It was Jessica and Taeyeon’s first day to attend school after taking a week of break, simply because of their wedding. They were sharing the same car to go to school just how their parents asked them to.

As usual, they could only obey.

Jessica sat quietly next to Taeyeon, who was driving, stealing glances at the latter every now and then without being able to stop herself until the brunette suddenly stopped the car in front of a bus stop, which was located at least a kilometer away from their school.

“Get off.” Taeyeon ordered sternly.

Jessica was completely clueless. “W- what’s wrong?” Even then, she still responded with the softest voice.

“Get off and please don’t talk about our marriage to anyone.”

“But... everyone already knows about it.”

“I don’t care.”

Jessica took a deep breath. It was hard to understand the fact of how easily was it for Taeyeon to make her feel like crying with just a few words. She didn’t know that love can be hurt as much as this.

“And don’t ever try to pretend as if you care about me in front of people. I hate it.” Taeyeon added, emphasizing every word uttered. And it was obviously the same as telling Jessica that she hated her.

Jessica knew it despite thinking that maybe, just maybe, being in the same car, sharing the small space could help them to be at least a little bit closer. It turned out she was just hoping for something that will never happen in the nearest future or possibly forever.

Reluctantly, Jessica stepped out from the car and just like a fool, she just stood there as Taeyeon drove off without hesitation nor sympathy.

“Don’t. Don’t cry. You’re strong. You’re not weak.” Jessica murmured, comforting herself. She started walking down the sidewalk to the school, hugging her bag close to her chest.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Four steps and her tears flowed. It hurt so much.

Accompanied by her tears, Jessica just kept on walking as she continued whispering courage to herself in hope it will calm her heart down.

—

SM High School had just finished its last period for the morning lessons. Jessica and her best friends visited the cafeteria to have their lunch while Taeyeon went to her music lesson. She rarely went to the cafeteria or any other places other than regular classes and music class. That was just how reserved Taeyeon was.

“One, two, three, four, five—”

“What are you doing?”

“There are so many couples in our schools.”

“I think you should just say cafeteria. There are still plenty of them out there.”

“Is that so?” Jessica raised her head and stretched her neck. She was still a bit sleepy and it made her unable to concentrate in the class earlier.

“How is it being married? Is it hard?” Jessica’s best friend, Sooyoung asked curiously. They were waiting for their other best friends, Tiffany and Yoona, who were taking orders at the counter.

“How do I answer that? I haven’t had the chance to do anything that a wife supposes to do.. So, I don’t really know.”

Flashback

The wedding ceremony had finally came to an end. Taeyeon and Jessica moved into their new house on the same day where they will start their life together. It was a two-storey house plus an outdoor pool.

Jessica looked at the clock on her phone. It was already past midnight and Taeyeon was nowhere to be seen. She decided to wait, leaning against the headboard while reading a book to kill some time despite not being able to grab anything from what she just read.

It was all Taeyeon in her head. She cannot wait to sleep in her arms, to get a kiss before they sleep, a soft whisper from the latter in her ears to wish her a good morning. Jessica grinned just by imagining all those things.

With heavy eyelids, Jessica got off the bed and headed downstairs. She decided to look for Taeyeon.

At that time, Taeyeon was sitting on a bench by the pool. She was concentrating on her laptop which was placed on top of a round wooden table.

Jessica smiled again when she saw her other half. Taeyeon wasn’t even really doing anything but she still can’t help her lips from forming such a loving smile. That was just how much she admired the girl.

“Taeyeon...”

Taeyeon averted her attention towards the owner of the voice. Jessica gave her a smile as soon as their eyes met, but Taeyeon responded with nothing but a cold leer.

Jessica noticed the way Taeyeon looked at her. It was like a needle piercing her heart. In spite of that, the smile on her face stayed and she continued her paces toward her. It came to her mind that she might even get something worse than that, but she still wanted to try.

Yes. It wasn’t easy but she had no plan to live like this forever. She didn’t care how bad the outcome might be as long as Taeyeon knew how much she cared.

“What are you doing?” Jessica asked timidly.

“Do I look like I'm swimming?” Taeyeon responded, fixing her attention back to the screen.

Jessica nodded slowly and continued, “Tae.”

“Just say what you want to say and leave me alone.” Taeyeon interjected indignantly. There was no tenderness in her voice, not even a bit.

Jessica felt as if she just got another needle pricked in her heart. She was in pain that made her want to scream for help. But then she can only pretending as if she was okay.

There was no point to ask Taeyeon to stop acting like that. She had to endure it, and just deal with it. They just started. She can’t give up now. That will be ridiculous.

Jessica forced a smile. She wasn’t able to look at the other girl anymore. Her eyes were smeared with tears. And she didn’t want the latter to see it. She didn’t want her to see how weak she was.

“It’s nothing... I just want to say good night.”

“Done?”

Jessica nodded.

“Then, what are you waiting for?”

Jessica turned around and her tears flowed freely. She can’t hold it anymore and just let it flowed.

End of flashback

Jessica sighed heavily as she leaned on the backrest. It made her sad when her friends started to question her about her marriage, which was filled of pain instead of happiness. There wasn’t a single pleasant thing for her to tell them about it.

And besides, her marriage life had nothing to do with them or other people. It was all about her and Taeyeon.

Sooyoung frowned at Jessica’s answer and shrugged her shoulders slightly, obviously failed to catch any hint that showed how her friend wasn’t really living happily with her partner.

“Hey! Help me with the other tray.” Tiffany asked as she handed over a tray full of food to Sooyoung.

Jessica stood up and fixed her short skirt that had already slipped pass by her knees. “Where is it?” She asked.

“It’s at the counter. And also, you’ve to pay for Sooyoung’s drink, too. Yoona didn’t bring enough money.”

“I love you, Sica!” Sooyoung blinked her eyes rapidly, trying hard to look cute to appeal the brown-haired girl.

“Correction; you love my money.” Jessica said jokingly. She went to the counter and there she met her other best friend, Yoona. After they had gotten all of their orders, the four of them gathered at the same table and started to eat their meals.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Tiffany asked concernedly when she noticed Jessica hadn’t touched her sandwich. She just kept on sipping her drink every now and then. She may be there, but her mind was obviously elsewhere. It was obvious with just one glance.

Jessica nodded her head and smiled bitterly.

“Then why aren’t you eating yet? Are you not hungry?”

“I’m just sleepy. Don’t worry. I’ll eat it later.”

“Are you sure? We still have two classes, you know?”

Jessica nodded reassuringly and continued sipping her coffee.

“Did you, perhaps, get into a fight with Taeyeon?” Yoona asked innocently as she munched her sandwich.

“Hey! How could you ask something like that?” Sooyoung gave Yoona a nudge on her side and glared at the latter.

“What? I’m just curious okay!”

“They just got married. Does it make sense for them to fight? Stupid!”

Yoona and Sooyoung continued on bickering. Tiffany shook her head and moved her seat next to Jessica’s.

Jessica laughed when she saw Tiffany’s worried face along with the bread in her hand. It was cute and funny at the same time.

“Stop acting as if everything is okay.” Tiffany pouted.

“Your face looks funny, you know?” Jessica continued to laugh in other to hide her sadness. But after being friends for over a decade, it was difficult for her to hide her feelings from Tiffany. No matter how hard she tried.

“Is she treating you well though? Just be honest with me.”

Jessica stopped laughing immediately. She had lost for words and she can’t fake a smile either. If only they were not in public, she would have hugged Tiffany and cried on her shoulder. She sighed.

“I knew it. Taeyeon is not someone who would treat others well. I’m sorry I can’t do anything about it, Jess.” As expected, Tiffany understood the things that Jessica tried to hide. She felt guilty for her best friend’s fate. Jessica deserved someone better. Not Taeyeon, the jerk.

“I’ll be fine, Tiff. She just needs some time. I’m sure she will change someday.” Jessica smiled reassuringly, still trying to hide the pain in her heart, the pain that was growing as time passed in the presence of Taeyeon.

Tiffany released a heavy sigh. She held Jessica’s hand in her lap, “Should I talk to her?”

“Tiff, trust me. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not fine. I know that."”

Jessica sighed. “I- I just need a hug. Can you hug me?”

Tiffany immediately pulled Jessica into her arms and patted her back. “I’ll always be here for you, Jess. Please don’t hide anything from me. Just tell me if she hurts you, okay?”

Jessica knew how much Tiffany and the others cared about her. But it was just about her and Taeyeon and she should obey the latter more than anyone. Of course she wanted to tell all her troubles and sorrows to them but she can’t, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to be a disobedient wife. She was scared just by imagining Taeyeon losing her faith in her.

“I will be fine.”