve thought hard about it. My main motivation is knowing that once I get through these difficult days, I’d eventually reach a day where I’d be happy with a dream come true.”

“Very nice,” Renjun comments offhandedly. Jongin smiles a little wider in pride, no teeth. “Which leads me to asking; what is your dream?”

“At first, I’ve always wanted to take Linguistics. But I considered Psychology too. Ever since I was little, I’ve always wondered why people do things, then I wondered why people say things. And it slowly led me to questioning about the vast world. There are a lot of countries, a lot of languages, but people can somehow understand each other anyway. How?” Jongin makes eye contact with all of the professors, looking at all of them one by one. “And at first, I realised my dream was to learn about languages, learn the reason behind it, how it’s made, so on and so forth. But I remembered I didn’t mind taking Psychology too, so it made me realise that all along, I wanted to understand people, understand nature, not just the tongue they speak in. So that’s my dream.”

It goes on like that. Back and forth, the questions and answers go. Most of the main questions are asked by Renjun, which is honestly fine by Jongin, but a lot of the side questions thrown in randomly were by the other professors Jongin’s never even met. It unsettles him, and he tripped up on his words a couple of times but most of the sessions goes by pretty smoothly. When Jongin’s turn is up, he sits down on his chair, gives a short grin to some of the other candidates that tells him he did well and tunes out the rest of the time. It’s not until he notices all the other candidates rising to a stand to bow that he follows suit immediately.

“Do check the results by Friday. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.” Renjun bows, and the other professors gives half-assed bows too. The candidates mimics them and they’re finally free to go.

Jongin ignores his group members’ stares and exits the school building as fast as he can. He goes round the back, where there’s less people sitting around and he lights a stick. It makes him feel better, gets him to stop thinking so much about whether or not he did well. It’s just so upsetting to know that he might not be voted after he’s worked so hard for it. All his effort gone just like that.

Jongin blows out the smoke, squints as the smoke gets in his eyes. He leans back in his seat and looks up at the blindingly bright sky. His eyes hurt, it’s a pinching kind of pain but it’s the type that Jongin usually bears through without complaining.

“Hey.” Jongin turns to his left and a hesitant smile makes its way up his lips. “You did really well.”

“Thanks,” Jongin mumbles. “I-I don’t know, though, if it’s good enough for them.”

“Nonsense. You answered every question they have.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s good enough for them.” Jongin sighs. He takes a puff and he blows it slowly, watching the line of smoke dispersing into an irregular shape as it fades out. “I don’t know, Jaehyun.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Jaehyun says. Through the small frown etched onto his forehead, Jongin can tell that Jaehyun’s not really sure himself.

“I’m just sorry to all of my friends.” Jongin puts out his cigarette in his portable ashtray, and he shuts it close before tossing it back into his bag. “If I don’t get voted, I only wasted my friends’ time. All our hard work would go to waste.”

Maybe Jongin’s doubting himself more than Jaehyun expected because he obviously doesn’t know what to say next. He’s only casting his eyes at his expensive shoes, face fallen and mood down.

Jongin sighs, then he stretches his long legs out in front of him, hearing his joints pop in protest. “What are you doing here, Jaehyun?”

“I wanted to apologise.” That’s right. The past few days, Jongin’s been running around preparing for Voting Day that he honestly didn’t care whether or not he was on good terms with Jaehyun. He’s been too swamped with Voting Day and homework, he doesn’t have time for trivial matters. “I know I was rude, and I took it too far.”

“Care to elaborate?” Jongin knows what Jaehyun’s talking about, really, but he doesn’t like just a simple apology. He wants to know if Jaehyun actually knows what he did wrong.

“I called you childish.” Jaehyun grimaces. “And I insulted your friends.”

“Yeah, you did both.” Jongin nods his head, eyebrows twitching up as he pulls his legs back in. “You’re a jerk.”

“I…” Jaehyun shakes his head. “I’m not a jerk.”

Jongin suddenly laughs, and it startles Jaehyun because he jolts in his seat. Jongin sends Jaehyun a cheeky smile and shakes his head goodnaturedly. “The fact that you won’t accept that whether or not it’s true means you’re not actually sorry. But it’s okay. I forgive you anyway for trying.”

“But I’m really sorry,” Jaehyun’s quick to deny, and Jongin figures maybe he’s just trying to please him.

“Of course you are.” Jongin chuckles.

“Jongi—”

“Kim Jongin!” Jongin snaps his head away from looking at Jaehyun and to his left. “Jongin!”

“Baekhyun?” Jongin stands, catching Baekhyun’s attention from looking for him. “What’s wrong?”

“Let’s go get lunch together!” Baekhyun skips to him and links their arms together, tugging so hard on Jongin that he can’t help but to follow along. Jongin doesn’t know why he finds Baekhyun’s strength so surprising. Baekhyun’s not that lacking in height and width, and he looks strong. Maybe it’s just the way he brings himself. The cheekiness gives people a different impression than who he actually is. “Kim Jongin!”

“Alright, Byun Baekhyun, alright.” Jongin starts laughing, tugging back on Baekhyun so the latter would stop. “Where to?”

“This one restaurant I went to before school started, with Chanyeol, and it has the nicest food there! You won’t believe it! It’s quite far so that’s why I haven’t gone there in such a long time but now all our classes after noon are cancelled and you have to come with me!” Baekhyun points to the general direction of where they’re supposed to be headed and resumes pulling Jongin along.

Because of Baekhyun’s incessant noise and pestering, Jongin forgets about Jaehyun, and the fact that Jaehyun actually came to talk to him slips his mind. But before he could remember, Baekhyun’s already captured all of his attention.

         Baekhyun sits next to him on the bus, earpiece shoved into his ear canal, eyes closed as he leans back and sleeps. It’s a long ride, and even without Baekhyun warning him beforehand he could at least figure that out. When Baekhyun got on the bus, he claimed the window seat first and practically ran to it, grinning up at Jongin who glared at him. Well, Jongin’s not really that crazy over the window seat, but on rare days he’d prefer it. Like when it’s raining and the window’s freezing cold even with the heater in the bus blasting. Today’s quite chilly, but seeing how Baekhyun wants the seat, Jongin gives it up.

Baekhyun snores two minutes into his sleep. With that, Jongin realises just how fast Baekhyun’s able to fall asleep, and he envies him. Jongin can’t sleep. Well, he can, but it feels like he has to go through an exhaustingly painful feat before he can even get 2 hours of rest. Weirdly, the nightmares don’t come to him as often as it did, and they’re not as bad as it used to be, not as intense. Jongin doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t question it either. He doesn’t want to jinx himself.

A yawn from his right disconcerts him from his thoughts, and he turns to Baekhyun who’s peeping back at him with only one of his eyes open to a squint. Jongin smiles, and Baekhyun breaks out into a small titter.

“Are you that sleep deprived?” Jongin questions, sliding further down in his seat to find a comfortable position. “You sleep like a baby.”

“Hmm…” Baekhyun sighs through his nose and shuts his eyelids close again, daintily and slowly, in a way that mesmerises Jongin without him even realising it. “Less than you are, definitely.”

“Wow!” Jongin mocks surprise. “I didn’t know that!”

Baekhyun laughs. By now, Jongin’s convinced his normal laughter is equivalent to everyone else’s giggle. It’s funny, but it’s adorable at the same time. Baekhyun clicks his tongue at the end of his laughter and gives Jongin’s shoulder a good slap, the sound echoing right after humours the both of them, but not enough to make them laugh.

“But seriously, you need sleep, man.” Baekhyun’s voice drops into a soft level, his comfort tone. Jongin nods his head then, agreeing to his words