It’s dark and it’s cold. One of the things Jongin hates about waking up so early in the morning — even before the Sun has risen — is that it makes him feel lonely. Jongin thinks, as he slides off from his bed, barely putting enough strength in his legs to hold himself up to a stand, that it’s sad. His skin tingles at the cold, and at something else he can’t quite recognise. Nervousness? Maybe. But he doesn’t know what he’s nervous about. He grates his skin with his nails, finding the spots that makes him convulse if they weren’t scratched. He wakes up really quickly this time.

Jongin checks his phone first before anything. He scrolls through his messages and the notifications for the rest of his social media platforms too. There isn’t anything interesting enough or important enough that he’d check right now so Jongin tosses his phone to the side and heads to the bathroom to wash up.

While he brushes his teeth in front of the sink Jongin’s thoughts wander off. It’s a routine, and Jongin’s used to it by now. He goes to take a full body shower after rinsing his mouth. It’s like he switched to auto pilot, doing the same thing every single day, thinking the same things every single day. What makes things slightly confused about today is the fact that he’s not feeling as sleepy as he usually is. He feels oddly energised, like his body knows something good is going to happen. Jongin shakes the thought away right as he steps out of the shower to put on clothes.

His phone rings almost too suddenly, making him jump. He slides across the floorboards of his room to where his phone is to answer the call in his still groggy voice.

“What?”

“Hello to you too, Jong.” Taemin’s sarcastic voice pushes a laugh out of Jongin’s system. “I’m sorry to call you so early — I haven’t slept by the way, if you were wondering and was worried about me — but I’m in a middle of a crisis.”

Jongin switches his call to speaker mode, dropping his phone back down onto the bed as he turns to his wardrobe. He picks out his clothes as he asks what Taemin means.

“I think… I think I really like Baekhyun.”

Jongin pauses mid action. “What?”

“I don’t know how this happened, Jong.” Taemin sighs a little too loudly over the phone, breath fanning the speaker till all it sounds like is just static. “He was just there and I mean, I kissed him. Because we already went to second base. And I thought it wouldn’t be wrong to just share one simple kiss. With tongue. And I didn’t know any better too. And he left after the kiss and I can’t stop feeling this thing inside of me. I feel so— I don’t know! That’s the thing! But I know I just really like this feeling.”

“Is it, like, kind of ticklish but not at the same time? And it makes you feel warm and like that?” Jongin takes a guess.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Wow, you really do like him.”

“I do.”

“You do.”

“I really do.”

Jongin laughs then, softly and empathetically. Like he’s scared Taemin would scream at him if he laughed any louder or harder. Taemin groans then, and he mutters a curt goodbye before hanging up, but Jongin’s quite glad he did so. He’s not really in the mood to entertain so much of Taemin’s antics this early in the morning.  

Jongin prepares himself a simple breakfast — toast and eggs — and downs a shot of liquefied medicine for his nose right after that. He caught a cold a few days before, and it’s not the most pleasant feeling having to breathe through his mouth. Every few minutes, his whole mouth would feel like it’s just been dipped in the desert. He drinks extra water too since water pretty much solves most of his body’s issues.

Jongin feeds Romeo too, and replaces his water. He plays with Romeo for a bit, the realisation that he won’t get to for a few days at the very least at the back of his mind. Romeo’s been lacking the attention he needs and deserves. Jongin feels sorry, but he can’t help it. His father’s funeral didn’t take that long but Romeo only had himself to entertain for the whole week. Some of his friends only check in to make sure Romeo’s well-fed, clean and safe. Nothing else. It’s upsetting, but Jongin really couldn’t do anything about it.

By the time he’s ready to head out to school, the Sun has risen, though it’s still really low. Jongin has a really strong gut feeling, just knowing that the train would be a lot more crowded than the bus so he takes the bus instead. It’s convenient to be living so near to the two most popular mode of public transportation, and Jongin’s glad he rented out such a place.

Jongin reaches school a little over half an hour later, taking light steps into Renjun’s office. He briefly knocks on the door to Renjun’s office while he strolls in very much like he owns the place. Renjun darts his eyes up without actually raising his head to look at Jongin, humming disapprovingly.

“Have some manners. It would do you good,” Renjun drawls.

“Okay, noted,” Jongin drawls back, in the same way Renjun did to mock him.

“Am I really the youngest one in the room?”

“I think so?” Jongin feigns cluelessness before slipping out a short giggle to indicate that he’s joking.

After Jongin’s settled down across from Renjun, the latter simply clears his throat before sighing very deeply. “Remember that house pet thing? Yeah, apparently everyone except you complained about allergies and like that so us professors decided that you don’t have to take care of a house pet.”

“So the round isn’t gonna happen?” Jongin asks, his tone hitching up in hopefulness. He’s making it so obvious that he really doesn’t want to complete this round that it makes Renjun amused.

“It still is. But only with Sehun.” Renjun leans back in his chair and lazily scribbles something down on a document in front of him. “These ers not knowing how to spell library… God, tell me why they even took Linguistics.”

“Is that really necessary?” Jongin squeaks out. “I’m tipping around dangerous territories here, you have to believe me.”

“Well, it’s either Sehun or Judi,” Renjun mumbles.

“Ju— no.” Jongin widens his eyes, leaning away in fear as he eyes Renjun with an expression that says he’s 2 seconds away from flinging himself off of a bridge. “How do you even know about Judi?”

“Sehun it is then.” Renjun chuckles.

“You’re evil. Hear that? That’s the Devil cackling in pride because he created you.” Jongin feels his phone vibrating in his hand. A call is coming in. “And like how the Devil sauntered out of Heaven, I’m going to saunter out of here. Only, this isn’t Heaven. This is Hell.”

“Okay, Jongin.” Renjun doesn’t even bother to lift his head up. He doesn’t find it necessary to entertain Jongin’s bull, so he doesn’t. Jongin clicks his tongue as he walks out before closing the door behind him.

As soon as he’s a few steps away from the office, Jongin immediately picks up the call. “Yeah?”

“Hey, did you receive Kim’s email? He cancelled class.” Chanyeol’s voice sounds incredibly deep, even deeper than normal, and Jongin awes at how terrifying it sounds. “Jongin? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah, I’m here, I hear you— gimme a second, I’m gonna go check.” Jongin pulls his phone away from his ear and immediately does as what he said he’d do. He scrolls through the few spam emails he received and finally stops at Mr. Kim’s one. The latter sent that email a little after the midnight before class. At the top of his screen, a message from his mother pops in. Jongin places his phone back on his ear. “Oh, yeah, got it.”

“You want to go to Baek and Dae’s house to hang out? We’re watching a movie. Plus, I really want to ask Baek about this new guy he’s been seeing.”

Jongin snorts at the last remark. “Okay. You go ahead without me, I still have a few stuff to take care of in school and at home. I’ll come by if I have time.”

“Alright then.” Jongin can just imagine Chanyeol nodding his head with excessive vigour. “See you later. Or not.”

Jongin hums. “See you later or not.”

“I thought there wasn’t any class today?” Jongin jumps at the sudden voice popping in right behind and above his shoulder.

Jongin twirls around and smacks Sehun in the arm. “Say hello next time!”

“Oh.” Sehun blinks. “Well, hello.”

“Too late,” Jongin grumbles.

“Sorry.” Sehun laughs. “Anyway, today’s class has been cancelled right?”

“Yeah.” Jongin nods. “If you knew, why are you here then?”

“I didn’t see the email, came to class and no one was there, so I called Johnny to ask where he was and he told me there’s no class today.” Sehun shrugs. “My luck’s just that bad, I guess.”

“I think mine is too.” Jongin groans. “I came really early today to talk to Renjun because I thought there was class, and then Chanyeol called me and yeah.”

“We really do have the worst luck. Even back then.” Sehun starts walking to the exit. As if Jongin’s legs are so used to following after Sehun, he does the same. Jongin paces himself till he’s walking side by side with Sehun. “Ugh, I hate it.”

“But you were fine.”  

“What about me? My luck?” Sehun asks with a disbelieving grin. Jongin nods in response. “No, no. Never. My luck was so bad. Maybe yours was the worst but mine really was bad.”

“But—”

“Let’s see, my father left me when i was 17, my mom fell sick after that and she almost died, I failed a lot of my classes and I pretty much only had one true friend which was you, and that also ended really badly because of my dumb .”

“Your father what? Your mom what? You what? I’m what?” Jongin grabs a hold of Sehun’s arm, clenching his fingers around the other’s forearm in a tight grip. “I never knew this.”

For a minute or two, Sehun seems like he could’ve been pale enough to be buried under the ground next to other lifeless bodies. It’s a feat really, because he’s already so pale. After he finally realises what he said, Sehun lets his eyelids fall almost automatically. Like he’s shutting down, or rebooting, to escape the situation. He sighs then, before Jongin’s staring into his eyes once again.

“It’s nothing.” Sehun smiles. “Really.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jongin stresses on the matter. He’s not going to let Sehun go. “Sehun?”

“I told no one.” Sehun breathes out, shoulders seeming like they’re deflating as he does so. “It’s nothing personal. I just had really bad trust issues. I still do.”

“Even with me?”

Jongin nods to every single word Sehun’s mouthing out. He has half of his attention on the ground, at every step he takes, at every pebble big enough for him to kick to the side. And the other half is on Sehun, the way the latter gets even bouncier with every point that he makes. Jongin loves the way Sehun’s eyes light up in excitement. It makes him happy too.

“Wow, you’re really listening to my every word, huh?” Sehun laughs.

“Of course. Where else am I going to learn, in detail, about how a horse’s body works?” Jongin titters, head drooping down as his laugh fades into just a smile.

“What if I’m lying?” Sehun asks.

“Why would you lie to me?” Jongin frowns.

“You believe me too much.”

Sehun stands there, in front of Jongin, just inches apart, breath heavy and eye