Jae’s POV

“Want to go for ice cream!” I offered smiling at her but still not letting go of her hand, she looked a little uncomfortable with that but still seemed to like it all at the same time. She just nodded and then looked forward, with still my focus on the road I noticed her eyes wondering at everything we passed, with the emptiness in it I can’t help but be puzzled on what she’s thinking.

“I’d give you a hug” she suddenly said once we got parked, the way she smiled when she said that was priceless both cute and stunning. “What for?” I asked with the intention of wanting to know the reason but because of that her smile fainted away replaced by a pout. “You don’t want me to?” she asked with almost teary eyes, so this is what Seunghyun said.

I chuckled pinching her cheeks lightly, “Ani, of course I want it! I just want to know why!” I said to lighten up the mood. Her face immediately beamed after that, we got out the car first before she talked but when I saw her she was looking the other and when I turned she was actually staring at a billboard of Minho that was enough to get me frowning.  “Min said our goodbyes are a little too dry after everything we did earlier so I decided to give you a hug!” the answer she gave me was what I wasn’t expecting but instead of showing my real reaction to that I just smiled seeming like it didn’t affect me or anything.

“Ah, okay”

We walked in the ice cream shop not forgetting to hold her hand the customers all stopped and looked our way. Giving them fan service I put my arm around her leading her to walk first to the counter, she didn’t say anything but looking closely she was smiling at the guy. “Oh annyeong nuna!” he greeted raising his hand for a hi5 she happily gave one back.

‘Seriously, how many fan boys does she have’ I grunted on my thought actually making weird noises, she didn’t pay any attention to me and kept talking to him. ‘How many boys can she make me jealous with' I frowned a little bit at that.

In the end she ordered for both of us and since 2ne1 are regular costumers there was a discount not that I wanted there to be but it’s good for you to know. Anyways we sat at the far end of the shop for privacy of course, I’ve never seen her smiling this wild ever since we started the show she do love eating ice cream. I just watch her eat and eat without even realizing I was staring at her endearingly.

“Ah~” she said snapping me back to reality, the spoon was just inches from my mouth and not having any thoughts I leaned forward engulfing the sweet cold snack then when she scooped another and eating it that just hit me. Indirect kiss! Good thing when I blush it isn’t as noticeable as she does coz if it did I’d probably look like a strawberry by now.

“Hmmm…” she squealed cutely getting the attention of the people around us.

I thought it was a little cute and they did too, they all looked at her like she was some Barbie doll.

“Jaejoong-ah” she called but her attention was at the two kids outside playing cheerfully. “Yeah!” I answered waving back at them who caught us staring.

“What would you do if you like someone but then you gave up on your feelings though it feels like it’s the wrong thing to do?” her voice sounded ever so softly expressing her real feelings through her words.

I once heard her eyes brings out all her emotions that just looking at those brown orbs you would feel the real emotions hidden behind the music and the lyrics and that was proven right. When I found out she was going to be my ‘girlfriend’ I just had the sudden urge to watch all their performances and no one can deny the sentiment on her eyes when she sings … Having a high pitch voice when singing doesn’t have the same feeling as using a low tone but with the softness of her voice when she asked got me connected to her.

“What made you give up?” I asked setting aside the spoon I was holding to get full focus on what she’s bringing up to talk about.

Hearing her voice speak in that way the camera man instantly shut off the cameras and turned to eating their ice cream, they perhaps have sensed the question was a bit too personal to be shot and that was very understanding of them.

“My feelings would never be mutual with his … Even with so much patience a person at some point would get tired and stop waiting” she answered, her head was down avoiding any eye contact with me.

My heart ached from hearing her sadness flow right out with her voice and her expression although she was calm you can just see the sorrow she’s feeling and no one needs anything to see that.

“Now what made you think it’s the wrong thing to do?” asking again I felt like those love experts on T.V giving people advices on their love problems where in real life I can’t even handle my own love problem.

She took a little while to answer that question and I didn’t rush her on that, I waited till she got her thoughts straight out. If that person could only know what he’s missing, not realizing her feelings for him and letting her go through this.

“With patience comes a reward … This past few days I’ve been talking to him and I’m finding myself falling more for him, even with the smallest gesture he manages to make me laugh without knowing about it. You could tell I’m naïve at what my actions are doing to my friends and my family and that’s what I’m scared of, I don’t want them hurting along the process of me being stupid and not able to let go of someone I can never have” she answered again with as much sorrow as she did before.

‘Lucky bastard’ my mind is going crazy hearing her almost grieve for some stupid guy. If I was that guy she wouldn’t be on this situation.

“To tell you the truth … I’m going through the same thing as you but on my side I already know she likes someone else!” I chuckled sadly pointing my head down but before I did I think I saw her expression get worse but I think I’m just seeing things.

“Then why don’t you tell her to settle your mind!”

“I don’t want to lose the friendship we just started to form besides I think I’ve set that one on the wrong side. I always seem to act cold to her without even knowing it, I tend to act stupid around her and I can’t help it” I confessed with a sad chuckle.

“We make a good pair then … both have drastic love lives” she said and we both chuckled.

If you only know you’re the person I’m talking about, all those times we said goodbye I wanted to hug you tight and even kiss your cheeks but when that time came I got too scared of what you’re reaction is going to be, would you act cool for the show or actually be mad at me and now knowing that I actually don’t have any chance with you what’s the point in trying right.

‘No happy ending for Jae’ I sighed.

You seem so near but yet so far, even if I reach my hand for you I feel like with every inch closer the distance between us would only range further. Rejection from you is not what I’m scared for nor the feelings of everyone else, I’m scared of losing you as a friend.

“Love is a complicated thing” I smiled bitterly at her.

Just at that moment I caught her eyes with nothing but sadness in it, although a smile was plastered on her face it didn’t hide the real emotion she’s feeling. If ever she does a drama I’m sure it’s going to be a big hit.

“Jaejoong-ssi, Dara-ssi. Tomorrow would be the last filming of the episode!” PD-nim informed as and I’m glad he did or else I wouldn’t be able to look at away from her.

“Ne!” we both answered at the same time. I didn’t care if the sadness in my voice was obvious to anyone who heard, even though I’m friends with Seunghyun and him to her it’s still awkward for me to just approach her like normal friends.

We walked out the shop just like how we walked in, we laughed like the conversation earlier didn’t happen and as she promised when I dropped her off by her place she gave me a hug. That urge to just not let go of her was overpowering me and I wasn’t sure if I should or not but with the sudden call of her name I pulled back and glared at that person.

“Nuna!” Wooyoung walked out of the apartment building happy to see her. “Oh Wild Bunny!” I flinched at what she called him. ‘Nickname basis now huh’ I thought.

With that she walked away from me and gave him a hug, I waved bye before completely leaving.

“Should I or should I not” I sighed driving away.