2 May YEAR 22.

.

he was cold.

his teeth chattered as goosebumps spread all over his arms. his whole body shook every time he closed his eyes, when all he could see was the fire and burning and him.

he wanted to cry, but he couldn't even do that.

standing up on his feet made him feel heavy, like he could fall over any second by the merest gush of wind. but he kept walking, going towards the door that separated him and his family.

he remembered walking the same path before, and how he saw namjoon hyung gathering all of his clothes from the floor and laying them around him, like a makeshift blanket. the cold never judged; they all had to face it before. and now, it was his turn.

(but he didn't want to be alone)

he blinked slowly, feeling his heart hurt as his mind was filled with his images again. with his body laying still on the bed, fire all around him. he felt angry and sad and desperate, but at this point, what else could he do but remember?

entering the door, his eyes fell closed again. a shaky breath entered through his lips as he stood there, hearing the small sounds of the inside made him slightly more at ease, but words still could not leave his throat.

he tried to formulate a thought, to utter a simple sentence, to simply say something, anything to show that he was here and that he needed someone. he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"we said we'd all go to the sea together."

namjoon was the one that finally came to the door, ushering him inside. the elder spoke, "what's wrong? did you have a nightmare?"

he really couldn't remember what he had answered, all he knew was that namjoon had shook his shoulder slightly when his eyes began to close again. he felt his hyung's cold hand on his forehead, and heard a small curse come out of his lips.

the elder immediately set off, looking for a small container with medicine. when he came back, he tried to swallow the syrup, but his throat was burning and his head felt like it was constantly pulsing. but at the insistent gaze of his hyung, he swallowed the liquid, whimpering slightly as his mouth began to boil.

"you have a fever," his hyung said, directing him towards the small couch that laid in front of his messy table. "you should sleep more. we can talk later."

although he felt like a child, he couldn't deny and say that it didn't feel good to be surrounded by blankets that smelled like his brothers, with one of namjoon's hands gripping his shoulder as a parting.

"hyung?" he asked, turning his head to look back at the hand laying on his shoulder, "will i be able to become an adult like you?"

namjoon turned to him. he didn't say anything. he didn't need to.

jungkook already knew the answer.

.

"although youth can be beautiful, it can be short and wander off; like a shadow, it has a reckless danger to it." -namjoon