"You know, they say the world turns blue when you're sad," Yongsun could hear the way her voice cracked as she forced herself to speak through the lump in . She didn't dare look to the side, knowing exactly what look of regret and guilt was currently morphing Wheein's features as she let her talk. "Its a lie. It stays the ing same and that makes it ten times worse."

Yongsun took a sip of the drink in her hand as she finished her little speech with a bitter smile, desperate for any kind of distraction the burn in could offer. The silence that engulfed them was nearly painful, a sweet torture to add onto the bitterness of their conversation.

Yongsun never turned her head, staring straight ahead at the city landscape stretching bellow their feet, forearms propped up against the cold metal railing of her apartment's balcony. She took in the blurring lights, the colossal shadows of skyscrapers in the distance, and even though she'd stared at that view many nights before this one, she somehow couldn't remember what it looked like as it twisted and warped behind her watering eyes.

Damn it.

"Unnie..." Wheein's voice was soft. So so soft and Yongsun knew she would've melted at the sound of it any other time, but not tonight. Not after what that voice had said.

"Save it," the drinking woman said between her clenched teeth, cutting the younger off before the sound of that voice had her breaking. She didn't need sugar coated apologies and hollow promises. She just needed the suffocating ache in her chest to stop throbbing.

Yongsun threw her head back as she emptied her glass, features scrunching up at the taste of the alcohol. She'd stopped feeling the cold of the night air a while ago, the buzz of her senses doing a fantastic job at having her forget the numbness of her fingers, her runny nose.

Somewhere in the distance, sirens were blaring, impatient honks and angry shouts sometimes cutting through the other white noise of the city, even as the clock kept ticking deeper into the night. Yongsun could hear the cheers of the rowdy frat boys living three stories down through their opened windows, probably throwing a party, having a good time.

The laughs and hollers were so far away from the older's current mood, she wanted to start laughing with them, if only to fool herself into a better place.

Yongsun heard Wheein start to shift slowly as she moved closer, carefully coming to lean on the railing next to her, cautious, as if she was afraid to scare her away. The eldest could see her look at her from the corner of her eye. She wanted to snap at her, to tell her to leave her alone because the smell of her right now, her body heat so close to hers, it hurt so much. So so so much. She didn't have it in her to do it though and she knew Wheein knew it too.

Yongsun hated how well they knew each other. To think it was something she used to be proud of...

A bitter laugh escaped her as she leaned forward some more, trying to cut the youngest out of her field of vision. She heard Wheein sigh, knowing exactly what the eldest was doing, and a small cruel part of Yongsun was petty enough to rejoice the fact that she could still hurt her with one simple movement.

The sounds of the city were becoming duller and duller, the booming music from three stories down switching to chiller beats as the the party started to die down. How long had they been up there? Yongsun was feeling herself sobering up.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember a time when Wheein's warmth next to her like this comforted her, brought her joy instead of pain. She hated that it still did. It angered her that even though the girl was the source of the pit in her chest, she was also a source of strength, just as she'd always been, and that was terrifying.

The ball in seemed to come back at the though, breaths becoming shallow and rugged and all Yongsun could see behind her closed eyelids was that smile she so adored and how happy it made her.

Damn it all...

How cruel could life get?

Yongsun felt Wheein shift closer as though she had sensed the new wave of desperation suddenly encompassing her and the elder had to fight every fiber of her being not to lean into her, clenching her teeth as her eyes kept burning. A careful hand eventually found its way to Yongsun's shoulder, warm and strong, pressing into her flesh so gently, and yet so firmly at the same time, it was enough to ground her back into the moment. Into her sadness.

And the dams were opened then.

A single tear finally started rolling down Yongsun's cheek, freed after hours of fruitless battle against her own emotions. The hand on her shoulder slid across her back, rubbing soothing circles across the shivering skin and the familiarity of that touch was as heartbreaking as it was comforting. Everything in that moment, every little sensation, her smell, her touch, was just too much for Yongsun to keep her cool and a single sob suddenly shook her entire body, unable to keep her tears silent any longer.

"Unnie," Wheein whispered again, as if it was the only word she knew how to say anymore and she pulled Yongsun against her, hiding the elder's face into the crook of her neck.

"Why?" Yongsun croaked, too weak and tired to keep herself together anymore, arms circling around the girl holding her as though she were the only thing keeping her alive.

"Yongsun...."

"Why are you leaving me alone?"

Yongsun felt soft lips pressing into the skin of her neck, the firm heartbeat against her own sporadic one skipping wildly and she felt Wheein stop breathing for a second, a small hiccup having her falter in her embrace. Still, she didn't let go, holding the elder against her as she fell apart, the fabric of her shirt dampening.

"I'm sorry," Wheein chanted against Yongsun's ear, unsure she was even hearing her pleas as she felt fingers digging painfully into her back, desperately clutching at her. She took it all, the pain and the tears, a receptacle of the elder's suffering. It was the least she could do now. "I'm so sorry..."

Yongsun didn't want to believe her, because then she'd have to accept it. She refused to do that. And as they sank to the ground together, the night cradled them in their sorrow, promising them safety until they fell asleep.

Damn it all to Hell...

-a/n-

Sorry it's been a while! 
I've been working on my other story a little too hard XD

I apologize for the angsty chapter. The girl I've been seeing dumped me yesterday and I wrote this to try get my emotions out.
Please excuse any mistakes, I don't really wanna proofread it. I still feel like :p
In any case, I hope you enjoyed! I swear I'll write a fluffy chapter next to make up for this one XD

Thank you so much for reading and have a good day~