The sight of people ranging from little children to older retired seniors of the society invades Jongin’s eyes. Children skipping happily and couples giggling at each other. Next to him, Jongdae bursts in bellows of laughter, clinging onto his arm as the ride comes to a stop. The Viking is a fairly thrilling ride, but it’s not so bad to Jongin. Jongdae loves it, and it’s obvious by the way he refused to ride it till the last moment. After it comes to a complete stop, Jongin drags Jongdae off of it and pulls the latter to a huge food stall at the side.

“Can we ride it again later?” Jongdae asks expectantly, his smile growing wider by the millisecond. “I really love it.”

“I can tell. We’ve already been on it twice,” Jongin says through a blinding grin.

“So we can ride it again?”

“I don’t think so, Dae.” Jongin chuckles. “We’ll vomit our food out.”

“Then let’s go one more time before we eat,” Jongdae suggests, his voice morphing into a high-pitched whine halfway, “I really wanna ride it again!”

“Okay, okay, but after we eat.” Jongin grimaces. “I’m starving.”

“What happened to ‘we’ll vomit our food out’?” Jongdae mocks him, quoting the air as he repeated Jongin’s words.

They start laughing again as Jongin retorts with an unintelligent and very unoriginal comeback about his height. They’ve long gotten used to each other’s quips regarding things that were more personal. Jongin’s friendship with Jongdae and the other two, as Jongin himself have noticed, is progressing quite fast. They’re comfortable with each other, and they help each other out. Chanyeol commented once, about Jongin who joked about not wanting to intrude on their special bond, that Jongin fitted right in. It’s weird, because Jongin’s not used to having friends this close in such a short time after meeting them.

One thing he notices happening quite often these days is that each of the three would invite Jongin out without the other two. They mentioned what Baekhyun’s talked about previously; three friends respecting each other’s differences. So he doesn’t understand why they would invite him out. Perhaps, they don’t want to be too lonely. Or maybe they’re trying to let him warm up to them a little longer. Jongin never asked because he feels like he doesn’t have any right to, but he does wonder from time to time.

“Dae, you should buy the chicken and I’ll buy the beef. We can share,” Jongin offers a solution to fulfill both his and Jongdae’s current craving for those two.

“Yeah, sure.” Jongdae goes to the front counter to order food while Jongin goes to find a table near the back for them both.

Once Jongdae comes trotting towards Jongin with a tray of food and a large cup of Jongin guesses would be soda, Jongin clears the table so Jongdae has space to set the tray in. He sits across Jongin, swinging his leg over the bench to get fully seated. They silently start digging into their meal, words seemingly unnecessary as they relish into the most comfortable silence Jongin’s ever fallen in for the past few days.

“Jong…” Jongdae trails off.

Jongin patiently waits for Jongdae to continue talking but when the latter only chews on the chicken without seeming like he’s going to resume, Jongin frowns.

“What is it, Dae?” Jongin stops eating, fingers rubbing against each other as he dusts the crumbs off from his skin.

“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jongdae drops his food back onto the plastic plate, tongue darting around in his mouth, around his teeth, as he thinks about his next words. He doesn’t need Jongin to answer his question. Of course he can ask Jongin something. “Is there— are there any differences b-between, uh, aces and gay?”

A small laugh erupts from within Jongin. “Of course there is.”

Jongdae’s obvious shift in character alarms Jongin as soon as the former leans back in his seat, face turning stiff. Jongin blinks a couple of times, owlishly, dumbly. He lifts both his legs up onto the bench and tucks both of them under him, crossing them.

“Jongdae, what’s wrong?” Jongin asks.

The buzz of chatter around them is still thriving. It’s filled with too much excitement, too much happiness that it’s mocking Jongdae’s obvious change in mood. It’s the first time Jongin has ever seen Jongdae looking so pissed off, so miserable, so lost. A group of teenagers walk pass their table, a commotion stirring within them as they guffaw about something. Jongin wordlessly stares at Jongdae’s face slowly refashioning from empty eyes and furrowed brows to a one that’s breaking.

Jongin quickly gets up, pulling Jongdae up with him. He gathers their things and starts dragging Jongdae away from the carnival. There’s still quite a number of people along the pavement leading to the shopping malls, but it’s way less than back there. Jongin leads Jongdae to the side of the bus stop so they would have some very needed privacy.

“Dae, you gotta tell me what’s wrong.” Jongin circles an arm around Jongdae’s shoulders, squeezing the smaller figure standing next to him tightly enough to show that he’s there. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s wrong…” Jongdae’s voice squeezes into a whimper, lips jutting out into a pout involuntarily. Jongdae doesn’t know when he’s suddenly turned into such a crybaby, but when Jongin pulls him into a tighter hug, he gives the thought up and breathes out shakily. The breath drawls slow and long, like he’s trying to calm himself down. Jongdae’s never been the type to cry loudly. He always cries to himself without even a small whimper escaping him. If people heard him while he’s crying, they’d think he’s just meditating.

“Then tell me.” The bus arrives, but they’re not ready to be seen by people yet so they miss it.

“I had to break up with my ex because she didn’t like that I was aual. Called me a freak. Said it wasn’t normal.” Jongdae inches away from Jongin, making space for his hands to come up to cup his whole face. It’s heartbreaking to see Jongdae so sad. He wasn’t always so cheerful and funny like Baekhyun, he wasn’t always talkative and bright like Chanyeol, but Jongdae has always been the one they go to for help, he’s always been the optimistic one.

"They called me a freak." Jongin tries to swallow down his sobs. He turns to Sehun. "I actually forgot how ty it feels like to be pinned down with names like those. I forgot my normal was that." 

"Don't listen to them. They don't know what they're saying. I know you and I know you're not a freak." 

Having Jongdae’s shaking physique within his hold makes Jongin realise just how much he cares for the other. He’s gone to Jongdae once or twice for things that aren’t too personal to talk about to a friend of barely a month, for vague advices and encouragement that he desperately needs. Jongdae has a way around his words, and he can easily guess every single thing that runs in your mind with just a look. Jongin thinks it’s a gift that Jongdae has. Maybe that’s why Jongdae chose Psychology out of every other course the school offers.

“All my life, I just had everything planned. Everything! When I was 11, I knew what I wanted. I knew what to choose, what to decide. I knew that Psychology was the one for me, I knew Chanyeol and Baekhyun were the one for me, I knew I had to keep you as a close friend, but I never! I never decided on this thing of mine. Something’s just very wrong, and because of that everything turned out to be so wrong! Jongin, I can’t!”

"I want Linguistics." Jongin rakes through his scalp with his trimmed nails, leaving his fingers tangled within the mess of hair atop his head. 

"Then take it." Sehun leans a little closer to Jongin, shoulders bumping. The contact sends Jongin unhealthy waves of attraction towards Sehun. 

"But my parents..." 

"Being understanding is your gift, Kim Jongin. Your parents, ironically, do not understand that." Sehun now has his body slumped against Jongin's side, voice tingling and eyes crinkling as he grins. "I believe in you. As cheesy as it may sound, it's true, I really do." 

Jongin grabs Jongdae’s frail hands and pulls them away, letting them drop and dangle loosely by Jongdae’s side. He clutches the side of Jongdae’s shoulders and forces the other to look at him. “I don’t know what else she said but she’s wrong.”

“I’m sick,” Jongdae whimpers out, face scrunching up again as more tears slither down his cheeks in fat, ugly drops. “There’s something wrong with me.”

“No!” Jongin takes a step back, eyes piercing right back into Jongdae’s orbs. “Don’t say that. Don’t put yourself through that. Please?”

“But it’s true!” It’s not true and Jongin’s the only one who can talk him out of believing so. He shakes his head, thinking about his next words. Before he can voice them out, Jongdae beats him to it. “She said I was a disgrace.”

“She—” Jongin says through a laughter full of mockery that’s directed to the whoever the girl Jongdae’s talking about. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

"Whatever Daein did this time, he's wrong. Daein doesn't know what he's talking about. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Sehun springs up to a stand when he notices the extra glimmer in Jongin's eyes reflecting back under the sunlight. "You're really stressed about this. I'm sorry I couldn't stop him."

Jongin doesn't say anything. He only tilts his head up to stop the natural flow of his tears. He pinches the bridge of his nose too, a dying whimper stuck at the back of his throat. Sehun has always dealt with Jongin crying his heart out but when Jongin starts to breathe a little too fast and shake a little too much, it becomes something else. 

"Hey, hey, relax." Sehun's voice turns into a soft, velvety tone. It does things to Jongin's heart, and maybe that's not what's best for him right now. Jongin struggles to push Sehun away, gasping for air as he does so. "Jongin, you have to breathe."

Sehun wraps his fingers around Jongin's wrist, pulling him closer. Jongin finds himself in a tight embrace by Sehun, his face pressed against the soft cotton that Sehun's wearing. The scent. That scent Jongin would catch a whiff of whenever he stands too close to Sehun is back. One of Sehun's hand goes to the back of Jongin's head, smoothing down the back of his hair again and again. Jongin stutter on a breath as he takes one in, choking on a sob. 

Sehun's free hand wraps a little tighter around Jongin's shoulders, and his thumb protrudes out of his clenched fist to draw circles into Jongin's skin. 

"That's it, breathe." 

Jongdae gives Jongin a soft, restrained punch to the shoulder. Jongin breaks out into a small laugh, hands wrapping around Jongdae’s wrist. Jongin pulls Jongdae to the seats, coaxing Jongdae’s tears away as the seconds tick by. An overbearing silence hovers over their slouched figures, the only sound breaking it from time to time being Jongin tapping his nails against the metal of the bench. Jongdae, having enough of that, picks Jongin’s hand up before dropping it in Jongin’s lap.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“Later?” Jongdae grimaces, hands rubbing on his swollen eyes. “I don’t know what to say now.”

“Okay. As long as you tell me.”

         Jongin downs a shot, the liquid sliding down the contracting muscles in his throat. The remnants of the drink burns his throat, leaves him regretting his life choices the longer the sensation stays. He darts his eyes up to the dance floor, the dim lights doing nothing to ease a sudden oncoming eyesore. His friends left him alone at the seating booth to dance, but he doesn’t mind at all. It’s nice to just sit alone sometimes in a room bustling with people. It makes him delve deeper into his thoughts.

“Kim Jongin!”

Tonight’s reunion night. Meanin